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Take a look at this conversation between Fran, The Nanny, and her mum. And for those who haven’t seen it; Fran, the nanny, is working for Mr Sheffield as a nanny, and here she is visiting her mum. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QUnql2bCqkw

So, as it turned out I should have kept my mouth shut about my new fabulous TV… Why!? Only this; a few hours after writing my last entry I went to turn on the TV to watch ”Will and Grace”. It would not start. It is fecking broken. A little bollix red light blink in intervals of three, however, that display of light is not making me any happier, I can assure you. I am being punished for being materialistic. I am sure of it. To make matters worse I couldn’t find the receipt. I searched through my whole flat for hours on end, and still no sight of it. Receipts as old as history itself, kept appearing, but never the right one. Yes, I do keep, and treasure, receipts for cheap toasters and stuff, but for a TV in the price range of “I have never spent this much money on a single item in my whole life”, that I lose. In the end I was soaked in stress-sweat, and my flat looked like a paper dump. Then I wanted to cry, as; poor student + broken TV - receipt = no new or fixed TV. Instead of crying I decided to take action, so I wrote an e-mail of beseech to the online shop where I bought the TV. The next morning I had a receipt waiting in an e-mail from them. I have to send the TV in, all the way to Oslo, and yet I don’t have the gigantic packaging and pallet it came on, and that is also making this whole affair difficult. I am now waiting for a reply from the “Consumer Council” as to how to proceed. Can I just say FUCK! 

I was at my granny's today, as I am every Sunday. We were having a laugh, which is also usual. She is so gas that woman. I was complaining about having little money as a student, being scared it won't last until after surgery and getting a job after that again, and told my gran I was constantly thinking about ways to make some money, when she replies; well, I suppose you just have to put on the glossy high heels and go make your way to the quays... (This is a saying in Norway, and so working the quays means working as a hooker. I don't know if that is a saying in English, so I just wanted to explain it.) Yeah that’s my gran! She will turn 80 on November 6^th. Gotta love her! These photos are of her now, and on her Confirmation day during the war; in 1943. 

Since my second to last entry, and by that I mean back in July, I have actually turned 35. My birthday was on August 2^nd. I had just the closest family down for cake and a social gathering. It was a good day, even though I am that old. I can feel the “fourtyness” creeping upon me, and I do not like it. Suddenly the whole idea of getting older, wrinklier, saggier, liver spottier and more infertile by the minute, does not agree with me. Sod it. I hardly wanted to celebrate my birthday; what's to celebrate really? The fact that I have just gotten so bloody fat and old, huh!?! Hehe... (I am exaggerating this a bit, yes...) My dad gets angry with me when I say things like that. He tells me this; “What is the alternative?” Well, I guess not being here is the only option besides getting older. But he doesn't know what it feels like to be in the situation I am in, how can he? I mean he's been in a relationship with mam since he was 16, and so he hasn’t been single in 43 years. There's just such gross amount of things I have to go through before I will be ready to “get out there again”, and by then the 40s will definitely have gotten closer and even scarier. I try to keep my mind positive, and I constantly keep telling myself that life isn’t over, life can still become great, life can still throw me a bone, life can still turn out nice and even exciting, life can still hold good things, life can still give me a chance to shine, and life might even be able to let me find love, the lasting kind... But even though I tell myself these things, do I actually believe them? No. Not even a smidge. However, I think I found one cell in my body which is positive, and so I will isolate that cell and make it grow. All hope can't be lost. 

Now I have to get back to my history books and try to learn something. I am not very eager at the moment. I am just dreaming and fantasising too much these days. I need a reality check. 

Huggies and stuff, Monsoon :-) 

 

And out of the ashes...

 
- You realize of course now I’m going to have to kill you -

That was one of my favourite quotes from the American sit-com “The Nanny”. I adore it, it is hilarious. I have the first three seasons on DVD. Only annoying thing is that it is on zone 1, and so I have to watch it on the computer. I'd love to see it on my new big flat screen TV. Did I mention I bought a new TV!? *checking earlier posts* No I didn't. This is it. Isn't it cute? Haha. Materialistic much!? I am allowed, sometimes, as long as other things come first. But when you go from an eleven year old 21" TV, with rounded edges and screen, like no TV you ever saw, and to a 42" with HD and all, the difference is worth celebrating if you ask me. It might not be so strange that I find it terrific. There should be pictures here, but for some reason I can't get the browser to open that page.
  
