Sometimes I am weird

Yeah I am. Ok, this is the story. No "biggy" at all...

Many years ago I found a coin on the street at the place where I live. It was to me a very special coin to find. I have been insanely preoccupied with all things related to WW2, since forever, and this coin was from 1942. In addition, it was a 10 pfennig from the "German Third Reich". It has the eagle and the swastika. A piece of history, and a piece of something that no longer excits. (Thanks be to God!) During the past 10 years or so I have thought the coin lost. I couldn't find it, and I blamed all my moving. (As I have moved to Ireland and back twice, and also moved to Oslo etc. etc.) Then, three weeks ago I sat in my mum's kitchen. She turned around and asked me: "Eilen, can you see what year it says here?" When I saw it I nearly shouted out; My "Hitler coin"!! I got so thrilled. I couldn't believe that during all these years it had been sitting in my mum's kitchen in a little box. But, at last: the 10 pfennig is back with me, and I am really glad that it is. Funny thing; it smells strongly of perfume... Strange. And it's not my perfume. :-)

My point to this was: Is it a bit weird to be 31 and getting over-happy by a tiny thing like this? Most likely... It is not worth much, but to me it is priceless.

It's just like the letters my family has from my relative who fought for USA in WW1. He emigrated to the states in 1911, and fought in the Toul area. In his letters he tells about his horrible experiences. It feels so real, so vivid, to read these pages of history. It's the handwriting of someone who is from my place, Vigrestad, and who fought in this terrible war. He talks about the trenches, the bombings, the terror, the loneliness of loosing ones company, the piercing hunger which even resulted in eating food found in the German "areas". (and this was illegal as they were afraid that this food would be poisoned) I went into the web page of "Ellis Island org", and I was able to find scanned images of the original papers from when he entered the USA through Ellis island on April 19th 1911. It says: List or manifest of alien passengers for the United States Immigration office... And then all the passengers from this particular crossing and ship, Oscar II, are tested for various diseases and more. All this is written on these pages. Oh, it's all so exciting!!!

In 1999, I was on holidays in New York. Fantastic! Me and my friend Irene, spent 7 hours at the Ellis island" museum. I wanted to stay longer, but the last boat back to Manhattan was leaving, so... The buildings have been renovated, and it's the best museum trip I have ever been to. No doubt. I wasn't bored for one tiny second, because everything was incredibly exhilarating.

At school today I asked one of my teachers if he had had a good winter break. His answer was this: "Well, you know. A bit trouble, a lot of stirrings and stuff. During the break I suddenly lost myself a marriage". Oh my God, I felt so stupid! Poor man. But I wasn't to know. We talked a little about relationships and how to get through something like that. Luckily he didn't find me a complete idiot for asking. He is very nice.
Oh and yeah. During the winter break I dreamt that I had this really passionate sex with this very same teacher. I felt that he knew when I saw him today, and I blushed just thinking about it. God, how typical of me. Dreams very similar to this one, only with different people, I've had tons of times. What's up with that? It's not that I fancy these people for real...

Dreading the test on Friday. But I will have to survive it.

Monsoon :-)

He is a true temtation

I nearly fell to the floor when I first saw him today, that's how unbelievably hot he was. He wore my favourite pants and all! The pilot pants. So yummy! I just wanted to ask him: "Are you trying to kill me, or what?" *lol* Everything about him was perfect today. How great it must be to be that gorgeous! I bet that throughout his life he has been fighting women off all the time. And he probably left several girls heartbroken when he tied the knot. When he is around, I cannot get myself to stop smiling. He makes me happy, and he makes me want to live life at the fullest. I have never met anyone like him. Wow. I have so much care and love for him, that it scares me. No words will ever suffice to describe him. It's not possible. Can you tell I am totally in love? And it's all for nothing. Lovely. But, at least I know that I will get over him one day.

When I came home today I had pancakes and bacon waiting for me at my parents house. I usually eat there every Tuesday. I don't mind. Mum's cooking is great.

I am very sensitive today. Awfully aware of my vulnerability. I think that I am having huge problems with dealing with my own emotional deceit towards my ex. I can't forgive myself for falling in love with someone else. And furthermore; continuing to be in love with him when my feelings so obviously were going to destroy my relationship with Inger Marie. But, I have to ask myself this: If everything was at its place, If I totally and utterly loved only her, if that relationship was the best for both of us, would I have fallen in love with someone else? I think the answer is no. A crush could have happened, and it wouldn't have interfered at all. A crush can be a little and innocent zest in life. But this was never a crush. Although I thought it to be, at least for 5 months. It just took me a good while to admit up to that unattainable love...

