Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition

I am hungry!! Hungry, do you hear!? In addition I am dying for sweets so much I bet I could smell a Snickers bar from 100 metres away. Eating small dinner portions sucks, well so far anyway. It’s always like that in the beginning. Isn’t it now that I am supposed to tell myself the following: Oh how nice that gnawing stabbing hungry feeling is in my stomach… Especially as that means I am living healthy and depriving myself from “all” of life’s goodies. I think it would be easier if I at least had a boyfriend I could munch on. Not literally, but someone (BOB!!) to do certain things with. Ya know…
*blushing as I am sounding awfully desperate* Hihi…

Feeling hungry reminded me of an Ellen episode where she is on this spa trip with her friend Paige. They think it’s a pampering spa, but as it turns out it is a “eat nothing and work the hell out” spa… One day the leader tells Ellen: “It is now you should listen to the voice within telling you to get up early, work out and eat healthy.” Ellen replies: “Funny, my voice is saying sleep in late, eat whatever you want, you can wear baggy clothes.” *lol*

I got two lovely things in the mail today; “Ellen”, complete series 4, and “Mad about you”, complete series 2. Woo hoo!

Three weeks ago I bought the ingredients for this cake I was going to try to make. I emphasize try, as you all know I am not exactly a gourmet cook. (Although would love to be insanely good at cooking) For some reason the vanilla custard is still standing beside the fridge, and every time I go to open its door, the custard kinda smirks at me… I might consider doing something about that. The only problem is; will I honestly be able to have a cake in the freezer and not eat it? I am not sure I want to find out. Surely the cake would lie in there saying to me, in a most seductive way; “Monsoon, come… come… come… eat me…” until I just cave in… Isn’t that always the case? Like when out shopping; I swear that packet of crisps jumped into the trolley itself, as did the ice cream.

This is “komle” by the way. It looks disgusting. But don’t let that fool you, as the taste is divine… One of my absolute favourite dinners!!!


Komle is made of uncooked potatoes that we mash into “porridge”, and then we mix it with flour. We form them into small round things and cook them. Then we eat it with salted lamb, turnip and carrot. However; I do not like cooked carrot or turnip so none of that for me. The plate displayed here is therefore my dad’s, as my brother ordered me to take a picture of dad’s plate instead of mine. Mine was apparently too sad looking… So what if I don’t like cooked carrot or turnip. I do like all other vegetables, so there! *lol*

I am now going to watch Ellen I think... Or kill some worms? (the game, not real worms mind you)

Monsoon - wacky head -

Ps Was at Eva's today! Lovely!

VISITOR NR 2000...

...just ticked in. Cool!! Just had to point that out, as it was such "round" number. 
Can you say that in English? I honestly do not know. He/she was from United Kingdom. 

Endless wire, and endless love

Approximately 4o years ago two girls were out walking when a car stopped beside them. In the car were 4 boys, who asked the girls to get in for a ride. One of the girls wanted to see of any of the boys were cute, before she said yes, so she peeked in. She saw one, and got in and sat beside him. On the 30th of October that year, 1966, they became a couple. They were 14 and 16 at the time. Today they are 54 and 56, and are celebrating their 40th year as boyfriend/girlfriend. I am talking about my parents.

They have taught me so much about true love. The kind which even after years together, still can make you giggle and feel like you just met.

Dad calls home several times a day, and in the car on his way home. He can’t wait to get home to see my mum, that’s all… They are “always” together, and they hardly ever do anything without the other. I remember when my dad worked away from home like 7 years ago. At the day of his arrival, mum would dance around and sing: “My boyfriend is coming home, my boyfriend is coming home”. All while she smiled the biggest smile, and had a look of happiness and anticipation in her eyes. They have never been afraid to show us kids that they love and care for each other. We have always been able to see them kiss, hug and flirt with each other, and they still look like they are “giddy in love like two 18 year olds”. It’s wonderful! How do they keep the spark even after 40 years? Wow. I congratulate it and take my hat off, as this is hardly the norm these days. I am not saying they are the only ones who are like this, of course...
But one hears about so many couples who do stay together, but maybe for other reasons than the two of them as a couple. Perhaps for the sake of the kids, or for the sake of security, anxiety and “out of the habit of it”. But true passionate love, the lasting kind, is actually hard to find. So mum and dad; I love you, and thanks so much for letting me grow up in a home where love was obvious and where I was always allowed to be myself.

Meanwhile I am now holding the new The Who album in my hands, and it is playing on my computer. Aah! *Sighing and smiling like a fecking idiot.* But I cannot describe my gratitude to Pete for releasing the utterly desperate and amazing song; in the ether. I first heard it on “Basement Jam” last year, and it blew me away.

I went and said hi to Vegar today. Just a quick visit, as he was at work, and I was on my way to buy The Who. We are going out together nest Tuesday after school and work. Looking forward to it.

Really utterly annoyed that Viking lost 4-1 last night. I so don’t want them to play in "1. division." Yuk! But it looks bad.

I have this insane headache, it’s fucking killing me. I might lie down. I am sure it’s because of the lack of “the unmentionable”, aren’t you!? *lol*

This is mum and dad at their wedding day in 1972, two years before they had me.




Monsoon - looking for that lasting kind - (found him, but need to find new)

Football much...

Hi! I am watching football again. Viking is basically fighting for their 
life in the top series in Norway.
The standing is 1-1 right now. At 20.30 Helen is coming to me as well, which is why I don't think I'll write anything today. But I can say I've had a relaxing and good day.  

Going to school tomorrow, and after that: BUYING THE WHO'S NEW ALBUM!!!! YEEEA!!

Monsoon

A quick one while he's away

I am watching Series A, Inter versus Milan... Inter 2 Milan 0 after half time. Oooh! Exciting. I really hope they can hold out and win. It's extra important to beat the crap put of Milan, as they're both Milano teams. I'll be back after the match and do some writing. Stankovic scored a beeeautiful goal. I think that so far in the series he is Inter's best player. I feel so silly sitting here screaming in ecstasy when Inter scores. The people under me must find me a tad weird that gets all wound up watching football all alone. What should I do though? None of my friends, nearby, are football fans at all.

YEEEAAAHHH!!!! Inter won!! 4-3.

I am telling you; holy mother what a match. What drama, what heat and intensity, and not the least; excitement!! My heart was pounding like crazy! Hair is standing straight up because I've been pulling it so much. When I am nervous I seem to do all these weird things like pull my hair, jump up and down, and squeeze my teeth!? Italian football rule! I simply must go to Italy to see a match.

Other than that I've had a very pregnant Rønnaug on a visit, she is due in two weeks. Looking fab! It was lovely to see her, and I enjoy spending time with her. When she left I don't know what I did, probably something boring like hell. At around half 5 I went to Karin to "teach" her some Spanish words and sentences. She is going to Mexico in less than two weeks.

