If you're horny, you're horny, right!?

I had to laugh today when reading VG on the net. (VG is a Norwegian newspaper) On a flight from Bergen to Oslo a woman had seen a man at the back of the plane... Nothing odd about that, but; apparently he was wanking/jerking off/masturbating. Who does that in public? I mean, Ok, if you do get so insanely horny that you're about to explode, there is a toilet on the plane. But then again, maybe it was the fact that people could see him that turned him on? I don't know what he was thinking... *lol* You see I have never played with myself on a plane.
Here's a theory: Maybe he has seen too many porn movies where if a man is jerking off on a plane nobody seems to think that that's a weird thing to do. Instead the flight attendants smile at each other, lustfully, and soon they are showing him a jolly good time. Not only that, after a little while the whole bloody plane joins in on the "fun"... It could be such a scene he was fantasizing about as he was sitting there minding his own business...

Talking about doing that particular "business" in weird places. I remember seeing a website on the subject once. People wrote in and told about their weirdest place. Oh my God! Hilarious! I must say though, people are imaginative! So am I... I rest my case... *lol*

Didn't go to school today, cause I was getting a visitor. She is Eva's sister, and her name is Bente. We had a good talk, and I hope to see her soon. She is very nice! She actually went to the school I go to now, many years ago. And she still remembered her history teacher. No wonder; it's the same one I had last year, and he is a unique teacher.

Pounding headache. I worked out today as well, and it felt good afterwards. Feel bloated though, which is the worst thing. I can't stand it!! Yukky!

Dreading the Spanish exams next week. Heeelp! I am going to school tomorrow to study. I will have to practise on talking out loudly, cause that's what I have trouble doing. I get so nervous that my tongue curls up and falls asleep. My teacher said that if I mumble any norwegian words on my oral exam, he was going to kick me in the calf. So let's hope I will manage to stay clear of those pesky norwegian words, and pray that I will use only Spanish "small words"...

Ok, so now I will listen to music in bed, cause that helps when I'm a bit down in the dumps. Why am I dakrened out?!? Two keywords are; love, and also I am scared for my brother...

Hugs Monsoon :-) Who at least has worked out for 28 minutes today, which is a new record. (yes, while I have been obese needless to say... I used to be goalkeeper in handball, for many many years)

Stay well!

Some differences between men and women... I just found these kinda funny!

Children: A woman knows everything about her kids. Their dental appointments, romances, fears, hopes, dreams, bestfriends etc. Men are aware of the fact that there are some short persons in the house.

Eating out: If three guys are out; when the bill comes they all throw 10 pounds on the table. None of them have any change, and none of them will wait for the change. When women are out, and they get the bill; out comes the calculator...

Success: A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man...

Whoooo's happy?

I am. Are you shocked dearest? Yes, so am I.

Started the day with a good workout, followed by stretching, breakfast, and a shower. Oh, the joy of eating breakfast knowing you have done something great for yourself.
So from now on I will remember how content working out makes me. Then when I feel lazy and unmotivated one day, I will remind myself of the facts...

After getting myself all wet and slippery from the soap, I went up to my parents to check on the progress of their redecoration the living room. This is what it looked like.












How lovely. Eh... Yes those are my toes. Wearing socks in there wasn't a very good idea, and I was sitting in the sofa taking the picture with my mobile, so my toes sneaked in on the pic...

When they removed the carpet they found my drawings from back then. I had drawn in my own vey bad way, two houses, and written my name: Monsoon 9 years. Apparently I had forced my dad to draw as well, and then I had written his name and age over that... Also I have written my name 6 other places on the floorboards. I must have had a need to write back then as well. *lol* Especially my own name. Funny; I still do... I am such a scribbler you wouldn't believe it.

Eva is finally coming home today. She has been at her boyfriend's for almost a forthnight. I have missed her so much, and I am dreading the day she moves there for good. We have been friends for 29 years.

I think I am going to eat dinner now. I am hungry, and I can hear the taco tubs and the "taco mince meat" shouting for me from the fridge. besides, I am a bit boring today. But "feisty" and happy, and just wanting to dance at all times. I bet I'll be dancing with the fridge and the stove while making dinner too... Love dancing. And the song that I adore dancing to at the moment; Gnarls Barkley with "Crazy". Oooh, I just feel sexy while dancing to it...

Ok, shut up already!

Monsoon *dancing her way to the kitchen - woohoo - *

Could this be the new hairdo of "tomorrow" ?

It does look quite good on me, doesn't it? *lol*

So this is what I usually look after a long and hard workout session like today. I am all sweaty, and that's why I look like I've been electrocuted. (hence the killing hairdo...)

I keep bragging about myself because I am so darn proud. I never gave up believing that I could continue on my new path in life. And since I didn't, I can now feel the thrill and pride of being back on the right track. Yea!

So now it's breakfast time, then the shower will be getting a visitor.

I do have one person to thank for this. He is amazing, though no word would ever suffice to describe him. Love him.

