A summary of some sort

Hi!

Again, I've stolen something like this from Martha. Yikes. A little summary of the year that passed, in the form of a questionnaire... 

1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?

Hmmm, pondering, I don’t think I did anything that new this year

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Didn’t make any at all…Not this year either. I don't believe in them!  

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Yes, four friends; Rønnaug, Helene, Grete and Moxie

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Yes, my dear granda died in April

5. What countries did you visit?

Haha, none… Haven’t been abroad since 2001

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?

Oh, there isn’t room for it all here, but better health stand out!

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

April 13th, because granda died

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

The two Bs on two big exams, passing my 6 month long work practice and redecorating my spare bedroom/PC-room

9. What was your biggest failure?

God only knows...

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Just the usual headaches, sinusitis, neck and back problems and hip problem as well

11. What was the best thing you bought?

For me? The new furniture for my pc-room, Dell 22” PC monitor, PS2, books, wall stickers, little knick knacks for decorating the home

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?

Mum, "A dreamer" and amazing friends  

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?

One “friend’s” in particular…

14. Where did most of your money go?

TV-series on DVD, electricity, Rent, DVD films, redecorating

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Nothing really, how sad is that. But perhaps Laura’s Graduation stand out!

16. What songs will always remind you of 2008?

Uh huh her with "common reaction", Alanis Morissette with "Versions of violence" 

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Sadder
b) thinner or fatter? Fatter, as usual
c) richer or poorer? Neither

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Being social with friends and moving my body even a little bit

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Eaten

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

I spent it at my parents' house

21. Did you fall in love in 2008?

Nope

22. How many one-night stands?

Yeah right, me and a one-night stand, I don’t think so! So none!

23. What was your favourite TV program?

CSI, Will and Grace, documentaries, Miami Ink, Small people in a big world

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

I don’t really hate people, I can dislike though…

25. What was the best book you read?

Towelhead by Alicia Erian

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Uh huh Her, Giusy Ferreri and some other great Italian ones, and singles from several other groups and artists

27. What did you want and get?

Two books called “Barndom” (Childhood) where one was about your typical childhood in 1970’s and the oher about the 1980’s. These are memorabilia books, which show what we ate, what we watched on TV and what other things were typical of their time. Really great, and a good laugh too!

28. What did you want and not get?

Peace of mind, great health, sex, Bob, a continously tidy bedroom

29. What was your favourite film of this year?

Perhaps not form this year, but I watched them this year; Sophie Scholl - Die letzen tage/Last days of Sophie Scholl and Hard Candy  

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

34years! Oh holy fuck! I had a lovely soup dinner on my parents’ veranda, and then cake that I had made that day

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

If I lost weight and if I could have met Bob

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?

Haha, fashion me arse!! When you are as big as me!?! I am lucky if I find any clothes to bloody wear. Inside of me though, there is a coolly dressed woman!

33. What kept you sane?

Crying, writing, playing Sims and writing/receiving long e-mails to/with Laura

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

William Petersen aka Gil Grissom in CSI

35. What political issue stirred you the most?

The financial crisis worldwide, and also the American election.

36. Who did you miss?

Granda, myself, Bob, Stina and other friends

37. Who was the best new person you met?

No one comes to mind.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008?

You can do it

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

This is how it feels – Veronicas
           

Christmas

I want to wish you all Happy Christmas! To those who celebrate on the eve of the 24th, like I do, and to thoise who celebrate on the 25th! I hope the Holidays will be a fantastic time, full of joy and carefree days together with those who matter.  Enjoy your presents and great food! So this is what I say: God Jul, Glædelig Jul, Feliz Navidad, Buen Natale, Fröhliche Weihnachten, Joyeux Noël,  Nodlaig mhaith chugnat, С Рождеством,  Feliz Natal! 