That visit taught me that I definitely need to touch up on my Spanish. I know what I will do tomorrow. Write Elise an e-mail to practise. If I get the time. I am going home to mum and dad for "komle". A norwegian dish which I have a very hot relationship with; I love it, deeply. *lol* I'll take a picture for you to see. It looks quite vile actually, as it consists of grey lumps, meat, turnip and melted butter. But I will tell you this; it does taste wonderful.

Eva and I had chinese yesterday, and we had a terrific evening together. She is great that girl.

There isn't so much more to say, as there's still mostly one thing on my dimwit brain; "he-who-shall-not-be-mentioned"

Monsoon

Tomorrow, tomorrow, the sun will come out

I want to run
I want to hide
I want to tear down the walls
That hold me inside
I want to reach out
And touch the flame
Where the streets have no name

I want to feel, sunlight on my face
See that dust cloud disappear without a trace
I want to take shelter from the poison rain
Where the streets have no name

Yes, that is exactly what I want to do. That’s where I want to go, that’s what I want to do.
“Where the streets have no name” has always managed to take me wherever that unknown place might be. It takes me so high, because of its terrific guitar and energy. I am totally in “Oh dear God I would just die without music” mode today, so I thought I’d post my TOP 15 songs, at the moment, of U2 and The Who.

U2

Out of control
Bad
With or without you
Mysterious ways - has to be the version from bootleg CD “Outside Broadcast”
Where the streets have no name
Silver and gold
Exit
Dirty day
Acrobat
So cruel
The unforgettable fire
When I look at the world
Party girl
Ultra violet
Tomorrow

The Who

Bargain
The seeker
Love reign o’er me
Baba O’Riley
Too much of anything
Relay
Pure and easy
Won’t get fooled again
Pinball wizard
Time is passing
Song is over - has to be the version where he starts singing the lyrics from “Pure and easy” at the end. Un-fucking-believable!!!
Behind blue eyes
Love ain’t for keeping
Join together
Going mobile

An event is about to take place coming Monday. My beloved The Who are giving out their next album; Endless Wire. Oh holy crap! I can't wait! I will definitely be buying it in town on Monday. It's been how many years since they last released a studio album? I think it's like 24 years, which means that as a fan I have never experienced a release.
No wonder I am giddy and excited like crazy! LOVE THEM!!

Well we had our Blue Cross presentation today and the teachers praised our work afterwards. I was quite nervous beforehand, but I managed to look calm and collect, and I even smiled and laughed a little. Remarkable! I am glad it’s over, and tomorrow I can just sit down and relax myself listening to the rest… Aaaah…

So tomorrow my new life starts. I am excited. And for once I am looking forward to it.
And for you supportive ones out there; this isn’t a diet, not at all. Diets don’t work. If they did I don’t think anyone would be overweight. I am trying to make this a part of my life, a new and healthier way of living. Can’t wait for the results to tick in… The thrill of having lost another kilo. It is a most fabulous and encouraging feeling.

Well, see you all.

Right now I don’t have much more on my mind. Still broken you know…

But leaving with a treat from Engrish. It's supposed to be Hello Kitty, not Hitty. Whatare they trying to say here!?!? So funny! *lol*

Monsoon

Will I ever shut my gobshite?

Well hello there.

Here I am, as usual. This is addictive, I’m telling you!
Got my hair cut today, as I was starting to look like I was saving for long hair, which I am not! So I cut about three tons of it, mind you; I still have a good deal of hair left. It looks ok I think. At least Eva said so, when I visited her afterwards. *lol*

Then I drove home, only to find Helene had left me a message on my mobile, which I for some reason had left at home. Helene is the girl that I shared the flat with for 4 years in Oslo. She was home visiting her parents, and also to do some opera singing. She is very talented. We were just talking about how amazing it is every time we meet; we connect instantly and we can talk for hours and hours. It’s like we only saw each other yesterday. (No wonder I like “him” so much, they share birthday) And yes, dare I speak his name, Bob was mentioned more than twice this evening, I will admit that. Had to let some emotions out…

Have the presentation tomorrow. I am not dreading it as much as I thought I would. I think what my coacher did to me yesterday helped. Cool…

Friday is the day I will start changing my eating habits, again. I can’t give up now can I? I can never stop believing that this time is different, that this time will be IT. I have lost about 57 pounds, so I do have the ability to do it, don’t I? I’ve set a day, so that I can focus on that and prepare myself emotionally. I have found things in my diet that I need to lose, and things I need to add, to make it more nutritious. I feel confident that I will stick to it.

A friend is changing too, so we will support each other. I think being two will do us both good. Otherwise; it does get a bit lonely. I don’t think anyone who isn’t severely overweight like me, can comprehend what the mere thought of having to lose 140 pounds will do to ones brain. It is depressive, it seems virtually impossible, and it scares the living daylights out of me. Such a HUGE task to take on, it drains your mind and body of all energy. But I will give myself this treat, because that’s what it is…

Going to bed now, it’s past midnight, again. So now it’s not Wednesday anymore…

Monsoon – love him - *pretending I never noticed what I just wrote*

Entry number 300!

Hi there!

Congrats to me; this is my 300th blogentry. I guess we have established that I have a need to ramble. *lol*

Just thought I’d do some writing. I am sitting here listening to music, and of what I am feeling and who I am thinking of; I will shut my mouth.

Have been to my thing for the third time today, and I think it is doing me good. It is called coaching actually, and it is a very solution oriented form of “therapy”. I write “therapy” because I do not see it as therapy as such. He is mainly helping me to focus on thoughts and sentences that are good for me. In addition he is trying to rid me of my way too negative and untrue, view of my own being. When I mentioned that I went to Sonans, he told me that he knows the principal I had there. She was great, but unfortunately she was only substituting.

In many ways I totally miss that school. “The real world” at University is way scary for someone who thinks they are too fat to be worthy of any kindness… Because of that I tend to stay away from people, and telling everyone with my body language; “I do not want to get to know you, so bugger off!” When the fact of the matter is that I would LOVE to talk to them, and to make new friends. Why do I to these extremely stupid things? One has to start wondering if I have any brains at all…

Yesterday I was at Blue Cross at Sandnes, kinda like a field trip to go see one of the many places a “sosionom” works. (“Sosionom” is somewhat a social worker in English. I am short of a good translation.) They work with drug and alcohol abusers, together with people addicted to slot and gambling machines. We asked a bunch of questions and then today we met up at school to write a report. Then coming Thursday or Friday we are going to present it to the rest of the class. Guess who is dreading that? Could it be meeeee? Oh no, because I am little Miss Security, who simply loves standing in front of people and speak. I never used to mind, but after getting fat I do. I am so sick of stopping myself in living just because I have a lot of fat stored on my body. Who the fuck gives a shite anyway? If anyone should care and find me disgusting; so what? What does that have to do with me? Do I have to befriend these persons? No.

