Is there life in me?

I am really upset with what’s happening in the middle east at the moment. Will that story ever see its end? I fear not. There have been ongoing disturbances there since the state of Israel was proclaimed in 1948. In 1947 a UN resolution came that stated the wish to divide Palestine in two. Why did this resolution come? Well, it had much to do with guilt. The allied countries felt guilty for not doing more to prevent the killings of 6 million Jews during WW2. So now they wanted to help the Jews. I wonder had they known then, what they know now, would they still have gone with that decision? Difficult to say. We can only hope that the leaders on all sides will realize what they’re doing, and how their choices affect millions of people. It’s not exactly helping anyone now is it? We can only pray…

And now for something completely different: me! *giggle*

I am back on track. Read in a book today, about eating disorders. It is called “Strong and weak”. It gives advice to the person who is sick, their families, the persons who treat them etc etc. it makes you focus, get the big picture, and helps to sort out silly unwanted thoughts that makes you “be your disorder”.
I know that all I want is to become this healthy person, who cares about her body. Deep inside I am it’s just that when my stress level gets very high I have a sad tendency to eat, to get that instant light-hearted feeling. I really don’t want to die. And being as fat as I am; it is dangerous!

I had Agnete over yesterday evening. We had a very good evening, and I feel that she really cares about me, believes in me, is proud of my weight loss, and likes me. She is never negative towards me, and she believes me when I say how I feel. Such a great tone between us. Well to me there is… I really am glad she is one of my best friends.
She had bought me a birthday present. I got this Lancôme lipgloss thing. Smells divine, and it feels like velvet on my lips. I looked really nice with it on my lips too.

I have the worst headache today. Killing!! No wonder; the humidity here has been brutal. I WANT THUNDER AND LIGHTNING! You weather Gods, do you hear that?! The air needs to be “cleaned”… The way it is now makes me want to do one thing. Namely to sit still.

Wednesday is my birthday. No plans at all, but that’s my own fault. I don’t really feel like celebrating. I am not very keen on those kinds of things. Aargh!! Why do I do this?
I should do something nice for myself on my 32nd birthday. The mere thought of the growth I’ve had since my 31st. WOW. Nothing short of amazing, I am telling you. Not only have I changed for the better, but I’ve lost lots of weight too. So maybe this is the year to really celebrate. I might ask some friends to go out to eat. We’ll see, but that would be nice. There is this Chinese restaurant at Sandnes that I love.

Took this picture last week. Didn’t capture everything on the sky that was gorgeous, but I love it when clouds look pink. I want to lie on one of them, hum a nice melody while wriggling my foot… Join me?!
















Ooops, how did this get in here?!?!














Well, well, well, I should shut up now.
Goodnight to you all - Kisses, kyss, besos etc....

Monsoon

Insomnia, is that a good place to be?!

To answer the above question: No it isn't.

I went to bed a about 12. It is now 2.30, and I haven't slept yet. Got up and went into the living-room, only to discover that my bleedin neighbours were at it again. Stepdad treatening to beat his stepkid (15 years) if he doesn't get the hell out of here. Screaming, arguing, namecalling of the worst kind, at this unholy hour. Could they be as kind as to step inside and continue there, instead of on the stairs. . The stepkid has had a HUGE party with insanely drunk teens tonight. I've heard it all... I feel sorry for the mum in this. She just stands there like a statue, and every now and then she says, yes, but.... Oh wow! She stands out like a grat candiate to join the peace force... Sorry, I am a bit mean, but I am tired and irate!!!

Now, it might seem like I have been eavesdropping, but I haven't. You see these people are loud and clear, like they are using a mic. By the looks, and sounds, of it, I will not be needing a TV from now on. Who needs TV shows, when I can just sit myself down on the sofa and be entertained with real life drama every bloody buggery weekend?!

Why can't I sleep then? One of the unsolved mysterious of the world. I think scientists are looking in to do research on me, I am such a freak of nature. No, kidding aside, (yes that was me trying to be funny, kill me, it's soon 3 am!!) the reason I couldn't sleep was that I could not seem to relax properly. My whole body, soul and mind, brain and skin were all filled with one thing. Could it be Bob? Oh yes it could... I kinda felt a bit looney. I want to just open up my brain and scrape off everything that has to do with him. It would be fantastic to be able to stop loving, caring and longing for him. Because like I've said; UNFORTUNATELY "perfection" will never ever be mine, as unfair as it is. Like during the day, and on most nights, I am able to relax and do what I am supposed to do. But then nights like this appear, and suddenly it isn't all good. Of course it wasn't just Bob, I was just really restless...

Luckily I am optimistic about this, and I keep on hoping for a breakthrough. It will come, even though it will take a while...

I guess I should try to go to sleep.

