BACK, for good!?!

In between feeling mentally ill, I am again seeking comfort in my beloved computer. Yeah the love between us is unreal. I am still offline at home. However, as I am typing this, I am actually awaiting the PC doctor, Mr. S himself, a.k.a. my dad. He has promised to come down to help me. He thinks it’s some sort of network error, perhaps my network card has said bye bye… Luckily, he has one at home to replace it with, in that case. My dad fixes computers, he builds them, installs software and much more, just as a hobby, and he is very good!

Had a very good workout today. Felt great, and groase, afterwards. Groase cause I looked terrible. My face is so red that it’s beyond red! “Spot wisely red” that is… Soaking wet all over the place, swollen, and basically wonderful. *lol* But who cares? It’s good for me

Wrote this yesterday, and I am now back online!!! Thanks be to God! I won't go into what was wrong, because it was a silly little thing... I am just glad I didn't have to format my computer, cause that's just such a hassle! Last time I formatted, I did it myself, and I was well able to, but it takes a long time...

I am listening to The Who, although it actually makes my tummy go all weird on me. Just because it reminds me of someone in particular. Oh, who might that be I wonder. Only the most handsome, sexy and incredible man I have ever met.

I have bought myself a webcast ticket for "The Who" and "In the attic" too?!?, I hope, for July 2nd. They're "doing" Hyde Park. I am looking forward to it, and it will be the second best thing, as I can't be there in person. I am grateful that I am able to see it this way at least!

Friday it's football again. Italy versus Ukraine, and Argentina (yea!) versus Germany. I am rooting for Italy and Argentina. I have to say I was sooo relieved when Totti managed to score on overtime, and by that sending Italy to a quarter final. When Materazzi got a red card around 5 minutes into the second period, I thought all hope was lost. But as it turned out; it wasn't!

Awaited my grades in the mail today, but oooh nooo! I have to send a copy of them to the University within July 1st, so I hope I will get it tomorrow at least. If not, I will have to give out to someone... I certainly hope for a 5 in math.

I miss him. I miss him so much, and it makes me sad, and mad too... Why do I have to love someone who is married? Why do I care so much for him? Why do I long for him, sexually and emotionally? Why do I find him so hot that thinking about him makes me smile the widest I have ever smiled? Why can't I seem to accept the fact that HE CAN NEVER BE MINE?

For fuck's sake; I just want to remove my feelings, be a robot, be a cold person, and never waste love on someone who doesn't want it, ever again! I have been heartbroken before, but those sorrows disappear and feel totally insignificant to the way this makes me feel. I am tired...

I am not in a very good mood today, so I think I will try to work out to see if that helps. Sometimes it does.

Monsoon

Furious

My bloody computer, or my router, who knows, has stopped working properly. So I have no access to the internet, other than at my parents house. Of course this had to happen when my dad is in Germany at a Radio Amateur thingy... I can't see what is wrong. It worked fine when I went to bed, and then when I woke up yesterday to turn it on, suddenly I wasn't able to get a connection.

I was so amd yesterday that I nearly threw the whole thing out of my window. if there is one thing which annoys me it is techinal misbehaviours... Aarghh!!!

So I probably won't be posting a whole lot before the problem is fixed. Pray God i don't have to format the fucking bastard! (pardon my french)

Love Monsoon :-)

Football

Like we all know by now, it’s the world cup in football/soccer, hereafter called football.
In that case I have pondered upon the fact why I have disliked football for a while. I couldn’t understand why. I used to play football, and not only that, I used to watch football, I had my favourite teams and so on. I really liked it, but then I suddenly started to dislike it. Why?

I blame my brother, partly, because he was such a HUGE Man U, and Germany fan, that whenever he was to watch a game the rest of the family had to make ourselves scarce. And why? Well, he was acting really mental. Screaming, shouting, crying, jumping up and down, swearing like there was no tomorrow, hitting the chairs, the sofa, the doors, and I could go on… My point is; it was unendurable to us all. Especially since, I was in no hurry to become a Man U or Germany fan.

I remember one year, it was in 1992, and as football fans will remember; Denmark beat Germany in the finals of the European Cup. When this happened, my family was at a Danish camping site, on our way to Germany. My brother watched the game with tons of people whom all cheered for Denmark. So he felt utterly alone and furious when the whole place exploded the minute Denmark’s victory was a fact.

