Two of my best friends celebrate their birthday today:

Helene her 31st!

Janne her 32nd, so HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

And I have to admit, one extra large HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the best man I have ever met; Bob! He is 51 today! Gotta love him, gorgeous lovely being!

That's all right now, as it is 1.30 at night.

Monsoon

Over, is it?

Christmas is over, and it’s a bit sad. It’s like I said when we just finished eating our divine dinner on Christmas Eve; “Oh no, it’s over. Now we have to wait another year to eat this. It’s over way too fast. Can’t we sit down once more?” But perhaps that’s just the “food-o-holic” in me talking? I love food. And sweets. And crisps. And ice-cream, let’s not forget ice-cream. Yup, that’s my number one love, within the eating department. Especially my cousin’s ice-cream. To fecking die for, I am not joking you! Wish I could send samples around the world. As the kids said in Ireland: “Yummy big bummy” *lol*

Vegar is beeping me on Msn, hold on.

1, 5 hours later, and it’s now 23.30. Tomorrow we are all going to meet at Helene’s for some food and talking. The girls and some of the men too. I hope it’ll be nice. I am sure it will. I saw both Helene and Janne for the first time over Christmas today. Lovely to see them both. Helene who is newly engaged and all… I am so happy for her. I remember the first year we shared the flat. We spent many a night “sobbing”, but we did so in a humorous way. We so wanted someone special in our lives, and felt that we had so much to give, and yet no one to give it too. Hehe… “For the times they are a-changing…”

I have ordered some new stuff for my computer. (I looove upgrading, and I wish I could spend a lot more on it.) I bought memory, 1024Mb, and a Windows XP OS (operating system), with an almost free upgrade to Vista. Rumour has it that Vista is being released around spring. It’ll be interesting to see what new features have been put in. Also to see if the security level has improved, to prevent all the bad guys entering. I don’t know what I’d do without Lavasoft’s ad-aware. It sure removes a whole lot of stuff like spy ware, which slows down the computer. I remember when XP came. It was a revolution! The Millennium was the crappiest version ever. It was a shame, it really was. God, I am such a geek sometimes! Hihi!!

Well, now its midnight and I have other plans ;-)

Indeed, history is nothing more than a tableau of crimes and misfortunes.
- Voltaire

So take care, be a bit naughty, but be good too!

Love and hugs Monsoon

Gosh I wish “someone” was here now. I am sure we’d have a good time.

Hello

Hi! Just a quickie. I am a bit tired from all the socializing in the past three days. I've had a great time! Fantastic dinners, terrific company in family and friends. Though, I did think... No forget it. I'll keep that one to myself.

But, before I go I want to remember those affected, in any way, by the tsunami two years ago. You are in our thoughts. I do know that horror happens every day many many places around the world, and those are no less of a tragedy. But somehow this tragedy struck me in a special way. Probably many reasons for that.

Now I am going, and I need something relaxing. I kinda know just the thing.

I hope all of you had a fabulous celebration in all your different ways.

Hugs!

Monsoon

Bob!!!!!

MERRY
CHRISTMAS
TO ALL
MY FRIENDS
OUT THERE!

You are all very special to me, so take
care of yourself and those around you!

Lots of Christmassy love from Monsoon

And one special greeting to someone very special...

Christmas gone bad, for someone apparently

Do you think there is a slight possibility that these families overdid it on the lights? I am sure the amount of electricity used here could give heat to a whole village. Is there actually a house in the first picture!?

TACKY TACKY TACKY!!! Yuuuk!


I am sure Jesus would appreciate the fact that he now comes in an inflatable version as well.


Yes, Santa is an eager golfer, I am sure of it!

What's up duuude? Oh, it's only Santa out on his Harley is it? Give me an effen break!


Merry ugly X-mas to you too, eh!?! Amazing what people are willing to buy and use as decorations. Blows me away!!

If you too want to have a good laugh, followed by a puking session, search the net with these keywords: -christmas decorations- and see what horror can be found...

I am now going to my parents, because in Norway it is the night before the night, and we are going to watch this silly old film called "grevinnen og hovmesteren". (short film based on a British play called "Dinner for one") My dad laughs his head off every year, and I laugh at him.

Monsoon ;-)

Two days to go

Christmas is all around… Soon. I don’t really feel all the Christmassy feelings I wish I had, but then; hopefully it will all come to me on the 24th, watching Disney Christmas cartoons and the Czech Cinderella. Yes, like I said before, I do need the childhood stuff to really feel it.
It is always also a time for considering what I have and how to get what I want in my life. In addition a time to think about those who aren’t happy around this time. Many reasons can contribute to that. To be honest I am somewhat “there” myself. Not in the strongest sense, but still… don’t like it though. I think many people experience this. Like you feel every Christmas and New Year is the beginning of something new, with room for hopes, dreams and resolutions to change what we don’t like about our lives.
Boy do I have many aspects I’d die to change. All in due time, that’s all I will say.

Irene came home yesterday, as she is celebrating Christmas with her parents. Her husband is joining her later. She called to me, and we had a fabulous night with chatting and laughs. It was so nice to see her. Tonight Agnete is coming, and I can’t wait to see her. She lives in Oslo, so like so many of my friends; I don’t get to see her that often. I wish more of them lived closer to me. Especially since my best Eva is also moving next year. However; Helene for instance, couldn’t really move here. Being an opera singer kinda requires living somewhere with an opera.

I just have to address one thing that annoys the heck out of me with commercials on TV. I am over-sick by the line every bloody day cream, shampoo, and mascara etc. use. Namely this: “Because you’re worth it” Do they think we’re all gonna “wake up” and run out of the house claiming out rights and screaming – “but I am worth it!!” Do they think they can enhance self confidence this way, or even self worth? No, you don’t! Just because Penelope Cruz says she, and I, are worth it, I don’t believe so. Argh! I don’t know why, but I am just fed up with the whole thing. So shut up!! I won’t ever buy those things, just to spite you. But then that sort of “stubbornness” is typical of me. Like this so-called trend started seemingly by our Crown Princess Mette-Marit. She tied her scarf in a special way, and soon every person of the female gender, wore their scarves like that, be it winter or accessorize scarves. So then, of course I would SO NOT wear mine like that. Why should I have any desire to be just like everybody else? I am after all not everybody else, I am me. Nothing more, but I think it’s enough. *lol*

Monsoon

Bob - The season makes me think even more about him. Bah!

Ugly decorations

Last week mum and I went shopping at a toy store called extra toys which lies beside IKEA. After finishing the gift shopping we therefore went into IKEA as well. You know, to see if they had any nice Christmassy things. They did have some, but when I caught a glimpse of one of the things I lost the ability to move, that is how painfully ugly it was. I swear my eyes started to sting and tears were running… Christmas isn’t supposed to be glittery in a vulgar way, but let me know what you think. Unfortunately the picture makes it look better than I reality. However, without further ado, let me introduce you to the ugliest tree decorations ever to face the earth:

Chills… Stina, whom I visited today, had gotten one of these for her birthday ion November, just for fun. Her friend had seen it at IKEA and just had to buy them, to see Stina’s reaction. *lol* Funny! I bet she was thrilled!!

I had a fantastic time with Stina today. She kissed me like there was no tomorrow when I came, and she said it was sooo lovely to see me. Well; likewise I say. She is such a fantastic person, and we have a lot of things in common. We share a passion for music and history, and we like to discuss current affairs. I am extremely appreciative of the fact that Stina came into my life, almost two years ago. Thanks to Sonans. (The school I went to)

This is her.

I am looking forward to the 24^th. Presents and wonderful delightful food. We eat “pinnekjøtt” prepared in a special family traditional way, which began many decades ago. I think it was my great great great grandmother who started it. Usually people only cook/boil the lamb ribs, but in our family we cook them in the oven for nearly 3 hours instead. It gives the meat a very purple colour, and it gets so tender it almost falls off the bones. I don’t even like boiled “pinnekjøtt”, so that proves that our way is quite different tasting. *mouth getting all slobbery and watery merely thinking of it* Wonder what Bob eats for Christmas? Hmm…

And let’s not forget; the Czech film about Cinderella, called “Tri orisky pro Popelku”. Every year it airs, I have to see it. To me; there just won’t be Christmas without it. Childish perhaps, but frankly who gives a shite!? I know I don’t! Here’s a picture of her and her prince. Man is she gorgeous!! I will, somehow unwilling, admit that my eyes fill up every year as they ride off on each white horse… The saddest song ever is being played, so no wonder! *lol* I am tragic, aren’t I!?