Monsoon *singing "I can't get no sleep"*

Ps. You might experience nausea by the content. Epecially where I have tried to be funny at 3 am, and not succeeded in doing so. The writer takes no responsibilty, however, should a reader perish from reading this. It's not my fault that I lack the ability to be sane at this hour... Ds

Some more...

The breaking of the spell

















Fragments to dominate silence













I just have to show you two more from Norma Bessouet.

I am having quite a crappy day. Think it is the reality that’s creeping upon me. The reality I dread is the one where University starts in a little over two weeks. I am dreading it so much I can’t even begin to explain. I hate the way I am sometimes. Insecurity is going to kill me. I vision in my head the worst scenarios. Like me being friendless at Uni, not being smart enough to make the demands of the study, people avoiding me because I am fat, hurtful remarks, giggles and slander behind my back. Yes, just every thing I fear will happen. My negative and insecure self see these things. However, I do know that the real reality isn’t like I make it up to be. It’s much better. You see, there is actually one part of me who is confident, who does believe in herself, and who does think that she is worth knowing. Funny how your mind can mess you up.

I promise that I will not oppress myself that way. What good does it do?
And for feck’s sake; I did make a lot of very nice friends at the school I attended for the last 1,5 year. So why would it be different where I am going now? It probably isn’t…

Just watched the film “Matilda”. It is a most delightful film. Funny, heart-warming and cool. Of course, I am a big fan of Roald Dahl’s books. He writes in a clever way, and his books are nothing like anyone else’s. I never read any of his books before I was 20. Two kids I got to know in Ireland, showed me Dahl’s books. I remember reading Tiarnán and Tara their bedtime stories, every time I babysat them. It was always Dahl, and one of the stories was “Revolting rhymes”. It was hilarious! So they got me started on him, and I am grateful for that.

Yesterday evening Vegar and I chatted for almost two hours on Msn messenger. Lovely. He is so great! Oh, did we talk about sex? Nooo… How can you think such a thing? *lol* Well we did. It’s fabulous to have a boy/man to talk to about these things. He appreciates that I am soooo open, easy to talk to, and straight forward. So is he. I like him a lot, as a friend that is. However, I will admit that he is good-looking, very much so. But by God; he is 11 years younger than me. Hehe, and I do tend to like 50 year olds…

I was disgusted by something I read on a gay/bi/lesbian web page here in Norway. A young man, 19, had been beaten on a tram in Oslo, for being gay. Several men had approached him and called him the worst things. Like a..-fucker, mother fucker, and more. He tried to get past them, but then they started to hit and kick him. None of the the people on the tram tried to stop it, not even the driver. It is a disgrace! The tram driver should have called the police instantly. I am just outraged that things like this happen. People like them disgust me big time. I so want to say something else, but I fear I will provoke too much... So I'll shut my hole. But there have been three incidents like this lately, which shows that we as queers still have a long way to go before being completely accepted as equivalent humans.

See you, and be good now, right...

Monsoon

Norma Bessouet, wow, I am impressed!

I have found a new favourite painter. Her name is Norma Bessouet, and she is originally from Argentina. I just love her work, and I hope to see an exhibition one day. Her work is stunning, and in many of her pictures, the use of the colour red seems significant. Well, that is how I interpret it. Just look at this one. It is called “the predestined”. I could look at it for months.





Other favourites are Gustav Klimt, Salvador Dalí, and the Norwegian Edvard Munch.










I will be back later on today, for more writing.


Monsoon :-)

Rural

These pictures were meant to have been in the last post. They show what the area around here mostly look like. Well the nature is not like this all over the place, but you get a certain image anyways. It is very very flat at Vigrestad.

Warm and stinky, yet good

Yummy!

Had to go the pharmacist today for a prescription thing. So then I started the car and drove off. Unfortunately the car squeals like a pig in a foul mood. I think it is the fan belt that's broken, but somehow my dad has this other idea. I just know that my parents are going on holidays tomorrow, and I am supposed to drive around with this big bundle of excruciatingly high-pitched noise. Hmm... I sound really ungrateful... But it's just enormously embarrassing to drive in that thing. People stare, laugh and point, and I feel like a complete arse. I feel everybody is thinking: "Why in buggery bollix doesn't she fix that?". Maybe I could drive around with a sign that apologizes and explains? No, I am joking.

Anyhoooow.... So there I was, in the car listening to loud music to try to drown the squealing noise. Soon I found out that this drive was going to be "tour de shite-smells". I live in a rural area, where there are farms all over the place. (Don't get me wrong; I love living here!) So from Vigrestad, passing Varhaug on my way, I reached Nærbø. It is not a long drive, but I "detected" the beautiful scent of 12 different shite smells, from farmers spreading cow manure over their fields. In this heat it is very unpleasant... Why? Well, because it is virtually impossible to drive with windows down, unless you want to smell like a dung. It sticks in your hair like in a blink of a moment, and don't get me started on laundry... If there is good laundry weather, you can be ensured that the farmers are out with their shite... However, we need farmers for food, and in between their slow-going tractors and manure; you gotta love them...