Kinda strange as Denmark actually wasn’t even qualified for the European Cup. They only got to play because a civil war had broken out in Yugoslavia, so the Yugoslavians were shut out.

Ok, so I think the reason why I have disliked football is that I have had “over-too-much” crazed mania of it at home. But I will tell you this; I have started to like it again.
Watched Italy beat The Czech Rep. today. Have seen several more games as well, and my favourite one has to be Argentina versus Serbia and Montenegro, where Argentina won 6-0. The goal made by Cambiasso was nothing short of amazing, mostly because so many passes were made, and just like that, the ball was in the net!

So I am sure that some of my friends will kill me now. But there you go!

I am working out every day, with few exceptions, and I am eating so healthy that I am sure my body is in total shock and disbelief. Carrots and cabbage all the way! Woohoo!
I am very proud of myself, for not sinking into a state of numbness and lack of initiative. You know from being all messed up over the Bob thing. But, I am fighting for my life, literally, so I guess quitting is no option! I am very much up for living at the moment, I have so much I want to do before I am ready to "hee ha" the hell out of here!

I am going to Hege tonight, and tomorrow I am picking up Agnete, my psychologist friend, at the airport. She is coming home from Oslo. Can't wait to see her! We always have million thing to discuss, and I really enjoy spending time with her. As for the weekend; my very good friend Irene, who got married in April, is coming home too. Irene is a teacher, and has a master/major/honours degree in English. (will look up the word...)
Ah! Love the summer! All my good friends come home. So many of my best friends live in either Oslo or Bergen, which is far from here... Blargh! But thank God, I do have vey good friends that live around here too!! :-)

I am shutting up now!

Love and hugs and kisses too, especially to Bob, *lol*.

Monsoon :-)

Some more things I like

These beautiful candlelight holders Karin gave me last X-mas. When they are lit they look magnificent!














This kitchen scale mum gave me, and the combined clock and timer I got myself. I just thought it looked so cool and kinda retro, especially since it was red.













I got this radio from my ex in-laws for X-mas two years ago. It sits fine in my kitchen!














Can you totally tell I am one huge fan of the colour red? Fire, heat and passion you know... *lol*

A few things of mine that I like

This is my teddybear. I got when I was one month old, and I slept with in my bed until I was 14 years old. A bit old to keep a teddy, but I loved it! Look how cute and worn out he is. His arms have fallen off him trillion times, and have been sawn back on. The red on his leg is in fact a sock tied around to keep the "filling" from falling out of his poor body.

















This is a bathroom sign one of my best friends Eva made for me. I really like it, and I love getting things which are homemade!














These three pictures my brother Tor Egil made me. Highly appreciated!

All I wanna do....

.... is eat some sweets!

Yessss! Me want! But I can't have, cause it's not Friday. I will have to wait, although the urge to cave in, is riding my body like a horse on the loose! Jaysis, For the love and honour of God!
Leave me alone. Bad urge! *lol*

Yes, I am freaking out, next stop is the loony bin.

I will go and eat some "summer cabbage" instead. It tastes just as good as crisps and chocolate, right? *trying to fool ones brain*



Look doesn't this look exactly
like a bar of "twix" and paprika crisps? It really does!








Enough, I am going to watch some TV now.

Monsoon - the craving mental case, who is also suffering from another thing today: severe wantonness. (aren't you glad I am so not open?) *lol*

A lot of posting today for some odd reason

Dream of me

Let me sleep
For when I sleep
I dream that you are here
You’re mine
And all my fears are left behind
I float on air
The nightingale sings gentle lullabys
So let me close my eyes

And sleep
Per chance to dream
So I can see the face I long to touch
To kiss
But only dreams can bring me this
So let the moon
Shine softly on the man I long to see
And maybe when he dreams
He’ll dream of me

A very nice song. Kirsten Dunst sings it, and she actually has a beautiful voice. These are just some of the lyrics.

But so true right now, and boy am I tired of "living only in my dreams". I fucking want some reality! Reality that is going my way! Ok, so I do live healthy and work out, and to some extent my life is great. I am going to start my education now, and in three years I will be finished. But in one departement it sucks, so much! He saved my soul, my heart, my brain, my everything, and he opened me up to the world, and all just from being... I care so much for this man and I can't stop. He will be with me forever I think. Somewhere in me... forever...