Enough blabber!!

Monsoon

Bob…

Time off, and all is good

It is nice with some days off. That way I can indulge in my favourite thing; namely to stay up indecently late and sleep until I wake up. How wonderful that is! I never sleep very late. So I won’t sleep my holidays away. Haven’t done anything today. Really, nothing. Let’s review: Got up, turned on computer wearing nothing. (I don’t know what it is; I simply must do that first thing…) Talked for 3 hours on the phone. First my good friend Mette phoned me. She lives in Oslo, and it was fabulous, as ever, to talk to her. She lives with her girlfriend Malene. I’ve known Mette since 2001. We met through a gay “meeting place” on the net called radiator. Then Beate called too, which resulted in another 1, 5 hours on the phone. After that I have groomed Shira, my cat, watched TV, eaten dinner, listened to music, chatted with Eva, talked to mum on the phone, and read my beloved history magazine. That’s it. How evolving! But it’s great with some days like that once in a while. Mindless “non-brainy” days. Lovely! *lol* At least one can find one truth about me: I am very able to relax, big time! An important and needed quality.

Oh yum… I am listening to a very good Waters song, called running shoes. Very sexy indeed… there’s this very hot moaning in it. Don’t know why, but boy that is kinda… well… ya know! *lol* I’ll shut my hole now, so I don’t end up like that “party girl” on Saturday. God forbid!

Two nights ago I had a nightmare. It was terrible, and when I woke up I had to pee. But I was, for the first time in my life, scared by a dream, and so I had to lie there and breathe and calm down before daring to move. It was the atmosphere in the dream that was dreadful, and left with an eerie feeling in my whole body. The dream itself sounds really silly. I dreamt that Eminem was an axe murderer, and chased me and some other headless girl around. We even hid under the grass… yeah, like that’s possible – especially when being fat. It’s just as likely as me hiding under a duvet, and not being discovered, right… Funny! Last night however, was a whole other story. A love story to be precise. Bob and I, in sweet harmony. Aaawh…

Talked about not feeling well yesterday. Luckily I haven’t gotten worse. Quite the contrary actually. I am better. Head still feels like it’s gonna explode like very second, but fortunately that hasn’t happened yet. But that’s about it. Nothing a couple of ibuprofens can’t take away.

I am going to watch a film tonight. It’s the type that is easy on the mind. Comedy and it doesn’t require full attention and deep thoughts. Which suits me fine on a day like this. And, moreover; Colin Firth stars in it, and he is pleasing on the eye, so there! Colin plays Mr. Darcy in Bridget Jones, and in Pride and Prejudice the BBC series, amongst others. Here he is in Pride and Prejudice: (yes Elise this is for you too!!)

Well, I am gonna play worms and wait for the film which starts at 9.

Tomorrow I am heading for Stavanger to visit one of my best friends; Stina. She is at work, so I won't go before on the 2 train from here. Looking very much forward to it!!!

Monsoon :-)

*B and O and B*

EUROPEAN CHAMPIONS!!

Champions and ill, possibly...

If I put pictures into the post the text gets all crammed and difficult to read, hence yesterdays post. So that is why I have posted the happy pictures of the Norwegian team in the post above...

WE WON!! 27-24. Tears in my eyes, sore throat from all the screaming, as the match was insanely thrilling. Eva and I jumped up and down, couldn’t sit still in the end. Russia is a very very good team, and they followed us like 1 and 2 goals behind throughout the whole match. When Norway’s captain, Gro was injured after only 6, 5 minutes today I said; nooooo! But, the other girls stepped up, took responsibility and won the whole bleedin thing!


Party last night was all right, for a while. But then some girl that I don’t know came too. Well I know her by name and appearance, but not as a person. By God was she vulgar. It can be fun for two seconds, but then it gets too old, if you know what I mean. One of the things she told us was that a man from my place had said to her once that if she was a stamp he would have licked her. Ha-ha, not! It was perhaps fun when I was 11 or 12. She didn’t stop there, and it seemed like she had one topic and that was sex in a vulgar way. I am all for talking about sex, but only with people whom I trust, and not in that way. “Have you ever heard of the concept discretion?” I was the only one not drinking, but that is no problem to me. I have no trouble talking and laughing without alcohol. When I was a young teen and we had been out, people always thought I had been totally wasted. And I who never drank one drop of alcohol before I was 18. Tji hi! I like being sober, as I am “just right” then. I can relax, joke, talk, be flirtatious and so on without having to be drunk. I know so many people who can’t even meet a man/girl, go to a party, and go out and so on, without being under the influence. How sad is that? I think it is horrible! Most of them have also only ever had sex in a drunken state. It must be really hard to be that stiff, inhibited, and unable to loosen up and be yourself.

I am not feeling so well today, think I might be brewing on something. Oh no, not just before Christmas. Darn! And I never get ill, so I jut keep telling myself; I won’t get ill, I won’t get ill”, and I hope that that will help. *positive thinking eh?* So because of that excruciating headache, boiling cheeks/head, pain in every muscle in the body (yes, I do have muscles despite being fat. *lol*) and not to mention heartache, I will stop here. Happy though, as we won the final. In addition I hereby order myself to go to bed early(ish..)

Snap, crackle and pop!

Monsoon

Bob ;-)

Yesss!!!!

JAAAAYSIIIIS! We're in the final!!! Oh my God what a match! I swear, my pulse was beating into the millions!! Soooo exciting, and the teams followed each other almost to the end. Then in the last two minutes Norway showed who was boss, and won 28-24!!

So fucking happy now, and I have screamed so much that my voice is hoarse... Tjhi!!

NORWAY, woo hoo! Tomorrow Russia awaits in the final.

Woo hoo!

My good friend Karin came with this beautiful flower for me when she heard I had gotten A. Such a nice gesture!

Saturday, and I am waiting for the semi finales in the Euro Championship. Norway is playing France, and that’s gonna be a very difficult match. I have belief in the Norwegian team, as they are very good. One of the most important players was injured in their first match in the championship. Her name is Katja Nyberg, and she is girlfriends with our captain, whose name is Gro Hammerseng. They are both fantabulous handball players! I think it is so cool to have a couple on the team, especially as that means they are lesbian!! Great shout-out for the gay community I think. Here they are; Gro to the left, and then Katja.

I am going to Hege today, as it is her birthday. She’s gonna have a smallish party. I am glad the match starts and ends in time for me to see it all before having to go the party. Maybe I sound mad in head, but I would have chosen the match first, and then I would have gone to the party afterwards. It is not that often there’s a Euro championship… Only every second year actually. Hope the party will turn out to be good!

I have finally put up the rest of the Christmas decorations, and to try to get some of that jolly feeling into my body I played Christmas songs while doing it. It helped, until I realized most of the songs were sooo sad sounding. And then I also remembered that yesterday was the day my ex and I started to live together. Yuk! But that took a turn in a different direction last year all right. Here I am single, and she is busy planning her wedding with her new girl Vanja. “All” just because I was so fucking stupid to fall in love with a married man. Oh holy crap! (Of course we had other problems, prior, but me liking him was the triggering factor) But I guess it was all good in the end. When I was able to fall so hard and so deep both emotionally and physically for someone else, it kind of said a few things about the relationship I was in. It probably wasn’t right after all. I know that now…

I just have to nag about that A again, just a little bit. When I got it the first person I felt like telling was Bob. Huge surprise! As I always felt that he believed in me, and I am certain that he would have been proud of me. Well, certain was maybe a strong word; I’ll say I think so instead…

Almost done Christmas shopping too. Yea!

Monsoon - in a good mood -

BOB

School's out for now...

Last day at Uni, so now it’s Christmas Holiday. Yea! I start again on January 10th, so that’s close to one whole month of holiday. Though; I can’t stay on the lazy side at all. I have tons of pages to read in law and sociology, and social psychology too.