Later on. Just back from a dinner at Agnete's. She and her sister Sigrid had cooked a most delicious chicken soup. Usually I am not one for soup, but this one was incredibly good. So good that I asked for the recipe. Lots of nice and hot spices. I love a hot dish! We had a terrific evening. They're both great girls!

Also I had gotten a very nice mail from my new Italian friend Laura. She seems so sweet, and I hope to keep in touch with her for a long time. Isn't it great what the internet and a blog can do?
Makes the world so much smaller, which in most cases is fabulous! I love making friends on the net.

My cat is beautiful. Just had to mention that. She is lying on my desk, half-awake gazing at me.

I can never get him out of my mind. He is in me, in my soul, at all times. Never ever leaves, not for a second.

Monsoon :-) Forever seeking the impossible.

Love thy neighbour

Jupp, when I opened my e-mail today the messages just kept coming and coming... I had a total of 230 new messages, all from comments on my blog. But they were all commercials, so I have now put on the "moderating comments" option on my blog. Which means that I have to approve the comments before they are posted. So if you don't see your comment immediately; that's why! Just wanted to mention that.

Still upset from yesterday's electricity "blackout". I had written such a good blogentry, if I might say so myself. I am rarely satisfied with what I write, but that one was special... I can't remember either, it was just one of those occasions where it all fit, and the words just came tumbling...

I am very dissatisfied with my new neighbours. Aarggh! They moved in about three weeks ago, and already they have annoyed the hell out of me several times. Your man came home drunk from the local pub last night, and he drove a motorbike at a speed, and sound, that was fucking unreal in a housing estate. Not only that. At 2 in the morning the eejet managed to race the engine for 15 minutes, like a bleedin' gobshite. Does he sound like a teen? Yeah, but he is a grown man. I can't stand people that appear to be unaware of the consept of other people... It's like they go through life thinking: "Oh, am I not the only person here? Am I not allowed to do whatever I like at all times, without thinking of others? Am I not God?". He is the kind of man that thinks the whole world revolves around him, prancing around bossing and screaming at his poor wife. Doesn't even try to keep his voice down. He is in the need of a good whippin'!! For the record; I know he was drunk because my friend had been to the pub and she said he was plastered.

I wish my little old "window tattoo" lady would move back. I regret being annoyed at her for practically living in the window staring at me at all times. (like I am sooo interesting...) I much rather have that!!

Found this poem on another blog, and I liked it. So I am posting it.

So bound

Eyes, so distant, burning in my mind
The longing, the love and care they display
Why can’t you wake up?
Why can’t you see it like it is?
The truth is there, right in front of you
Dare to grab it, seize it while you still can
But you can’t believe it, you can’t trust me,
There is too much at stake, too much security
The calmness, which you need
Your thoughts on how life is supposed to go
I stirred it all up, with my obvious love for you
But you can’t take the step you need to
You’re too bound, too into everything, too frightened
Scared I won’t last…
But I will, I will last, I will wait, secretly, forever my love
Never mind everything else, forever I say.

Also I found this saying about love. A boy said it in a competition once.

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth"

I will leave you go now. Hopefully I will be able to squeeze out some stuff that might be a tad funny or interesting, some other time. I am so not brilliant at this right now.

Monsoon :-) Bob...

Funny

I am laughing my head off by this one. What a weird and silly kitten... *lol*

FECKING SHITE!!!!!!!

GOBSHITE ELECTRICITY THAT KEEPS ON DISAPPEARING! Is this some fucking shitty country where nothings works!??!?!?! Appearently! In two weeks this has happened four times now...

I was in a foul foul mood already, and so now I am just so irate I can't express it. I had written a very long, emotional and important blogentry in here. Important to me... And in the split of a second the electricity went, and there I sat... So mad that I had to count to ten, not to break something. I can't write any more right now...

Aaargghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mon-fucking-soon

Excuse me, while I kiss this guy...

... yeah like that is ever going to happen. *lol* But one is allowed to look, right?
And so I do. *drooling all over the place*













Ok, I know I am 31, VERY soon 32 though, and getting all excited over a celeb is something that should belong to being a teen. But who cares?! I have never written about anyone I find sexy in here before, so I thought it was about time. Since the age of 14, Bono in U2 has been the sexiest man alive, to me... However; I have to say that after 18 years, Mr. Materazzi is about to push Bono off his throne. Irene, Rønnaug and several other of my friends will kill me now, as Bono is "the man" for them too. We are all silly aren't we?