Lots of love, hugs and hope from EV :-) 

Ramble

One of the headlines this week: Singer Nina Persson from “Cardigans”; has had sex with girls, in a drunken state… Yes, I see how that is vital knowledge for the readers of one of Norway’s biggest newspapers. I mean could information BE more imperative to share!?! The rest of her statements just give you an embarrassed taste in your mouth... Who cares that she dragged girls home after a wet night on town, only to wake up the next day and ask herself what the hell had happened!? I loathe such stunts. Does she think this makes her cool!?! Oooh, look at me, I had sex with girls whom I didn’t know... Puke! And she has the nerve to even say this; well, I don’t really look at myself as lesbian... No!?! Really?! Lesbian after having gay sex when pissed out of your knickers you say. You should be so lucky! I just really hate celebrity stunts like this. Does she need attention?! I think it feeds to the prejudice against gays that says that you can choose it. That you basically can walk into gay’ism one day and walk right out of it the next. Or that it is something we do to be “in”. In what world are they living in, to seemingly think that being gay is in and cool!!? The world around us tells a very different story mind you. Prejudice, murder, hangings, hatred, battering, spitting, or just being left out at school or work... I am inclined to agree with “Lizzy in “Pride and Prejudice” – the series – when she states: “the more I see of the world, the more am I dissatisfied with it; and every day confirms my belief of the inconsistency of all human characters, and of the little dependence that can be placed on the appearance of either merit or sense” . So there! *lol* sorry, but stuff like this really gets to me!!

Soon one month since my last entry; and I who had gotten into a better habit of writing more frequently and all. Ah well, you can’t have it all. I’ve been busy with studying and other stuff. Plus I haven’t had the urge to write, and when I don’t feel the urge from inside, the stuff I write turns out more than crappy. Hey, it turns crappy even when I do have the urge, so trust me! Hehe...

And now it’s December. Oh how I love it. The lights lit everywhere, and the atmosphere shows signs of good things to come. I simply love Christmas, and I can’t wait for it! I adore how my flat, and also my parents’ house are decorated. It is all so cosy. I haven’t done all the decorating yet, as I’ve been busy, but I thought I’d out some out tomorrow. I do have to study some first though. Yuk and double yuk. And, oh oh, I nearly forgot; I got a B on my home exam. I was so glad I cried when I saw the result on student web. Fuck, I was nearly pissing my knickers in fright when logging in, and then this beautiful letter B radiated towards me. I swear, it couldn’t have felt better. The average was C, but there were quite a few who got D and E too. One failed. Two got an A. It definitely isn’t easy to get an A in Norway. Not like in USA. I have a feeling every second student are straight A students there. How it can be like that, I’ve always wondered...

Lately I have felt more of my acting urges inside of me. This is a side of me I rarely speak of, as it is a sore spot. A very horribly sore spot actually, that is what it is. I just feel it in my veins, in my soul, in all my being, it screams acting. And I have tried to oppress that feeling since I was 19, only letting surface from time to time, to taste it a little bit. I do stuff to console myself about this subject, of which I have no intention of telling you about. I’ll say that it keeps me sane, (ish) *lol* and it makes my life and my stupid earlier choices in life easier to bare with. It might sound like it is something dirty and nasty that I do, but fear not, it involves only me and talking. So no harm done. I have told Laura this, and she and I can talk about our dreams, and never felt judged or ego. I love you for that Laura. You are a diamond! Another reason for not talking so much about it; I have a feeling that most of my friends find me utterly stupid and perhaps arrogant and conceited for thinking I could have been a great actress. But, I still do think that that is the only thing I could ever truly have been great at, that and sports when I was younger needless to say. We have this “law” here in Norway, and Denmark, called “Janteloven”, which is written by Aksel Sandemose a Danish writer. Unfortunately this still distinguishes our society in some ways, although it is luckily fading little by little. This is what it says:

English Norsk

You shall not believe that you are somebody.
Du skal ikke tro at du er noe.

You shall not believe that you are as worthy as us.
Du skal ikke tro at du er like mye verd som oss.

You shall not believe that you are any wiser than us.
Du skal ikke tro at du er klokere enn oss.

You shall not imagine that you are any better than us.
Du skal ikke innbille deg at du er bedre enn oss.

You shall not believe that you know anything more than us.
Du skal ikke tro at du vet mer enn oss.

You shall not believe that you are more than us.
Du skal ikke tro at du er mer enn oss.

You shall not believe that you are good at anything.
Du skal ikke tro at du duger til noe.