In the handball championship Norway is doing Ok. They’ve won their first four games, by at least 10 goals. Yesterday they played Austria, and Norway played really bad at times. But we managed to win in the end, 39-24, which was great on a bad day I guess. We “won” the last 20 minutes with 13 goals. Austria used to be one of the top teams in Europe, but unfortunately they aren’t that good anymore. One of their players, Sorina Teodorovic played in Norway at Bækkelaget for many years. I used to work-out at the same studio as her, and so it was nice to “see” her again. Tonight Norway is meeting Macedonia. Hope we win this too. Heck, let’s win the whole damn thing!

Listening to Neil Young, and I have to say that though I love his voice, it kinda kills me at the same time. It is so incredibly sore and melancholic sounding, a lot of the time. It grabs your soul, and you can’t help it. It just happens, every time, unnoticeable… It’s all good. I like it this way. I couldn’t bare, even the thought of, not truly living and being influenced by the music I listen to. Of course, from time to time, I too listen to music just to get me dancing and stuff like that. Music is medicine, and it’s like the fabulous Pete Townshend says; “Rock won’t eliminate your problems, but it will sort of let you dance all over them”. How true!

I have written so many poems lately, plus pouring my heart, soul and mind out, in all sorts of writings. It does me good, but it cures not all wounds. Hopefully time will take care of that for me.

My feet have still not hit the ground after getting my A. I am flying first class at the moment! And boy is that lovely. I talked to the teacher who had the main job to mark my exam today. (10 people have been involved in marking the exams though.) She said it was the best A they had seen in a long time, and that she only had one comment on it which was: crystal clear A. I blushed while she said this and she commented on that and added; “I guess you’ll blush even more if I say that I wish to copy this to everyone else for them to see how it should be solved?” Yes, I said, and I don’t want it copied! I don’t! I feel embarrassed! But oh so happy! I am afraid my feet won’t ever touch the ground again. No, I am kidding, but I am just so un-fucking-believably happy and fulfilled by this. I am sorry if I sound totally haughty now, I don’t mean too, I just feel like sharing how exalted and proud I am. So again; excuse me if I sound like one gigantic ego… I am not, really…

*LOL*

Well, I am off to watch some telly I am…

Tiny update: Norway won 28-13, and tomorrow awaits Hungary. Difficult match, as they are very good!

Monsoon

Long time

Wind and rain, heavy horizontal rain, as usual here. But I love it. I like weather that almost goes through your body. Really rough and fabulous weather.

Anyway. I haven’t been writing for many days. I think it is the longest gap between two blog entries, since I started a little over a year ago. Don’t know why, no I do know. I think my writing is insanely boring. I only write about what I’ve been doing and about my fucked up emotional life and so on. It’s like; why would that be interesting to anyone? God! I don’t know where I am going with this blog anymore. I think it’s gone somewhere I never planned for it to go. Should I stop writing? But then; I haven’t a clue as to what I should be writing about instead. I don’t want a political blog, only fractions of it. I don’t want it to be a complete journey of my extremely complex mind, like in the form of poems, short-stories and “blabber”. I don’t want it to be a reeling off of someone else’s words, definitions and opinions in all forms. I want it to be me. The true me. But I can’t reveal all the truth. The written language is much more powerful than the spoken. You can’t see the person, the expressions, body-language or eyes. Therefore the written word is easily misunderstood in the way that people tend to exaggerate the words, and give them other meanings than they were intended.

I remember I wrote a poem about how I waned to sleep for a long time. To me that just meant for a while; until the storm was ridden… But to most of my friends that “meant” that I wanted to die. So there you go! Perhaps it’s just meeee…? In addition; the one thing constantly on my mind I can’t talk about all the time. Most of you feel revulsion by the name Bob by now, and you might even experience puking. To be honest; he is on my mind 24-7, no doubt. In by bloodstream, floating around like the only truth I will ever find. But I can’t just go on, and on, and on about him. So to get some of the steam out, I might just end an entry with BOB… nothing more. It says it all. “My head is saying "fool, forget him". (From some lyrics…)

I sit here and look at my beautiful and sweet pussycat. So glad I have her. When I feel lonely,”talking” to her and cuddling up with her helps me. At least she is a living creature…
A social person like me isn’t made for living alone. It sucks.

Looking forward to going to school tomorrow. Then I am going to tell one of the teachers I got an A. She old me she was keeping her fingers crossed for me, so I know she will be so happy to hear about my grade. Of course it won’t be painful to tell people how I did either. Woo hoo! *lol*

I am dead tired and so I am going to bed, big time!

Monsoon

*BOB*

I AM THE HAPPIEST WOMAN RIGHT NOW.

I GOT AN A ON MY EXAM!!! (which is the best...)

There were 5 of us who got an A, out of 100 persons.

*crying in pure exalted joy*

Life is sunshine right now... Took this picture as the sun honoured us with its presence earlier today. It's been ages, as the last weeks have been nothing but rain and rain.

To add to the joy of today, there’s a rumour that THE WHO might be playing a festival in Norway next year. I will chew off my left foot for that to happen! (tad exaggerated, I admit)

Now I am waiting for my dad to come down. We're going to watch Norway versus Slovenia in the European Championship in handball for women, which starts today.

Monsoon - so proud I could die -

tiny note

Having a crappy crappy day, but one good thing: Finally an Inter match on TV, so that's what I am going to be doing now. I am going to watch Inter versus Bayern Munich. *must win this game*

Only annoying thing is that the football players all look like ants running around. Why? Well, because my old, but totally adorable, TV, is only 20". 

I have vowed not to buy a new one before this is broken. A tiny 
protest against the "use and throw away" society we live in... 

Monsoon

Words, don’t come easy to me, how can I find a way, to make you see I love you?

Words, don’t come easy to me… No, that’s truly true sometimes. That song really reminds me of being a child. It is called Words. Do you remember it? Awwwh so cute. My aunt and I sang it together in her car while out driving. Talking about “old times”; there’s this programme on TV here. It is called “golden times” and the concept is this: Three men, who all were young in the 80’s, go around the world to talk to the heroes of the 80’s. Some of whom they’ve talked to are: “Krystle” and “Fallon” in Dynasty, Sabrina, Bo Derek, The Bangles, Samantha Fox, Glenn Medeiros (sang Nothing’s gonna change my love for you) Limahl (sang the never-ending story) and of course more. I enjoy that show, because I think it is cool to meet the stars of then and see what they’re up to now.

I will, somewhat unwillingly, admit that Samantha Fox was my big idol of that time. It wasn’t her music that I liked the most about her. No, in fact I was like the guys who drooled over her two important frontal assets and the rest of her body as well. (little "pervee") I had about 300 posters of her, and they covered the walls in my HUGE room in the basement. I also had scrapbooks of her, and I still have them today. While other girls had posters of Jon Bon Jovi and other male singers whom they found sexy, I had Sam Fox. Even more unwillingly I will admit that I had both posters and pictures of her topless. (yup, that’s not deviant, nooo…) I was ardently taken with her, and watched videos of her “all day long”. Weird. I have mentioned her in my diary even, and I have written about how sexy and beautiful I thought she was. God, give me a break!! How my bisexuality could pass me by until I was 20 is way way beyond me. More importantly; how come my parents weren’t a bit startled over the amount of posters of women in my room? (It is all coming back to me now; I had pics of Catherine Oxenberg from Dynasty too… Oh God!) In denial perhaps!? *lol* No, I don’t think it was that. I had boyfriends all the time, so I don’t think anyone, me included, thought that I was anything but straight as log.

Lucikly after this periode I developed both a better taste in men/women and music! *lol*

Though I must say, right now I do feel more on the straighter side. I suppose it has to do with the fact that I have met my “dream partner”, and he is male. (oh boy is he male… sigh and a little bit of drool too…) While with Inger Marie I felt more on the gay side. So I guess it all depends… I will stress this though: I don’t need both at the same time. I am monogamous! I just had to say that because, unfortunately, many people think that bisexuals are these horn dogs that need to have sex 24-7. Also that we never can be faithful and that we need both sexes at all times. One big sexorama I suppose. That’s not true, not for me it isn’t.


Yes, yet another childhood picture of me...

I am so tired, that I think I need a little nap. So I’ll see you all.

