Life is good, and then you...

SMILE!

Lately I’ve found myself much more content with myself and my life, and that is a sensation I haven’t, candidly, had for many years. I might have felt happy at times, smiled and laughed, but I have to say that the kind I am experiencing right now comes from the deep. It comes from way inside of me. It begins in the toes, and swaddles and runs in every cell and pore in my body, and then it comes out in my eyes and smile. My face radiates happiness these days, and it feels so good. My mum told me the other day that there was a clarity to my eyes and face that she hadn’t seen since I was much younger. It is true. The best thing is that I know now that no one can take it away from me. It is up to me how I respond to life’s downs. I will pretend to hold problems in my hand, look at them, experience them, and then pretend to put them somewhere where they can be part of me. The biggest difference is that I won’t let them wholly consume me anymore. That doesn’t mean I can’t have pantsy days and bitch about it of course. I am still going to need that sometimes…

May-Bente is my first cousin, and she is two years older than me. She also grew up here, and our mums are siblings. She is a teacher, but is currently training to be a life coach, and I have been one of her “experiments”. I am gloriously happy that I signed up for it. She and I have gotten so much closer, plus we have managed to “save” me. To get me out of my humongous black hole… I’ve done the homework we’ve agreed on, and I am still doing them. Man is helps to be positive. I can’t understand I ever forgot that fact. I used to be much more positive, but too much negatives, bundles of it in a short time, took it away, and I never noticed it before it was “too late”.

I feel like a woman. It might sound weird, because needless to say I am a woman. (Just to clarify; I have never wanted to be a man, it has nothing to do with that) However, I have never really felt that inside. That whole woman-process started with Bob. Never in my whole life had I ever felt like a real woman, but he made me feel that. On a grand scale! I wanted to be his woman. To me the word woman holds a lot of things I’ve never been able to relate to, but thanks to Bob, my cousin May-Bente and my own journey, this is now a word I feel related to. It is all good. (Talking about Bob; I keep dreaming about him in my sleep, almost every night. Gosh! He is yum!)

Enough about that, but I just had to share as I am so exceedingly happy about it.

When I was a toddler I had white curly hair. Then when I was about 3, 5 my mum cut my hair, and my curls vanished never to be seen again. Sadly. However, lately my hair is getting more of its curls back. That is so weird. Yet very welcome. I adore wavy hair. Every time I wash my hair more curls show up. This picture was taken a month ago, and since then my hair has become curlier, especially in the front.

In Norway we call some of them “korketrekker” which translates to corkscrew. I don’t know if that is a word used in English for curls that look like a corkscrew, but that is how some of my curls look like. I do welcome the change though…

I read in the newspaper that masturbation can prevent hay-fever. It is the Iranian scientist Sina Zarrintan who claims so. No wonder I never have hay-fever… ;-) So needless to say I am definitely continuing down that path of prevention … Wee!

Take care!!