Hugs from Monsoon "the bragging sweaty mad chick with the to-die-for hairdo"

At school

I am at school, and I am supposed to be studying Spanish.

Yesterday evening I was at a friends house. Nice evening. After being at her place I walked home, which is a good walk, well to me anyway.. I am very happy that I did! I feel things are loosing up inside me. I am more happy and content now than I have been since December. Those months after Dec have been brutal in many ways. Maybe it's because spring is in the air? Could be... Whatever the reason is; I am thrilled.

Today after school I am meeting at friend, Rønnaug, at Sandnes. It is the second biggest town in the area. Rønnaug lives and works there, and I am meeting her at the trainstation. She is off work today so... And yes, Rønnaug is pregnant! I am so happy for her and her man Tommy. He is Danish, but has settled down here to be with her. The baby is due in November. When she told me she was pregnant I started to cry. I was so moved by it. There is a special bond between the two of us, and she is like a sister to me. We've been through so much together. She was the one who went to Ireland with me the first year I lived there.

I will go back to my Spanish now.

Monsoon :-)

Later on.

Who didn't study a whole lot today? Me! Me! Instead I talked to Vegar for quite some time. I asked could I share his picture in here, and he said yes. It isn't very good, Vegar looks a bit red, and it's kinda tiny, as I took it with the camera on my mobile. But here it is.







Had good few hours with Rønnaug. It's always nice to be with her.

I am trying to save money and I give myself a certain amount of money every week, and so I couldn't "afford" Chinese today. It is the first time without on a Friday since July last year I think...

Ok, I am off to watch crime now... Inspector Barnaby. So, bye for the second time today. :-)

*HAPPY* And smiling because I thought about Bob...

Woo hoo!

I just had to share that I have lost more weight, FINALLY!!! One more kilo and I am down to under... Ok, I think I will keep that to myself. But it's like a milestone to me, a magic number, cause I haven't been under that in some years! I am so happy, and so proud. I will continue this for as long as it takes to make me normal again. (though I detest the term "normal"...)


















I had to share this very silly looking picture of me. This was my first time drinking alcohol. I was 18, and my friend Rønnaug was home alone. I desperately hope I was wearing that hat simply out of pure drunkenness, but who knows?! Was it maybe "arty" in 1992 to look like a cheap sailor? I can't remember... Anyways, do notice the extremely unintelligent look. And I think I am trying to smile, but apparently I wasn't very successful at it. In addition I am squinting. I love making fun of old pictures of myself, I have to say. No wonder I don't drink so much... When one looks like that after sniffing the cork, who would ever want to drink!!?! *lol*















This is a picture of, some of, my hall. You can a see tiny part of my livingroom as well, or at least the bookshelf...

I am going now.

Monsoon xxx

This made me laugh out loud

I visited this blog today. http://beautifuldayoutside.blogspot.com/ I visit it every day, because I like her writing. It belongs to Martha, who lives on Prince Edward Island in Charlottetown in Canada. Oh my God! Have you seen "Anne of Green Gables" and/or "The road to Avonlea"? Well the were both filmed on PE Island. It looks soo beautiful there that it looks unreal.

Marhta has a link to a page on her blog, and I thought it sounded interesting so I clicked it. It is a page about conversations overheard in New York. It's not only a web page, it's a book as well, and it's been in several newspapers over there. Well, I have to say it made me laugh. This first one I am going to "show" you had me in a loud laugh, and I laughed for five minutes. I don't know why, it was just one of those things I think... When I laugh like that tears run down my cheeks. Ok, here it is:

Woman: Are these Japanese dolls?
Employee: Yes.
Woman: Oh, are you Japanese?
Employee: No.
Woman: Are you sure?

--Union Square

Here's more.

Girl #1: Hey are you going to go see The Da Vinci Code?
Girl #2: Yes! My pastor said it was all right as long as I watched The Passion of the Christ right after.

--Midwood High School
Overheard by: the half Jewish kid in the corner


Girl #1: So the entire time I'm watching this movie, I'm like, what is the Holy Grail? They never explain what it is. And I'm thinking it's probably like, some kind of trophy or something...? Like maybe a fashion trophy...? Or something...?
Girl #2: Uh huh.
Girl #1: Yeah but no, it turns out it actually has to do with like, Jesus Christ and Mary Magdalene or something.
Girl #2: So it was like... Jesus's trophy?

--H&M dressing room, 5th Ave


Woman #1: So, you know Tanya...
Woman #2: Yeah, skinny little thing. What a waste of a fuck!

--58th & Madison Overheard by: Tom T


Woman: That movie's so stupid! They got King Kong and the dinosaurs fighting, even though they are from different centuries.

--Mama's Pizza, 106th & Amsterdam Overheard by: Kyle T


Teen girl: You know, I don't think I even believe in dinosaurs.