I have a friend who was so annoyed at her mad and scary dreams, compared to what she calls my dreams; perfect and pre-ordered. She said how relieved she was every time she got to wake up and see that it was all a dream. I then said to her; well at least you get to wake up and feel glad and happy. When I wake up I just kinda want to go to sleep again cause my dreams are, sadly, better than reality right now... Ok, I see your point she then said...

I know that it's my "period-crazed-way-to-emotional-sad-selfpity'd-mood" speaking today. But I always write what I feel at the exact moment I am writing, and sometimes that creates some "mad" and sad writing. And for God's sake; I am bleedin allowed to be a bit gloomy. Who isn't when they have said goodbye to someone they love?

I have not tidied my utility room. I looked into it and closed the door. Didn't know where to start. So let's hope I will cop on and do it tomorrow.

Can't wait to see Stina again. I haven't seen her since last Tuesday, and I haven't been able to talk to her either. She is without a phone, she lost it two weeks ago. (it was a mobile phone)

Monsoon :-) - who is happy inside, only with a touch of sadness -

Can you believe...

.... that these are dolls?!? Wow ! Amazing! They are so lifelike that it's uncanny!















I am really impressed by this Norwegian dollmaker.

Just wanted to share this. Must be terrific to have such skills...

Monsoon :-)

Puke!

I am in such a "puky" mood, that I even disgust myself. But as usual it's that time of the month, and so that is the cause of this state of mind. Woke up with a terribly aching tummy, due to Bob. What a brilliant start. Not only that; he "haunts me" in my sleep too. I woke up at 2, and 5 and both times I had dreamt about him. Plus at 10 when I at last got up.

I did work out today though, yea to me!

I MISS HIM DREADFULLY! His big brown eyes... Oh kill me!

I am now going to start tidying and cleaning this place. It sure need a facelift, no doubt! I am starting with the utility room. Really messy room, I use it for storage as well as washing my clothes. I am so up for it, NOT!

Hate feeling down down down like this. At least I know that it will pass.

Blargh!

Monsoon

The results of being heartbroken...

... is a garden that is taking shape, slowly, but steadfast... Plus some more stuff that I won't get into...

From totally overgrown with grass, to a straight edged nice tidy look. And so much easier to cut the grass. Took me ages! The grass was so tough and in the end I was swearing and giving out to it. Bet the neighbours got a good laugh out of that. I am always talking to myself... :-) (is that a sign of good mental health, or not!?)

















This bed looks flowery and colourful, but it's an illusion! It took me three and a half hours to weed. You wouldn't believe the state of it. I will admit that since I moved in here two years ago this bed has been sitting there, unattended, until now. Now wonder it was horribly jungle-like. It looks a bit sad now, but that's just because I haven't planted anything yet. I think it's too late now. But just wait till next spring!

















Yesterday I worked out for half an hour, and then I went out and worked in the garden for over two hours. God I'm good! *lol* I have found out that I actually like being outside in the garden. I like getting muddy and dirty. And that wonderful feeling of a hot shower after having done some real work, you know what I mean!?! And by God; the sleep I get is unbelievable!

I am so restless that I need to do something to keep him off my mind. Yeah because it's all so helpful... He is on my mind like a constant craving. I wanted to reply to the e-mail I got back, to address what he wrote. But I haven't done so, and I won't either. I can't bother him anymore. (sadly)

Anyhoow... The weather is still lovely. And today I have waxed my legs for the first time. Sick and tired of shaving. I don't know why everybody thinks waxing is so painful... What "sissies" they are!! I don't think it was like summer camp, but totally survivable and more!
Yes, my waxing history is probably what you desperately needed, eh!?

"Det sies vi skal mødes igen, så længe hjertet slår, vinter bliver til vår..." - Sebastian - A Danish singer that I love. It means: "it's said we'll meet again, as long as the heart beats, and winter turns to spring..." Lovely song!

I'll go now.

Monsoon :-) - WHY!?!?!? -

It's the Monsoon residence, lady of the house speaking

What a beautiful day it has been. Not too warm, just right. Like I wrote earlier, I have been out for several hours working. I love working outside, so much more fun than bloody housework, which I loathe!
Last Saturday I spent 3 hours plucking weed, and I had forgotten to put sunscreen on. My poor upper back got badly burnt from the sun, and I'm still recovering. So I took precautions today!

Spent a good few hours at my parents house. I got money from my grandad, just for being so good and so smart. - Those were his words - Mum had told him about my Spanish grade. Sorely needed money, so I am not complaining.

