What can I say

FUNNY!

Meanwhile; Fuck a doodle doo

I am not sure that I will be writing a lot in my blog following week. It depends.
I have problems sorting things, and there are other reasons as well, that I am not giving away here. I am not content, and I hate writing when I am in a crappy and numb mood.
Hopeless.

I’ll be back.

I am listening to Don’t cry, Neil Young that is. Fucking great song!

Lyrics of the song ONE from U2. Love it.


Is it getting better?
Or do you feel the same?
Will it make it easier on you now?
You got someone to blame
You say

One love
One life
When it's one need
In the night
One love
We get to share it
Leaves you baby if you
Don't care for it

Did I disappoint you?
Or leave a bad taste in your mouth?
You act like you never had love
And you want me to go without
Well it's

Too late
Tonight
To drag the past out into the light
We're one, but we're not the same
We get to
Carry each other
Carry each other
One

Have you come here for forgiveness?
Have you come to raise the dead?
Have you come here to play Jesus?
To the lepers in your head

Did I ask too much?
More than a lot.
You gave me nothing,
Now it's all I got
We're one
But we're not the same
Well we
Hurt each other
Then we do it again
You say
Love is a temple
Love a higher law
Love is a temple
Love the higher law
You ask me to enter
But then you make me crawl
And I can't be holding on
To what you got
When all you got is hurt

One love
One blood
One life
You got to do what you should
One life
With each other
Sisters
Brothers
One life
But we're not the same
We get to
Carry each other
Carry each other


Monsoon

Munch 'N Roses

I am doing fine, a bit dizzy and sick in my stomach right now, but I think my “drugs” are causing that so… Meanwhile; I am having the munchies big time. I think the drugs are causing me to not feel full. I can eat and eat, and be hungry one minute after. It freaks me out is does!

Just had Hege on a visit, which was great. I was bored WAY beyond belief. Not being able to sit up all the time, drives me mental. It was not long before I had dragged a sofa to my computer today... *lol*

Judit came by yesterday, and brought these stunning roses for me. That’s so nice of her, and I appreciated it a lot!! We had a good time talking. She lives in Oslo, but was visiting her parents.

I dared to go out to do a bit of grocery shopping today. Had to go to Bryne as they didn’t have what I wanted here. How unusual. We only have one grocery shop at Vigrestad. Yes, it is a small tiny place… But we have a bank, a kiosk, two, for some reason, florists, a bakery, a gallery, and a massage, aromatherapy + + thingy. But then, we aren’t that many people here either; in 2005 we were 1764 inhabitants.

Both dreading and looking forward to Tuesday. I am anxious to see what it’s all about, and to see if it will do me good. I do hope so. I need it, I need change. I am totally stuck right now, especially emotionally. Going around in circles in my head, not getting anywhere. Don’t appreciate that. Not depressed, just stuck. I don’t really know how to fully explain it. It is tricky. Trying to be positive though, and trying to get out of this place of nothingness.

While out driving today I took these pictures… I thought the light was magnificent, but as usual the pictures don’t give credit to reality.




My mind is exceedingly boring right now, (now that’s the understatement of the century!) and has been for a while I might add, so I think I’ll go. Sorry for killing you slowly with my tediousness.

Kiss kiss, Monsoon :-)

All done

Hi!

Had to share these pictures. In the first one I am just trying to share how well fit the hospital shirt was. Haha!! You should have seen the way I looked. God! Terrible. But this just shows the top half, but every button downwards was spread out, stretched to capacity. Didn't leave a lot to the imagination, so to speak. Hospital shirts, not made for fat people, eh? I had to laugh myself...


I've never had one of these before, well not that I can remember.
Oooh sooo sick... *lol*


I am glad it is over though. When I woke up they asked who is "Bob"? I was like, eeeh.... Just someone. The nurse replied; "it must be someone whom you love a lot, that's for sure". Apparently I had been going on and on about him. They can drug me down, way into sleepy land, but the thought of Bob, they can't take away. *laughing* I will admit, unwillingly, that the first name that came to mind when I woke up was... *drumroll* Bob. He was all I thought about the whole time lying in bed afterwards.

And then I started weeping. I cried for ages, silently in my bed. The nurse came and asked was I in pain. No, but I just feel like weeping I replied. Then she said it was quite normal to cry after having narcosis. I looked dreadful, my mascara had run down my cheeks and had given me this goth look. Yes, I did have mascara on going to the hospital. *blushing* A girl's gotta look her best at all times, isn't that right?

Well, that was all for now. I am in no pain, drugged down as I am. Have slept for hours today.

Thanks to you all for thinking of me!!

Monsoon ;-)

Hot sex!!