--Starbucks, Astor Place Overheard by: Paul

So this ws a bit of fun, for me at least. If you want to visit the page for even more, go to:
http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/


I am very happy with myself today. I came home wrecked from school. So incredibly tired. I have huge problems sleeping these days. Oh I wonder why? I am perfectly aware of what is causing this insomnia, and sadly I have to admit that it is Bob. Well, first I'll say this: Like I said I was wrecked, and after climbing the stairs I nearly fell to the ground from exhaustion. I said to my cat: For the love and honour of God, kill me, I am so fucking tired. I wanted nothing else than to lie down and just be... Instead I put on my workout clothes, and I worked out!!!! How great is that!?! I am so fucking proud of myself you have no idea! So here I am in front of my computer, and for the first time in a long time I am sitting down with a clear conscience.

Back to Bob... He has been very weird this week when I've seen him. I don't know what's up with that. I mean isn't it in the book of common politeness to at least smile when someone you know walks past where you are sitting? I don't mean every time like, but at least once... I don't know. But I feel like going up to him and just saying "hi", and smile and walk away. He would probably have me for a lunatic if I did. *lol* But the tragedy of it is that he still has my heart, in a big way. I have never felt like this before, never. It scares me, it really does. Even though I find it odd that he behaves like this I think I know why he does... He is married, and not interested, and so it can't be all easy having a huge woman drooling over you. *lol*

But these two last days I have felt kinda good, and I have worn a turquoise top, which I look terrific in. If I might say so myself... hihi... It's not often I feel great, and when I do one can really tell. I fix my hair, in a messy kind of way, I wear more than one earring, I wear bold (to me) colours, I put my make-up on thoroughly, and I wear a huge content smile on my face...

Ok, so I will leave you go now. I ahve a tendency to write too long entries in here. (And I also have a tendnecy to write have the wrong way, hence the previous sentence...)

Hugs - Monsoon - the fecking amazing workout lady - *lol* (ever heard of smug!?!?)

Big Brother and a bubonic plague

I have to say that I am no fan of reality TV. I think it's the worst kind of TV ever. It makes me angry that these shows even are sent on prime time television. Especially Big Brother. What is it with that show that captures thousands of people? I don't get it. Who wants to fill their minds with garbage? Apparently a shockingly high number of people. I have seen one whole episode of Big Brother, a few years back, because my girlfriend at the time wanted to see what all the fuss was about. We did not see it. We tried very hard, but all we saw was a bunch of girls and boys smoke, drink and get pissed, make out, having insanely boring conversations, showering, and eating. Yes, as exciting as that might sound; it wasn't.

This year in Norwegian/Swedish Big Brother a Swedish girl won. ( I just read it in an online newspaper) She is going to use some of her win to buy new boobs... Sigh...
The girls that were in the house this year all looked like your classic porn star, and from what I've learned their behaviour suited their appearance. Oh my God, I get so upset. Why would one want to be like that on TV? Why would anyone with some intelligence in their brain watch this fecking crap? Why would anyone make television of this? Why!?!?

Have been to school today. Good day, got loads done. Talked to a girl from my math class. She had mailed me yesterday to ask if she could borrow some of my history stuff. When I took history last year I wrote an outline of a lot of the themes we learned about. It was this she wanted to borrow from me. Well not all of them...

"Song is over" is one of my all time favourites by The Who. In the end, in my fav version, they start singing the lyrics from "Pure and easy" , and then those drums... It is just so wonderful that I want to scream out loud when listening to it. Boy do they know how to write music!! But it's a bit sad too. About The Who, I got something in the mail today, to my great surprise, but I will not reveal what it is. I am being secretive for once... I can say that it made me happy, and hopefully it will make someone else smile as well... It could also have the opposite affect, but then; fuck it. What can I do?

A couple of days ago I watched a program on Viasat history. (viasat is one of the suppliers of TV via a parabolic aerial, the other big one is canal digital. I have both...) It was a very good documentary on "The great plague" in London in 1665. Due to the new findings of writings of a very thorough clergyman, historians have been able to put together the story about some families that lived in "Cock and Key Alley". The story had me disgusted, and totally thrilled that I was not living in London at that time. Og dear lord. It was nothing short of vile and groase!! If someone in one house was affected, say the dad, he and the rest of his family would be shut inside their house and left on their own. The house was guarded by the watchman, who prevented anyone to make a run for it. Of course this way almost everyone was affected, and one believes that 100 000 people died. At night men with carriages went around shouting "bring out your dead". It must have been terror! Left to die... Chills... It was a very interesting program indeed!!



This "picture" shows the costume worn by plague doctors to protect against 'miasmas' of poisonous air




Enough jabber. I must be boring you.

Have a nice day all of you!

One more "tiny" comment: Bob is so sexy, and he kills me with all that he is. Aaarrghhh!!!!

Monsoon xxx

Vegar

Vegar is one of my best friends at school, and he has once again managed to cheer me up. I came to school today at around ten, and the first thing I see is his smiling face, a face which shows he cares about me. It was so good to see. Then the receptionist started talking to me, and she had me in a laugh as well. She and I have talked a whole lot since she started here, and I will miss her when I leave this school. I will miss a lot about this school.