Enough.

Ok, this post ended up a bit depressive, and I didn’t mean for that to happen. I am feeling somewhat ok, though I do struggle with the obvious.

I am hoping to meet Vegar soon. It’s been a while, and I miss him.

I am now going to play “Worms world party”, a hilarious game of killer worms. Highly addictive I might add.

Monsoon

Shortie

Irene was here last night, and we had cheese and crackers, together with tons of talking and discussing. I am so glad she was there last night, and that she is my friend. Love her.

I am blank, so that is why I will post this following thing that I “stole” from Martha’s blog.
I’ll be back with more chit chat sooner or later. It’s just that there seems to be only one thing on my mind and that is “the unmentionable”, and that whole thing. So later then eh…

Much love and thanks for your kindness.


1. Taken a picture completely naked? Yes of course

2. Danced in front of a mirror naked? No

3. Told a lie? Yees…

4. Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back? YES YES YES

5. Been arrested? No

6. Seen someone die? Thank god no!

7. Kissed a picture? Yes, when pre-teen

8. Slept in until 5pm? No

9. Had sex at work (on the clock)? Does solo sex count?

10. Fallen asleep at work/school? No

11. Held a snake? No, but I did hold a tarantella, Eek!

12. Ran a red light? No

13. Been suspended from school? No

14. Pole danced? I don’t think so…

15. Been fired from a job? No

16. Sang karaoke? Yes

17. Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? Not sure

18. Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Yes

19. Laughed until you peed? Yes

20. Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Yes

21. Kissed in the rain? Yes

22. Had sex in the rain? Yes

23. Sang in the shower? Yes, every time

24. Gave your private parts a nickname? Yes

25. Ever gone to school/work without underwear? Yes

26. Sat on a roof top? Yes

27. Played chicken? No, but frog

28. Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? No, thanks be to God!

29. Broken a bone? No

30. Flashed someone? Yes

31. Mooned someone? No

32. Shaved your head? No, I would though if I had e prettier head/skull. Mine is all bumpy.

33. Slept naked? Yes, every night since forever

34. Blacked out from drinking? Yes, once. Dreadful.

35. Played a prank on someone? Yes

36. Had a gym membership? Yes, amazing isn’t it.

37. Felt like killing someone? No not really

38. Cried over someone you were in love with? Yes, all the bleedin time

39. Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? no

40. Been in a band? No, only pretend bands as a child

41. Shot a gun? No

42. Shot a bow and arrow? No

43. Played strip poker? No, but would like to some day.

44. Donated Blood? No

45. Ever jump out of an airplane? NO!

46. Been to more than 10 countries? No, only nine



Monsoon

Correction of previous post

There you go. I am out. For you who have no idea what I am talking about, which is most of you; sorry but I can't tell you what it means. It is terrible, and it's something that has been part of my life for almost 2 years. To let that go is terror right now. But, I can tell you that it has to do with the e-mail I sent to Bob. Apparently he has done what I asked him to, or at least I think he has. Could be someone else as well, but whatever. However I think he is the one who has to carry it out… I bet it is the biggest relief of his life. Sadly. Yet that would be a very normal reaction, due to the circumstances. I feel really empty and chaotic. I don't want to let go, I just want everything to be fine. It is nearly half past 1 in the morning, so now it is Saturday.

I am lost for words, as no word could ever suffice in describing the feeling I have inside me right now. So I will try to get some sleep. New day tomorrow, and I have to do some studying. God; let me be cold, insensitive, hard and robot-like. How much easier would life be then? Living it like some hardened bitch? Better? No, probably not, although the thought is appealing at times. It would just be wonderful to have the ability to turn off ones emotions and vulnerabilities when they were unwanted.

Monsoon

Mission failed

My plan didn't work out, or so it seems. He hasn't done what I asked him to, so... Ok, I will tell you what I did, or not all, but I sent him an e-mail, asking him to do a certain thing for me. It would have taken three seconds for him to finish. Probably never even read the mail. Well, too bad! Too bad for him too, as I am sure it would have been a relief to him.

I don’t have a lot to say or talk about. Audhild visited me earlier on, and we had a good time. She is very nice. I helped her with some mathematics, as she finds it really tough. I think that she only needs some self-confidence in the “maths department”, as she has anxiety for X’es and unknowns in maths. *lol*. Made me realize how much I miss doing arithmetic. Blast! I do find myself “longing” for more mathematical studies. But, here I am, social studying… I am sure I will be a good one though. In addition; I can do maths in my spare time, along with history and writing. I shouldn’t complain.

Off to have Chinese, BIG YUM!

Monsoon *must not think about things one shouldn't think about*

The Who with LOVE REIGN O'ER ME... O Holy Mother of all that is pure and good in this world, that song rocks with my whole being. Jaysis!!!! Did good!

Hmm...

Oh God! I have done something about an hour ago, that I right now am regretting like crazy!
I have tried to get a better closure on the whole Bob thing. And by better I mean that the last one didn’t end up being a closure, not to me. I can’t go on loving this man, so much and so deep, when there is no hope of ever having him as my man. It feels like my whole inside has been taken out and trampled on. Also I feel that a piece of my soul is broken. Right now I am unfixable. In time I hope to be able to make him into a lovely memory. To think about him as someone who affected me in such ways and lengths I never thought possible. Someone who inspired me into the heavens, and who just made me feel all the positive things there is, by just being near me. Also he is the sexiest, most attractive and handsome man I have ever laid eyes on. Sigh. He means everything to me, but I have to let him go. *sobbing*

Right now I am listening to “don’t cry” with Neil Young, to try to get out of the melancholic state this had me in instantly. But that song, and Young in general, isn’t exactly the best when “down in the dumps”, eh? Therefore, I will now stop Young’s music and put something more cheerful and giddy on. Oh fuck! Life sucks, I’m telling you. Why can’t we love people that we can get? Sorry, but I am so vulnerable about this.

Watched UEFA champions league football tonight. Inter met Spartak Moskva, and won their first match in that cup, finally!

I am so sad, which is why I do not see the point in writing any more. It will only be my broken heart talking, and that is so not interesting to you. I can’t believe that I did what I did. Never thought I would be able to. There are some guts in me after all.

Only problem are the friends I have where Bob is. I am running out of excuses as to why I can’t drop by, especially as my bus stops just outside. Gee… Not easy that one.

I need someone to talk to right now.

Monsoon 

- wishing I was a robot not feeling anything at the moment - 

Good day

I simply LOVE it when I get a certain type of letter in the mail. The kind I am talking about is the one with bright colours, glitter and perhaps even gold letters on it. My immediate thought is; Hmm, is this a letter from the glittering 80’s that got stuck in the mail for some reason? One can read on the envelope; Important! Highly personal! Must only be opened by Monsoon….. Then when I open it says that I have been chosen. Ooooh… I am, apparently, one of the 5 lucky Norwegians to receive a car worth 200 000 Nok. To receive it I only have to do this, sign here, and pay that… Yeah right! Like I would ever fall for that, you silly twats! It is not only the envelope that amuses me. No, it is the way they write your name about three billion times within the letter, to try to make you feel unique. Yes, I feel so so special, particularly since everybody I know, also got the same envelope. How stupid do they think I am?

