I frickin did it! Yeeea!! I got a C on my continuation exam, and I have never been so over-joyed and thrilled over a C before. But then here in Norway a C is a good grade, so of course I should be happy. And I am. I cried for an hour and a half after finding out, as I was so relieved. I had been living like an emotional wreck, totally on the edge over the summer, and now it is over!! Gee I could burst. Like I said to a friend today; "I became 40 % more happy, instantly, after getting my grade." Especially since 5 out of 12 failed yet again. I am so sad they did, especially since one of them is a good friend at school.
Just had to say!
I am all joy right now!
Looove
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Monday, August 20, 2007
What to write here?
Ok, now I seriously have to get a grip. I do not know why I can’t seem to scrape together a few words. I feel I have nothing to say, let alone write, so then I just don’t.
First day at school today. Went quite well. I even talked to several persons, and they responded well. I am in utter shock. Some even started to talk to me. Did they learn over summer? Who knows? Tiresome day though. I’ve had a horrible headache, or perhaps a tad of sinuses problems. The back of my eyes is pounding like crazy, and I’ve massaged my eyes for hours today. Still not good. Makes me so tired, so I should really just go to bed. Hmmm… Plus we found out that our first exam is on October 8th, which isn’t too far into the future, Yikes! 1800 pages to be learnt until then. Mmmmm, I am glad that headache just got worse from thinking about that.
Still no grade to be seen at “student web” online. That is where I find all the information about my grades, exam dates etc etc. I do hope it won’t take too long, as I find it utterly useless and embarrassing to have to go to school now, and then suddenly just leave, because I failed. Fingers crossed I didn’t. Yet, the uncertainty is creeping upon me, I can say as much. Let us hope I am wrong.
I just want you all to know that I have been reading your blogs although I am crappy at keeping my own. I might not have commented too much lately, but you are all in my thoughts, just so you know. I care about you and your goings-on, it is just I am a bit out of it. A bit lost in stress and complete exhaustion. So sorry!
I think I must go to bed. I will try to be better at updating.
Love in heaps – Monsoon
First day at school today. Went quite well. I even talked to several persons, and they responded well. I am in utter shock. Some even started to talk to me. Did they learn over summer? Who knows? Tiresome day though. I’ve had a horrible headache, or perhaps a tad of sinuses problems. The back of my eyes is pounding like crazy, and I’ve massaged my eyes for hours today. Still not good. Makes me so tired, so I should really just go to bed. Hmmm… Plus we found out that our first exam is on October 8th, which isn’t too far into the future, Yikes! 1800 pages to be learnt until then. Mmmmm, I am glad that headache just got worse from thinking about that.
Still no grade to be seen at “student web” online. That is where I find all the information about my grades, exam dates etc etc. I do hope it won’t take too long, as I find it utterly useless and embarrassing to have to go to school now, and then suddenly just leave, because I failed. Fingers crossed I didn’t. Yet, the uncertainty is creeping upon me, I can say as much. Let us hope I am wrong.
I just want you all to know that I have been reading your blogs although I am crappy at keeping my own. I might not have commented too much lately, but you are all in my thoughts, just so you know. I care about you and your goings-on, it is just I am a bit out of it. A bit lost in stress and complete exhaustion. So sorry!
I think I must go to bed. I will try to be better at updating.
Love in heaps – Monsoon
Thursday, August 09, 2007
Guess what you lot
Last night was hell. I got a fever, painful body and the sorest throat in a million years. Pictured me sitting at the exam being sick, and not being completely alert and ready to write and think at all. In addition, I spent the whole day alternating between crying and studying. So drained and unbelievably wrecked and destroyed, under a ton of pressure, and a feeling of lunacy. Yup that was me. Woke up at 6, by the alarm of course, got up, showered, read, put mascara on, made lunch, read, cried and then went to the train. I met a girl from my class that is in my work group. Turned out she had failed the last one too. To be precise 4 out of 5 in my workgroup had. It had nothing to do with us working badly together, as we didn’t have any assignments as a group at all in this subject. It just so happened that the four of us failed. It was good to talk to her. She told me she was going back to Burundi for some business. I hope she makes it too. She is nice.