Then I drove to Eva, and spent some time with her. She is great!

Driving home I realized that the sea was like a carpet. So still, which is insanely rare around here! (It is almost always windy you see.) So I stopped at a picnic area for cars, which is located very close to the sea. Got out of the car and just listened to... nothing... silence...

Tried to take pictures with my mobile, but though it was quite bright outside, apparently it wasn't bright enough. Which reminds me; I can't wait to by that new mobile that I have been drooling over for the past 7 months. It has a real digital camera on it. The pictures I will be taking then, will be significantly better than the ones I take with my current phone.














I wonder what he is doing right now? Aaarghh! Must not think about him. But he is just so handsome, good-looking, sexy, funny, intelligent ++++ that I can't help myself.

It's soon midnight. Still somewhat bright outside. There's one more thing to love about summer; there is so much light! Not like those short winter days. Yuk!


Aaahh... so sad looking...

But I wasn't sad when this was taken. I just kinda liked it to be honest. even though my forehead is bumpy and weird...








Monsoon

Keeping up appearances

Yeah that's me these days. Not only that, but I am also keeping myself preoccupied to try to prevent myself from thinking about Bob.
Today I have been picking weed from my garden, and the gravelled drive way. I have tidied around the house and cut the grass as well. It took my quite some time. My hip is killing me, so I guess I overdid it. Not that it helped. If there was one thought that seemed constant it was the one who wasn't supposed to be there... Gee!! Honest to God, so not shocking!

"Maybe there's beauty in goodbye?" - The Veronicas are streaming out from my speakers - My answer to that is: No!!

Yesterday was my first trip with the BMW. Driving it was like an orgasm, not kidding you! I really took pleasure in it! Loud music, singing and enjoying the way a BMW feels on the road. Wow!

I am going to have a shower. I look a mess; dirty, tearful, sweaty and yukky!

Going now... But first this:

Bargain - The Who - some of the splendid lyrics

I'd gladly lose me to find you
I'd gladly give up all I had
To find you I'd suffer anything and be glad

I'd pay any price just to win you
I'd work all my life and I will
To win you I'd stand naked, stoned and stabbed

I'd call that a bargain
The best I ever had
The best I ever had

I'd gladly lose me to find you
I'd gladly give up all I got
To catch you I'm gonna run and never stop

I'd pay any price just to win you
Surrender my good life for bad
To find you I'm gonna drown an unsung man

I'd call that a bargain
The best I ever had
The best I ever had

I sit looking 'round
I look at my face in the mirror
I know I'm worth nothing without you
And like one and one don't make two

One and one make one
And I'm looking for that free ride to me
I'm looking for you


Love Monsoon

Not so exceedingly happy, suddenly...

I have said goodbye to the best human being I've ever met; Bob. I got him a little gift, which he appreciated a lot. He was tanned, he smelled divine, looked gorgeous, and all I wanted to do was to hold him and never let go. When I was going to hand the gift to him, my hands trembled so much that I felt utterly embarrassed. But what was I to do? I couldn't just run, could I?!

Sent him an e-mail, without hope or agenda. I just had to get it all out of my system. Got a mail back, which had me crying. Though I understand why he wrote what he did. But right now I feel unable to deal with it. It's too painful. This "loss" is already harder and more brutal on me than any losses I might have experienced before. WHAT A FUCKING WASTE!!

I feel empty, numb and blinded by sorrow over the horrible truth and reality of it all. Why does he think I want, or need, someone younger? I don't! I just want him. But he of course doesn't know that I tend to only like men his age... And women for that matter... To me he is perfection. But obviously I've always known that he would never be mine. Of course I have! But that fact doesn't lessen the pain.

I have to say this to myself, although it's like talking to yourself, but who gives a shite?!?: Time is your friend, and in time he will fade away to a good memory of someone great who affected your life, and touched your soul like no one ever had. Someone you felt connected to on all levels of life, and who brought out the best in you. You just have to let him go. (but I don't want to!!)

My biggest fear is that I never will feel this way again. According to my mum, who has followed this case since it's beginning in january last year, I have to be prepared for that. She thinks that this really was my BIG ONE, and that although I might love someone else, it won't be like this. I agree. To use the words of "Baby" in "Dirty Dancing"; ... but most of all I am afraid of never feeling the way I feel when I'm with you...
I think it went something like that.

