Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition

I am hungry!! Hungry, do you hear!? In addition I am dying for sweets so much I bet I could smell a Snickers bar from 100 metres away. Eating small dinner portions sucks, well so far anyway. It’s always like that in the beginning. Isn’t it now that I am supposed to tell myself the following: Oh how nice that gnawing stabbing hungry feeling is in my stomach… Especially as that means I am living healthy and depriving myself from “all” of life’s goodies. I think it would be easier if I at least had a boyfriend I could munch on. Not literally, but someone (BOB!!) to do certain things with. Ya know…
*blushing as I am sounding awfully desperate* Hihi…

Feeling hungry reminded me of an Ellen episode where she is on this spa trip with her friend Paige. They think it’s a pampering spa, but as it turns out it is a “eat nothing and work the hell out” spa… One day the leader tells Ellen: “It is now you should listen to the voice within telling you to get up early, work out and eat healthy.” Ellen replies: “Funny, my voice is saying sleep in late, eat whatever you want, you can wear baggy clothes.” *lol*

I got two lovely things in the mail today; “Ellen”, complete series 4, and “Mad about you”, complete series 2. Woo hoo!

Three weeks ago I bought the ingredients for this cake I was going to try to make. I emphasize try, as you all know I am not exactly a gourmet cook. (Although would love to be insanely good at cooking) For some reason the vanilla custard is still standing beside the fridge, and every time I go to open its door, the custard kinda smirks at me… I might consider doing something about that. The only problem is; will I honestly be able to have a cake in the freezer and not eat it? I am not sure I want to find out. Surely the cake would lie in there saying to me, in a most seductive way; “Monsoon, come… come… come… eat me…” until I just cave in… Isn’t that always the case? Like when out shopping; I swear that packet of crisps jumped into the trolley itself, as did the ice cream.

This is “komle” by the way. It looks disgusting. But don’t let that fool you, as the taste is divine… One of my absolute favourite dinners!!!


Komle is made of uncooked potatoes that we mash into “porridge”, and then we mix it with flour. We form them into small round things and cook them. Then we eat it with salted lamb, turnip and carrot. However; I do not like cooked carrot or turnip so none of that for me. The plate displayed here is therefore my dad’s, as my brother ordered me to take a picture of dad’s plate instead of mine. Mine was apparently too sad looking… So what if I don’t like cooked carrot or turnip. I do like all other vegetables, so there! *lol*

I am now going to watch Ellen I think... Or kill some worms? (the game, not real worms mind you)

Monsoon - wacky head -

Ps Was at Eva's today! Lovely!

VISITOR NR 2000...

...just ticked in. Cool!! Just had to point that out, as it was such "round" number. 
Can you say that in English? I honestly do not know. He/she was from United Kingdom. 

Endless wire, and endless love

Approximately 4o years ago two girls were out walking when a car stopped beside them. In the car were 4 boys, who asked the girls to get in for a ride. One of the girls wanted to see of any of the boys were cute, before she said yes, so she peeked in. She saw one, and got in and sat beside him. On the 30th of October that year, 1966, they became a couple. They were 14 and 16 at the time. Today they are 54 and 56, and are celebrating their 40th year as boyfriend/girlfriend. I am talking about my parents.

They have taught me so much about true love. The kind which even after years together, still can make you giggle and feel like you just met.

Dad calls home several times a day, and in the car on his way home. He can’t wait to get home to see my mum, that’s all… They are “always” together, and they hardly ever do anything without the other. I remember when my dad worked away from home like 7 years ago. At the day of his arrival, mum would dance around and sing: “My boyfriend is coming home, my boyfriend is coming home”. All while she smiled the biggest smile, and had a look of happiness and anticipation in her eyes. They have never been afraid to show us kids that they love and care for each other. We have always been able to see them kiss, hug and flirt with each other, and they still look like they are “giddy in love like two 18 year olds”. It’s wonderful! How do they keep the spark even after 40 years? Wow. I congratulate it and take my hat off, as this is hardly the norm these days. I am not saying they are the only ones who are like this, of course...
But one hears about so many couples who do stay together, but maybe for other reasons than the two of them as a couple. Perhaps for the sake of the kids, or for the sake of security, anxiety and “out of the habit of it”. But true passionate love, the lasting kind, is actually hard to find. So mum and dad; I love you, and thanks so much for letting me grow up in a home where love was obvious and where I was always allowed to be myself.

Meanwhile I am now holding the new The Who album in my hands, and it is playing on my computer. Aah! *Sighing and smiling like a fecking idiot.* But I cannot describe my gratitude to Pete for releasing the utterly desperate and amazing song; in the ether. I first heard it on “Basement Jam” last year, and it blew me away.

I went and said hi to Vegar today. Just a quick visit, as he was at work, and I was on my way to buy The Who. We are going out together nest Tuesday after school and work. Looking forward to it.

Really utterly annoyed that Viking lost 4-1 last night. I so don’t want them to play in "1. division." Yuk! But it looks bad.

I have this insane headache, it’s fucking killing me. I might lie down. I am sure it’s because of the lack of “the unmentionable”, aren’t you!? *lol*

This is mum and dad at their wedding day in 1972, two years before they had me.