More important, than silly letters, is the fact that I have been such a bloody good student today. Yes! I read one whole book called “The personal talk/conversation”. A very interesting book, that I am sure I will use in my job as a social worker. Plus I read more too. I am so glad I was able to concentrate again. My exam is in three weeks. Yikes! *drying “panic sweat” from forehead* But I think I will do all right. If I am able to write in an academically way, I think I will survive. I do not demand an A or even B, I am glad as long as I pass. (As it is the first one) I am not very good at writing like that, in fact I’ve never written an assignment or exam like that before.

My spirits are lifted, and I thank myself and I thank my “thing”. It looks like it is going to help me to like myself a little bit more. Well in the self worth section. I do have self-confidence, but it is the self-esteem I lack. In a great way, as it turns out. The man at my “thing” said to me: You are fat, useless, and nobody likes you. (to provoke a reaction) My immediate thought was to agree and think: “This is what I’m saying…” I do know that it is wrong of me to think like that, because many people like me, and I am not useless. Fat, yes, but that is now, and I am able to do something about it. I know when my self-esteem got ripped away. It was when I experienced those horrors at work. Yes, those were the days. Not! I am finished with that, but my sense of self worth is like nil. Luckily it is fixable, yea!

So there you go. I have had a good day. Malin was down here. Love her. I have known her since 1997, when she was 3, 5 years. After talking and playing "The SIms 2", we both went to my parents and ate a gorgeous dinner. We all eat together every Tuesday. I like that, it is nice! Malin lives with her dad Bjørn at Bryne, and every Tuesday my mum collects her at school. She is at my parents most of the time, but she comes down to me for 1,5 hours too.

This is Malin playing Sims. I had my old monitor, so it must be before August...

Hugs Monsoon :-)

- And to answer your question; yes Bob is still "here".

If you can't get someone out of your head, maybe they're supposed to be there 

Cathal O'Murchú

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CATHAL!

I can't believe that my "cutieboy" is 14 already. I used to call him that when I was their Au-Pair. Last time I saw him we were all sitting in the livingroom talking. Cathal was sitting beside me, and suddenly I felt a hand slipping into mine. He leaned over and whispered to me; "Eilen, I will always be your cutieboy, won't I?" I am telling you, tears started to run down my cheeks. He is so sweet that child. So loving, caring and yes; just a great human being basically.

I think it is amazing how connected you can get to a family that consists of strangers when you arrive. Those two kids are like family. The love I feel for them is equal to the one I feel for my "real" family. I am blessed to have been able to live with the O'Connors/Murphys for two years. An era of my life I will treasure always.

Here is the rest of the family too:

This is my "parents", Brendan and Therese in the middle. The third one is a relative, Anne.


And this is Cíara, on her 9th Birthday


Monsoon :-)

Nothing interesting

I am at Uni, just killing time basically. Waiting to go to my thing at 1 o'clock. We were supposed to have information until 12, but that was done before 11 even. My group talked for a little while afterwards, to discuss further work, and then decided to meet her Wednesday. So here I am, with nothing to do. Then I thought I could go in here and do some crappy writing.

I might delete it later, as this probably will be extremely boring to read.

Coming Friday I am gettting a visit from a woman that I got to know a little at my old school. Her name is Audhild, and she still attends that school. She wants to study what I am studying, but she will start next year then.

Later then perhaps?! My brain is dull and numb. MUST STUDY LATER TODAY! *slapping myself on the head*

Humour, bad perhaps...

Watched Inter play Catania, and was thrilled when Inter was able to win. It didn’t look like it for a while there. Catania scored first, with a magnificent goal from Mascara. But then Inter, with Stankovic, scored 2 and won. That means Inter is now in the lead in "series A" in Italy. Plus Viking, one local team, won their first match away since 2005, over Odd. So all is good in the world of football today. Yea!

I can’t help it; I must visit Engrish.com every now and then. I get a good laugh out of it. Just look at the name they have chosen for this church here.

I assume they are unfamiliar with the fact that beaver is also one of the many pet names for a certain female body part. *giggle* So not a suitable name for a church, someone must inform them…

There was one really bad one, from Finland actually, but I think it is too naughty to post. Or…!? It is a severely bad name for some bread things. Well bad, if you read it “thinking English” of course. I have no idea what it means in Finnish, but I am sure it is totally innocent, after all it is just bread isn’t it? Ok, I just have to share it.

Silly to laugh over it, perhaps, but I do find things like this funny. All sorts of mistakes, misunderstandings when it comes to language and any use of words are funny. Especially if the meaning in some other country turns out to be a bit on the naughty side… Yup, childish me eh!?

Tor Egil (brother) and I had Chinese take-away today. It was lovely. I tried some of his curry sauce, and I must say this one was nice actually. I have never been very keen on curry, but I might have to consider it the next time I am up for Chinese.

I am looking forward to next weekend. One of my best friends Irene is coming home to her parents for a visit. She and I have many hours of good conversation ahead of us. I miss her. She lives in Bergen, and that means we don’t see each other so often. I remember when I was working on converting her to become a devout U2 fan. I think I actually just went ahead and ordered a U2 ticket for Zooropa ‘93 for her, determined to be able to get her to go with us. It wasn’t difficult to convince her at all. Irene has always thought Bono extremely hot, just like me, and being religious and all she made a comment once that I never forget. Irene said: “Oh my! Bono is so hot I am sure God must have worked over-time when creating him”. I thought that was so funny, and true too for that matter. Ok this is for you Irene, since I know you read my nonsense… Ok, ok... I'll admit; it’s for me too *blushing*







I have been close to happy today in fact. Wow, I'll say! Hope it lasts.

Monsoon - smiling from ear to ear from picturing lovely hot Bob in my head -

Zombie

Zombie. Wow, that is one powerful song. The drums make me go a little bit mad, especially near the end. SO good, it draws me in, big time. I play the air drums, with hands and feet, like there is no tomorrow. *lol* If people saw me, they would have the men in the white coats come and take me away, believe me. I must look insane. Who cares!?
My arms were tired after hearing Zombie three times in a row. Hmm, yes I need to work out. I know that like, you don’t have to come here and lecture me…

The only exercise I am getting these days is moving within my flat. Sad isn’t it. It should be prohibited to be physically well and not work out and take care of ones body. I have promised to start working out again, and I will. By Monday I assure you that I will be writing about the pain and agony of getting started again.