Monsoon

B.O.B

Wuthering heights

My kitchen, living room and hall are spotless. I doubt it’s been this clean since we moved in here in May 2004. Hihi… The kitchen presses even got a good scrub, and I’ve done a thorough cleaning job all round. I was supposed to do the rest today, but somehow I never got around to it. Wonder why? I will do it Thursday after shopping for Christmas presents. My dad was kind enough to tick off in a, Clas Ohlson, catalogue what he would like. Makes it easier, as it is so hard to know what to buy. Like, he really does have everything...

The weather has been very wet the past few weeks, with very strong winds and rain. So in this nice weather I found out that going for walk sounded like a good idea. And so I did. I drove down to the sea, and walked down to the beach. The sea roared and I am glad I had a cap and scarf on. When I got down to the “top of the beach”, I actually sat down on the wet ground. It was beautiful to sit there and feel the hard strong wind on my face, and the rain almost whipping my cheeks. I feel alive at moments like that. All alone, receiving whatever the nature has to offer in its entire wrath. That is true magnificence! Have promised myself to try to do that at least once per weekend, when I have the car. I love the sea; it is so powerful and intimidating. I feel a complete awe and calmness being beside it. Took some photos, but while trying to avoid rain on my mobile/camera, the pictures didn’t turns out so good. You’ll get a picture of w hat it was like. I wish I could have taken a picture of the roaring sound, which would be cool!


Here I am trying to take a pic of myself, but virtually impossible as the rain and wind "took" me

No kids in sight here...

Due to the insane amounts of note taking at Uni I have managed to get a tendonitis in my wrist. It hurts like hell. I am very much used to it, because when I was a goalkeeper in handball I had tendonitis all the time. Still annoying though. Dad said that he has a laptop I could borrow, but I am not sure that would be better. Don’t particularly like the laptop keyboard. It is so flat somehow. I find it difficult to write. So I think I’ll just stick to the old pen and paper. The 13th of December is the last day before Christmas, and then I am off for nearly a month. Hope that will “fix” the wrist.

I think I will play some worms, and then I'll watch some TV.

Monsoon :-) - Feeling quite happy today -

B..

I have no idea what to call this post

I’ve been off school today, but I had to get up early nevertheless. Drove my grandda, who will be 86 on January 30th, to the hospital for a check up on his tongue. (He had cancer). Luckily everything seemed fine, so I agree to what grandda said on the way home: “It is the best Christmas present I could get”. He gave me 400 NOK for driving him. I said that that was so not necessary. But he replied: “that is the least your services are worth”. I gave him a long hug in the hospital hall, and the nurse smiled at us. I have always been very special to grandda, because I speak my mind, and I am always myself. I never pretend, or try, to be this “picture perfect” for them, and he appreciates that so much. Also he says he likes me so much because I am honest, and if I think he behaves like an idiot, I will give out to him. Weird the things people are grateful for, eh!?

Well, back to today; when we came home to Varhaug, grandma had pancakes and some home baked cookies for us. That was my breakfast, to my grandma’s horror. This was at 12 o’clock and I hadn’t eaten. I then had to tell her that there is no immediate emergency connected to me not eating. Besides; I detest breakfast. I just can’t seem to swallow food right after getting up. If I am not insanely hungry, which I rarely am at the crack of dawn, I usually don’t eat before two hours of getting up.

I think congratulations are in order!! About a week ago my (first) cousin Ole Morten, 26 years, gave out his first examples of his gourmet ice-cream. He makes the ice-cream on his farm right here at Vigrestad, using only the finest ingredients from the farm and other places. He has been to Italy to learn the trade. He had to go back to the country where it all started you know. I come from a long line of ice-cream lovers, and boy have I tried a lot of ice-cream around the world. Nothing compares to “Iskremgården”’s one. Wow! Last weekend my brother came with four samples for me to try. While eating all I could do was moan, sigh, moan, and it sounded like I was up to something completely different. And I am telling you; for every spoon I ate I had a tiny orgasm. *lol* The flavour exploded in my mouth, it was the best I have ever tried. I don’t particularly like strawberry taste, but this one was like a taste of heaven. Fresh strawberries… One big yum! I am so proud of my first cousin. He and his wife have worked so hard to be able to do this. And not only that, the logo is made by family too. In fact my brother designed it. What you can’t see from this picture is that behind the name there is a vague air photo of the farm. Too cool!

Tomorrow is cleaning day, and by that I mean really clean!! Even move the sofas and vacuum behind them. Heavy bastards! *lol* Then I have to get out some of my Christmas decorations. I will post pictures later. I even have special curtains for the kitchen. Gotta love this season. Wish me luck because; yuk!

I do wish there could be some way I could be in charge of my own dreams at night, as it seems that my subconscious is living a life of its own. I have one dream category, and have for the past few months. Pray what ever could it be? I won’t keep you in the dark for long. The category is Bob. One would think that by now I must have dreamt every dream there is about him. But ooooh nooo… Every night something new. At this point I find this to be hysterical! Last night I dreamt that we were slowdancing, really close, and well let’s just leave it with saying; it was kinda sexy. *pulling three billion wish bones at the same time*

Monsoon ;-)

Mindless mumbo jumbo

I started this study because I want to help/support/empower people to get out of whatever difficult situation they’re in, and for whatever reason. As I read I find myself agreeing with one of the authors. She says about her own years of studying social work: “I thought this was about learning about other people. But it wasn’t long before I learned that it had just as much to do with me learning about myself.” This is so true! I have actually had to put down the books sometimes, as emotions rise high. It hits close to home. I think to myself: Is this allusive?” God, it stirs me up!

I have come to a decision. In order to try even harder at letting go of the always present Mr. B himself, I have chosen to try get totally pre-occupied with my studies. (GOD I miss him though!!) To focus on what’s important to me right now; which is to get an education. So I will learn for the sake of learning, not just good grades, explore, expand and grow and so on. Take pleasure in becoming the best social worker I can turn into.

I am exceptionally emotional at the moment. And have been for the past two weeks. I don’t know what it is. Well, I do know some reasons, the most apparent ones, but the more underlying ones are harder to pinpoint. I feel I am in a phase of transition in my soul, and life in general. Can’t really explain, but I hope that it will get clearer as time goes by. Like I’ve said before; sometimes I wish I were a robot. Emotions are fucking my life up, no doubt. And I am not one for living in repression either. I can’t disavow what’s inside. Neither can I hide it for me, or anyone else. I have to live, feel and be honest, in all aspects like that. Can’t go around pretending everything is grand. “I don’t bottle up my feelings, as it isn’t good for me”. I am sad, but simultaneously I am becoming more content also, which I am grateful for. It’s all my own work with my mind and social life.

If I may sound/be silly; I miss a few things, physically, like crazy! When you're used to intimacy for 6 years, and then in the split of a second it's all gone... Drives me nuts with longing.
Especially towards a certain someone. I've never been near him that way, and I can  practially feel how my hands want to touch him. For some reason; his hair, hands and cheeks in particular. I also miss kissing. I love it. It's so intimate and the feeling of your love's lips, oh kill me now! But not as much as a tongue in sight, except my own... *lol* 

Jabber, jabber, jabber. I am sure this was all very interesting, to hear me talking about things like this. Ah well! It’s my blog, isn’t it!? *lol*

I will leave you go now.

But before I go; try to log on to the Internet using these instructions, found in a Hotel in Asia. Good one! Hihi...

Monsoon :-)

Chatterbox Club

Hi!

I don’t know why, but for some reason I am not very into my own mind at the moment. Probably trying not to think about the not so good aspects of my life. This results in difficulties in writing. The things I have inside are too private to talk about in here, and I am sure they would be misconceived anyways... I want to share these photos by an artist. He does street paintings. So realistic! Amazing, I must say.




Here's a new "learn more about me" thing... Oh so exciting! *lol*

I AM: Tired and numb and a bit happy too.

I WANT: To forget… To sleep for a very long time… To be a fantastic student.

I WISH: I could speak more languages, like Italian, Russian and Polish. And I also wish to be better at Spanish.

I HATE: The injustice of the world. Animal cruelty. Hypocrisy, prejudice and impoliteness. Also my own weakness and fatness.

I MISS: B.., my friends that don’t live around here, Beata in Poland, my Irish “family”, having someone around, my cat Bastian, being able to run really fast,

I FEAR: I won’t reveal my worst ones, it’s too personal, but I don’t like spiders and heights.