I am now going to watch "Hustle" on TV. I love that show!

Also I'm driving my grandda for the third time to the hospital tomorrow. Yaaawn... I hope the wait isn't like on Monday when I was away from 8.30 am, till 5 pm... Couldn't they just have admitted the poor 85 year old man? He has been in and out 5 times in one week...

Monsoon - the silly drooling one -

Yikes!

This was the picture that was meant to be in yesterday's post. Isn't it great the way these don't look unnatural at all?! What ever did they put in there? Two footballs perhaps?

Boobs, computer screen and me...

I am so glad that I am not mad today. Haha! I am furious. Like I’ve said earlier; I had saved money, and I decided not to buy a new mobile. You know to spend the money on something nicer. But of course my computer screen then had to go all mental on me. There are these stripes on it that rolls over the screen, and makes it terrible to look at. My eyes feel all weird. So I will probably have to a buy a new one. How convenient.

My birthday is on 2nd of August, which means it’s in about two weeks. I guess I could wish for money from mum and dad, that way I don’t have to use all my money on it. Hmmm…

I am currently also annoyed at my boobs. I know I’ve been at this complaining once before, but how can I tire from mentioning this when it really does bother me. Golly, they are so huge, and it is such a hassle to find a suitable bra. If it fits around the cup is too small, and vice versa. Working out isn’t always a pleasure when being a bit heavy at the frontal area…

I think I have to make a serious vow to find an excellent bra. One that doesn’t make the boobs too pointy, too flat, too round, too pendulous, or too squeezed together. And by God, let’s have nothing of the look and distress of my boobs hoisted way up there... It then feels like they’re trying strangle me. Not nice.

I cannot even begin to understand the fact that so many women get implants. But then again; I have never been flat chested (well I was until the age of 11,5….) so I guess it is difficult to comprehend. I am not here to judge, I merely don’t get that someone wants to have big bigger biggest boobs if they don’t have to. They are so in the way in the daily life. If you want to run;
ouch! When I walk into a room, I feel that my boobs enter the room several minutes before the rest of me follow.
You look fatter with bigger boobs, cool jackets and suit coats aren’t exactly flattering with two bulges at the top… I could go on and on. But as long as you get implants that suit ytour body, and not end up like this: Ok, there was supposed to be a picture of a woman with HUGE tits here, that are over-too-large for her body... Clearly implants. Shivers down my spine. How anyone can like this is beyond me. I cannot get pictures in here. Feck it anyway!

But enough titty talk.

Just found out I was accepted into the University at their “Bachelor in sociology” study. I think that’s what it’s called in English. Not always easy to translate school related things… It is all so different. In Norwegian; Bachelor i sosialfag or sosionom. Stina and Ann-Kathrin, friends from school, got in as well! Yea!

I have had a bit of a lousy week exercise wise. However, I know that I can just start working out again, and everything will be grand.

Had Elise over today. It was fabulous seeing her!! We had a nice time chatting, discussing and eating ice cream with non-stop and peanuts on. Yummy! I hope it isn’t the last time she shows up. She is terrific!

I think I should go to bed. I am tired, and I am thinking way too much on someone.

Monsoon

The "Dubs"

Hihi... Came upon a page on the net that's really funny for a girl who has lived in near Dublin.
I can just hear those lovely Dubliners talking. Love it!

It's called http://www.overheardindublin.com/ and it's similar to the one called overheardinnewyork.

Here are a few of them

At an ATM machine in town, a woman and her daughter are getting money out.
The daughter is reefing at her knickers through her O'Neills tracksuit bottoms.
Mother: "Jaysus, will you stop at yer feckin' arse!"
Daughter: "I can't!! Me knickers are bleedin' ridin' me!!"

Overheard by Joe, O'Connell street


This one is baad, Germanic-Irish relations

In a shop queue a young mother slaps the arse off her screaming nipper (kid)
Behind her are two obviously German tourists, disgusted by this public display of child abuse.

German tourist: "excuse me, in Germany we do not hit our children"
Irate mother: "oh yeah, well in Ireland we don't gass the Jews"

Overheard by donal, grafton street


...First cums da bapatizim!!

Waiting on the 76 at the square in Tallaght - two scudgie burds at the stop, a 77A pulls up, and three more scummers get out and start chatting to the others...

"Worr are yiz gonna buy in da squaire?", one of them says, and the reply she gets..

"I'm goin buyin bleedin nottin, wer’ee goin robbin 'cause I'vea christening on saturday and da babie needs shooze!".

Overheard by Chickenhead, The Square, Tallaght (of course). (Tallaght is a very rough area)


I have tried to sort out my stuff from school today. I'm not done, but at least I've started!
Also I've bought a new phone, an ordinary one, not a mobile. My old one was fecked up, so I had to buy a new one.