I have been to Hege’s tonight. Good evening. Particularly because I got to hand over the computer Eva, dad, my brother and I have put together for her. She was thrilled to get it.
Hope she will have hours of entertainment ahead. Must give her, and her kids, some good games to play. Worms is hilarious!

This picture shows an old “Jærhus”.

I have always loved this one; it is so tiny and cute. Of course it has been restored, and according to me in that, lost some of its soul…

Jærhus is a typical house of the area that I live in. Well, it used to be very common, until the start of 1900. It is very damp here, and the winds are strong, so these houses were built to give shelter from the winds. The annexes on each side were mainly designed for this, and were used a lot to store turf. There are about 100 of these, old ones, left around here. Some build new houses like these now.
This is a bigger version, and it used to be the home of a Norwegian author; Arne Garborg. I think it is beautiful.


Well, what more to say tonight. I miss him.

Monsoon :-)

And then some

Mohammad Yunus, together with Grameen Bank, were awarded The Nobel Peace Prize today. It was for their work for poor people, in giving them micro loans. They help people on the level they are in their lives; “help to self help”. This is, I think, one of the best ways to help. That way you can empower people, teach them, and guide them towards creating a better life. I think that giving the prize to him/them was a very interesting and innovative way of thinking within the concept of the Peace Prize. Fighting poverty is vital to peace work, as it diminishes the differences between people, and gives the poor a better chance to stand up for their rights, in time…So I thought it was a good choice this year, I really did.

I was going mental with restlessness this morning. So when I got a SMS from mum saying I could have the car immediately, I went; Yesss!! Got up and drove to IKEA. Bought 4 new cute pictures for the kitchen, here are two of them:

And a whole bunch of candles, some scented. Good trip.

I have been trying to make my Creative playlists immaculate today. I need a certain order and system to be happy about it, if not it takes forever to find one specific song. It will take a while to do all 1600 songs though. I will probably add more songs also, during the next week. I think the Mp3 player is a terrific invention. To be able to carry your whole CD collection, or parts of it, in one tiny gadget; perfection I’m telling ya!

Not so much more to say today, other than I've had a good day come to think of it. Wow.

I see that its past midnight now ,which means it is really Saturday; although to me it is still Friday night. Just had to mention that as I said "today" about the Nobel Prize thing...

Monsoon :-)

Sunbeams

Fly away, be free
Feel the air brushing against your naked skin
It tickles
It’s cold
Look how the sun breaks through the clouds
Let the light lead you
Embrace it and be bold

Took this photo today, as I thought the sun looked like it was fighting the clouds to get some sunbeams out and down to us...

 Møyfrid and I in Intercourse

Music music music

I’ve been playing around with my creative player today, a lot…

Other than that I’ve been out with Eva for a while, and I have studied, in spite of being so tired I could just die. But at 6 I had to cave; I went to my darling bed and slept for an hour. The pills I am taking make me zzzzleeepy...

As for my blog entry yesterday; I am not depressed, so don’t worry. Like I said I am just feeling a bit down. Why? Well because I am not doing what I am supposed to, and in that I disappoint myself. The disappointment results in me being sad, moody, and angry, just ask my mum… *lol*

Today has been a much better day, and that is thanks to music. I seriously doubt I could live one day without it. I found a U2 concert that I have a very bad tape recording of, and now I have downloaded it. It is the New Year’s concert at “The Point Depot” in Dublin in 1989/90. Such a fantastic concert that I find no adjectives that suffices to describe it. I remember I sat listening to it as a 15 year old, alone in my room in bewildered joy. Bono asked; “will you join me for a glass of wine?” Yes, yes, I shouted. *giggle”. We all thought U2 was history after that concert, so I cried some and then sang some. I was so down that I named my new diary U2. I used to have names on diaries you see. Yes, so every diary entry there started with “Dear U2”, hehe… So anyway, I am totally happy I found this, because now I can listen to it on my Mp3 player, with excellent sound.

I miss my handball playing days. (The kind of handball being played in the summer Olympics) I started to play at the tender age of 5, and loved it. At 10 I became the goalkeeper, and the first time I stood in that goal I knew I had found my place. I belonged there! Our squad was great too, always fighting over the two best positions in our county. One of my team mates, Monica Sandve, reached her goal, as she has been playing in the top series plus on the “all Norwegian team” too. I was very active, and I had serious plans as a handball player. I wanted to play for the national team. Life, on the other hand, didn’t want me to. At 14 my right hip was killing me, and they never found what was causing the pain. I had to stop playing at 19. It felt disastrous, and it was. Handball had been my life, and most of my friends were players too. I still have that hip problem, but I’ve learned to live with it.

Talking about old times made me think of me as a child. I used to make my own words, instead of using the real thing. The word for pantyhose/tights in Norwegian is strømpebukse. I couldn’t say that, so instead I said: ømp-amp-imp. Oh the resemblance, eh!? I was eager to talk though, and did that before I could walk. Gee shocking that is.

One time mum and dad had friends, and their kids, over at our house. I was 6 at the time, and we were watching children’s television. It was a show called “Our body”, and the topic was making babies. The man on the TV, showed a penis, and told us the deal. I saw this, and then I burst out with an astonished face; “Mummy, how does he get that flabby thing into that tiny hole?” I guess you can say mum was a tad embarrassed. I say she should have been used to it. I mean I was the one who told my unwilling friends that their mum used nappies/diapers once a month. My friends ran home bawling their eyes out, poor things.Yup, there you have it. (It was sanitary pads, not nappies, of course)

Enough chat about my early doings. I might write more of the sort a different day.

I am leaving today with a picture of HAPPY me eating a breakfast at a typical American diner, in a town called; Intercourse. The other girl on the pic is Møyfrid. Irene and I were visiting her as she lived in New York at the time, working at the Norwegian Seamen’s church. Two unbelievable weeks spent in USA!!

PICTURE ON THE POST ABOVE wouldn't work properly

Kiss kiss Monsoon

“Do I hear happiness in here!?” - Miss Hannigan in “Annie”.

Ps. I have been thinking a lot about Bob today, which probably comes to a surprise to you all. *lol*He just fits, gorgeous being that he is. Feck it anyway, I'm tellin' ya...

Looser Ville, may I slap you on the head

Oooops! Suddenly I had this little cutie waiting for me to pick it up at the post office.

Well, it wasn’t entirely surprising as I had ordered it online. It is a Creative Zen vision :M, and it stores 30GB. I just really wanted one, and since my mood has been crappy and stuff, I thought what the heck. So there you go! Trying to console myself with materialistic things; how smart. Ah well,, we’re allowed once in a while, right!? I sold my old one to a friend, so the total cost of this wasn’t bad. It can play music and films, and also one can use it as an external hard drive, which was one of the main reasons I bought it. I was going to buy an external hard drive anyways, so… Well I am very pleased with it so far. Brilliant menus. I’ve been ripping cds and transferring music from the computer to the player. The only ones I have left to transfer are the big ones; U2, The Who and Neil Young.