Well, as for me. I don’t think that I could even begin to explain how insanely relieved I am right now. But I can’t describe it, as no word would suffice. But the most important thing is this: I AM FUCKING DONE!! At last, I have a summer holiday. I think it went quite well, and I do not smell doomsday or failure. I don’t smell an A or B either, but who’s gonna care? As long as I pass, it is all hallelujahs for me. Woo hoo! Perhaps it was the rainbow that I saw on Tuesday that gave me good luck? I just hope I am not wrong in thinking I passed. That would unquestionably be disastrous.
I am now going to spend the night cuddling my pussycat and doing absolutely fucking nothing. I can’t wait! The first thing I did when I came home was to go to the living room and remove five tons of thick horrible books and stacks and stacks of notepaper. So now I can actually see my sofa and table. Amazing. I am leaving with some not too good pictures trying to capture the incredibly beautiful and breathtaking colour spectacle there was on Tuesday.
See you!
BBBBBBBBBBBB!
Well, as for me. I don’t think that I could even begin to explain how insanely relieved I am right now. But I can’t describe it, as no word would suffice. But the most important thing is this: I AM FUCKING DONE!! At last, I have a summer holiday. I think it went quite well, and I do not smell doomsday or failure. I don’t smell an A or B either, but who’s gonna care? As long as I pass, it is all hallelujahs for me. Woo hoo! Perhaps it was the rainbow that I saw on Tuesday that gave me good luck? I just hope I am not wrong in thinking I passed. That would unquestionably be disastrous.
I am now going to spend the night cuddling my pussycat and doing absolutely fucking nothing. I can’t wait! The first thing I did when I came home was to go to the living room and remove five tons of thick horrible books and stacks and stacks of notepaper. So now I can actually see my sofa and table. Amazing. I am leaving with some not too good pictures trying to capture the incredibly beautiful and breathtaking colour spectacle there was on Tuesday.
See you!
BBBBBBBBBBBB!
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Annoyed much, part I
Norwegian newspapers are becoming very bad indeed. They write so much garbage! Unfortunately, that information lacks the element of surprise. It is as if they are trying to compete to become the most dim-witted, “hip and cool”, silly and sensationalistic paper there is. One thing especially, has caught my attention lately, and it annoys me so much. For instance on the front page it says; “see the pictures; these people were out on the weekend”. This is a feature that shows the people who were out partying and drinking in Stavanger and Oslo every weekend. People can send in their photos. How is that interesting? Am I weird for thinking this is quite terrible? Like there aren’t a trillion other important things to write about. I am not tempted on any level to look at these pictures. Why should I look at many drunk, smiling and pr-horny people taking silly pictures of themselves? In addition, two of the headlines last week were this: “facebook was down for 30 minutes today”, and “granddad disinherited Paris Hilton”… Hold the front page, call CNN and the BBC world news, this is huge!! So many newspapers have this now, and it makes me irate. This is just one of many things that annoy me with today’s newspapers, or should I perhaps say tabloids? Even the most “serious” ones have fallen victim to this shit. Do they think they need to be cool? Do they think young people read the rest of the news if they write a lot of crap? God knows.
And as I am talking about things that get to me. Cinema. Going to the cinema. Why do I always end up in front of the giggling teen who can’t sit still, and who keeps kicking my seat so that it feels like I am a milkshake waiting to happen. And why oh why, do the people on the gallery find it imperative to shower us in popcorn and sweet wrappings? Why are the seats narrow, hard and uncomfortable? Why is there a draft on my feet? Why is there only one armrest, which I painfully share with the “oh-how-I-own-the-world-person” beside me? Why do people talk and comment constantly, and not to mention the smacking of lips… Have these individuals never heard of the concept of other people? Kill me and get it over with! I become hostile and violent, on the inside, and so that is why I can’t go. It isn’t healthy for me, as I build up such an aggression that my head is like a boiler in the end.
Do I sound like an angry person? Perhaps. Usually I am very patient when it comes to people, but somehow not at places like that.
Yep, this is me today. Hehe…
Thursday is the day I’ve been waiting anxiously for… EXAM. I am just glad I am comfortably numb and at ease, eh!?
In addition, I stumbled upon a group on facebook, which had 8, needless to say, gorgeous pictures of Bob.