I HEAR: Everything, my hearing is “effen” brilliant. *lol*

I WONDER: About almost everything. I have a thoughtful mind. Drives me nuts sometimes.

I REGRET: Over the past two years; a lot! But I regret what I didn’t say and didn’t dare to do.

I AM NOT: Good at keeping a spotless flat.

I DANCE: A lot. I love it, and it frees me.

I SING: Soooo much! I even “mime” the words of the songs I listen to on my media player, when on the train. I can’t sit still when music is being played.

I CRY: Don’t get me started. I take to the tears easy, especially during my period time. When I feel vulnerable there are a lot of tears… I had to stop an “attack” going to school today. It was a Pete Townshend son that almost had me in tears; “Let my love open the door”.

I AM NOT ALWAYS: calm and collect. When students in my class talk during lectures like they’re in the middle of some "Chatterbox social club" gathering. Even after the teacher tells them to stop, they just can’t shut the fuck up. It drives me mental, and I just want to go back there and “strangle” them… It is impolite, rude, disrespectful and ruining it for us who actually want to learn. My thought in this case is; “and you guys are going to be social workers!?” Jainey!

I MAKE WITH MY HANDS: Not a lot. I paint. I write. I make dinner.

I WRITE: three billion tons every day, poems, blog entries, diary, school things, lyrics, books and more.

I CONFUSE: My cat.

I NEED: To become better at everything.

I SHOULD: start believing in myself, not eat as much, exercise, stop liking B, make more friends, stop behaving like I am an “elephant” and not a human and relax.

I START: A lot of stuff…

I FINISH: Worms world party games, paintings, poems, and most of what I start, but perhaps not the most important things…


In week 49 we get the results from our home exam. I am very anxious. I do hope I pass.
Until then it is study study study, and then the European handball championship for women starts. Yea!

Monsoon ;-)

Weird child

Wow. Two days ago since I last sat down to write some crap. Yup, that really is astounding.
Just home from Hege’s. Nice to see her!

So now I sit here with really loud music at 23.15. I can play insanely loud at this hour, because the people downstairs are not here. I love when they’re gone. Then I can sing/scream as much as my heart desires. And it needs to, a whole lot right now. It’s good to get “everything out” that way. Right now it is Roger Waters’ “Pros and cons of hitch hiking” that’s playing. Fucking brilliant! Especially the song Running shoes. But now I want/need some “angry” music. What to put on? Zombie with Cranberries perhaps. Yes… Aah, that’s good. *letting out some steam*

This week has been quite stressing. Started with three new big subjects at school; psychology, sociology and law. So much to read and learn, and I am not through half of it. Have been way too tired to read at all times. Did some studying today, luckily.

I have been reminiscing and looking in my old photo albums today. I love doing that. I am a keeper. I have a cardboard box called “memory things”. Amongst other things there are diaries (I have kept a diary since the age of 10), school diaries, letters, tickets from every place I visited when younger, even cinema tickets, notebooks from when I was a child, “documents” from our Data Detective bureau”, old train tables and lists of what me and my friends wanted to play. We could never decide what to play you see, so we used to write down five things each. I can see that my favourites were.

- Kids in an orphanage (I had seen Annie, *lol*)
- Really rich kids
- Celebrities
- People from some other country. (We then had to talk in a pretend foreign language)
- Poor people, and in particular from the 19th century. (I was weird!)

I totally loved all sorts of play that involved some sort of acting; doing comic sketches for instance. I remember they had these Danish sketch books at he library. I think my loan number was the only one stamped in them, as I had them all the time. It said 1812, 1812, 1812... Sadly most of my friends didn’t get my urges for role-play and acting like this. I especially remember that Eva used to hate when I “forced” her to play foreigners, and to talk pretend Russian for instance. Poor girl. Imagination wasn’t a problem for me growing up, that’s for sure. Another thing I did was to use a tape recorder an awful lot.

I guess we can safely say that my voice is thoroughly documented from the age of 5 until I am like 16 or something. Some of what I've done: I sang songs from “tramteateret’s” TV programmes ( a Norwegian theatre/song group kinda thing), tried to talk English but knew only to count to four, and kept saying one, two, three, four, over and over agian. Talked to myself about my goings-on. Had long monolouges about anything, and within those always a bit of improvised acting. I interviewed mum, dad, my aunt and I even tried to interview my one year old brother, who couldn’t even talk. I was persistent, and on the tape I ask and ask him until he starts sobbing. At 10 I got a tape recorder that had two speakers and a radio too. So on that I recorded myself singing to music being played on my old tiny mono recorder. I was mad into recording. My parents have told me that my old tape recorder was practically glued to my body until I got the bigger one. Boy was I proud of it. I even dragged it with me out of the house. Eager much!?

I have scanned a photo of me and my friends on our way to first day at school in 1983. We were 8 and 9 here, and going to start 3rd and 4th grade. Two of the girls are still my best friends. From left: Helen, still friend, me, Eva, still friend, Annette and Julie.



It’s after 12 here now, so I better go to bed.

See you!

Love Monsoon

Gobsmacked

Yea! Inter won 1-0 yesterday’s match in Champions League. So happy! According to me they’re now in second place in the standing. I wish I could have seen Crespo’s goal. Look at him go.

Had a good day at Uni. We had psychology and law. Law seems really interesting. Never thought so, but it makes a lot of sense to learn it. I mean we basically work with the law in our hand. A lot of the decisions we make are based upon the laws. Good teacher too. Tomorrow we start sociology. It’ll be interesting, I think.

I have a girl from Africa in my “small work group” at Uni (5 people), and we have talked from time to time. Her name is Marie José. Today we talked a lot. I asked her, unknowingly, where she came from, and why she moved to Norway. She then said she was from Burundi, and that she moved to Norway because her whole family had been brutally killed in the war. Well except her and one uncle…. Jesus, I was gobsmacked! I told her, in all honesty, that this had me totally speechless and that I didn’t know what to say. She said that that was ok, and continued with; what can you say? I then said that no, what could I say? There is no way I could begin to comprehend even an inch of what that has done to you. She told me more about what she had to watch, and that she was only 9 years old in 1993, when it all started. Apparently it was ethnic cleansing too. Reminded her of Hitler’s Germany she said.

It got us talking and discussing the (classic) imperialism that took place in Africa between 1870 and 1913. An era we should be embarrassed about, in a big way. It is revolting what happened. I really think that so much of what the white people did there have caused a lot of the trouble Africa has with civil wars, guerrillas, genocides, starvation, and so on. They were forced to produce only what the white man needed. This of course led to difficulties in becoming autarkic. (or is it self-supported it is called?!) They were oppressed, killed, plundered, and exploited. When the colonists divided the country they did it almost with a ruler. No races/tribes, culture, languages or religion were taken into consideration when the division took place. Their only interests were power and land/colonies.

Ok, I will shut it now; I could go on forever you see. I have a huge interest and pre-occupation in this topic. I see it as our duty to learn from history. Especially the really dark sides of it like this. For three main reasons; to better understand the world we live in, to try not to make the same mistakes, and to pass on the knowledge. Well, this is mainly my view.

It is soon that time of the month, which means I am in my usual sexy mood because of that. And; as usual it is totally wasted. *lol* Well not entirely of course. It is nice to feel like that, so… All my senses are sharpened, both bad and good. I even listen to music in a different way than normal. Strange I think.

Enough!

Leave with this: How true eh!? Hihi…


Monsoon :-)

Bread rules!