Yesterday’s "thing" was ok. It wasn’t really what I had expected, but I think it will become better. There is a whole lot of talk about my focus being wrong, which makes me oppress myself. I know! We’re gonna try to turn this around. I hope we will be able to.

Both Hege and Rønnaug have been here today, so the study didn’t go all that well. But it was great to have visitors, as I am very sociable. In addition I did laundry and tidied. I did some studying though, and there’s a new day tomorrow.

Why do I talk down to myself so much. I feel like such a fecking looser these days, and it isn’t very nice. I am fat, useless, unmotivated, disgusting, and nobody likes me. This is what I’m “saying” to myself subconsciously. My common sense knows that this isn’t the case like, but that doesn’t help. I can point to certain things that have made me like this, but it isn’t very easy to fix. But I will, because I do know deep inside, that I do deserve it. I am not depressed, really I am not. I am in “Looser Ville” right now, that’s all. I will get the next train out of here.

I love The Far Side...


Monsoon ;-)

Ps.

I just have to let some tiny bit of steam out. I HATE when blog and webpages have sound or music playing on them. The last thing I need is some fucking crappy disgusting music to start playing when I enter a blog. Especially since I always listen to my own, brilliant, music. Then their music starts playing on top of mine; so annoying! I only hate it when the music starts by itself. Ok... So stop "force feeding" us!

Peculiar

Caplex is an encyclopaedia in Norway that you can find in both book versions and web versions. One day I was surfing the net, and went into www.caplex.no.
There I found one mistake. They had written that U2 was formed in 1977, when I knew that it was in 1976. I can’t stand when reference books/WebPages give us misinformation, so I wrote an e-mail to let them know. Yesterday I got an e-mail back, saying they had checked my information, and found that I was right. The thanked me for my correction, and that by the end of the month it should say 1976 in there. God that was good! *lol* Kidding, but it was nice that they paid attention to my e-mail and took me seriously. Not that the misinformation was life threatening for anyone, but it is vital to me that the correct year stands.

Funny and weird thing happened today in Stavanger. I had been to my “thing”, and had just gotten off the bus to go to the train station. My lips were very dry and I licked them several times as I was walking and minding my own business. Suddenly this man, a handsome one as well, stopped me and asked my name. We talked for like 2 minutes, and he seemed like a nice enough man, intelligent even. The he drops the bomb, he says to me: “could you lick your lips again, as it was totally sexy to watch. It was just the way you moved your tongue…” I said, eeeh, no… Then he replied: “Don’t you believe in love at first sight?” Frankly, I started to laugh and I thought him a bit loony. He asked for my phone number too. (Which of course he didn’t get!!) But Jaysis, who asks for something like that!? I excused myself and hurried to the train, where I sat down and felt amused to death. Incidents like these; gotta love them eh? People are strange, no doubt!

Had Elise over today, for an hour only, because we were both going somewhere. However; it was fan-fecking-tastic to see her. She studies English in Oslo, but was home visiting. Elise is fabulous, and she makes me want to study hard. Love that about her. Tomorrow is going to be a day devoted to studying, with 15 minutes breaks every 45 minutes, just like on Uni. I have to get serious about catching up with the curriculum that I’m behind with. *ordering oneself to use brain on things that really matter*

A little quote that I find witty from “Mad about you”; Jamie is trying to get her sister to not sleep with some guy on their first date, and turns to her husbands for backup.

Jamie: Tell Lisa what guys say when a girl gives in on the first date…
Paul/husband: Yippee!?

Lynne! I found a couple of comics from far side, so here’s one.
*roaring and uncontrollable laughter*


Monsoon :-)

Silence, not so much...

Ok. I couldn’t hold out now could I. *lol*I do have to carve at least once a day, addicted as I am. There might be something in what you said Elise; do we all need to cut back on this blogging business perhaps? Is it getting out of hands? Let me take a sip of my beloved tab x-tra, and ponder upon that. I think for me; it has ages ago.

Mood tiny bit better today, it helped to go to Eva for a little while. Also Karin came by yesterday, and that was lovely! Had a good time!

I have a small infection/inflammation in the surgery cut/sore, of course. Not nice, and it is burning and itching like hell. I have to clean clean clean it, and then in about 4 smallish weeks it should be fully healed. 4 bleedin’ weeks. Holy crap!

Other than that I’ve been lying down a whole lot, and being totally and utterly restless. I hate being ill, I am not suited for lying down doing nothing at all. It is boring. Despite the fact that I have tons of TV channels, there never seem to be anything worth watching. In addition; lying like that only generates al sorts of unwanted moods and senses (hence my blog entry of oct. 2nd), and boy is that annoying. So that is why I always end up in front of the computer. Here I find my peace… *lol* Well at least I am doing something, instead of just lying there.

Still hungry at all times. MUST - HAVE - FOOD... I am sure I could eat a hippo or some other huge animal. How is it possible? I have never been like this before. I was even hungry when I woke up this morning. I usually have to force feed myself with breakfast, as me and food, at unholy hours, don’t combine well.

My friend Irene told me about this film she and her husband had seen, which was called “Das Leben der Anderen”. (The lives of others) It was about the Stasi regime in the former DDR. (In East-Germany when it was divided into west and east) Apparently a most brilliant film, a must see one… I agree with Irene, in that some historically related films can be amazingly fantastic and that they make a stronger impact on you than “ordinary films”. Let me mention “1900” once again; a film that made a weighty influence on me. Wow. It borders on sheer brilliancy if you ask me. Dreadful, yes, but astounding nevertheless. I think this film is one of Bertolucci’s, finest works. If you haven’t seen it; DO!

One does feel a bit narcissistic at times, when blogging. I feel there are so many terrible things in this world, which probably should be talked about. Especially international politics, issues, and problems, with for instance North Korea’s atomic trial blasting and all, but I can’t be bothered. Why? It is not because it doesn’t concern me, or that I am not interested in it. There are two main reasons for my lack of political and problem focus in here:

- I do not wish to give away my political standpoint
- Discussions like that would take forever, as I have tons of opinions to share, if I only wanted to. Ok? So I am not trying to be insanely narcissistic, so excuse me if that’s the way it comes out.

Just thought of something that always had me in a good mood and roaring laughing actually; The far side (Larsons gale verden) Tried to find some comics on the net, but no luck so far. Must buy a book. Found this joke though, and it felt a bit “far-side-ish”:

Hugs from “The princess that nobody could silence” Monsoon

Ps. Bob...

What can I say

FUNNY!

Meanwhile; Fuck a doodle doo

I am not sure that I will be writing a lot in my blog following week. It depends.
I have problems sorting things, and there are other reasons as well, that I am not giving away here. I am not content, and I hate writing when I am in a crappy and numb mood.
Hopeless.

I’ll be back.

I am listening to Don’t cry, Neil Young that is. Fucking great song!

