Fast times at Vig****** Ungdomsskule/Junior High

Growing up in the 70s, 80s, and 90s was good. It was really good actually. I am forever grateful I was born when I was born, and that I am not a teen now. *chills* My home place was such a safe haven. We were SO sheltered from “all things evil”. I remember when I was 16... We were leaving “Junior High” and in that the same class we had been in for nine years. We were naïve, so gullible, clean, pure and good. I would just DIE if I heard about anyone who had had sex at that stage. To us they were like the cheapest things ever. *lol* Even those who smoked or drank alcohol were considered losers and bordering on criminals, for most of us. In my class, I think actually no one did these things. I must admit this though; our particular class was known for its quite angelic kids, and teachers “fought” to be able to teach us. Those were the days. Now, of course there were “rebels” here too, but they were not in my class, and there weren't many of them.

I must share a couple of incidents for sure. When I was in 8th grade (14-15 years) my friend Karin and I were playing ping pong in a recess, and our teacher Harald. He was the typical pietistic and stupid-kind type. Then as we were playing, a student from 7th grade walked past us and said to the teacher; “God, it is certainly flipping hot today eh Harald, it would have been fine with a cold cock in your ass”. Yeah, that is definitely the thing to say. Did that ever gobsmack the teacher! Poor guy! Karin and I just smiled awkwardly and carried on playing, all whilst I had a tiny giggle building up inside. Heck I might have been pure, but I was still me. And I never shun sway from some garbage humour. ;-) We had a similar incident the year before. During the long break we were allowed to play tapes on the speaker system that went out to all the rooms at school. One day a boy from 8th grade put on a tape that had some very questionable lyrics, SO not suited for school. These were the lyrics we all heard throughout; “I want cock, screamed Marie the old hooker, I want cock in that old pussy of mine. Now this song was in fact from an album called “under the elastics on knickers”, and had other songs like ”Wank me wearing white gloves”, “Fuck-Polka”, and the cute “Come fuck with me”. All in Norwegian of course, and if I might add; the titles make more sense, in the way that is possible, in Norwegian. Yeah, so I guess we weren’t all growing halos, or was that just the repressed sexuality talking back then?! We will never know.

So yes, the pupils at our Junior High School had their fast times too. I must admit that even I had my moments of “teacher bashing”. *feeling mortified* Names shall not be mentioned, except he stank of urine, sweat, general body odour and foul mouth stank too. He had yellow pimples the size of grapes all over his face (NOT exaggerating the size...) We literally ran if he came close to us. Once I actually held the door to prevent him from coming out. He was so little, thin and puny that I was of course much stronger than him. (I’ve always had an in-built strength, and used to be able to win over all the boys in the class in arm wrestling) Poor guy. One of my friends in my class couldn't get herself to open her lunch when he was still in the room, in fear of her food becoming poisoned from his heinous smells. His teeth appeared as one long yellow lane with no definition or end between the teeth. I guess that whole concept of dental hygiene had somehow failed him. Failed were also his relationships with soap and deodorant. Plus if you stood beside him and looked into his ears all you could see for miles were layer upon layer of ear wax. Was he perhaps saving it for a rainy day? Who the heck knows. I am just telling you; sweet cookie he reeked. Even his car spoke tragedy. Picture a tiny low rectangular/oddly shaped car, a la Mr Bean's, that looked like it was built of tin foil and wood, and then painted with the most gruesome brown colour ever imagined. It wasn't blank as cars are when they have varnish, no it looked all dry like a black board. It squeaked if you touched it.

And to top it off he had bad hearing and used hearing aid. How wrong was it to place him amongst 13 year old children, with raging hormones and no concern for tomorrows!? He probably had a hard time. Though, two years later, as we were finished Junior High, and were on our way into the big world of “high school”, he and I made up. I said I was sorry for my behaviour and we hugged it out. I am glad we did. He had cleaned himself up too at this stage, and didn't stink no more. I also want to stress that the description of him is not exaggerated. Even my mum almost fainted when she met him at parent-teacher meeting.

So, this was a trip down memory lane. I have worked as a mad hatter on yet another history paper today. All day. So now I am wrecked and going to bed. Well, actually it is the day after, as it is past midnight... So long.

Love