I studied for about an hour, and then I went into the room where Vegar is sitting, and we've had a nice chat. I am still at school, and so I will go back to my studying.

Just had to say that I am feeling better today.

Love Monsoon :-)

I think this is cruel!

I've had a good week, but due to my bleeding annoying strong PMS the weekend has been quite crappy. I cry too easily when suffering from PMS, and I hate it. Makes me so vulnerable and weak in a way. Yuk! So an incident today had me shocked, saddened and yes, pondering upon the fact why some poeple are cruel...

I drove up to the local kiosk, where I actually worked for 3,5 years when I was younger, whilst going to school. I had to renew my monthly pre-paid ticket for the train. When I came out of the kiosk, I noticed 5 young men outside, and as I walked by them one of them said: "oooh groase, look at that disgusting and ugly fat chick there, she gives me the chills". I was totally flabbergasted and replied: Shut the f... up, and got into the car. I drove away, and I honestly could not hold the tears back. They just kept coming, unwanted as they were. I was going home to deliver the car to my parents, and I went into my brother. He held me and consoled me. I know it's very silly of me to react this way, but it's never nice to hear that you're ugly. Not when you're so hung up on the way you look, and totally aware of that you're not looking your best, being fat and all. But most of the time I am able to forget that I am fat, and just focus on the fact that I am a nice and charming girl. (well, that's what people who are nice say at least...)

Sometimes I really detest other people. What makes them think that anything in this world gives them the right to be cruel, in their ways and comments, to others? I never get this.

So here I am, tired, sick and tired of being fat. I HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why the fuck have I done this to myself? No use in asking the question. There are too many answers, uncountables!

But I am different now, and I am doing something about it. I should be happy for that at least.

Sorry, I have only complained today... just one of those days, right?! But I am not all darkened out. I am happy too, and thankful for many things.

Bob. What more is there to say? Nothing it's all been said at some point I guess.

I am going to brush my teeth, take my vitamins, and go to bed. And I will do so with a smile, not caring about the young man/boy with the foul mouth.

Hugs Monsoon

Norway's National Day

HAPPY NATIONAL DAY !!

Today we celebrate Norway's National Day. On this very day in 1814 we got our own constitution. We had been ruled by Denmark since 1380, so it was about time we got rid of them. But everything wasn't totally "perfect". You see we then entered into a union with Sweden, that would last until 1905. But this was quite an unrestricted union, compared to the unions of today, for instance the EU. Both countries were independent, we had our own government and our own constitution, but we had a Swedish King, and the Minister of Foreign Affairs was also Swedish.

Anyways... Probably not very interesting to you all... But to us it is a very significant day, perhaps the most important day in our history. I believe it is...

We celebrate it by walking in processions (parades!?), where children go with their classes at school, and also grown-ups attend it. We wave our flags and cheer "hurrah hurrah". School bands walk as well, in front of the school they belong to. For those in Oslo, they walk past the castle where out Royal Family lives. The King and Queen stand on a balcony waving at their people. Here is a picture from the main street in Oslo, called Carl Johan's gate. You can see the castle in the back. In Oslo 107 schools attend the parade, and it takes hours to finish. The procession is just full of happy people, nicely dressed up. Every darn year when they sing our National anthem, I weep. I can't help it. I just get so touched by things like that...

















Have a nice day all Norwegians, wherever you might be.

"Ja vi elsker dette landet"

Hugs from Monsoon :-)

Cars, The Sims, and some more crap...

A few days since my last entry. Bet you were all thinking; “Oh God I’m so glad she was able to shut her hole for a few days”. *lol*

But sadly for those of you who thought that; I am now back, as you presumably have noticed.

Today has been a very lazy day, indeed. Got up late, started my computer, and played Sims. Eva has been over here, after she left I played some more Sims, and then I went up to check on my parents. They are doing much better, “better by the day”, as my dad said. Thanks be to God. They have to buy a new car, and are thinking of buying a BMW. Please! I love BMW's. Have always been my favourite car, no doubt. Mum's too. A "BMW 521i" is stunning, truly! Just look at this specimen, it's like a panther waiting to attack...

I have played The Sims today. The last time I did so was at least 1,5 years ago. So then, when Eva told me she had played, I got the urge myself. I built this gorgeous house for one couple. Well, I love it anyways. It is so much fun building and decorating. I know it is very childish, but I don’t care what you think. Honestly. I am a very playful person, in everyday life, in bed, when being with kids, and when being alone. It makes me happy. However, I am not one of those who are unable to be serious. I can be dead serious, a lot! That’s why I love playful moments; they cheer me up non-stop!

I am finally into my healthy living again, after a too long, “I will eat till I explode break”. I have a goal to lose 7 kilos (15,4 pounds) before I start university in August. I should be able to, and since I've said it in here; I simply must!! I weighed me today, and I am telling you; sweat was running as I was dreading the result. But I was pleasantly surprised. I was only 2 pounds more. Which isn’t a lot since that extra weight is due to my period, or lack of it… So, woo hoo! Happy girl over here in Norway.