You shall not laugh at us.
Du skal ikke le av oss.

You shall not believe that anyone cares about you!
Du skal ikke tro at noen bryr seg om deg!

You shall not believe that you can teach us anything!
Du skal ikke tro at du kan lære oss noe

With wisdom like this, no wonder so many dare not stand out and deviate even a smidge form the masses. I know for a fact that the prejudice followed by this thinking, was the main reason for me not daring to try to pursue acting in UK or USA. Like to go to acting school and so on... Needless to say, I loathe this, and wish I had given Janteloven and the people I “feared” the finger, and gone to live how I wanted. But, of course, that is knowing what I know now… Yeah, there are a lot of things I wish I could have told my younger self. Too many to count. But it is all bygones now, and there’s no use in crying over spilt milk, (although I do that sometimes…) so I must look forward to what life will have in stall for me. There are many roads to go down, and let’s hope I will go down the roads that lead to the life I mostly want. In the meantime, I shall live life and try to make the most of it.

Lordy, I've rambled on.... Must go to bed now, more study tomorrow.

EV :-)

War thoughts

I remember many years ago I watched a film about how the world, and especially Europe, would have looked like, had the Nazis won the war. It was a scary sight, but also a very interesting and eye-opening film to watch. I would really like to see it again, as I think it is important with such films. To show the world how horrible our everyday life could be; how mad, “perfected” (into their standards that is!), how brainwashed and how unreal society would be. Not to mention hateful, militaristic, totalitarian frightful, cold and with no room for failure, opinions, or diversity. It was a horror scenario of what could have been… If anyone knows what the film is called, please give me a buzz…

What got me into thinking about this film was a documentary I bought a while ago, but only saw last night. It is a documentary, with both real and fictional footage from the D-Day on June 6th 1944. Such a massive invasion! Seeing it and seeing men who had been there and smelled death and fear tell you their story, oh it made me cry. And it made me so appreciative as well. I thought to myself; what would the world be like had the allies not won this war… And that is how I thought about that “what could have been” film…

I think this is a horrible picture to see; Nazis raising their flag in MY country. Oh, it gives me the chills.

And here you can see all the flags with the swastika on it. This is at the University on Karl Johan's street, in Oslo. Gives me the creeps to see this, and it feels horrible to see that our capitol was heavily decorated with this. I actually feel like I am watching a film or some staged photo, that is how unreal it is to me. But, sadly it was the truth back then. Apparently they were celebrating some sort of thanksgiving.

I know that Norway, as a country, didn’t suffer as much damage or killings as most other countries, but it was terrible for those that lived it nevertheless. We were under occupation, we weren't free. But, even here, there was a NS party, lead by Vidkun Quisling. He tried to do a coup d'état on the day of the German invasion- He had to withdraw after german pressure, but was made Minister-President after being appointed by the German authorities. He was killed after the war, for high treason. We also had both a boy and a girl “hird”. So yes, there were Nazi sympathizer here too, but luckily not many. The resistance and sabotage was great too during the war.

In the area in which I live the Germans built a lot of things. In Sirevåg (10 minutes from me)they dug holes in the skerries alongside the coast, and built watch towers, bunkers, and all such things. Then, to try to hide them form allied air forces, they tried to disguise them as “part of the skerries” by moulding the cement to look like skerries. These bunkers are still here, and you can walk in them and all. Really cool to be in them! Look:

In addition the Germans forced Norwegians to build, what we call here; The Hitler teeth, which is at Brusand, 5 minutes from me. They’re big sharpish stones put on land to prevent any possible allied tanks driving in form the North Sea. These are pictures I took a few weeks ago; as you can see, they’re still here too. (Though sinking and being swallowed by nature... ) And they stretch over kilometres... Story tells that the locals putting the stones up did it as slowly as they could, and with as much soft sand under them as they could, without being suspected for sabotage.

Enough history stuff, I am off!

See you!