Lyrics of the song ONE from U2. Love it.


Is it getting better?
Or do you feel the same?
Will it make it easier on you now?
You got someone to blame
You say

One love
One life
When it's one need
In the night
One love
We get to share it
Leaves you baby if you
Don't care for it

Did I disappoint you?
Or leave a bad taste in your mouth?
You act like you never had love
And you want me to go without
Well it's

Too late
Tonight
To drag the past out into the light
We're one, but we're not the same
We get to
Carry each other
Carry each other
One

Have you come here for forgiveness?
Have you come to raise the dead?
Have you come here to play Jesus?
To the lepers in your head

Did I ask too much?
More than a lot.
You gave me nothing,
Now it's all I got
We're one
But we're not the same
Well we
Hurt each other
Then we do it again
You say
Love is a temple
Love a higher law
Love is a temple
Love the higher law
You ask me to enter
But then you make me crawl
And I can't be holding on
To what you got
When all you got is hurt

One love
One blood
One life
You got to do what you should
One life
With each other
Sisters
Brothers
One life
But we're not the same
We get to
Carry each other
Carry each other


Monsoon

Munch 'N Roses

I am doing fine, a bit dizzy and sick in my stomach right now, but I think my “drugs” are causing that so… Meanwhile; I am having the munchies big time. I think the drugs are causing me to not feel full. I can eat and eat, and be hungry one minute after. It freaks me out is does!

Just had Hege on a visit, which was great. I was bored WAY beyond belief. Not being able to sit up all the time, drives me mental. It was not long before I had dragged a sofa to my computer today... *lol*

Judit came by yesterday, and brought these stunning roses for me. That’s so nice of her, and I appreciated it a lot!! We had a good time talking. She lives in Oslo, but was visiting her parents.

I dared to go out to do a bit of grocery shopping today. Had to go to Bryne as they didn’t have what I wanted here. How unusual. We only have one grocery shop at Vigrestad. Yes, it is a small tiny place… But we have a bank, a kiosk, two, for some reason, florists, a bakery, a gallery, and a massage, aromatherapy + + thingy. But then, we aren’t that many people here either; in 2005 we were 1764 inhabitants.

Both dreading and looking forward to Tuesday. I am anxious to see what it’s all about, and to see if it will do me good. I do hope so. I need it, I need change. I am totally stuck right now, especially emotionally. Going around in circles in my head, not getting anywhere. Don’t appreciate that. Not depressed, just stuck. I don’t really know how to fully explain it. It is tricky. Trying to be positive though, and trying to get out of this place of nothingness.

While out driving today I took these pictures… I thought the light was magnificent, but as usual the pictures don’t give credit to reality.




My mind is exceedingly boring right now, (now that’s the understatement of the century!) and has been for a while I might add, so I think I’ll go. Sorry for killing you slowly with my tediousness.

Kiss kiss, Monsoon :-)

All done

Hi!

Had to share these pictures. In the first one I am just trying to share how well fit the hospital shirt was. Haha!! You should have seen the way I looked. God! Terrible. But this just shows the top half, but every button downwards was spread out, stretched to capacity. Didn't leave a lot to the imagination, so to speak. Hospital shirts, not made for fat people, eh? I had to laugh myself...


I've never had one of these before, well not that I can remember.
Oooh sooo sick... *lol*


I am glad it is over though. When I woke up they asked who is "Bob"? I was like, eeeh.... Just someone. The nurse replied; "it must be someone whom you love a lot, that's for sure". Apparently I had been going on and on about him. They can drug me down, way into sleepy land, but the thought of Bob, they can't take away. *laughing* I will admit, unwillingly, that the first name that came to mind when I woke up was... *drumroll* Bob. He was all I thought about the whole time lying in bed afterwards.

And then I started weeping. I cried for ages, silently in my bed. The nurse came and asked was I in pain. No, but I just feel like weeping I replied. Then she said it was quite normal to cry after having narcosis. I looked dreadful, my mascara had run down my cheeks and had given me this goth look. Yes, I did have mascara on going to the hospital. *blushing* A girl's gotta look her best at all times, isn't that right?

Well, that was all for now. I am in no pain, drugged down as I am. Have slept for hours today.

Thanks to you all for thinking of me!!

Monsoon ;-)

Hot sex!!

Hehe... Got your attention, didn't I. Sorry to say though; this post has nothing to do with sex, as I do not know what that is... Unfamiliar word... doesn't ring a bell...

The fact of the matter is; I need a bit of sympathy, as my cat can't give me any.

Going to the hospital tomorrow for surgery, so you better all think about me at around 11. I will kick you arses if you don’t! *lol* I am glad they rang today actually, because that means I most probably will have to be off school for one day only, and that is tomorrow. Next week is study week. Which is great. You see we have a lot of lectures that are compulsory, and if you are away too much it will have consequences. Like taking that exam and those lectures next year, and I hope it won’t come to that so… I am a tad nervous about tomorrow. Haven't had surgery like that since I was 3 weeks old. I was born with a fused gullet, and nearly died... Poor me! Had emergency christening and all I did... I am not the worrying type, usually, but it’s just that narcosis and being fat don’t mix well. Pray I will be fine.

I have been to Eva today. Taking all sorts of silly and redundant personality tests online. We had fun though. Apparently I am 52 % pure, (As if!) I am 78 % Leo, and if I had my dream car, BMW, my bumper sticker would read; Give me ambiguity - or give me something else. Hmm, yes, I actually invented the word ambiguous… (For those that don’t know me; I am the exact opposite of that, so being a bit ironic there)

My mind is numb today, and I feel there’s nothing in there worth mentioning. There is Bob, sex, surgery, my cat, Neil Young and a bit of sadness…

So I guess this is it.

Monsoon

For it isn’t the virtues, but the faults, that make us human
- August Strindberg

Good old mix

Oh for crying out loud! Why must I be so affected by music, and why to such a gargantuan extent? It is possibly because I do let it grab me, and that I utterly live the music. (Music which deserves me “living” it, I might add) I have been listening to Neil Young a lot today.
His music is nothing short of astounding! It undeniably puts you into a specific peace of mind. For instance; the song “out on the weekend” makes me cry. I just get this really sore and intense sensation within me, and it makes my tears just run. I presume it does me good to shed some tears. “Rockin’ in the Free world” is brilliant, and has me in a good mood, despite the lyrics being not so cheerful. And I think Mr Young is trying to kill me with “Don’t cry”. Holy mother of all that is pure and good in this world… Oh wow!!