However, I was not so happy Saturday morning. I went to bed Friday night with a happy smile on my face, after having a nice evening with Eva. We had had Chinese, and talked and listened to music. Went to bed well knowing I wouldn’t be awoken at a unholy hour… Lovely.

But then at 7 on Saturday morning, an enormously loud sound awoke me, and then the FECKING excavator started its engine. I won’t quote myself, as the words were like a sailor’s… But I got so mad that I bet flames were coming out of my ears. Shira almost jumped through the door in fear, and started to hiss at the front door. To my huge relieve the bleedin’ thing was gone after 15 minutes, and I could return to my beauty sleep. I told you how I desperately need my beauty sleep. I can really notice that I am not 20 anymore. Lines and wrinkles are appearing under my eyes. I have found it best to avoid the mirror early in the morning, but how will I then put my make-up on? I am of course exaggerating ever so slightly. Here is my view by the way... Isn’t it a sight for sore eyes?

Maybe I will go to bed now. Early for once.
Hugs from Monsoon

Ps. I am unfortunately still immensely in love with Bob

Good day... actually.

My family certainly is a bit weird sometimes. For instance, at home at my parents we each have one specific dinner plate. It’s been like that since I was very young. Here is the proof:
















As you can see they are neither pretty nor matching, like in most households… That is probably because we are not a normal household. We are kinda odd at times, but I like it that way. The one with the blue man on is mine, the horribly flowery one is mum’s, the sailboat one my brother’s, and the last one is dad’s. My ex got her own when she came into the family, and of course, it was different from the rest. I dislike it if I have to eat dinner without my own plate. *lol*. Needless to say; we have always had our permanent seats as well, both in the kitchen and the living room. If I should sit down in mum’s chair, it’s like a whole new world. The living room looks completely different from there, I am not joking you.
Strange isn’t it, what different families do. The system that exists and works for us, would never survive one week in a another family.*lol*

Here is something weirder: Swedish “dance bands”, looking all tragically hilarious. Not only do I find such music to be NOT music, but in addition, they are also sounding so terrible that I want to rip out my ears to be relieved from the pain. But looking at these pictures I would have to scratch out my eyes too, because; well look at them… For the love and honour of God, what the hell were they thinking? “Look at us, aren’t we the sexy ones”.

















Santas helpers, or maybe a group of elves? I don't know. You figure it out. I hope they sued their tailor/designer after this shot was taken. They must have realized how un-fucking-believably ugly they looked? Or maybe not, they look quite happy sitting their in their hot pink shirts, don't they.

What is up with the hairdo on this one? The one in the middle obviously trying to hide some weird orange coloured baldness. Not very successful at it though, one might add... Those trousers are so hot, wow.

My dad is on a sick-leave so when I got home from school today I could pick up the car I borrow. Which is the one that isn't a total wreck from being crashed into. I drove to a friend of mine, Eva, and I noticed that I was acting particularly observant today. Looking in the mirrors at all times, and more. I guess it's only normal behaviour after what happened Sunday.

I saw Bob today. My heart popped out of my body for a few seconds, I swear it did. He is just so hot, and he affects me in the biggest way. For the love and honour of God, why is he so fantastic, and yet so annoyingly unattainable?!? BOLLIX!!!

It's past midnight now, just, so I think I'll go to bed. I most definitely need my beauty sleep. In fact I perhaps need to sleep all day long, seeing I have the looks that I have... God! For the past 5 weeks I have gotten very little sleep, due to the road work just outside my bedroom. The black marks and bags under my eyes have grown for each week, and still I never learn to go to bed early. But you see; I look so hot that I think I will try to hold on to this "wreck look". Isn't it very "in" to look like that?

Hugs Monsoon xxx

Life is quiet

Sigh, sigh, sigh, and then some...

Still feeling exceedingly happy by the fact that my parents are fine. Some of what happened:

My dad called me on my mobile saying in his subtle way: We've crashed a little bit, could you come down to the turn-off to Vigrestad". Ok I said, and drove down with my brother. We thought they would be standing there writing out an accident report, but as we got close we saw three ambulances, police, firemen, and more. My heart almost stopped, I'm telling you. What the fuck, I said to my brother, and I could see he was all pale looking... We drove up and parked and got out of the car. "Where is mum, where is mum", I said. She is over there on the stretcher, Tor Egil said. I nearly fainted. Mum was lying there in shock, pale, weak, and vulnerable looking, with all this gear on her. She stretched out her hand to me and I grabbed it, telling her she would be ok. She said repeatedly: "Eilen, you have to take care of Egil (dad), someone has to mind him as well, the crazy man is walking around here... " Then they took them away. I was petrified. All shook up, drove home and tried to get a hold of someone. I needed to talk to someone. Crying my eyes out, partly in shock, shaking... I also rang relatives.
Tor Egil came down to my flat, and we talked and waited... Luckily the news were good when at last they came. They were so lucky! Poor dad, he had seen the car coming, and yelled out "Turid!", and tried to protect her (mum that is...) They were standing still, waiting to cross the road, when the car came from behind, and for some very odd reason, didn't see the car "parked", and hit it at around 85 km/h, which is about 54 miles/h.

