Splenda

So many things have been going on inside of me lately. And in that, a process of actually totally and utterly coming to terms with who I am, and also what I am. Now, that might sound weird, but it isn’t. Not to me. It’s been heaven. It’s been spiritual and touching. It is just all good. I have cried many tears of release, tears of joy, tears of realisation, tears of epiphanies etc. I have understood dreams I had as a child, and found out what they meant, and actually just how significant they were. Already then, trying to tell me that I should never shift away from that spiritual side of myself, but I did. I swayed a thousand miles from it, but it was always a part of me nevertheless. I was scared of being judged. Yes, I was. Frightened because I know not of one person close to me, except my beloved mother, who actually believes in the same stuff I do. Some might believe in parts of it all, but not the whole shebang. I can’t believe just how alternative and occult I actually am. (And just to clarify; I am not a Satanist or something!) I believe in God, but I believe in many other things too. There are many things unexplainable “in” this world really. I don’t feel all ready to tell all about it yet. But I just wanted to share that I’ve been going through a lot lately. I have found the true spiritual me, and it makes me feel incredibly balanced. And I like balance, because it isn’t borderline, like over the top happy or really dark, if you know what I mean. I am at ease, and I think that is a really good place to be when I think about the surgery I am going to go through, plus also the change in eating I have to embark on after that. Seriously; liquid eating for 3 whole weeks, and then 3 weeks of mashed food afterwards. *lol* Actually, I have lost 10 kilos in the last two months or so. I am still losing, and I am proud over it.

I love TV-programmes about interior, and exterior, designs. To see all the beauty a house, a flat, a barn, a castle can convey, via the meticulous work of those building it, is just fantastic. One of the shows is “Grand designs”. I have watched numerous shows of it. I also like the presenter; Kevin McCloud. I think he is really good, and in addition, and this is a bonus; he is hot. I feel quite smitten by him really. He has that special glimpse in his eyes. And let's not forget; he is born in the 50s. Gosh, it seems all the “good ones” are born in the 50s, in my opinion that is. But also the year 1960 stand out. For instance Bono is born that year.  Here's Kevin. Yummy. I am glad a single woman has something drool-worthy to look at. What would life be without it!?

Since I last wrote my dear friend of 32 years, Eva and hubby had a baby; Ernst. He was born on October 14^th and is just beautiful! It is this boy I am going to be a godparent to. So proud and honoured by that! They live a good drive from here, but I hope I will see them and little Ernst very soon. Can't wait! 

History studying is hard, but also nice. I have passed all tests and papers so far, and so let us hope it continues that way! Also worth mentioning is the fact that I started on what I am hoping will develop into a book, a novel. It is harsh reality, tough, tragic, about a 16 year old girl and her promiscuous ways looking for something unknown and safe. Living a picture perfect life during the day, and then not so much at night...

I hope you are all doing well

Love Monsoon