Have been to school today, and as I sat on the bus back to town I got an SMS from Line. I got to know her at my old school, and she is still a student there. My bus stops just outside my old school so she told me to stay put there, so that we could set up a “play date”. *lol* It was nice to see her. Only problem is that she has befriended one person I wouldn’t advice even my worst enemy to be with. This person is callous, back-stabbing and talks ill of everyone, including me; spread false rumours about me. Chills down my spine, only thinking about it. I do not appreciate people like that on any level. Enough about that. I could write five million pages on that person, but I don’t want my blog to be an arena for talking ill… I have my diary for that kind of frustrations, eh!? ;-)

There has been a terrible murder in Norway. One brother, allegedly mentally ill, killed his three younger sisters, aged 27, 24 and 13. Oh God, when things like this happen… What to say? It isn’t possible to say or do anything that will make it go away. I feel that cases like this increase in numbers by the year around here. Read about murders almost every day now. When I was younger it happened on a much lesser frequency. What has happened to this country? To its people, that makes us want to kill? I wish I knew, and I wish it was fixable. One thing that needs to be done is certainly to stop cutting back on allocations to the mental health care. Time and time again it is people that have been given up by society, for their mental illnesses, that kill. I can’ start that debate here, because it will have me writing till dawn. This is a topic that I am concerned about, and which I am engaged/occupied by.

It is a good thing they’re training hard, I want them to win win win!! (Look who is talking; who needs working out more than me!?) *giggle* For your information; this is Inter, well some of the players, needless to say.


Is it possible that the song "Bombadilla life" from 1989, correct me if I am wrong, is the worst and most "painful-to-liten-to" song ever created? It is sung by Franklin, and I think they are Norwegian. I want to reach in and pull out my stirrup bone and ear drum so that I can't hear it.

See you!

Monsoon :-)

Do not go in there

Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans…

I got a call today, from someone I had sent an inquiring e-mail to. This “business” is located in Stavanger, near where my old school was before they moved. This call ended with that I am going to do something very exciting, and scary, next week. Hopefully something that will have a profound effect on my lifestyle, my choices, and the way I should be + +. I do not want to share what it is. Not yet anyway. I am glad I am going to try it though, and I might share my experience later.

My head is so full, full of things I want to say, things I mean, things which are important to me, silly stuff, love, and more. I could easily sit in front of the computer and write all day long. Books, short-stories, poems, crappy writing and some good, but there’s just so much of it. I have a hard time sorting the bleedin thing out. I need like a filing system or something. I wish I could divide my brain and its thoughts into folders like on my hard drive. How convenient wouldn’t that be? I could reach in and take out any information required. *lol*
I am glad though, that my busy thoughts aren’t bad, it’s more like a creative chaos…

At times, I wish my brain would give it a rest, as I can’t sit here all day long and just write. I have an education to think about, and that is important to me! However as I read/study my brain wanders into the fabulous world of writing. Bad brain eh!
It’s a good thing that next week is study week. I am behind 50 pages. Not too bad I guess. But I can feel the panic creeping upon me… My first exam is on November 6th and the subject is “Introduction to social work”. Holy testicle Tuesday, help! (yes I know that that was a very immature saying, but I've used it for years for some reason, and I can't seem to shift ot off my tongue...)

At the age of 32 I have finally started my very own recipe book. I have gotten recipes from different friends and I wanted to have a book to write them in, and also from whom I got it.
I always wanted one, as my mum has kept one since I was a child, and I found it neat and cool. I feel very female and domestic… I think I am going to make a cake coming weekend. Hoist the flag, the woman is baking!! *giggle*

Well you know, if I have any plans to get a man I guess being able to compose a decent meal wouldn’t be totally wrong. I better get started! I had a lovely meal today, straight from a bag. hehe... I only had to fry the chicken and cook the rice. Ok, I do know how to cook some things, just not everything like. I am not very good with gravy of any sort, except the ones I can buy in a bag… But I am insanely willing to learn!

This was my dinner today, "Bali chicken casserolle" or something like that.


I guess two posts a day should do it, I simply must shut my hole now.

Monsoon, or Oeinao perhaps. (Oeinao stems from one time I tried to write piano in Elise's blog, and instead wrote oeinao. Yes, my fingers tend to go on faster than my brain eh!!? hehe ;-) )

Peaking are we?

First I want to say that the following is written in a slight exaggerated manner, to make a point. Also it was written with a smile, so don't take all of it immensely serious...

From what I know and have learned, women have their sexual peak in their 30’s. I feel I have been in that peak all my life really… :-)

I am 32 now and well into that 30’s peak. Am I? Can I sense a difference? To that I will shout a resounding and clear YES!!! At times it is "all I can think of". Luckily it doesn’t interfere with my daily life, studies or anything else. It is just always lying there, at the back of my head, “scraping” my brain to make sure I notice it… I think it should be "illegal" to be single during these years; it can drive you nutty it can. :-) Ok, if you are “easygoing”, if you know what I mean, I guess you can always get some… To me, however, who won’t have one-night stands; to me it certainly is quite tricky at times. I have no option but to go on “killing kittens”, and boy do I ever! *lol* (I don’t mean literally; I refer to my post of March 8th, for explanation)

Fortunately I do have friends who are undergoing the same phase of sexual peak. They are all in relationships though, with men who can’t believe their luck. No headaches, constant periods, tiredness or other lame excuses to spot for miles. *lol*

This brings me over to the fact that so many women do not want to have sex with their men, and vice versa. I do not get that. Why? How is it possible to say no? Ok, if my body was in severe pain, and I was totally drugged down, I would probably say no if my man wanted to have a go. I have never said no once, is that deviant perhaps? (And in that I mean said no to my boy/girlfriend) Sex and intimacy is really worth doing. It does wonders to our minds, moods, and it is brilliant for the relationship. I do remember not being instantly in the mood, but then I reminded myself of how great it really is, and then I would be up for it nevertheless. Even if one is unable to go all the way, for some reason, sex/intimacy can be done in so many ways, right...
I do know that times will come where even I will have to say no. There might be emotional or physical reasons, who knows!?

We always hear that men think about sex much more than women. If that is the case, how you get any work done guys, is beyond me. However; I do know that I am the odd one, amongst most of my friends and acquaintances, when it comes to this. I will not be branded though, I am no slut and I am no nymphomaniac either, so there! ;-) I am a normal, open and playful woman, who is more than in touch with her mind and body, and therefore dare to be sexual. I know I have addressed some of this in another blog entry. But I think it is vital for women to see that it is ok to be horny and sexual, despite being woman. It isn’t a guys’ thing, it's a human thing!
But use the wantonness wisely though… ;-)

I have also come to the conclusion that for me this “extreme” feeling may be caused by my utter infatuation by Bob. I mean, he has “been here” for 1 year and 9 months. How sad a case am I?! My point is; the longing towards him and his body make my hormones run a little more wildly than usual... I think so anyways…

This is Vegar, totally hung up on "Roger Waters", hardly noticing I took this photo of him...

Enough now…

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in a possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife. “Pride and Prejudice”

By the way, Viking, a local football/soccer team won today, 1-0 over Tromsø. Important!

Love Monsoon ;-)