Lazy day... Tired as well, as I fell asleep at 3 am, and got up at 4 am to drive my friend to the airport. Came home at 6, and went to bed. I just can't seem to be able to bleedin relax these days. So I "force-slept" until half nine, and then I got up and went shopping.

I can't post pictures, which annoys the hell out of me. Don't know what's wrong. It has to do with security... Aarghh! Cookie me this, cookie me that.... Will youse shut up!

Monsoon :-)

I am astonished

Hmmm. Yum.

This man is probably hated by many, and I am not getting into a debate on the whole incident between Materazzi and Zidane.

I am merely here to tell you that I am surprised at myself. Why you ask. Well here is why; since forever I have been attracted to WAY older guys, and I haven't even found anything remotely attractive with men my age. Until now.

Until Marco Materazzi showed up. Of course he is "over- unattainable", but that isn't the point here. I don't know him, and I never will. I only focus on his appearance in this case...

He is only one year older than me, and I find him good-looking, and yes, hot... I am so "proud" of myself. *lol* You know he has got those brown eyes, and I am a sucker for brown eyes. We all know who I think has the most gorgeous big brown eyes ever, but I won't mention his name. So for the first time in my adult life I like the looks of a man my age. A small, yet important, breakthrough I think...

Other than that, what's new? Nothing much. I miss a certain someone. I just could not sleep last night. Didn't fall asleep before 3 o'clock, even though I was knackered. Kept twisting and turning, thinking about him, unintentionally, and just felt like screaming because I feel like talking to him. And I feel... No I won't say more now. Enough. I will keep that to myself, I think it's important to do that sometimes... Perhaps.

I keep loosing weight, slowly, painfully slow. Arh! But I am glad that it's going down, and not up, so I won't complain. I work out, almost every day, and I use hand manuals to strengthen my arms as well. So I am doing well in that departement at least.

I am driving a friend of mine to the airport at 4.30 am, so maybe I should go to bed. It is after all past midnight.

Coming Tuesday Elise from my Spanish class is coming for a visit. Can't wait to see her. It's been ages, and she is someone I treasure. She is one of a kind. Intelligent, funny, serious, conscientious, and real. And she has a positive affect on me, which I appreciate. I like the way we have fun together. We both love to play with words and languages, and so we do!! *lol*

Monsoon :-)

Exhausted after watching the final

ITALY WON!!!!

What a match. So exciting, I was sitting on the edge the whole time. Materazzi's goal was brilliant!! After ordinary time, and extra time, it was still 1-1. So then it was time for penalties. My stomach hurt with the thrill, I couldn't sit still in my sofa, so I was standing. I hardly dared to look... But there was nothing to worry about; Italy won! They scored on all their penalties, in a most magnificant way! I especially loved De Rossi's goal.

I am also immensly impressed by Cannavaro's skills. Wow! And not to mention Buffon.
When I am finally back as an Italy fan, they go and win the whole World Cup. It couldn't get better. Imagine being in Italy now, or tomorrow, when they probably arrive home. The atmosphere is bound to be unreal!!

I have no one to celebrate with, as not so many of my friends are football fans... So I'll go and scream and be thrilled with my cat. *lol*

ITALY!!!!! Woo hoo!

Monsoon :-)

Schindler's list and some football

It is past midnight now, so this post will be filed under Sunday 9th...

On Friday evening I watched "Schindler's list". It was years since I last saw it. Did I cry? Nooo, how can you ever think such a thing?!? Of course I fecking did. The girl with the red coat... What a strong symbol. The first time we see her, she is running around in the streets. The next time we see her, she is lying dead on a wooden wheelbarrow. This is one of the two things the film shows in colour. The other one is the Sabbath that the Rabbi holds almost in the end. We then see the light from the candles in colour.

It's a very strong film. Remarkable acting by Liam Neeson, Ben Kingsly and Ralph Fiennes, and also the rest of the cast. Not to say; Spielberg did a supurb directing job on this film. Powerful! It's almost hypnotic in it's perfomance, and I feel I can't blink or I'll miss something brilliant. In the beginning when Neeson is sitting there amongst the nazis, peering, smoking, pondering, and with an appraising look on his face... Oh my God!

And Fiennes way of acting is amazing. He is so cold, so vile, so cynical, mad and kinda "psycho in the head", in the most terrific ways.

It is a very very good film. Also a film that makes one think, in a deeper sense that is... It sticks with you.

Meanwhile; I am thrilled for Germany, and handsome trainer Jurgen, that they won the bronze final tonight. So deserved! I think they've played some brilliant football. But I have to say that I think Italy is better. They have some incredible players; Zambrotta, Cannavaro, Del Piero, Pirlo, and their goalkeeper must be one of the top goalkeepers of the whole World Cup.