Hehe... Got your attention, didn't I. Sorry to say though; this post has nothing to do with sex, as I do not know what that is... Unfamiliar word... doesn't ring a bell...

The fact of the matter is; I need a bit of sympathy, as my cat can't give me any.

Going to the hospital tomorrow for surgery, so you better all think about me at around 11. I will kick you arses if you don’t! *lol* I am glad they rang today actually, because that means I most probably will have to be off school for one day only, and that is tomorrow. Next week is study week. Which is great. You see we have a lot of lectures that are compulsory, and if you are away too much it will have consequences. Like taking that exam and those lectures next year, and I hope it won’t come to that so… I am a tad nervous about tomorrow. Haven't had surgery like that since I was 3 weeks old. I was born with a fused gullet, and nearly died... Poor me! Had emergency christening and all I did... I am not the worrying type, usually, but it’s just that narcosis and being fat don’t mix well. Pray I will be fine.

I have been to Eva today. Taking all sorts of silly and redundant personality tests online. We had fun though. Apparently I am 52 % pure, (As if!) I am 78 % Leo, and if I had my dream car, BMW, my bumper sticker would read; Give me ambiguity - or give me something else. Hmm, yes, I actually invented the word ambiguous… (For those that don’t know me; I am the exact opposite of that, so being a bit ironic there)

My mind is numb today, and I feel there’s nothing in there worth mentioning. There is Bob, sex, surgery, my cat, Neil Young and a bit of sadness…

So I guess this is it.

Monsoon

For it isn’t the virtues, but the faults, that make us human
- August Strindberg

Good old mix

Oh for crying out loud! Why must I be so affected by music, and why to such a gargantuan extent? It is possibly because I do let it grab me, and that I utterly live the music. (Music which deserves me “living” it, I might add) I have been listening to Neil Young a lot today.
His music is nothing short of astounding! It undeniably puts you into a specific peace of mind. For instance; the song “out on the weekend” makes me cry. I just get this really sore and intense sensation within me, and it makes my tears just run. I presume it does me good to shed some tears. “Rockin’ in the Free world” is brilliant, and has me in a good mood, despite the lyrics being not so cheerful. And I think Mr Young is trying to kill me with “Don’t cry”. Holy mother of all that is pure and good in this world… Oh wow!!

Have been to school today, and as I sat on the bus back to town I got an SMS from Line. I got to know her at my old school, and she is still a student there. My bus stops just outside my old school so she told me to stay put there, so that we could set up a “play date”. *lol* It was nice to see her. Only problem is that she has befriended one person I wouldn’t advice even my worst enemy to be with. This person is callous, back-stabbing and talks ill of everyone, including me; spread false rumours about me. Chills down my spine, only thinking about it. I do not appreciate people like that on any level. Enough about that. I could write five million pages on that person, but I don’t want my blog to be an arena for talking ill… I have my diary for that kind of frustrations, eh!? ;-)

There has been a terrible murder in Norway. One brother, allegedly mentally ill, killed his three younger sisters, aged 27, 24 and 13. Oh God, when things like this happen… What to say? It isn’t possible to say or do anything that will make it go away. I feel that cases like this increase in numbers by the year around here. Read about murders almost every day now. When I was younger it happened on a much lesser frequency. What has happened to this country? To its people, that makes us want to kill? I wish I knew, and I wish it was fixable. One thing that needs to be done is certainly to stop cutting back on allocations to the mental health care. Time and time again it is people that have been given up by society, for their mental illnesses, that kill. I can’ start that debate here, because it will have me writing till dawn. This is a topic that I am concerned about, and which I am engaged/occupied by.

It is a good thing they’re training hard, I want them to win win win!! (Look who is talking; who needs working out more than me!?) *giggle* For your information; this is Inter, well some of the players, needless to say.


Is it possible that the song "Bombadilla life" from 1989, correct me if I am wrong, is the worst and most "painful-to-liten-to" song ever created? It is sung by Franklin, and I think they are Norwegian. I want to reach in and pull out my stirrup bone and ear drum so that I can't hear it.

See you!

Monsoon :-)

Do not go in there

Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans…

I got a call today, from someone I had sent an inquiring e-mail to. This “business” is located in Stavanger, near where my old school was before they moved. This call ended with that I am going to do something very exciting, and scary, next week. Hopefully something that will have a profound effect on my lifestyle, my choices, and the way I should be + +. I do not want to share what it is. Not yet anyway. I am glad I am going to try it though, and I might share my experience later.