I can feel the want to cry. My throat is sore, because I try to swallow the urge. But I am sick of crying. So sick I can't begin to explain! And especially when in reality I am quite happy. Why this urge to cry then? Where does it stem from? Panicking? Scared I will never meet someone who will fancy me? Scared I will remain fat and unwanted for the rest of my life? Scared I will turn into a bitter old bitch at 85, complaining about life in my stinking flat, which I share with 14 cats? Scared I won't be smart and intelligent enough to finish my education? Scared I won't ever have sex again? Scared I will end up resentful and regretful for the things I never dared to do?For God's sake; it can't turn out like that. I don't have to be fat, and I will meet someone, I'm sure. But, of course, there's always that pessimistic voice at the back of my head... Don't we love it? But to my luck: I am not all that pessimistic. In fact; I am mostly optimistic. Usually life is quite good, and well worth living!

It's late again. As always. Tomorrow at school I am going to try, and I emphasize try, to help a fellow student with some maths. We're having a test on Friday. For the first time I am considering not going to school. I am not able to do graphs, and I will possibly fail the bloody test. But, I will most likely go to school, conscientious as I am.

Take care you lot! I know I will! Going to bed, hoping for sweet dreams :-)

Monsoon

The early 1990's

What was I thinking?


Oh God daddy, why did I have to go and sit here, just so that you could show people we have seen snow in July...

I look uncomfortable and like I'm in pain. Hilarious face.
And maybe I was. ( hence all the big lumps on my arms.) I had gotten stung like a billon times by mosquitoes.

And what's up with that hairstyle? I blame it on the 80's. Some styles from the glittering 80's got stuck way into the 90's. We now look back at it with horror! This was in 1990, and I was going on 16. We had been on holidays in the east of Norway and were driving home over the mountains.

And notice my lovely "flip-flop" shoes. White ones, to match my infamous typically Norwegian white tennis socks. Yukky.

Who looked good with a home-made permanent wave/T perm? I think nobody did actually.

But, at the time we thought we looked drop dead gorgeous. I know I did. :-)

This is another disasterous hairstyle.





















It looks like a fountain. For the love and honour of God; did I honestly think this was a great look for me? Did I feel hot looking like this? I have no idea. But I wore my hair like this for quite some time. How come no one stopped me? Probably because they all wore their hair in similar appalling ways. Where are the hairstylepolice when you need them, eh? I should have been force cut... Or at least been forced to leave the hair down.

And what about those bright neon pink shorts. Jaysis, the sight of them freak me out they do! Pink was never my colour, but somehow I didn't care. I was going on 18 here. (My birthday is on August 2nd)

Well, that was me. Flicked through some photo albums today, and I just had to share the fountain look. It makes me laugh.

Still hoarse, still red nose, still feeling as attractive as a mummy.

I'll be seeing him tomorrow. Can't wait!

Hugs Monsoon.

Pictures

This is me and Rønnaug in 1994. I just scanned it... I am 20 and she is 19 here. Rønnaug is one of my best friends, and we have been friends since 1990. The pic is taken in the kitchen in Celbridge, in the house I lived in. The address was 281 Crodaun Forest Park






















These pics were just taken. I am borrowing my dad's digital camera, as I don't have one myself. So I am going to take pictures of my flat... Bedroom and bathroom... Well, part of them... And, yes, I do make my bed every day. Ok, some days I forget... hehe...

Before going to bed, late...

.. so late that it's in fact Sunday now...

I miss him so much. Haven't seen him in a while. But he's still on my mind. He is like a constant craving. Well said actually... *lol* No, but really, that's what it feels like most of the time.

I still have a very dark voice, and a bit sore throat too. Despite that; I am really content and happy.

Take care !

Love from Monsoon :-)

Christening and my friend Helene

The Royal family in Norway had a christening today. A little Prince named Sverre Magnus was christened today, in the Royal family's own chapel. Sverre Magnus' older sister, Ingrid Alexandra will be our queen in the future. But her father, Haakon is first in line to be King though. He is 33 years old.



This is Prince Sverre Magnus with his parents; Haakon and Mette Marit





The reason why I write about this is that one of my best friends Helene sang in the christening today. She and I shared a flat for 4 years while I lived in Oslo. She has always wanted to be a singer, and she is living it now! While we lived together she attended the National Opera school in Oslo. I still remember when we found out she was accepted into it! We were ecstatic!
I am so proud of you Helene!