Got up at 05.15 this morning, or should I say night, black night. I can’t stress enough just how much I detest getting up this early. I could never be a baker, because they get up even before “normal” people have gone to bed. Nobody should ever have to get up any earlier than 07.30. Everything else is inhumane. Well not for everyone; my own mum willingly and insanely (according to me) gets up at around 5. First of all because she likes some quiet time and secondly she does it to keep dad company in the morning. That’s love for you. hehe…

Ok, I will admit it. I have stopped the diet. My friend Irene thought it was mental to go on such a strict diet, especially for me. I am after all a “recovering over-eating disorder person”. She then consulted our mutual and brilliant psychologist friend, Agnete, and they came to the conclusion that I should stop. They thought it would mess up my head too much, and maybe destroy everything I have managed and built up in the last two years. Plus my blog friend Lilie agreed with them, judging by her comment. So then after talking to mum as well, I decided to stop. I will try to do so without getting disappointed in myself. At 6 o’clock this evening I ate some bread. I tell you; I ate it with the biggest smile on my face. Sooooo good. Sigh. I know it sounds like I haven’t eaten bread in four years, but when depriving oneself from “normal” stuff; it makes two days feel like a gazillion. So there you go, I am no longer de-carbodrated. *lol* Also; in the split of a second; the headache was gone too. Amazing, and great, as my head was near explosion. However; I will eat healthy… Honestly. I am worth it. Plus should I have any chance on finding myself a man some day in the far future, when B is “forgotten”, I need to be thinner. It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune doesn’t drool over fat girls. *lol* (stole some of Jane Austen’s great starting sentence in Pride and Prejudice)

My flat needs cleaning. Is there anyone out there who likes the cleaning business? Please, by all means feel free to wipe your dusters around here. I promise I won’t be in the way. In fact I’ll leave the flat while you are at work. Housework is the kind of work that nobody notices if you do it, but everyone notices if you don’t. Isn’t that true? It is also so completely useless. Well the dusting is. You wipe the TV and then three seconds later there’s tons of dust on it. How ungrateful. I’d like to enjoy housework, and I certainly would LOVE to be a fantastic cook, but right now this is more me:

Viking, the local football team has hired a new coach. Not my first choice, but he didn’t want the job so… I hope he will be great for the team, especially for their spirits. There are several Champions League matches today, but of course no Norwegian channel is going to send the one I want to see. Aaargh! I have, let me count, 8 pure sport channels, plus some other ones that do send sport, but none of them are sending Inter versus Sporting Lisbon. Ah well, what can you do really? Hope they win though.

I leave today, far less hungry and messed up, plus much happier than yesterday.

Monsoon

Is there life?

Woo hoo… *lol* This has been a dreary day, and not to mention hungry day. ME WANT REAL FOOD! *drooling and practically dying in front of the fridge* (ever so slightly exaggerated!?) This diet thing makes my seriously mental in the head, already… *lol* I am in Headache City and Psycho Ville! In addition; so hungry it hurts.

"My” coacher doesn’t answer my mails, so I am not sure whether to stay on this thing or not. Firstly he hasn’t told me how much to eat, how frequent, what to eat together with what, and so on, so how will I know? Secondly I am basically only doing it to get those two free sessions to give to my friend. But now I am starting to think that there’s something not right. I can’t be bothered to live like a rabbit for ten consecutive days without that “prize”, no way. I will of course eat healthy, and I mean really healthy. Not semi-healthy like the past 2, 5 months. I would like to be able to allow myself to eat some bread and meat though. Wait what was that? Ooh. It was the chicken filets calling me from the freezer. They want me to eat them. God! I am such a freak! If I can’t live one day without meat, what’s to become of me? I am smiling cause I find myself amusing right now. Like I have never gone one day without meat before. Of course I have. Jainey, it just seems so much worse today. It must be the mix of the lack of meat, Tab, bread and carbs in general. Yeah… I am “de-carbodrated”

Only good things about today have been Malin’s visit, and the Msn chat with dear Irene. And music, let’s not forget music! Always a treat! Which reminds me; I have been wanting to post this lovely picture of the “In The Attic” gang. Aaawh… Aren’t they cute?


It is Rachel Fuller with her beloved Pete (who can blame her?), Pete’s brother Simon Townsend, and in the back is fabulous Mike Cuthbert. It is Rachel and Mikey’s show, but both Pete and Simon appear quite frequent too, either as musicians or technicians…

*chicken filets, salmon filets, chicken mince, steaks*

Also according to some feminists this is porn:

I have one question for you guys: Have you ever, I mean ever, watched pornographic pictures or films? Apparently not, because that doesn’t look like this at all. I can assure you! This to me shows one women in her very nice underwear. Nothing more. She doesn’t spread her legs or put a finger in her mouth and suck it while looking at “you” with lust in her eyes… She just sits and stands around her apartment wearing underwear. Yes, I can see where you find that pornographic. If “Hennes and Maurits” or H&M, is to advertise their knickers and bras, how do you suggest they do it? With trousers and sweaters hiding what’s underneath? I am exceptionally sick and tired of these know-it-alls that apparently have nothing to do with their time, except dig up so-called problems and complain about them. I don’t agree with you, not at all.

Monsoon

B..

This is a very long, strange and silly post

What have you done to make yourself proud today...

… A question raised in a TV programme I watched. I felt as if they asked me this. It kind of hit home, if you know what I mean. So I asked myself that very same question, and came to the horrible realization that; nothing.
- Nothing was my answer. If that isn’t dreadfully sad then I don’t know what is. To be 32, a seemingly intelligent girl, and sitting here wasting her life not feeling proud of fucking anything she does. Ok, I admit I do things that I am proud of, for others, but nothing for me. I am so not looking out for number one. I just live in this semi-healthy-life which just keeps me on the same weight, and which also kills my true spirit by the minute.

I am not all I can be. The Monsoon you see isn’t what I truly like being. The real me has much more true confidence, always smiling, great spirit, she is content, social and loves to meet new people. I am a shadow of what I have aspirations and possibilities of being. It makes me sick. So sick I want to scream out loud and smack my head. Get a grip you silly twat! Bob released the true me, so I was able to enjoy 1, 5 years of freedom. He opened my eyes in a way, so that I could see myself from the outside, and to see that I was worth making an effort for. Now that I don’t have that, it’s hard. I tend to judge and put myself down. Nevertheless; truth be spoken; he isn’t here anymore. He never will be. His heart, mind and body belong to someone else. So I will have to get a grip and find the spark within. I am so tired of this fight with myself, as that’s what this feels like. It wears me out.

I have had it with this behaviour, and so I will start that challenge thing my coacher gave me, tomorrow. It is gonna take all my energy, but I will conquer this!
Things in my student life are hard for me, and that doesn’t exactly help with the whole eating thing. I don’t want to say anything more about it, other than what I hope for, which is being able to say this, and mean it: "To hell" with all you prejudiced and stuck up people.

Despite the “sadness” of this post I feel determined and strong today. I believe in me, who I want to be, and how I want to be perceived. I will go and “bake” the life I want for myself. I know one ingredient that forever will be missing, but that doesn’t mean I can’t have the good life I want. I just need a replacement, like in baking… One replaces the expensive and magnificent saffron with the similar, yet not so exclusive, turmeric. *lol* It might take an insane amount of time and effort, but it must be possible. Why must he feel so important to me? Heck! But as for Bob; I have decided one thing. I have to go on, live, breathe, think, learn, and just be, while he “runs” around in my mind and soul at all times. If it isn’t meant to be, the love will fade some time. (I hope!!) I can’t force myself not to love him. Doesn’t work like that. Love isn’t a button you can press ON or OFF on. I care so much for this man that I could burst. Not to mention physical attraction... Dear God! Probably sound really cliché and silly. True it is though…

Vegar is beeping me on Msn… After: That was a very refreshing conversation indeed!! ;-)

I leave today with hope and determination of an important and big change food wise. This is it.

Monsoon :-)

Wintertime love

Ok, I am just really exasperated right now. I had written quite a long blog entry, and then the phone rang. We got talking, Audhild and I, and in the middle of the conversation I for some reason pressed a key on my computer by mistake. It asked me did I want to save, and since I was in phone-land I pressed no. Then I thought to myself; do you realize what you’ve done!? It was gone! For crying out loud you stupid gin-swilling #/&%*!! … Yes, I do have a tendency to become very mad at myself when acting like a total thick “eejit”…

Anywhoooo… Agnete and I have been to visit Rønnaug, Tommy and their new baby Andreas. It was so great to see them. Andreas was totally cute, and so quiet. Rønnaug’s dad, also named Andreas, was there too. It was terrific to see him, as he is such a great guy. We had an awfully nice time. Agnete and I also got to talk a lot in the car back and forth, which was fab. I can’t wait for Christmas to come. Because then all my friends who live away come home. Most of them. We have been a “gang” for 16 years, and the “we” consist of me, Rønnaug, Agnete, Møyfrid, Judit, Oddbjørg, Irene, Janne and Helene. I love my girls!
Here he is in his cradle by the way.

