Single white female seeking... Yes wha!?

In the last days I've been having a "Sex and the city" marathon. I borrowed the whole series on DVD from my sister in law. Somehow this is the first time I really get this series. Before, it was just an OK series, but now I actually adore it. It is a great show about true and lasting friendship between four quite different women, who despite their differences stick it out with each other. They're always trying their best at understanding each other. They love, fight, hate and argue, but make up. Needless to say, it is also about love, relationships and sex too. Which of course brought thoughts regarding my own apparent singleness. Do I like it or do I hate it? I think both. Sometimes I wish I had someone by my side to support me and stuff. And let's not forget; someone to have sex with! Man!! In that department single really sucks. Especially since I am not like the girls form "Sex and the city" who can have one night stands and more "loose/short-lived encounters". But then in the next minute I embrace the freedom that it is being single. No man clinging to the computer or watching 6 hours of sports every day, which makes me having to fight for some attention. Now I can do what I want, whenever I want. So why the fuck don't I do something exciting? I do the same things day in and day out. Eat, grocery shop, write, listen to music, sleep and spend some time with friends. Could it be less risky? I know I limit myself thoroughly because of the weight, but for goodness sake, this must stop! I will probably need some time. Another thing Sex and the city has brought me is the lust for a fag (cigarette). I quit cold turkey 6 years ago, and I haven't had one tiny taste of it since then, except the odd inhalation of smoke when someone standing close to me is smoking... I have to keep it that way, or I will definitely start for real again. I became addicted to smoke immediately when I started. I went from 0 to 10 in day. Smart move!

I have been insanely restless today. Like within myself, not outwards, the way I wrote about in my last post. I think things are changing, and it is scary. I am changing. My wants and hopes for the future changes. And, in all fairness, it can be a lot to deal with. I am not dark or anything, just a tad confused and weird.

Well, that's all. Just a tiny post. The snow is finally gone, and I have lost 32,5 kilos. 

Much love xxx

Winter, please no more!!

So it's been a while, hasn't it?! I am a bad blogger. I have been thinking about giving it up all together. I feel I don't have anything to say really. It is just all about me, and my not so exciting life. There's nothing fun, extraordinary or anything like that happening here. Everything is like it has "always" been, the only change is that I seemed to have lost my ability to be funny in any sort of way. Sad isn't it?! Anywhoooo... Over two months since my last entry, and since I am writing this I guess I made it through the surgery of January 5th. There were a complications during surgery due to my small intestine. It wasn't stretchable or movable at all. They operated for 3,5 hours, and it usually takes just 1 hour. The surgeon was deadly worried, and kept calling the ward all night from his home to hear how I was doing. Luckily I was all right. My throat has NEVER been drier mind you. It was drier than the Sahara desert, I am telling you. It was difficult to breathe! It was the worst thing about it. NO liquid for over two days for me, because I had to wait to do x-rays. Due to the complications. When I finally could drink I nearly cried. I can assure you water is my chosen drink these days. I LOVE it. Never underestimate what pain can do to change you... Some of you might want to hear if I have lost weight. Yes, I have. In total 30 kilos. ( 66,1 lbs) Which includes the tome after surgery and the diet I went on prior to the surgery. Since I came home, which is 9 weeks tomorrow, the weight have shed at a very slow phase, I think. I have lost around 11 kilos in those 9 weeks. Not a whole lot when I constantly read about post gastric bypass patients who lose 47 kilos in 12 weeks. I have felt very sad about it at times, plus stressed and frustrated too. Now though, I have decided to not give a fuck. Apparently this is the phase my body wants to lose weight, and so I have accepted it. I do everything I should, and I weigh and write down all food I eat. I follow the program 100 %, and so there isn't anything else I can do really. I take one kilo at a time, and set tiny goals. 200 grams more lost and I have met the next one. Yay.

I am extremely restless at the moment. Not within the flat and so, but outwards, like out of this country. I am constantly thinking about emigrating to another country. I know I can use my education as a social worker in other countries too, it is after all a Bachelor's degree. I just hate snow, and we've had snow now for three months straight. Tons of it, and with freezing temperatures too. I want a more mild climate, where an outdoorsy lifestyle is easier. Where people spend more time outside, socialising and such things, like on a normal basis. The best thing would be if I met someone who shared my dreams of emigrating. It would be easier with someone else there. I am not scared of doing things alone, but with making such a huge life decision it would be cool to have someone secure to turn to if things feel bad from time to time. You know what I mean!? Maybe I should go out of my way to find a friend/boy/girlfriend who wants to move. Yes. I have one friend who emigrated to the UK, London, like 4-5 years ago, and she does not regret. (from what I have understood at least) I have two countries I am considering, one English speaking and one Spanish... It certainly would be easier with the English speaking one, as I am somewhat fluent.

Here's some pictures of the hated snow. Some days made it impossible to drive! Argh!