My friends are great. Karin called to my flat after work. She brought chinese take-away with her, for me. But Malin was coming, so I feel I chased her out the door. (Sorry Karin, I didn't mean to! I was just a bit "crazy" there, sad and crying, and trying not to. I don't think I know what I said. ) Then Hege came, she too had food with her for me. Then Rønnaug came too. She stayed until 9. Unfortunately I have been unable to eat anything today. My stomach is acting a bit loony. I call it the "dreading something stomach ache". Hopefully tomorrow will be better. Not that there is any immediate emergency followed by me not eating *lol*

I am worn out.

Have to get some sleep, I am so tired my eyes sting and I can't see what I'm typing.

I don't want to sleep. Or I don't want to lie in bed. It''s all too quiet then, and unwanted thoughts start wandering about in my big, silly, unloveable, totally in love with the wrong man, head.

Monsoon I want to be a robot!!!!

More good news!

I GOT A 6 ON MY SPANISH!!!!

Got one grade on the oral exam, and one on the written, and together there was, according to my teacher, no doubt that I should get a 6!

I am so happy, and so proud of myself. My teacher said that he was very glad I got a 6, because I so totally deserved it, and that I had been a great pupil and an asset in class! Yea!!!

Monsoon The happy one!!! :-)

Exceedingly happy!

I AM FINALLY UNDER THAT "MAGIC" NUMBER (in weight)
SOOOO HAPPY!

Actually 600 grams under. I screamed when I saw it, and started to dance around like a lunatic. Woohoo! Jaysis, I can't believe it.

Had Spanish oral exam today, and I think it went well. One teacher who sat in during my hearing cause she wanted to see how it was done, came over to afterwards and said: "You were soo good! I am extremely impressed, I must say. And to be that good after just two years of learning"...

Two years? I wish! I've only learned Spanish for 5,5 whole months, intense months I might add. (Started in September, and had 2,5 months of school before X-mas, and then 3 whole months after X-mas.)

So I guess I have to be pleased no matter what the outcome. I have no idea. I have written exam tomorrow, and then tomorrow evening I will get my grade. I only get one grade, from the two exams.

Couldn't help myself

I found this picture of my parents car in the classifides on the web. Although sold it hadn't been removed from the "so you want to buy a car" pages...

It looks totally metallic grey/silver, but it actually has a hint of blue too. Difficult to see maybe.



But; back to Spanish, or breakfast first perhaps. I think I'll have cornflakes and banana today.

What? No title? I can't think of anything...

The world is an unfair place sometimes. I won’t go into it, but I will say this; she didn’t deserve what she got. Not by far! Usually I never think like that, cause I am not an evil person. But she just asks for it. She isn’t nice, you can’t trust her as far as you can throw her, she spreads rumours that are false and destroying, and she fucks, talks, cries and smirks her way into “blind” people’s hearts. Yuk! Can you tell I’m not very fond? (By blind, I mean people who can’t see her for what she is)

Enough about that. My oral exam is tomorrow. I am so glad that I am not at all nervous. HA-HA! As if! However, there is nothing more to do. I have done my best, to a certain extent at least. Now it’s up to my brain to collect and gather all the information, and for my tongue not to fall asleep, so that I will be able to say something smart…

Blogger is down tonight, so this post might not be posted before tomorrow, Thursday that is… We’ll see.

On Monday, my parents bought a new car. Finally! But it was worth the wait, because they got a BMW!!! I am so happy they did. My dad and I just sat in the car yesterday, “playing” with it. We sighed and smiled, and admired the engine. Wow! It’s a BMW 520 TDS from 1998. It runs on diesel, and has an automatic gear. I was surprised when I saw it, cause it certainly doesn’t look 8 years old. I love those cars, and when I get rich, I am so going to get one. Yeah, like that is ever going to happen. *lol* I will never be rich, but I might be able to afford one anyways…
I don’t know what it is, but somehow cars, and especially BMWs, interest me. I like a nice car I have to admit. Bob drives a very fine specimen. I had been drooling over that car on the parking outside, and one day I saw that it was his. I think my heart skipped a beat… No, I am just kidding, but he has good taste in cars he does!

Because of the fecking digging out here on the road, they are turning off the water supply tomorrow. From nine in the morning until one in the afternoon, which is a long time! It’s then you see how extremely lucky we are to have water the way we do, and also how we are dependent on it as well.