L.O.V.E

Love… love… Tasting the word. What does it really mean? I think it means different things for different people. I mean like how you understand it, what you make of it. What does the word L O V E hold for you?! There are many types of love, and I think that to be mostly content, you need some of all the different types. Love from friends, peers, colleagues, parents, siblings, community, school/work, family, that one special person and also some sort of spiritual love as well. And perhaps to top it off; the intimate and sexual form of love too. Some people are lucky to be covered with love from all these, while some are not. Some live hermit lives where the only love they have is the sexual kind they get from the odd hooker. While some live typically A4 perfect lives, with kids, parents, pets, husbands and wives, where love seems to flow like cheap champagne on New Year’s Eve. Then there’s me, and all the other singles out there. Who graciously pretends that the love from family, peers, from friends, pets, from solo sex until batteries wear out, and hands get cramped, or from the occasional fuck-and-run after a wet night out, are enough. This doesn’t mean that I am not insanely glad that I have family and friends, one pet, and my own two hands and a fantasy to please myself, but, and this is a big but; it just isn’t enough. My life is deficient in romantic love. I miss it so much it kills me to look at romantic films, and I am not ashamed to admit it. Does it make me a bad person to admit that the love I am surrouned by isn't enough? I miss the whole concept of love between two people who are committed to each other. I just love being in love, and being in a relationship. Solitude is only great in small portions. Then comes the question; am I ready to put myself out there, to find myself a man/woman? Am I emotionally ready? Sadly the answer is a resounding no! Not by far. I can’t even begin to explain how little I am ready, and that makes me very upset. I want to be ready! I kinda feel ready inside, but then I stop myself because I know that I couldn’t have anyone touch me the way I look. It would feel revolting to me. It just would.

I sound bitter, but I am not. I am writing this with a small smile on my lips, because I do know that there is hope. I do believe that I will find someone who is ideal for me, with both flaws and perfections. With whom I am going to bicker with, over the dishes, economy, toilet seats, computer usage, etc etc… And honestly; I can’t wait to have a good old-fashioned passionate fight. I am a hot-blooded person, and I can get really mad, fast, but then the storm lasts for around 5 minutes, and all is forgotten. I don’t dwell.

Sometimes I think there is one type of love that many people, if not most, forget about in the rush that is our lives. It is the kind that comes second, third or even forth in the line; it is the real profound, and grand love for yourself. How many of us haven’t found ourself thinking; as long as everyone around me is happy, I am happy. I don’t think that that is the whole truth, not if we dare to listen to the voice within… I think it is extremely important to also love and care about oneself. That way we love others better too…

Saturday ramble… I wrote it just as a note-to-self really, but then I thought; hey why not post it in here… so I did… *lol*

I finished my home exam two hours before deadline, and sent it by mail yesterday. Let us hope I’ll pass… One month till next exam. Phew!

And just to clearify, I LOVE my friends so much, and I I wouldn't be who I am without them!

EV ;-)

Stolen form Martha-Anne

I think: that I need to get a grip and study harder

I know: there are many different species of disgusting spiders in the world

I want: to make out with someone (like for instance Chris Garver from "Miami Ink". *drool*)

I have: a lot of things, and probably many I don’t need

I dislike: stress at Uni

I miss: a “lost friend”, Ciara, Cathal, Celbridge, Laura, being thin, Bob, friends who don't live here

I fear: drowning

I love: Blech, what’s the point of it anyway!?

I feel: bloated, fat, distressed and sad

I hear: An Italian song Laura sent me, the rain and terrible wind against the window

I smell: “crispers” crisps

I crave: sweets and sex

I cry: a lot, as I am easily touched and affected by things I hear and see

I usually: tend to make “easy dinners”

I search: the net a lot for information and bargains

I wonder: if I ever will finish my spiritual journey

I regret: not kissing Bob when I gave him his goodbye present

I wish: I was better at being who I want to be, and that I knew a medium/clairvoyant or similar

I care: for my friends, Shira and my family

I always: drink too much Tab X-tra

I worry: I am not the worrying type, but I do worry about exams and results

I am not: in good shape at all!

I remember: better days, my teenage years were FAB!

I believe: in God, paranormal phenomena and spirituality

I sing: every day

I don't always: watch the news

I argue: with myself

I write: a lot (of crap)

I win: when I get good marks at Uni, and when I kick ass at “Worms”

I lose: my eating battle every day

I listen: to music a lot

I can usually be found: at home

I need: friends and family, and sex, yes I do, but I am not having any... *sulking*

I forget: not a lot actually. I remember too much!