It gave me a heart attack and I haven’t been myself since that day. Wooooow…It was completely not deliberate. I never ever thought in a million years that he would have a profile on facebook, so I never even searched his name. But there you go, I was wrong. I am so glad I don’t want to poke him in there, just to say “hi”. I am practically sitting on my hands to prevent myself from doing it. BE STRONG!
Well, I can’t seem to find any more things to write about. So bye bye!
And as I am talking about things that get to me. Cinema. Going to the cinema. Why do I always end up in front of the giggling teen who can’t sit still, and who keeps kicking my seat so that it feels like I am a milkshake waiting to happen. And why oh why, do the people on the gallery find it imperative to shower us in popcorn and sweet wrappings? Why are the seats narrow, hard and uncomfortable? Why is there a draft on my feet? Why is there only one armrest, which I painfully share with the “oh-how-I-own-the-world-person” beside me? Why do people talk and comment constantly, and not to mention the smacking of lips… Have these individuals never heard of the concept of other people? Kill me and get it over with! I become hostile and violent, on the inside, and so that is why I can’t go. It isn’t healthy for me, as I build up such an aggression that my head is like a boiler in the end.
Do I sound like an angry person? Perhaps. Usually I am very patient when it comes to people, but somehow not at places like that.
Yep, this is me today. Hehe…
Thursday is the day I’ve been waiting anxiously for… EXAM. I am just glad I am comfortably numb and at ease, eh!?
In addition, I stumbled upon a group on facebook, which had 8, needless to say, gorgeous pictures of Bob.
It gave me a heart attack and I haven’t been myself since that day. Wooooow…It was completely not deliberate. I never ever thought in a million years that he would have a profile on facebook, so I never even searched his name. But there you go, I was wrong. I am so glad I don’t want to poke him in there, just to say “hi”. I am practically sitting on my hands to prevent myself from doing it. BE STRONG!Well, I can’t seem to find any more things to write about. So bye bye!
Saturday, August 04, 2007
33 going on 50
So, birthday over and I have started life as a 33 year old woman. Does it feel different? Well, I grew two inches and lost 60 kilos since yesterday, isn’t it great?! I love getting older. I want to say thanks a million to these people, who all remembered me in some way. By sms, e-mail, my blog, on Msn or facebook. So thanks: my whole family, Mona, Irene, Rønnaug, Vegar, Cecilie, Katrine, Stina, Linda Jeanette, Inger Marie, Tone, Eva, Agnete, Rønnaug, Laura, auntie Sigrun, auntie Marry, Birgitt, May Bente, cousin Agnete, Ann Elin, Leila, Helene, Elise, Ingvild, Martha-Anne, Møyfrid, Karin, Hege, Mette, Linda, Helen, Bente, Cathrine and Janne. Not to mention the two polish painters who sang happy birthday in Polish to me in my living room. At least I have great friends to be thankful for. And oh yes, I almost forgot. I was in the newspaper called Rogalands avis too. Hege and Stina had sent in my congratulations. At least they had chosen a quite normal looking picture. Hehe… (The one I have on blogspot as a profile picture).
This July has been the wettest since 1970! Can you imagine? I think we had 3 days where it didn’t rain in all of July. It is desperate! I am glad August started better. Today is a sunny day as well. However, my living room becomes the Sahara desert at daytime, because of the many windows facing the sun. This of course leaves me hot and horrible, and suddenly not so willing to study. I guess the terrible headache is to blame too.
House is almost finished. It has taken its time, that’s for sure. Ah well! I will be thrilled when it is done. I’ll get my peace in the morning back. Furthermore, I can yet again walk around in me underwear without being scared stiff of frightening the living daylights out of a polish guy looking in the window as he is painting. Yikes! He would fall off the ladder for sure! Not that I have a tendency to not wear clothes inside, but I always walk around like that at the start of the day. Old habit I guess, plus I like wearing close to nothing. It is comfy.
Books you say? Syllabus? Exam? Law? Social economics? Sorry, never heard of them things. I will look them up in a thesaurus for sure. Aaarghh, give me some bleedin’ inspiration for the love and honour of God!!!