I think I will have to do something very relaxing now, so that I will be able to sleep. Just what that is; well, that’s my secret. “Look at me, I’m not revealing all”

Meanwhile; my weight is painfully slowly going down. At least it’s going down… I sat a new work-out time record today: An impressive, to me, 34 minutes. I was so sweaty that my hair was all wet, just like after a shower. I look kinda ridiculous, but that’s ok. I feel great after such a work-out. I cooked dinner wearing my bra and shorts. I was roasting, and hungry, so there you go!

Think of me tomorrow, please! I am meeting at the school at 12.30. Please God!

Love and hugs from nervous and trembling Monsoon xxx

Ps Just checked Blogger, and it’s still not up. So this will we posted tomorrow. It’s now nearly 23.30 (11.30 pm)

Pss Bob had cut his hair. He was so handsome, that it was on the verge of being painful. *lol*

Some mighty boring zzztuff...

I can't seem to write anything that is worth reading. My mind is mercilessly filled with one thing, and that is... Bob! Gee, I bet you all got really surprised there...

I miss him every second I don't see him. And I don't even know what I'm missing. But on some level I do. I just "know" him, without really knowing... Does that make sense? No, but it's hard to explain. Impossible to explain actually. I just know that he is "in" me, like no other person ever has been.

Haven't been able to study this weekend, so I must go to school tomorrow. I just have to. I bet I will be the only perosn there. Who cares?! I can't seem to get that much needed inner tranquillity to study at home.

But I am living healthy, working out, and being more active on the whole. Which is good, and the thought of that makes me smile.

The exams this week are making me nervous, big time! I am so scared I will not be able to talk at all, like if someone muted me. I don't want to disappoint my teacher. Ah! That is such a silly thought! Like he cares? Why do I worry about every minuscule thing?

Talked to Vegar on Msn today, he is at his homeplace on holiday. He is funny, and I can really be myself with him. We have such dirty minds at times. I have to say that I like being a bit dirty occasionally.... It's entertaining. *lol* One doesn't have to be vulgar though... Wonder if Bob is dirty sometimes? He is insanely funny, so... I bet he is. We all are, every now and then, or!?!

I am tired, so therefore I will now stop this writing, which, by the way, is so boring that my computer tried to erase it.

I hope for a more alert, fun and "a-not-so-full-of-Bob" - mind tomorrow!

Monsoon :-) Be good!

Sorry for the way the last post looks like. It's just that when you post more than one picture blogger has a tendency to behave in a very annoying way. When I create the post it does not look like that, but once published is goes all mental... So there you go. I've tried to fix it, but this one is being very difficult indeed.

Monsoon :-)

Engrish

I simply love playing with words, sentences, creating weird words, translating Norwegian words directly inot English, and bla bla bla. It can be so funny!! Yesterday I found this site that shows some very unfortunate and hilarious uses of the English language. Found in different countries all over the world; www.engrish.com







This might be the bar for the lonely and lustful?! You will get some apparently.




















This would also be a good choice if you're horny, and poor. Bargain!!




















Eeeeh!?!?! I would call this a very bad choice for a name, of anything at all... Appealing? Maybe to insanely desperate men? But I don't think so. "So do you want to go vulva tonight?" Who
came up with this name I wonder, and what the hell was he/she thinking?! *lol*



















This one was just funny...


















If you're in the mood for some plastic bag abuse... this is certainly the place.

After reading this I sat thinking; He? What? Why? Virgin bloody Mary? What do you ever mean?!?

There is no way I can figure out what the feck they are trying to say here...

When he smiles, I want to scream cause he is so sexy

I saw him today. Gorgeous being. I was going to ask the woman he sat with in the lunch break room for something. Went in, and he looked up and said hey, hey, and he actually smiled. I nearly fainted with amazement, so I’m mot even sure I said hey back. (Bleedin annoying, I probably stood there like a fecking shaking idiot!) How typical of me is that? Well, it’s not very typical, like normally, but when he is around I seem to do the strangest things… Even lose my ability to speak, which I rarely do.