I am off to get my parents form their holiday. Well, I am picking them up a the airport. A 45 minute drive, in a MADLY strong wind and lashing hard rain. Love it! Not! It isn't very nice to drive when you can feel how the car is being "pushed off the road" by the wind. But I am looking forward to seeing my parents. I miss them when I don't see them for two weeks, I do.

See you! New exam next Friday. Yikes. Let's hope it'll go well.

Miaow

CONGRATULATIONS to LAURA who graduated on October 1st with honours. Full pot, 110 out of 110. So so proud of you my dear!


Then CONGRATULATIONS to Helene and Halvor who had their first baby, Peder, on October 6th!

Hello!

My angsty exam went quite well after all. I got a C, which was a lot more than I expected. I had literally not read one single line about subject number two. I kinda took a chance, and gambled that we wouldn’t get organization theory, but we did! So, to get a C then is something I am very happy with.

My mum and dad are in Spain, and so while they are there I borrow their dvd/vcr recorder. I am going to copy my 20 years old videos onto DVD, as the poor old videos are quite worn. Especially the one with a Samantha Fox show from 1987 on it, as that has been watched approx. one billion times. She had a Christmas special on Super Channel that year. And as her biggest fan, I recorded it. I remember I was totally obsessed with her. I mean, like almost to the point of craziness. Every fucking day when I came home from school, I’d put the videos of her on, and sit and sing along, plus also mimicking her every facial expression. (Obsessed much!?!?) I am appalled to tell you that when watching it yesterday, I still knew every move her face makes in the video with her song “true devotion”. Oh my! I must admit though, that I still see what I saw in her back then. She was really beautiful and charming actually. One thing that is weirder than me liking her is the mere fact that I didn’t understand I was a bit queer. I can’t comprehend that on any level, looking back... The picture of her below, is one that I had as a gigantic poster. Remember I thought she was so sexy here, in that outfit. I was a dirty little 14 year old, wasn't I!?! *LOL*

I had every wall in my huge room plastered with posters of her, some even topless ones. What heterosexual girl would want that, and find her soooo sexy!? Jesus, Mary and Joseph, what an idiot I was. I still have the posters, and the four scrap books I made in her honour. Those books have comments made by me that read; oh look how hot she is, sexy girl…, beautiful, moan she is hot… *LOL* Save me form such ignorance and “oh-look-at-me-I am-so-bi –that-it-hurts-and-I-have-no-idea-who-I-am -yet”. I actually dreamt about kissing her. How could I think that that was normal? Maybe I didn’t!? I didn’t tell that to my friends, so perhaps I felt that it was odd, deep inside. Here is the “True devotion video” I know by heart. It is a sad and beautiful song!

I was out walking yesterday (hold the front page, call CNN, BBC news and Reuters, for she has once again moved) and I took some beautiful pictures form the forest, or so I thought. Turned out I had been messing with my mobile camera, and set it to take the crappiest pictures ever. Like really bad quality, and so m y pictures didn’t turn out so nice. I was irate when I found out. The lighting was spectacular through the trees, and I so wanted to capture that. Today the weather has been lashing rain, so dull light as well. No point in taking pictures either.

I want to share some old pictures today. I must have been a mental head in my teens. Every second picture of me has me sticking my tongue out or making a face. Weird girl.









And I also want to share a picture of me and two of my friends; Agnete and Helene. It is a nice one actually. We were in “Holmenkollen” in Oslo, awaiting a “which Witch” concert to start. I have never forgotten the shoes I am wearing here. The most comfortable pair ever, and so cool too. I wish I still had them. From left; Agnete, me and Helene (who just had a baby).


Other than that, I am quite well. Stomach is acting out, and I have a virus in my eyes. I guess that is the two most exciting things that have happened in my life. Weee!! But, that's ok. I hope this post finds you all well, my dear blogger friends!