As you all know I live in Norway. A fairly cold country, especially during winter. I hardly believed my eyes when I two days ago found a rose on my balcony. Seriously; we’re talking midst of November here. It’s not supposed to be roses growing this time of year. How weird. I took a picture of it. However; I am not complaining as I am not particularly fond of snow. Not down here. In the mountains it’s ok, down here, not so much. There is mainly one reason for that: I am scared, beyond stiff, of falling. No wonder eh, as you can imagine the sound and the look of three tons of women falling to the ground. What spectacle! I am pretty sure the shake would be picked up by the Richter’s scale. Picture this headline: *woman fell, caused major quake*. You gotta have some self-irony to endure being and looking like me, ok. *lol* Not to mention how much it would hurt my poor self. My hip is painful enough as it is, I don’t need it to be worse.

I feel a bit uplifted today, so I must enjoy that feeling. Yesterday was fecking brutal in comparison. I can’t get him out of my head. He is too unforgettable and loveable for that.
You know what to do if you’re sick of hearing about it; skip this section. Or if you have already read; try to repress it…

Well, see you all, and have a nice week!

Monsoon

Boring post, sorry...

Ok, right now I am totally boring, and I have nothing to write about that would be of any interest. So I am posting this instead. Feel free to copy and give me your answers. Maybe my mind will be kinder later on tonight, as I am usually more "creative"
at night time.

Do you snore?
Well, I do when my nose is blocked. *feeling very feminine now*

Are you a lover or a fighter?
Oh, when I love, I really love, but I can fight as well.

What's your worst fear?
I don’t want to say

As a kid, were you a Lego maniac?
YES!!! A huge one as well; had about a gazillion tons of the stuff. The whole living room floor was full of the city I built. My brother loved it as well. Still love it, and I don’t mind building. I just don’t think LEGO is what it used to be. It’s become too commercial.

What do you think of reality TV?
I loathe it, and it makes me irate and nauseous. It’s vile, really it is.

Were you a cute baby?
Of course I was. I still am. Haha!

Is the single life for you?
Nope!

What colour is your keyboard?
Dark grey and light grey, and some silver.

Do you sing in the shower?
Yes almost every time.

Have you ever bungee jumped?
No I don’t have a death wish. Extreme sports in general; not for me.

Any secret talents?
Heck yeah, but I think I must censor them. Sensitive souls might be reading this.

What is your ideal vacation spot?
Italy, and Spain as well so that I can use the little Spanish I know. But Ireland too, always.

Can you swim?
Yes. Learned it at 13, but I have been terrified of water since I nearly drowned as a kid. But two years ago I was determined that I would be scared no more. So now I can swim without breaking my neck. I used to swim with my head bent toward my back, as I was insanely afraid of getting water on my earlobe. Silly eh!? I am however very proud for conquering the anxiety over this!

Do you give a damn about the ozone?
Yes I do. It concerns me, but I am sure I am ignorant like the rest of the human race, and not doing half of what I could to help the environment.

How many licks does it take to get the center of a Tootsie Pop?
Licks? I am an expert on that so let’s say 4 minutes. Is it really a pop we’re talking about here?

Can you sing the alphabet backwards?
No, I’ve never tried. Should I?

Do you prefer electric or manual pencil sharpeners?
Manual, talk about being lazy…

What's your stand on hunting?
Not fond of it, but it depends I guess. Totally against it for the sake of sport and fun!! I wouldn’t kill an animal myself, not even for the purpose of eating it. I couldn’t get myself to even fish… To look into the eyes of the poor fish or deer, oh God! Not for me!

Is marriage in your future?
I have no idea. I am not a person who needs to be married, and I’ve never really dreamt about the fairy tale wedding. I am more devout to the relationship itself. As long as I know that the “we” I am a part of is something that is stable and good, I am content. Also I need to know that we are together beacuse we both have passion, true love, respect and care for each other; I don't want it to be "out of old habit" or anxiety over being alone. I'd rather be alone than in a "habit/security/comfort relationship". I need some passion to stay, I do. And I know that it's possible to have that, even after many years. But should someone I truly love in all the ways propose, I wouldn’t say no.

Do you like your handwriting?
Not really no. It’s very messy and it is changing all the time. I can tell by the handwriting what age I am, when looking at older written “things”. My math teacher used to always have to ask me; what does it say there, is that a four… So I guess I am not alone in not liking it… *lol*

What are you allergic to?
Smoke, my nose gets blocked, and also oranges, rhubarb and other fruits high in vitamin C.

When was the last time you said "I love you"?
If you mean to a boy/girl friend then about 1,5 years ago I guess. If you mean friends; I said “love you” to Stina on the phone today. If you mean in my head to someone totally unattainable, just now... (bugger!)

Do you cry at weddings?
If the person getting married is close to me, then yes.

How do you like your eggs?
Well cooked or fried.

Are blondes dumb?
NO!

Where does the other sock end up?
I have these elves that live in my utility room, and they love socks. I try to feed them with socks that have holes in them, but for some reason those aren’t to their satisfaction. We have struck a deal though. And this has resulted in no more disappearing socks for me.

Do you have a nickname?
No, used to be called "dadda" and "Mossi" by my mum

Is McDonalds disgusting?
No, but it’s not exactly gourmet food is it? Besides; the smell in the alley behind a Mc Donalds stink in the vilest ways.

When was the last time you were in a car?
This morning when out shopping for groceries and stuff…

Do you prefer baths or showers?
Depends on the mood. If in a sensual mood, definitely bath. In a hurry in the morning, shower.

Is Santa Claus real?
Of course he is, he brings me loads of nice thing every year.

Do you like to have your neck kissed?
Yes, it gives me shivers down my spine, the good sort… And especially it the kissing continues downwards.

Are you afraid of the dark?
No, never was, never will be. I love the dark.

What are you addicted to?
My computer and internet and talking I think.

Crunchy or creamy peanut butter?
Crunchy

Can you crack your neck?
Yes, I do it every day. Doubt it’s healthy though for some reason.

Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?
No

Is drug free the way to be?
Yes, if we're talking narcotics...

Are you a heavy sleeper?
No, very light. Annoyingly light.

What colour are your eyes?
“Behind blue eyes”

Do you like your life?
Not so much.

Are you psychic?
Yes, I have three crystal balls.

Do you play any instruments?
I can play the tin whistle, which is an Irish flute that is used when playing Irish traditional music. Used to play the German flute (tverrfløyte) when I was young.

Have you ever stolen money?
Yes, from my mum’s purse, and from my brother’s money box when I was little. Bad girl!

Can you snowboard?
No, dear God! I am too chicken!

Do you like camping?
How can I put it… I have this utter revulsion towards camping. Tents are so uncomfortable. They are too cold in the evening, too warm in the morning, so that it feels like one is suffocating, spiders and other creepy crawlers are all over you. Plus I detest camping sites. Bunch of people stuffed into a tiny area. Give me a hotel room. Yes, I admit it. I like “luxury” when on holidays, so kill me.

Do you snort when you laugh?
Yes, if I laugh very hard I sometimes do.

Do you believe in magic?
Yes, magic is so much fun!

Are dogs a man's best friend?
No, a cat is. Dogs are too dependable, they smell and they drool and lick all over you. But they are lovely too, some of them.

Do you believe in divorce?
Yes, I do. But not over “nothing”…

How many people do you like right now?
One person in particular… Him aside; lots of!

What's the most annoying TV commercial?
All of them. I switch channels when they come on.

Favourite song at the moment?
Must be a The Who one. Let’s see… yes, “Mike post theme” from their new album.

If you've read all the way down here: Well done! And you didn't die of boredom either? Huh?

Monsoon

Plumbopyrochlore

I am utterly beat. Feels like I’ve been in a marathon. Mind blank, head is vacant, fingers weak, body numb, and mood crappy. Wonderful, just wonderful. And I still have tons of pages to read over the weekend in both psychology and law. Can’t wait; luckily there’s Saturday for that.