So the final is going to be great. Looking very much forward to it!!! I'll probably be screaming, yelling, sighing and cheering like a crazy woman... I just get totally excited!

I guess I should go to bed now. It's late. But first I will have to listen to "Let my love open the door" and "The seeker"...

Monsoon :-)

Is that yo bitch?

Well, well, well... I have been shopping for some gadgets to strenghten the muscles in my arms. It's not an easy task to find good exercises for the arms, that actually work. So that's why I went out and bought these thingys... I don't know the English word for it, but if I am to translate directly from Norwegian into English it would be "hand manuals" or "weight manuals".

I have a had quite a pissing shitey day. Don't know why, it's just one of those days I guess.
Keep thinking about someone whom I shouldn't think of. It's not even getting better or easier. It's the complete opposite, in fact.

But now I am going to watch the bronze final between Germany, with the cute trainer Jurgen Klinsmann, and Portugal.

I am leaving with the lovely lyircs of a U2 song that I like a lot... There is just something vulnerable about it, and also some sort of silent desperation... Which I looove about songs!!!


When I look at the world - U2

When you look at the world
What is it that you see
People find all kinds of things
That bring them to their knees

I see an expression
So clear and so true
That it changes the atmosphere
When you walk (in)to the room

So I try to be like you
Try to feel it like you do
But without you it's no use
I can't see what you see
When I look at the world

When the night is someone else's
And you're trying to get some sleep
When your thoughts are too expensive
To ever want to keep

When there's all kinds of chaos
And everyone is walking lame
You don't even blink now do you
Or even look away

So I try to be like you
Try to feel it like you do
But without you it's no use
I can't see what you see
When I look at the world

I can't wait any longer
I can't wait 'til I'm stronger
Can't wait any longer
To see what you see
When I look at the world

I'm in the waiting room
I can't see for the smoke
I think of you and your holy book
When the rest of us choke

Tell me, tell me
What do you see
Tell me, tell me
What's wrong with me


Monsoon :-)

For The Who and Rachel fans!!

As you probably know over-brillliant, fantastic, marvellous The Who are touring, and so is talented and divine Rachel Fuller, with her In the Attic show too... They tour together!!

For us unfortunate ones who can't afford to go to shows, or are like me; too fat to endure the travel and stress of a concert; here is a consolation http://thewholive.tv/

On this page you'll be able to see concerts live, or recordings of, for instance, "Hyde Park Calling" which I watched the other night. Fucking amazing, and like I wrote, tears were running...

So I really, really urge anyone who consider themselves a fan to check it out. I also strongly recommend to give In the Attic a peak. It's a great musical, and fun show, where guests appear and jam with, or without, Rachel, Mikey, Pete and Simon.

The next show is tonight, at 21.00 BST, in Liverpool. It doesn't even collide with any World Cup match.

The bronze final isn't intil Saturday. I hope Germany wins, I think they have deserved that. But as for Sunday's FINAL; I want Italy to win!!!

Monsoon

The melting pot

It has been indeed very roasting today. Puh! For a fat lady, heat has its toll on me, but at the same time I love summer. I can't wait to be thinner, and in that being able to enjoy the joys of summer. It's so rare that truly nice weather comes our way, so it's a tragedy not being able to like it. As I don't have a bikini (*lol*!!!) I was wearing close to nothing while being inside during the day. (I was in my knickers and bra, but don't fear for the eyesight of my neighbours; I am well aware of the fact that I have to protect their eyes, so I closed the blinds and curtains. hihi...) I sat outside for a little while because there was a breeze that felt really good.

I am appalled by the way the prizes on properties are here these days. I saw this in a
newspaper today.
































These pictures show an apartment that needs a total renovation, and no wonder; look at the state of that bathroom. There is tons of fungus, "creatures" under the hardwood floors, and it's basically falling apart. But nevertheless. Sold for an amazingly high prize: 1,5 million Norwegian kroner. (which means 131 000 pounds, and 241 000 dollars) Where is this going to end? I think we already use a much too high percentage of our income just to have a roof over our heads. Crazy!

Over to something completely different, but also shocking, too me...

I read that apparently it is insanely common for women to fake orgasms. I read it in a newspaper, and like me, the newspaper felt like investigating this, so they went out on the street to get some answers.The women they asked totally agreed, and said things like: Everybody does that. Na haaa! I don't! Why the fuck would I fake an orgasm? To me that is like, well I don't know what to compare it to... It's just really out of the question. I think that's a horrible thing to do to ones partner. Where has honesty gone? One shouldn't lie about anything that has to do with intimacy, really! According to me, openness, honesty, communication and a tad of patience and tolerance, are all key things that should be included in any intimate relationship, and by that I also mean in bed. (or other places you might find cool to do the business)
So to me, faking it, is not being honest.