It is another gorgeous and stunning day here. Warm, really warm, I am practically wearing nothing...

I am now going to go out on the balcony with a glass of Tab and "The historian", which is a book. Enjoying the early evening temperature out there.
Didn't go to school today. Had karin over yesterday, and we asked each other "trivia questions" until 2.30. So then when the bleedin workers woke me at 7 this morning; I guess you could say I was neither feeling happy nor rested. Therefore I decided not to go to school. Wouldn't have been able to learn anything anyway.

Yesterday Ingvild called me. She moved to the love of her life; London, last year. We hadn't talked to each other since before she moved. I got to know her through the internet in early 1998. For some time she lived in the same house as I did, in Oslo. Great girl, and she is very funny. Totally into movies!! It was very good to talk to her, it had been way too long since the last chat.

Very eager to ear how things went for Elise at her written Spanish exam today. Hope it went terrific!!!!

Ok, I'm going ( I am thinking about Bob at all times, still...)

Monsoon xxx

Crying

My parents were in a car accident. A car hit then from behind. Their car was totally smashed in the rear. TERRIBLE to see my mum lying there, being carried into the ambulance... The same with my dad, he was in shock and talked "crazy", but he could walk at least. He too went away with an ambulance.

I hope they will be ok. At least it didn't look life treathening.

Please God!

UPDATE!

They are fine!! Angels must have been watching over them I think. My brother was supposed to have been with them in the car, but luckily he got a lift with our cousin. If he had been in the backseat... The rear was, like I said, totally smashed, so... I am just so gratful that they are somewhat ok. Bruised, shook-up, neckpains and aching bodies, but that's nothing compared to what could have been.

Thank you so much to all of you who have sent me your prayers and love, in here, in Rachel's blog, by e-mail and sms! That meant a lot to me. Who says there isn't love and care in the world?

I am just so relieved. *huge sigh*. Those waiting hours last night, to hear some news, they were like 1000 hours.

Monsoon

Beautiful day, and beautiful mind

SUMMER WEATHER!! :-)

Yes, it's such a gorgeous day today. Blue sky and no clouds, but as usual at Vigrestad; there is a wind, but according to me that's just refreshing ...

I just sat out on my balcony to get a bit of sun on my body. It does one good to get some "sunny vitamins", after that long cold winter we had. Don't dare to sit too long in the sun though. My skin isn't used to it yet. Spring is just started. In addition I am one of those persons who takes care of her skin. So, I don't fry myself all day long sunbathing, and when I do sit outside; sunblock all the way. Here's why:

- Too tanned faces are kinda ugly. (if you are caucasian that is of course)
- I don't want to get sun burnt because it's not good for your skin.
- I don't want my face to look like a old dried up prune at 40.
- I have respect for the damage too much sun can do to ones skin/body (cancer etc)

Also my skin is that type that is quite fair and freckled (my face and some of my arms that is) so I don't get all that tanned. If I just as much as look out the window my freckels pop out. I don't mind. It's cute. I used to hate them, but I mean what can you do?They're there aren't they?!? And like in men I do fancy those who are fair skinned just like me. Bob has freckles on his hands. I like them... Oh darn, oh darn is he handsome. YES!!!

I am not a total maniac though, I do go out in the summer *lol*

Tonight I am going to Karin. She is going to make homemade pizza. Yummy! I love pizza, and Italian food in general. Must go to Italy some time. I have never been there. But I do adore Mexican and Chinese food as well. I am a sucker for HOT food which makes me sweat while I eat it. Garlic is also great in food, but the drawback is the "killing breath" it leaves you with. But it's ok for me, I am single anyway aren't I? But seeing I am so sexy, charming and attractive I probably won't stay single for long, eh? Yes, I truly believe that. My ex is getting married this summer. Weird. The next time I see her she is married to someone else, while my finger still has a mark from our engagement ring. Jaysis!

Finally I was able to sleep longer than 8. I slept until 11, and that was fucking great! Just as I woke up I got an SMS from Karin asking if she could come over in about an hour. When she came I hadn't even brushed my hair yet, so I looked a bit scary I guess. I had turned on the computer, and got stuck answering a man who had left me a message at Gaysir. He is a man who likes to dress up in womens clothing, and who is struggling with it. I try to help him, and apprently I have helped him already. I'm glad. Feel sorry for him, as he has no one he can talk to this about.