According to my dad, I am not one who gets easily speechless, so to him Bob is truly something out of the ordinary, if he can silence me. Dad says I started to talk, and sing, before I was one year, and I never stopped…*lol* So I asked him should I stop being me. He didn’t want that, so then I guess I’m ok. I like talking, and I love conversations about all and nothing. However, I am also very able to listen, and to be quiet with someone. To sit and ponder upon life, and just be there, together…

Oh my God! On http://www.gaysir.no/, there are many spelling mistakes, like in so many other places. I am extremely preoccupied with orthography, in Norwegian that is. (my English isn’t “perfect” since I am Norwegian, and I admit that in here I write a mix of English and some Irish “slang", so I am not particular with the orthography… Sorry *blushing*)

The following sentence is an example of a Norwegian girl who is trying to be dirty, but ends up being hilarious instead; “Put your tung in between my ties".

After some detective work, I have found out that what she was aiming at writing was this: “imagine your tongue in between my thighs” which are lyrics from a song called “How many licks”. Instead she wants you to put your tung in between her tie?!
I roared laughing when I saw this on a profile on Gaysir.

Had Chinese with my family, and mum paid for my dinner too. She is so nice. I came home here at around seven, and then at eight Hege came for a visit. She just left, and its now one o'clock.
Had good evening.

After sleeping, so now I guess one could say it's really Saturday. I've been to Bryne to replace my in-ear headphones. I bought them 8 months ago, and since KOSS have lifetime warranty I got new ones. Yea!




This is Stina. Again a much too red poor quality picture. And again it was my mobile's doing...

I just met Stina last January, but she quickly became one of my best friends. She is amazing, funny, loving and loves to talk. We can talk about anything and she never judges me, not even for my silliness, thoughtlessness, and weirdness.

I am now going out to mowe the lawn. The weather is sunny, but windy, as ususal here.

Hugs from Monsoon xxx

Another update, hear! hear!

Went out to cut the grass. To my astonishment the mower started immediately, so I didn't have to fight it like last time. When I say grass, I think I will have to admit that the word jungle probably would be a more accurate description of my so called garden... Yikes!
While cutting, bugs fell down on me at all times from the birches, and this had me in a fit! Then I removed some weed, tried desperatly to determine what were flowers and what was weed, tried to wrestle the roses, got stung by a thorn, swore, gave up and thought to myself; "I will have to get hard gloves to remove this, it's bleedin dangerous out here, and "how to be a gardener" on BBC has to become compulsory from now on", came in and worked out for 25 minutes. I think I might have over done it. My body feels like its been beaten. Ouch! Ah well, what doesn't kill me, eh!?

And until next time; enjoy yourselves!

I sinned today

This was my lunch today, and as tempting as it looked, I have to admit that I actually went out and bought myself lunch today. So after a few bites this went straight in the bin. I couldn't swallow, it just didn't taste good. Since starting school in September I've done this four times, counting today, so it's not like I've spent tons of money on lunch. So I had a chicken sandwich thingy instead, and it tasted yummy! But today my mum gave me a nice boxed ham, so I'll put that on my bread for tomorrow. Hopefully I will be able to swallow... *lol*

Once this week Bob has said hi to me, and that certainly made my day. It takes so little to make me smile, all the way home... I find it odd how one person can make my whole body tremble, even after liking him for over a year. When I see him I can feel my hands shaking, heart pounding like there's no tomorrow, I start smiling and I can't seem to stop, plus my cheeks go red, really boiling hot red. One would think that these "bodily reactions" would calm the feck down, but nooo!

It is sad. I am a sad case. I know. And I have no problems what so ever to admit it. But, the human brain, heart and soul are strange and difficult to understand at times. I've just found something in him that speaks to me, and I know in my heart that I have never felt like this. Anyhow... In a little over a week I will probably never see him again. I can't think about it. And I keep looking for a reason for this happening to me. What am I supposed to learn? It'll take me ages to get over him, I certainly need a closure!

Have been at Eva's tonight. Great seeing her. I love her. She is going to Trond again tomorrow, cause Monday is a Bank Holiday here.

I have had severe headaches this last week, and I had to go home from school early today cause it was so so bad. Went to mum, and she gave me a sorely needed, and PAINFUL massage. I screamed and wanted to run out of there, as it felt like she was stabbing me or something. No pain, no gain I guess. Head is better now, luckily. It's not your normal headache, it's my sinuses. Got trouble with them you see...
So no workout today. Just couldn't, the pain was too much.

I need sleep, so I'll pack up and go to bed now. I am just sooo.... you know.... I can't get myself to write it... But I really am that thing. *lol* I am weird.

Monsoon - dreading Spanish exam next Thursday and Friday. "Take me away from here"