If I were a guy this would apply to me for sure! *lol*
Monsoon
This July has been the wettest since 1970! Can you imagine? I think we had 3 days where it didn’t rain in all of July. It is desperate! I am glad August started better. Today is a sunny day as well. However, my living room becomes the Sahara desert at daytime, because of the many windows facing the sun. This of course leaves me hot and horrible, and suddenly not so willing to study. I guess the terrible headache is to blame too.
House is almost finished. It has taken its time, that’s for sure. Ah well! I will be thrilled when it is done. I’ll get my peace in the morning back. Furthermore, I can yet again walk around in me underwear without being scared stiff of frightening the living daylights out of a polish guy looking in the window as he is painting. Yikes! He would fall off the ladder for sure! Not that I have a tendency to not wear clothes inside, but I always walk around like that at the start of the day. Old habit I guess, plus I like wearing close to nothing. It is comfy.
Books you say? Syllabus? Exam? Law? Social economics? Sorry, never heard of them things. I will look them up in a thesaurus for sure. Aaarghh, give me some bleedin’ inspiration for the love and honour of God!!!
If I were a guy this would apply to me for sure! *lol*
Monsoon
Thursday, August 02, 2007
Narcissistic part II
Happy birthday to me. It is now past midnight so it is my birthday actually. Well I was born at 01.55, so to be exact it isn’t my birthday before 1, 5 hours. Funny how little one cares about it when one reaches a certain age. Plus the fact that I spend my days trying to focus and study, and then not being able to, doesn’t exactly help either. I am so stressed. Yeah, like you haven’t heard that before. There is so very little to say, so that is why I don’t write in here. I am dead inside. And like I told my mum; what is there to celebrate exactly? The fact of the matter is:
I am fat
I am single
I am deviant
I am complex
I failed my exam
I am unhappy at Uni
I love someone unattainable
I have dug myself into a hole that I can barely see myself getting out of.
Take a pick! Then my mum said to me: well, you might not see a particular reason to celebrate that you are one year older, and have all these things, but what is the alternative!?!
Hmm… I know! I am so bad for being such a whiner. I will smack my (bitch up) arse. Bad girl! I want out of this dark place. I don’t like it here.
I know it is the stressed and dark me talking, and I dislike that so much. I can’t stand myself when I am like this. The only thing that makes me smile and truly feel good, calm and joyful inside, is the thought of Bob. (Yikes, I was about to write his real name there…) The dream of moving to Spain is a good thought too.
Eva started her new job today, and I am really excited for her. And not to mention proud. She has come along way in the last years, and all honour to her. I love you!
Other news? Hmm. I am painting my house. Well, I am not painting it, as such. There are two Polish students, 21 year old boys, who we hired to do the job. So cute and polite, and very good.
Well, that was my happy jumping up and down in joy blog entry for August 2nd. Yea! I am 33. What a wonder! Hmrf!
Monsoon - feeling sorry for herself in an annoying, childish pathetic way, and being all darkened out.
I am fat
I am single
I am deviant
I am complex
I failed my exam
I am unhappy at Uni
I love someone unattainable
I have dug myself into a hole that I can barely see myself getting out of.
Take a pick! Then my mum said to me: well, you might not see a particular reason to celebrate that you are one year older, and have all these things, but what is the alternative!?!
Hmm… I know! I am so bad for being such a whiner. I will smack my (bitch up) arse. Bad girl! I want out of this dark place. I don’t like it here.
I know it is the stressed and dark me talking, and I dislike that so much. I can’t stand myself when I am like this. The only thing that makes me smile and truly feel good, calm and joyful inside, is the thought of Bob. (Yikes, I was about to write his real name there…) The dream of moving to Spain is a good thought too.
Eva started her new job today, and I am really excited for her. And not to mention proud. She has come along way in the last years, and all honour to her. I love you!
Other news? Hmm. I am painting my house. Well, I am not painting it, as such. There are two Polish students, 21 year old boys, who we hired to do the job. So cute and polite, and very good.
Well, that was my happy jumping up and down in joy blog entry for August 2nd. Yea! I am 33. What a wonder! Hmrf!
Monsoon - feeling sorry for herself in an annoying, childish pathetic way, and being all darkened out.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)