Say that you are at it... You can't see that this is taking you to the highest, you can't stop thinking about the grocery bill or dirty laundry, and you feel like faking it. Why do you want to fake it? To "get him off you" perhaps? To be done?
What about instead of faking, try to use the art of speaking instead? If you don't want to do it any more; tell him so. But tell him in a way that doesn't make him feel like he is a lousy lover, and maybe instead give him some extra attention. I don't know, but don't fake it.

While with my ex I would never ever give her the impression that she had taken me to the top unless she really did. Why should I "pat her on the shoulder" if she hadn't earned up to it? And why do all men say that no one they have been with has faked? Some of you must have experienced it, since so many women fake it. Maybe you can't spot a fake one? I can! Trust me, you can totally tell. But, you will have to know your woman and her reactions. But this takes practise, patience, connection, and it requires that you really learn about your girl. Hint: You can even feel it in the way her muscles behave... *cough* Get the picture!?

Ok, I am no expert on the subject, I am merely speaking from my own experiences and thoughts. So don't kill me if you think I suck! *lol*

Will go now, as I should try to sleep.

Monsoon

Yesss!!!

ITALY WON!!

Beat Germany 2-0, and scored both goals within the last minutes. Wow! Super cool! What a match. So many "almost score chances", which made it exciting... Almost too exciting at times.

Ok, I know, this isn't a football blog, so I'll stop. But I am totally happy!

Woohoo!!

By the way...

HAPPY 4th of JULY !!

To all of you in the USA.

In 1999 I was in New York for 4th of July, and is was magnificent!

Enjoy your day!!

Monsoon

In for a quickie

Hello...

Today my mobile rang, and it was Helene who called. She has been a good friend of mine since 1990, and she is the one I shared the flat with in Oslo. She was actually "home" at her parents here at Vigrestad. She came and collected me, so that I could meet her boyfriend. Helene's parents practically live on the sea, and so the cool sea breeze there was fantastic on a roasting day like this... Her man was a great guy, really nice and easy to talk to. Good looking too!! He and I are in fact born on the same day: 2nd of August 1974... Kinda funny, especially as Helene share her Birthday with Bob. (they are in different years though) It was fabulous to see Helene, and her sister was there too. Hadn't seen her for 4 years, so it was terrific to see her too. Nice evening!

Other than that I have cut the grass, watered the roses and the hedge, and after that I worked out for 37 minutes. It was sooo hot, and I don't think I have ever been more sweaty. *lol* During my work out I drank like close to 2 litres of water. Thirsty much!?
But I am very glad that I was able to pressure myself to endure the uncomfort, and aslo the fatigue feeling I had. If a work out feels extraordinarily hard, I tell myself this: You're worth it, you're worth it!

So now I am awaiting the semifinal in World Cup, between Italy and Germany. I wonder if the players on Italy will be affected by the disturbances and accusations concerning 4 of the Series A teams in Italy. Of course they're probably thinking about it, but I hope that it won't affect them to such an extent that they can't play football the way they usually do. The trouble is about cheating in the series A, and four teams are invloved; Juventus, Milan, Lazio og Fiorentina. Juventus is said to be the main part within this, and they might be degraded to C1 if the public prosecutor gets his will. I wonder f this is all true? Wish we could get more information. If all this really is true, it is a bit disappointing!
I am cheering for Italy nevertheless, pissing my brother off. *lol* Italy is his least favourite team. Don't get him!! When I was a football fan in my earlier years, I always cheered for Italy and Spain. So why change?


Well got to go now... Sports are calling me to my BIG TV. Not! I have a 20" Tv, and the sound is crappy as well as the football players look like ants... Ah well...

Monsoon :-)

More The Who

Yepp. Last night's show was un-fucking-believable. It was magical. Roger was soo cute, going around smiling all the time, and by the looks of it; really enjoying himself. I was enjoying myself too, big big time!

"Love reign o'er me" had me in tears. Sung with such passion. Talk about getting high from a song... I was totally high! What drums, what voice, what strength, what guitar, what enthusiasm, and not to say; what desperation!!

Highlights for me, including Love reign o'er me, were "Real good looking boy", "Pinball wizard", Baba O'Riley, The Seeker, "Behind blue eyes" (could a song BE more beautiful!?) and of course the one and only "Bargain".

Pete showed some fantastic riffs on his guitar, and boy does he play that thing!
Those guys can rock!! Give me some more of that, some real, solid, honest, down to earth rock, with no "Barbie doll men" trying to be rockers... They can feck off for all I care. Honest to God.
The Who are so cool, and I just have to see them live once before I die. Pray they'll tour at least once more in the future.

