I love the series "Californication". I think it has so much depth to it. Much more than you think when you watch the first episode. It is hardcore, it's raw, it's bare, it's talk about vagina's and dicks, it shows you just how fucked up and shitty life can be and get, it's true and real, it's not polished to look like everybody and everything is just purdy and lovely. They talk about sex in ways that might blow your hat off, but I love that. Rarely have I laughed out loudly whilst watching a series like that, but I do with this. It is bloody brilliant! It is also a show that is highly inspiring to me. It makes me want to write. Let's hope I will be inspired enough to write something really long, preferably a book.
Still doing great. Actually splendid, and today I "discovered" a new band called "Codes". They're a Dublin based alternative/electronic band, and they sound great. They suit me right now. The rhythms suit my mood, the "old/new" me, and they're Irish aren't they?! Dublin; my kind of city. I miss it so much. I can't wait to go there again. God. I watched a clip from a film called "Once" the other day, and it is filmed in Dublin. (see it here; it's an amazing song) Seeing Grafton street, and Stephens Green made me weep. Tears just started running down my cheeks... LOVE Ireland. LOVE Dublin.
Yeah, as I was saying, I am doing bloody great. It feels so good being me right now, that I almost want to explode. I am proud of myself, because I am so strong, so unflinching, so determined and I "only" have eyes on the goal, which is of course a slender...ish body ;-) I am wholly surprised by the force I have, and also glad that it's there. Getting the surgery and the aftermath of all the changes in your body; going almost bald, your taste buds all screwed up (for instance my earlier favourite meat, chicken, now tastes like blood) your none-existing lust for food as a whole, and not to mention all the horrendous aches and pains that derive from a body growing thinner, you surely need your strength. I am truly experiencing life. I cry, I laugh, I feel sad, I feel lonely, but it's all good. It's just part of me, part of my life, and I am not going to eat it away. Instead I embrace it and rest in knowing that it's OK to really feel. Oh, and the scale keeps on showing smaller and smaller numbers by the day. As of today it's down 118 lbs/53,5 kilos. Two more kilos and I will be the same as I was 10,5 years ago when I first met my now ex-girlfriend. Yes! Victory! :-)
In the last year or so a (blog) friend of mine and I have grown even closer than before. We've known each other for 4 years, and it seems that the contact between us is increasing all the time. She is a remarkable person and friend, and I am so grateful for having her in my life. I don't know what I'd do without you Laura. You are my rock, and I love you for ALL that you are!! Isn't it strange just how close it is possible to feel to someone who actually you've never met, and who lives, in this case, in Italy. I actually feel very close to many of my blog friends, despite the fact we've never met either. Love and compassion can definitely grow and prosper via long-distance friendships. Thank God!
Well, signing off whilst listening to "Codes".
Sunshine and love - Monsoon
3 comments:
I love you, a lots. And you know I feel the same for you, my friend. It's SO nice to read such healing words coming from you; I kinda needed it today - I'll tell you more later, in a mail.
Till that; yes, TI VOGLIO BENE.
:)
In all this time of sadness that I am going through, your happinness and joie de vivre bring a real light in my darkness. It is hard for me to really put in words how glad I am that things are going well for you. My heart really ached for you when you went through hard times, especially that I felt helpless and did not know what I could do to help you to get out of it. You really deserve these times of relieve and well being. It is absolutely sincerely said.
Congratulations for the spectacular weight loss! Now you weigh less than I do. Wow. Beautiful woman.
But most of all I rejoyced at this: "It makes me want to write. Let's hope I will be inspired enough to write something really long, preferably a book." Wow! This is something I will be looking forward impatiently! This is really a great news!
There are very little things right now that make me happy, but reading you and feeling your joy is one of them.
P.S. I understood your deep attachment to Ireland long time ago. And it IS an amazing country with amazing people. I just wanted to ask why did you choose Australia as your eventual new home, when you can go and try to live in Ireland, since you already know this country and love it a lot?
Momiji; my dear, thank you for being happy on my behalf; it just shows what a great person you truly are! Love you so! :-) I am glad, in a little odd way, that my happiness can rub off on you. Just wish there were more things I could do for you. What you felt for me earlier; feeling helpless about what I was going through, I am now feeling towards you. You're in my thoughts always. Haha! Somehow I don't believe that I weight less than you. Do you know how much I was to start with!?
Why I want to chose Australia is based on the following;
- The weather
- Always felt drawn to the country
- The nature/culture
- The active outdoorsy lifestyle
- I can get a "skilled worker's VISA" with my bachelor's degree in social work. I have done a pre-approved thing on this VISA application site
- They are in dire need of my profession
- The same wages, almost, as here, and yet MUCH MUCH cheaper living/renting/food/water/council rates etc costs, so I'd have much more money to save/spend.
- I am an "explorer" at heart, always restless to see, live and experience new places. Just haven't been able to in the last 10 years, so now I am bursting in the seams.
However, my mind isn't made up; it could become Aus, or England or Ireland. Time will tell.
Much love xxx
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