I love Christmas. It is my favourite time of the year. It’s what it means, its decorations and the cosiness of it. There is one thing I loathe though; the commercial communities’ early start. The bathing suits have hardly been packed away, before we are forced to celebrate Christmas, at least while out shopping and going through the mail. They start selling their special X-Mas marzipan and other candy in September, the catalogues for toys and gift ideas are out even before the last Easter eggs have been eaten. I cannot stress enough how much I detest this. It takes the wonder and the special feelings out of the Advent time and the “Christmas month” December. For every year that passes they start earlier. I am sure that in a few years time Christmas will actually start in August. Makes me sick to my stomach. It’s like one gets fed up with it before it even starts. My wish is for a world where Christmas, and I mean everything about it, isn’t allowed until Advent starts. There’s nothing wrong with celebrating then. I have a lot more on my mind, complaints that is, about the way Christmas is celebrated, but I will address that some other time.

I have found out that I am freakishly annoyed by sound, especially when I want to be alone, sleep, relax or just be… And by that I mean sound that I can’t control, mostly. Like on a flag pole there’s this thread that you use to hoist the flag with. Well when not in use this thread is making noises in the wind. Lawnmowers, in particular when they go on and on and on, the sound of the automatic train doors when open, screeching high pitched female voices, exaggerated use of chewing gum, and other loud banging noises that appear when I don’t want them to. Oh and one thing that annoys me, both because it is vulgar, inappropriate and infuriating; young teens on the train talking loudly about how disgustingly drunk they were, how many guys they fucked during the weekend, and how little they remember of it. *Chills* Yes, I am easily annoyed like that. People, in general don’t annoy me though. I am very patient. It might not sound like it, but I am!! Just ask my best friends. ;-)

Well, the freak of nature will shut her hole now.

I love to dance, listen to music, talk, laugh, play and read, just to mention a few things that don’t annoy me. Hehe…

Monsoon

Estoy terminada, actualmente...

Finished! Finito! Terminada! God that feels sooo good… ;-)

Yes, I am officially done. My exams, in two copies, are now stapled together and ready to be handed in tomorrow! I really really do hope that I got all my references, within the text, right. Tricky part, when you’ve never done it before. Thanks for all your suggestions. Now all you need is to pray that I will pass. Promise!?

We’ve been talking about Christmas presents lately, and I had planned to wish for an exercise bike from my parents. Well, was is the key word here… In fact I can’t wish for one, as I am too heavy to sit on them. The steel, or whatever sissy material it’s made of, would give in under my weight. Isn’t that just wonderful? I actually have to fucking loose weight before I can buy one. Makes you feel reeeally fit. We can send people to the moon and we can do the most amazing things within the field of science… However, making an exercise bike for those who truly need it; no, that one is too much of a challenge. It’s a weird weird world.

Eva and I were laughing our heads off by this last weekend. We found it to be tragically comical. I promised Eva to write about it. So there you go!

*Hopelessly devoted to you*. Lyrics that totally fit!

Which reminds me, I really do like the film they’re from. Can’t help it. Grease, that’s what I am talking about. Typical chick flick, but I like it nevertheless. Catchy music and I just love the “I am too cool to even smile and talk” attitude that the T-birds are showing off. Hilarious. Feel good film, and sometimes that’s just what one needs. Dirty Dancing is the same. Only that is a really good film, honestly. I think it holds one of the most erotic scenes ever. The song played as it happens is Solomon Burke with “Cry to me”, and it’s the first time they’re making love. The way they touch, “dance”, oh sigh. And when he pulls her t-shirt up; yes, that’s when we all feel darn right tingly… *lol* Nobody puts baby in a corner. Right you are!

I can hear that my tiny worms are calling me to play a game before going to bed. I played a most magnificent battle today. I had two worms against 17 other, and I bloody well went ahead and won. I am a brilliant strategist. Hihi…

Love and all other sorts of things

Monsoon :-) 

Dream, dream, dream, that's all

Congratulations to one of my best and closest friends, Rønnaug, who gave birth to healthy baby boy yesterday. His name is Andreas, after Rønnaug’s dad. And of course; congrats to the proud daddy as well, Tommy!
I have to admit that I started to cry when I got the text message… So happy for you guys!

Unwind.

This is what I needed right now, and so I gave myself that freedom. It tasted wonderful.

Yesterday I spent so many hours writing, that in the end my eyes started to run and sting. Then I said to myself, with a very firm voice; Monsoon do get up from that chair and do something else, before you grow a bedsore or even worse; before you grow into it completely. Do something nice. So I went to Eva. It was great to shift focus.

YEA!! Guess which lovely Canadian girl I got a beautiful, homemade I think, card from yesterday? It was Martha. It made my day Martha, just so you know it! Thanks so much!

Had two dreams that I remember last night, both of them recurring. First I was a Jewish girl in Poland during WW2. I was captured, of course, and ended up in Auschwitz. Fucking dreadful dream. All the things I endured, oh God! It seemed to last forever, and ended in the “showers”. Lovely. My next one was about Bob. It was just a normal day it seemed. I was making dinner, he was reading the paper. We ate, talked, and then we lay down on the coach. We just held each other… It was such a good feeling, but boy was it crappy to wake up and see that I was in fact completely alone. Yuk! So I just got up, put my woollen socks on and laughed at my own reflection, as I caught a glimpse of it in the bathroom mirror. I look insane in the morning. We have a “bad” saying for that kind of hair in the morning in Norway. We call it “fuck-hair”… Only I haven’t, so what’s my excuse? *lol* Also I look 45 in the morning. Why is that? Baggy eyes, dark circles under my eyes, or are my wrinkles more visible? Who knows? A combination of all of the above? Yes most likely…

I am nearly done with my exam now, and I am s glad! There’s only some nit picking left I think. I am happy with what I’ve done, and I know I couldn’t have done better. So as long as I pass, I am thrilled. Everything above E is fab! (A is the best, and F is fail) God, never thought I’d hear myself say that. But as I get better at writing in an academic way, I will have to expect better grades. The examination result will be released on December 7th. *quiver*

However, I am now going to move my tiny, intsy bitsy body into the living room to watch some TV, and eat Mövenpick ice cream. TO DIE FOR! I am what you would call an ice cream freak. A huge one! It’s like I have a stomach of my own just for ice cream. My dad is the same. Once when I was little he bet me that I couldn’t eat 2 litres of it. (US 0,53 gallons, UK 0,44) He lost. Yes, that’s how crazed I am for this stuff. And here this; it must, preferably, be eaten out of a Tupperware plastic bowl. It doesn’t taste as good in a glass bowl. Honest to God! I know; I am sick! *lol*

Bye bye baby bye bye

Monsoon

Ps I wish I could ring him up and say; why don't you come over here for a while... SIGH!

The neverending story

Really, I should be sick of writing, as my life seems to hold one thing; writing. And in particular these last days, when I’ve been working on my exam as well. But my writing is my escape, my way of calming down, and a way to sort my mind. Still stressed and worried, as I set high standards for myself school wise. However; I have promised myself this time, to give me a break. After all I’ve never done something like this before. So my goal is, hopefully, achievable, as I am happy as long as I pass. Ok, so happy might be a tad exaggerated, but at least I won’t have to do another exam, which is the case if I flunk it.

I couldn’t have done it without Agnete. She’s been great!! She gets my ideas, she understands my perspectives, and she isn’t afraid to correct me. Though she told me that her initial thought when reading my introduction was; “Why does Monsoon think she can’t write, this is very good”. So I guess I will have to start giving myself some credit. I might be able to write, but my problems are the structure, the theories and the way the assignments should “look”. There are certain rules to follow…

It’s been father’s day here. Although we never really celebrated those kinds of things at home, I bought some marzipan for my dad. He loves that. It was just a small token… I was at mum and dads for a roast dinner. We all sighed and moaned as we ate, because it tasted over- superbly! Mum and I could hardly stop eating, and we continued to eat out of the saucepans while cleaning up afterwards. I love meat, no question about it. Not so fond of the gamy flavour though, but I think that is the only one. Give me a well done steak, and I am yours! *lol* On Saturday I am going to start my challenge that my coacher gave me. That means not eating any meat, dairy products or my beloved tab x-tra for 10 days. Will I survive it? I will, yes… If not for any other reason than to prove to myself that I can do anything I set my mind to.

These last days have been brutal in the B-case. As the title said; the never ending story.

Well, I better post this and go. I need to relax myself, and I know just the thing ;-)

Monsoon