I must have been quite a sight here, in front of my computer last night. I was very hot so I was only in my bra and knickers... *lol* Hands stretched up and living the music, playing imaginary drums and guitar, singing, and almost "dying from admiration and overwhelming ness"...

I worked out today as well, but since it was roasting I managed a disappointing 22 minutes. I couldn't take the heat any more. My sweat was running down my body and also stinging my eyes. So I stopped.

Stina phoned me today. Great talking to her. I love her. She is such a fantastic person, and trusts me and cares for me so much. She was at her mum's at Jørpeland.

I have played The Sims today, and also spent a few hours at home with my mum.

I have been trying to save money for the past few months, and I have managed to save 6700 kroner. (around like £ 580, and $ 1000). I don't get a lot of money every month, so I can't really understand that I've managed! I was going to buy a new mobile, but I've decided not to. I don't need it, so why waste money on it? I am going to save for a trip to my beloved Ireland instead. If I can lose more weight and be able to travel by plane next summer, I will visit my "family" there. Oooh, it would be lovely, so lovely to see them again. I feel very connected to Ireland, and in some ways I feel a bit Irish. Silly of course, but...

I am going to try not to mention Bob too much. My feelings haven't changed, and they probably won't for a while. So till you hear something else you might as well assume that I am still over the top interested in that wonderful man there... The thought of all that he is, had me in tears yesterday. I can't help it.

Monsoon - the healthy living wonderwoman -
*haha* I am smug I am.... :-) (no, not really...)

THE WHO

I am watching In the attic from Hyde Park, I think... *lol* Yeah it is, cause The Who is going to be live there tonight. I have bought myself a webcast ticket for the show, for a around a dollar. I can't wait for the show!!! God I love The Who so much!! And I adore Rachel as well. Her music is very different, but so beautiful and meaningful, to me at least. I relate to her lyrics in so many ways, and her voice is incredible!

Cool! Right now on In the Attic they're showing "Won't get fooled again" from a Who show a few days ago. Brilliant. Makes me even more excited for later on tonight. I only wish I could send an e-mail to Bob to tell him to buy a ticket for the webcast. But I can't....

I wish more and more people would turn into "In the Attic", because Rachel is seriously funny!! And Mikey is terrific as well.

I am just over the top excited about the concert tonight, and I am so happy that a live webcast make sit possible for fat, poor me to watch The Who "live".

By the way. New work out record today. 40 Minutes!!!! I am sooo fucking fabulous! *lol*

So greatful

Monsoon :-)

Love Bob

What a stressing day

Of course something had to go wrong...

Expecting the grades in the mail. Nothing came. I called the office which handles these things yesterday, cause I hadn't gotten it. To cut is short; I am pretty sure they never sent it to me... So I had to drive over 50 kilometres to Stavanger to get the paper myself today, then drive to my old "High school" to get them to make a new certification. More trouble; they didn't know what to do with it, because they use different certificates and codes now.

So I had to drive home, and wait and wait, sitting at home being scared stiff. They then called me and told me I could come and get it. They were still not sure it was correct, the way they had done it... SO MAD, and so frustrated. I just wanted to cry! Is my whole future at the University going to go down the drain because no one seems to know what the fuck they're doing? What's up with that? Why haven't anyone told me that it might not work out? That after a reform within the school system in 1994, all subjects are different, and can't be compared to the ones I had in 1993? Aaargghhh!!!!

I feel I have been sitting in a car the whole day. So at three I finally came home, and I just felt how wrecked and drained I was. Like I had no power in my body. I laid down on my bed and relaxed for half an hour. Lovely. I regained my strength. (but I am still nervous, what if my sertificate isn't approved!?!?)

And of course Argentina had to loose the penalty contest in the quarter final today. Which pissed me off! I think they were better than Germany throughout the whole game, almost, and had deserved to win. But, Italy beat Ukraine, and I am happy they went to the semi finals at least.

Enough football, I could go on for hours, but I won't bore you more than I already manage to. *lol*

I got a 5 on my math, by the way, which I am pleased with.

Also I have a new favourite The Who song. It is called "The seeker", and it's fecking great! I love the beat in it. Music, what would the world, or life, be without the pure joy it gives you? I am truly addicted to music, and my taste is versatile to say the least!!

Eva and I have had chinese today. Great food, and great evening with football and chatting. Eva is a fantastic girl! We've known each other for 29 years. I remember when we were small and Eva's family went on holiday; I would cry my eyes out both when she went, and when she came home. Missed her sooo much.

Tomorrow i am going to go shopping for a blind for my bedrrom window. The one I have now is ugly and useless. I need darkness, real darkness when I am sleeping, so I have to get new ones...

Well this was nothing more than a boring update from my boring life. My ordinary life...

Love and so on from Monsoon