Love EV :-)

Yeah it is me

Oh Lordy, for some odd reason I searched for Cadbury sweets online. I wanted to see if I could buy Cadburys there, and guess what I COULD! I nearly choked with happiness. Not only did I find Cadbury’s crème egg (excuse me while I jump up and down in joy all whilst drooling like a fucking eejit) but I also found “turkish delight” (YUMMMMMMMY!!) and toffee bonbons covered in icing. These all remind me of living in Ireland you see, so this is quite a happy occasion for me... I placed an order for Turkish delight, as the crème eggs weren’t in. I can’t wait to stick my teeth into a rose “turkish delight”. It is sooo good, and darn impossible to find here. Ever since I saw “the lion the witch and the wardrobe”, for the first time, and watching Edmund eating the delights he got from the wicked witch, I have dreamt about trying it. And then when I lived in Ireland, Brendan, my “dad” there, bought some for me after being away on bird watching. I ate them in an almost holy state of mind... Yes, I am a bit strange...

Jaysis, yesterday the new government budget was presented. I am appalled at many things, but some were ok too. In Norway we have a custom toll rule that says we can’t import anything, except books, that is valued to more than £ 18.50 / 32.60 $, without having to pay 24 % tax and some other costs as well. I think this is a load of shite! And extremely vexing!!! When I order online, from say amazon.co.uk, I always have to make sure my orders don’t exceed that amount, or I will have to pay hefty for it! And I order online a lot! Now the government, who promised to raise this level of import toll on all merchandise if they were voted into government, have decided that one line of garment will become duty free. Guess what; knickers! Oh my, excuse me while I party to that decision... Is that supposed to make up for their lack of promise keeping!?! Duty free underwear me arse! Bollix to them! In addition, the price on soft drinks like coca cola is increased with a whopping 61 %. I mean, is that even legal!? Did I say I LOATHE a lot of the things this particular government has done... And by that not implying that I hate the parties “on call”. I intend not to be political in here, as I have my face on this blog, so that is all I want to say. Or actually, let’s mention one more thing; please God let Barack Obama become the next president of the USA! I will not embroider on what I think about the other one... Gives me the chills that one, as does the wise president. (Even more) There, I’ve expressed a tiny bit of political standpoint.

Exam of the 26th of September went kinda ok, or so I hope. The part about law went fine, but the second part not so much. I just hope and pray I won’t fail. Even an E will make me smile this time, and I am not joking you! (for those who don’t know, is the last grade on which you pass) I think by next Friday the result will be in, as it takes a while to correct 60 something students’ papers, as we write about 15-20 A4 pages each. Cross fingers!

My friend Helene and her husband Halvor got a little baby boy, Peder, on October 6th. Congratulations to them!!! So happy for you guys! Can’t wait to meet him.

I have to vent one thing... It has had me worried lately. It is my mum’s health. To tell a short story; my mum was born without both hip sockets, and with a limp. As an infant she got both new sockets put in, without any sort anaesthesia and was in plaster up to under her arms for most of her first 3 years. In addition she hardly ever saw her parents during that time. She has been maltreated by the health services a lot, and when she finally was heard in 1991 the orthopaedist was appalled when he saw her x-rays, and said; “you shouldn’t be able to walk, damn woman!” instead of resting/using her hips sockets to keep herself up, she had used her pelvic bone and other nearby bones... They were all almost worn down. Lately her health has become worse and worse, yet she keeps on trucking. Mum never gives up, despite having lived all her life with A LOT of pain. She is amazing, and the most selfless person ever and I love and admire her more than anyone. Then this week she suddenly got a horrible pain in her foot, on top of all other pain, and could hardly move. And of course that happens when they are supposed to go to Spain for two weeks on Saturday. She deserves two weeks of holiday and relaxation. Growing up I got used to her illness and disability, and I didn’t always notice it. She had better periods too, and she doesn’t really have a limp any more. But lately it’s become such a sorrow for me. It is like it is finally sinking in. I’ve always known, and wished there was something I could do... but yesterday I just cried for ages and ages, I screamed to God to give her some peace (pain free days like...) and I just felt so incredibly helpless, and SO IRATE! There is nothing I can do, except help her practically. But then my back is bad, and so it isn’t easy for me either. Oh it bloody sucks! After my surgery next year hopefully I will lose weight and be able to help her out more. Hasn’t she had enough by now?

EV