I bet you are thinking; hmmm.... isn't she going to comment on her 3 month sabbatical? I am not. What's to say!? No great excuse. So, let's move forward. However I will say sorry for the absence of comments on your blogs though.

I am now a certified social worker, and yet I am still a student. I am now studying history. These are the two courses I am taking; "World (Global and European) history from 300 AD until ca 1600 and Norwegian history from ca 800 AD until ca 1600", and "World (Global and European) and Norwegian history from ca 1600 until ca 1870". I had my first assignment due today, and I promise you; I felt quite a bit of Forrest Gump emerging from within. I just couldn’t solve it. I sat up until 1.30 am, and then got up again at half 6 this morning. At half 8, (8.30 am) I HAD to deliver, as it was due at nine. I wasn't even half satisfied, but heck; what was I to do? Next time I will not be too proud and stubborn and silly to ask the professors for guidance. I have learned my lesson. I am positive I will not pass, but then it isn’t an exam, so feck it anyway. I'll have another go.

Now some of you might wonder why I am still studying. Well, I have actually decided to tell the “big secret”, which is connected to this. I've known since May last year and now I am ready to tell you. I might have mentioned some sort of surgery but not what kind. The truth is that this fall/winter I am having a gastric bypass; aka “fat surgery”. I've been on a waiting list since last May. MAN am I sick of waiting! I can't wait. I've struggled too many years with weight loss and weight gain, and I can't do it any more. It is be operated or not be here, that is how horrible I feel about the way I am right now. This isn't life, this is merely existence. The whole story behind the weight gain is bleedin’ long, so I won't get into that. I am a person who loves being active and so I can't wait to be able to move around freely without both physical and emotional pain and consequences. Yay! So, this surgery is why I am not working and rather studying still. I want to be done with surgery and ready to start a new phase when I start working, so... But, I love history, even though I found the assignment vexing, so I am enjoying myself. The study is only online, and the lectures are watched on windows media player, so I can watch them when I want to. Plus, another 5 months of going to bed when I want to, with no regards to the next day, is also brilliant. ;-) I adore the night!

Now for a few updates and news:

- I am, needless to say, still fat. Hehe, however I've managed to lose around 23 pounds over the last weeks. So that's good.

- The infamous, yet over-droolworthy-gorgeous Bob is still haunting me, but little by little I am managing it. I have to just live, and so I do. I am quite embarrassed to say that he still is there. What can I say? His smile is etched on my cornea... And I still get chills, the good way, when I “feel” his gaze at me.

- My brother and his girlfriend Cecilie now live downstairs from me. Wee! The house holds two flats; one on the ground floor and then mine upstairs. We have a garden and a semi-ok sized courtyard and a good location. Hehe, I grew up on this housing estate too, so our parents live a mere 300 metres away. Keep the family close eh!?

- My friend, of 32 years, Eva (her Norwegian blog here) is having a baby with her fiancée Erling. They have asked me to be one of the baby's godparents, or sponsor, I am not sure of the word... I felt truly honoured. It will be a boy, and he is due on October 11th. I wish them all well and I love them. They live Tonstad and that is about 1, 5 hours of drive from here. It is a very different landscape there, all mountains and stuff. Here is totally flat you know. I will post pictures from my trip there this summer soon.

- I've gotten into genealogy. It is great fun, emotional and interesting. I've traced a lot of my ancestors who went to America in the late 1800s and early 1900s. Also I found the man one of my dad’s sides descends from. He lived in a neighbouring village, Varhaug, around 8 kilometres from here, in the 1500s. The family moved to Vigrestad in the 1700s, and so in over 400 years that part of the family haven't moved much. Hehe. This is definitely something I'll pursue. By the way; if you read this, live in USA and you know any of the following surnames Gjersdal, Odegaard (from North Dakota) and/or Herigstad, give me a buzz!

Now, this should be enough for today. I want to watch more The Nanny.

Love to all and thanks all for your comments on my B on my Bachelor.