There are so many people out there living lives that they aren't true about, for some reason. They don't dare to be honest, there's too much at stake perhaps, or they just don't have anyone whom they can trust. I am so glad I can live my life, and be true to both myself, friends and family. You know being bisexual and all...
Even though it's difficult at times, as we experience prejudice from both the straight and gay communities. For some reason they think that being bisexual is the same as wanting/needing to be with both sexes at the same time, unable to be in a monogamous relationship. This is so not true! And to be honest I am sick of explaining myself, and standing up for myself for this.
I am just as committed as anyone else, and when I am with a woman I don't fancy or need to be with men, or vice versa. I am not more predisposed to be unfaithful than your average gay/straight person. The only difference between me and the rest of you is that I am able to form a loving lasting relationship with both women and men. That's it. Nothing more, nothing less. It's not one HUGE SEX FEST, or SEXORAMA where I fuck everything that moves. It's not only about the sex. A relationship is much more than that. But I am not going to deny the fact that I like sex. But that has to do with my personality, not my sexual predilection. But I like it within a relationship, not outside. I am not one for one-nightstands. I don't mind others having it, but it's not for me...

I can feel it's spring, most definitely. It's like ones body awakens after a coma, ready to live. At times like this it sucks to be single, and even more so when I totally adore Bob whom I can't have. I notice that I feel even more attracted to him now, and he works like a magnet on me. My body is literally being pulled towards him. *lol* No wonder as yummy as he is. I have never been this drawn to anyone in my whole life, and sometimes I pinch myself to see that what I am feeling for him is real. It's so much, and so strong. And so annoying too!

But I will get over him, eventually, and then... I have to take care of myself first, and become more healthy, then I will be ready to meet someone even better. (I so don't believe this right now. How can someone be better than him?!?)

For now, enjoy the lovely weather and be good to people!!

Hugs from a freckled Monsoon :-)

Ps

Had to enclose a picture of this talented and sooooo gorgeous girl.
She is an English actress, her name is Romola Garai, and she is 24 years.
Has played din BBC's "Daniel Deronda", Dirty Dancing 2, Vanity Fair, to mention some.

She has something about her.

Ooooh, wow, what a lie-in, my arse! At exactly 07.26, like every morning, the excavator started it's engine and woke me up in a blink. The sound is too loud for my sensitive ears in the morning. I was able t get a little bit more sleep, but at 8.30 I gave up. Felt like opening the window and shouting to them: "People are sleeping here, do you mind?".

So now I am going to go to mum's to see if she's home. Not going to school today, or tomorrow. Need a few days off. But next week it's back to reality.

Just had to get tell you about my "lovely lie-in"... hahah!!

Monsoon

Al final, soy terminada con mi examen en matemática

I am done! So so happy that I am finished with my math exam. I think it went well, to be honest. Thanks be to God! I dare to say that I think I nailed the 5'er. Woohoo!!

I didn't sleep a wink last night, well I think I got about 1,5 hours. When I woke up at 5.45 this morning I got up, and walked straight on the wall. Too tired for words! *lol* During the trip in to Stavanger, on the train, I had to keep pinching my thighs to stay awake. Have to say I was worried that I would be too tired to be able to concentrate. But, it got better. The only symptom of my sleep deprivation has been my ability to speak. I have said the wrong things like a million times today. First I said: "I am going to turn off my Stavanger now". Silly, when I meant my mobile. Fell asleep at the train going home. Can't remember stopping at Sandnes, but I do remember stopping at Varhaug, which is a good 20 minutes from Sandnes.

Ate horrible dinner when I came home. I had certainly deserved a great dinner, right? Unfortunately I don't have servants... *lol* But I was too tired, had headache, hip was tormenting me from the sitting today, and so I just threw some frozen mixed food in the pan, and cooked it. It tasted vile! Had I had a car I would have driven to Nærbø¸ to buy Chinese. Haha! That wouldn't have helped, as I just remembered that they are closed on Wednesdays.

In the Attic was incredible today. I think it's the best one I have seen. They played this recorded song by Simon Townshend, and it was really good. He has such a fantastic voice!
I am so glad I discovered this show, with it's fucking fabulous hostess with the mostess; Rachel Fuller. Can't wait for her EP to come out.

I have to go to bed now, I think. But I have a few things I need to do first, so I will end this oh so exciting entry.

I am going to have a lie-in tomorrow, if I am able to. You see there are people working on the road just outside my bedroom window. They are digging on/in the road to lay down some pipes and stuff. It takes forever, and I am so sick and tired of it. They make loud noise, plus they are in the way. Be done already!

I am going to dream about Bob, I have already decided, so I will hear nothing more on the matter, ok?!

Love - Monsoon xxx and some yyyy

Big scary day tomorrow!

HEEELP!!!

Final exam in mathematics tomorrow. Dreading it, me? No... Not at all. Kidding! I find it very vexing to be honest. I feel like running away and hiding, but there's no use in that, so I will have to stick it out. God! My stomach hurts. What if I sit there tomorrow and my mind goes blank? What will I do? I think I will have to tell myself that it's ok. I don't have to ace it, I don't have to get a 5 either. So what if I don't... I know that I have reached a level in math I never thought possible, so I am proud of myself no matter what. I have worked hard, throughout the whole year, or should I say 7 months, so I am sure I will be fine.