My head is so full, full of things I want to say, things I mean, things which are important to me, silly stuff, love, and more. I could easily sit in front of the computer and write all day long. Books, short-stories, poems, crappy writing and some good, but there’s just so much of it. I have a hard time sorting the bleedin thing out. I need like a filing system or something. I wish I could divide my brain and its thoughts into folders like on my hard drive. How convenient wouldn’t that be? I could reach in and take out any information required. *lol*
I am glad though, that my busy thoughts aren’t bad, it’s more like a creative chaos…

At times, I wish my brain would give it a rest, as I can’t sit here all day long and just write. I have an education to think about, and that is important to me! However as I read/study my brain wanders into the fabulous world of writing. Bad brain eh!
It’s a good thing that next week is study week. I am behind 50 pages. Not too bad I guess. But I can feel the panic creeping upon me… My first exam is on November 6th and the subject is “Introduction to social work”. Holy testicle Tuesday, help! (yes I know that that was a very immature saying, but I've used it for years for some reason, and I can't seem to shift ot off my tongue...)

At the age of 32 I have finally started my very own recipe book. I have gotten recipes from different friends and I wanted to have a book to write them in, and also from whom I got it.
I always wanted one, as my mum has kept one since I was a child, and I found it neat and cool. I feel very female and domestic… I think I am going to make a cake coming weekend. Hoist the flag, the woman is baking!! *giggle*

Well you know, if I have any plans to get a man I guess being able to compose a decent meal wouldn’t be totally wrong. I better get started! I had a lovely meal today, straight from a bag. hehe... I only had to fry the chicken and cook the rice. Ok, I do know how to cook some things, just not everything like. I am not very good with gravy of any sort, except the ones I can buy in a bag… But I am insanely willing to learn!

This was my dinner today, "Bali chicken casserolle" or something like that.


I guess two posts a day should do it, I simply must shut my hole now.

Monsoon, or Oeinao perhaps. (Oeinao stems from one time I tried to write piano in Elise's blog, and instead wrote oeinao. Yes, my fingers tend to go on faster than my brain eh!!? hehe ;-) )

Peaking are we?

First I want to say that the following is written in a slight exaggerated manner, to make a point. Also it was written with a smile, so don't take all of it immensely serious...

From what I know and have learned, women have their sexual peak in their 30’s. I feel I have been in that peak all my life really… :-)

I am 32 now and well into that 30’s peak. Am I? Can I sense a difference? To that I will shout a resounding and clear YES!!! At times it is "all I can think of". Luckily it doesn’t interfere with my daily life, studies or anything else. It is just always lying there, at the back of my head, “scraping” my brain to make sure I notice it… I think it should be "illegal" to be single during these years; it can drive you nutty it can. :-) Ok, if you are “easygoing”, if you know what I mean, I guess you can always get some… To me, however, who won’t have one-night stands; to me it certainly is quite tricky at times. I have no option but to go on “killing kittens”, and boy do I ever! *lol* (I don’t mean literally; I refer to my post of March 8th, for explanation)

Fortunately I do have friends who are undergoing the same phase of sexual peak. They are all in relationships though, with men who can’t believe their luck. No headaches, constant periods, tiredness or other lame excuses to spot for miles. *lol*

This brings me over to the fact that so many women do not want to have sex with their men, and vice versa. I do not get that. Why? How is it possible to say no? Ok, if my body was in severe pain, and I was totally drugged down, I would probably say no if my man wanted to have a go. I have never said no once, is that deviant perhaps? (And in that I mean said no to my boy/girlfriend) Sex and intimacy is really worth doing. It does wonders to our minds, moods, and it is brilliant for the relationship. I do remember not being instantly in the mood, but then I reminded myself of how great it really is, and then I would be up for it nevertheless. Even if one is unable to go all the way, for some reason, sex/intimacy can be done in so many ways, right...
I do know that times will come where even I will have to say no. There might be emotional or physical reasons, who knows!?

We always hear that men think about sex much more than women. If that is the case, how you get any work done guys, is beyond me. However; I do know that I am the odd one, amongst most of my friends and acquaintances, when it comes to this. I will not be branded though, I am no slut and I am no nymphomaniac either, so there! ;-) I am a normal, open and playful woman, who is more than in touch with her mind and body, and therefore dare to be sexual. I know I have addressed some of this in another blog entry. But I think it is vital for women to see that it is ok to be horny and sexual, despite being woman. It isn’t a guys’ thing, it's a human thing!
But use the wantonness wisely though… ;-)

I have also come to the conclusion that for me this “extreme” feeling may be caused by my utter infatuation by Bob. I mean, he has “been here” for 1 year and 9 months. How sad a case am I?! My point is; the longing towards him and his body make my hormones run a little more wildly than usual... I think so anyways…

This is Vegar, totally hung up on "Roger Waters", hardly noticing I took this photo of him...

Enough now…

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in a possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife. “Pride and Prejudice”

By the way, Viking, a local football/soccer team won today, 1-0 over Tromsø. Important!

Love Monsoon ;-)