Helene and myself on the first day of us living together. We both look a bit different now. She looks even greater, while I have deteriorated... I am the blond one, of course...



Monsoon

Monsoon finds great taste for you!

HAPPY 31st BIRTHDAY TO EVA!!!!!


TIPS OF STYLE


Oh my God, look at this beautiful table. I can't wait to buy it. It will definetely match my sofa with pillows shaped as kittens, and my wallpaper with huge ducks on it. Who doesn't love furniture with animals on them? I mean, come one!










Here is another favourite of mine. A more handy and stunning piece of furniture has never been made. Look at all the real gold. And also; how handy it must be to have a clock as a part of ones TV and video furniture. Simply a must buy object, for any classy livingroom, if you want to show off your great taste. No one will be able to tell it's all plastic.



















This bathroom set is wonderful. Maybe you are a descendant of some King from the Roman empire, and why not show that with this stylish toiletroll holder, with matching mirror. It will truly be the talk of town. I mean, it's simply a huge chunk of eye-candy...




















The shoe which says it all: I am a whore, I am a streetgirl, I am a punk, I am fancy/posh. Wow. Ask yourself this: "Could I want more from a shoe?" I am sooo cool, and I am digging it, yeah cm'on yo bitch...



















So this was the first of my series of stylish recommendations for your homes and your bodies. I hope you enjoyed it.

I am now going to do something completely different, but that's my secret.

Hugs from Monsoon -finally almost well after being sick all bloody week -

I feel ashamed today

Some days I just feel ashamed of being a part of the wealthy west of the world. Also to the fact that humans are so incredibly cruel. There is so much terror, torture, molesting, abuse, and all sorts of violence out there. Just thinking about it makes me want to run off and hide. I can't deal with it, it's too much to take in.

But at the same time; now that I know, and now that I've seen the truth; I can no longer close my eyes and pretend that the world is pure, and that all I have to mind is my own small world.
On a daily basis I will tend to my world, and my life, but I promise myself that I never will stop counting my blessings, for they are numerous.

I watched the Oprah show today, and they were talking about the child sex industry/trafficking. This is a subject that has disgusted me, and made me more furious and irate than anything else. It is the biggest man-made disaster in this day in age, I think. Even more so when we think about the fact that it is preventable. There are things that can be done to try to stop it, and to educate people about this. But it is difficult. Sex slave traders are highly developed organized criminals who are adept at avoiding laws designed to stop them. In many of the countries where this is most frequent there are certain problems that need to be dealt with. Like the fact that the police, the judicial system, the local authorities, and also the local inhabitants, tend to close their eyes and look the other way. A judge might acquit a man/woman accused of sexual abuse, or other things, for a few dollars. Even if the evidence is compelling and convincing. This teaches the abusers, the kidnappers and perpetrators that there is nothing a fistful of dollars won't fix.

Arrrghh!!! I feel the anger inside of me. The men and women behind these industries. What are you thinking? Who are you? I can't understand that so few preventive things are done to stop it. To stop families from selling their 8 year old daughters into prostitution. A degrading, painful and shameful track in life, where severe physical abuse is recurrent. Some kids might be rescued, but the truth is that their rescue might not be the end of their terror. Some societies look at them with disgust, and tells them that they are outcasts, and that they have brought shame on their families. All this must be turned around. We must teach them that these girls aren't "dirty" and that they are not to be blamed for this.

Another point that is so scary and frightening is the fact that so many men want these girls and boys. They want to have sex with kids as far down as 5 years of age. They want pure tiny innocent virgins. It makes me want to puke. And when one reads and studies the industry we see that the fact is that most of them actually want the younger ones. Teenagers are almost too old. What is this, what does it tell us? How many men are married living ordinary family life, while secretly wanting, and buying, sex from children. Millions. That is unbelievably scary to me. What is it in this world today that makes them want that? There must be something basically wrong with the world. Because it isn't normal, not in any circumstance is it normal to want to have sex with a child. So this results in one horrid question: How many paedophilias are there, like really?!? Uncountable the number is, I think.

Christiane Amanpour is from CNN, and she is brave. She has been trying to dig into this dark, dangerous, and horrifying underworld, and has found shocking truths. Truths that compel us to learn and to try to do what we can to prevent this.

I could go on and on. But I will stop now.

Monsoon - for once showing myself from a different side than your fat-single-in-love-with-married-man-complaining-studying-happy-musicloving girl that I usually am...