I hate spiders. They disgust me nonstop with their creepy way of behaving. They run so fast, eeek! I was lying on my sofa watching TV one night, and suddenly I noticed something huge and black on the wall. Was it a rat? A mouse? Oh no, it was a buggery bollix spider! I said out loud; "sooo... you're standing there are you, I am afraid I'm going to have to kill you"... Typical of me to talk to the spider, I think I do it to calm me down. I went out and got a shoe and I squeezed the huge bastard. Double and triple yuk! The sound it made... crunching... Shivers down my spine for sure! Spiders are the only insects and creepy thingys that I am afraid of. Rodents like rats, mice, gerbils, whatever, I don't mind them at all. In fact I find them cute. Used to have gerbils, named Athina, Britt, Edina and Patsy. Too cute for words.

I miss him. So much that I can feel it in my whole body and mind. I need him. But enough about that.

Thank you so much to you who left comments on my "dark blog entry" from a few days ago. It's nice to get uplifted!! And I know that it will turn around, some day. It's just such a sorrow right now, I can't help it!

I had Malin on a visit today. I started to "mind" her in 1997, and when I moved to Oslo my mum took over as her minder once a week. We mind her because her dad is a lone parent, so he needs some relief. So I've known her for 9 years, and she is 12 now. Great and beautiful girl. She comes down to me every Tuesday as my mum cooks dinner. We talk, play "The Sims" on the computer, and just enjoy being together. This is Malin when she was 11. Took the picture with my mobile phone, so the quality isn't the best...





I think my mind is too busy to find anything interesting to write about, so I will leave you go until tomorrow. I hope I will be able to bring fabulous news!

Love and hugs from Monsoon ;-)

Mood, such a complex thing

I have been in a better mood today, a bit at least. Probably because I have surrounded myself with people. I was at my parents first, then Eva's, and I just came home from Karin now. My parents are going to redecorate their living room. About fecking time, if you ask me. The carpet has been begging to be replaced since the Middle Ages, and needless to say; time has taken its toll on it. I have been suggesting nice colours to paint the walls today. To my big surprise my mum weren't alien from my ideas. But the curtains are staying. The queen has spoken... "The day I find curtians that I love, I will replace the ones we have, not before, so stop nagging me." - quote mum. She barely dares to clean them, she is afraid they will be too fragile to endure the trip in the washingmachine. *laughing* Mum is one strange, stubborn and difficult lady sometimes. Hmm... Am I just like her I wonder!? No, not in that particular way, because I am not conservative. She doesn't have a dishwasher, can't stand computers and refuses to learn how to use them, and we were the last ones to get a microwave.

Tomorrow I will be totally stressed out. I will be languishing while yearning to eat sweets. I am like a drug addict, I really am. I get headaches and I become extremely irate. But I will have to live through it, in order to bring myself into the right track again. Nothing good comes from eating sweets. It doesn't do me any good, only more pain. My face becomes spotty and bloated, and my body swollen. I know that this time won't be as hard as before, because I haven't sunk nearly as deep as I used to, thanks be to God! Plus, I haven't gained weight either. Puh!

Getting in tune... Fantastic song! Just had to say, because it was playing on my Windows media player just now...

One more, rainy, day, (great song as well actually...) and then it's final exam. Oh, I am not nervous at all. Nooooooh.... I am cool, have everything under control and feel on top of the world. Yup, that's me!

Yuk, Shira jumped onto my "boob-area", and left a snail there. She has a gift that cat, you know to bring me small little treasures like that snail. It's probably her way of saying she loves me, seeing she can't talk...

I don’t want to, anymore


How long is this going to be?
This state of mind, this absence
How did it start, yes; how? how?
On a winter morning, when I first saw you
A revolution, I will never forget

I see you, my heart crumbles
I long for you, I need you,
But I don’t want to love you any more

How ardently I adore you
Your passion, all that is you, always,
When you are around, I see you
No escaping the intensity in those brown eyes
Such a revolution, every time

I see you, my heart crumbles
I long for you, I need you,
But I don’t want to love you any more

How your presence strengthens me
and yet also shatters me
Your words make me wiser, I want to learn
How you give me nothing and yet everything
There is no reality, there is no you and me

How one look can suffice, and create certainty
Through you, I see life
No words needed, I understand anyway
How can I go on searching for it?
When you have showed me perfection

I see you, my heart crumbles
I long for you, I need you
But I don’t want to love you any more


I am now going to sit back and listen to The Who loudly, play imaginary drums, guitar and base, and sing. Love it! *lol* I love the fact that Bob also likes them, with a passion I'm sure. But at the same time it's a bit annoying because every time I hear The Who I think about him, and probably will continue to do so after I am supposed to get over him... Ah well...

I am a bit more content now. After seeing the news, and seeing and hearing about the situation in Darfur I should be ashamed of myself for complaining about my situation. It's almost incomprehensible, too much to take in without going crazy and numb... Terrible, terrible...

Hugs from Monsoon ;-)