Monsoon - looking for that lasting kind - (found him, but need to find new)

Football much...

Hi! I am watching football again. Viking is basically fighting for their 
life in the top series in Norway.
The standing is 1-1 right now. At 20.30 Helen is coming to me as well, which is why I don't think I'll write anything today. But I can say I've had a relaxing and good day.  

Going to school tomorrow, and after that: BUYING THE WHO'S NEW ALBUM!!!! YEEEA!!

Monsoon

A quick one while he's away

I am watching Series A, Inter versus Milan... Inter 2 Milan 0 after half time. Oooh! Exciting. I really hope they can hold out and win. It's extra important to beat the crap put of Milan, as they're both Milano teams. I'll be back after the match and do some writing. Stankovic scored a beeeautiful goal. I think that so far in the series he is Inter's best player. I feel so silly sitting here screaming in ecstasy when Inter scores. The people under me must find me a tad weird that gets all wound up watching football all alone. What should I do though? None of my friends, nearby, are football fans at all.

YEEEAAAHHH!!!! Inter won!! 4-3.

I am telling you; holy mother what a match. What drama, what heat and intensity, and not the least; excitement!! My heart was pounding like crazy! Hair is standing straight up because I've been pulling it so much. When I am nervous I seem to do all these weird things like pull my hair, jump up and down, and squeeze my teeth!? Italian football rule! I simply must go to Italy to see a match.

Other than that I've had a very pregnant Rønnaug on a visit, she is due in two weeks. Looking fab! It was lovely to see her, and I enjoy spending time with her. When she left I don't know what I did, probably something boring like hell. At around half 5 I went to Karin to "teach" her some Spanish words and sentences. She is going to Mexico in less than two weeks.

That visit taught me that I definitely need to touch up on my Spanish. I know what I will do tomorrow. Write Elise an e-mail to practise. If I get the time. I am going home to mum and dad for "komle". A norwegian dish which I have a very hot relationship with; I love it, deeply. *lol* I'll take a picture for you to see. It looks quite vile actually, as it consists of grey lumps, meat, turnip and melted butter. But I will tell you this; it does taste wonderful.

Eva and I had chinese yesterday, and we had a terrific evening together. She is great that girl.

There isn't so much more to say, as there's still mostly one thing on my dimwit brain; "he-who-shall-not-be-mentioned"

Monsoon

Tomorrow, tomorrow, the sun will come out

I want to run
I want to hide
I want to tear down the walls
That hold me inside
I want to reach out
And touch the flame
Where the streets have no name

I want to feel, sunlight on my face
See that dust cloud disappear without a trace
I want to take shelter from the poison rain
Where the streets have no name

Yes, that is exactly what I want to do. That’s where I want to go, that’s what I want to do.
“Where the streets have no name” has always managed to take me wherever that unknown place might be. It takes me so high, because of its terrific guitar and energy. I am totally in “Oh dear God I would just die without music” mode today, so I thought I’d post my TOP 15 songs, at the moment, of U2 and The Who.

U2

Out of control
Bad
With or without you
Mysterious ways - has to be the version from bootleg CD “Outside Broadcast”
Where the streets have no name
Silver and gold
Exit
Dirty day
Acrobat
So cruel
The unforgettable fire
When I look at the world
Party girl
Ultra violet
Tomorrow

The Who

Bargain
The seeker
Love reign o’er me
Baba O’Riley
Too much of anything
Relay
Pure and easy
Won’t get fooled again
Pinball wizard
Time is passing
Song is over - has to be the version where he starts singing the lyrics from “Pure and easy” at the end. Un-fucking-believable!!!
Behind blue eyes
Love ain’t for keeping
Join together
Going mobile

An event is about to take place coming Monday. My beloved The Who are giving out their next album; Endless Wire. Oh holy crap! I can't wait! I will definitely be buying it in town on Monday. It's been how many years since they last released a studio album? I think it's like 24 years, which means that as a fan I have never experienced a release.
No wonder I am giddy and excited like crazy! LOVE THEM!!

Well we had our Blue Cross presentation today and the teachers praised our work afterwards. I was quite nervous beforehand, but I managed to look calm and collect, and I even smiled and laughed a little. Remarkable! I am glad it’s over, and tomorrow I can just sit down and relax myself listening to the rest… Aaaah…

So tomorrow my new life starts. I am excited. And for once I am looking forward to it.
And for you supportive ones out there; this isn’t a diet, not at all. Diets don’t work. If they did I don’t think anyone would be overweight. I am trying to make this a part of my life, a new and healthier way of living. Can’t wait for the results to tick in… The thrill of having lost another kilo. It is a most fabulous and encouraging feeling.

Well, see you all.

Right now I don’t have much more on my mind. Still broken you know…

But leaving with a treat from Engrish. It's supposed to be Hello Kitty, not Hitty. Whatare they trying to say here!?!? So funny! *lol*

Monsoon

Will I ever shut my gobshite?

Well hello there.

Here I am, as usual. This is addictive, I’m telling you!
Got my hair cut today, as I was starting to look like I was saving for long hair, which I am not! So I cut about three tons of it, mind you; I still have a good deal of hair left. It looks ok I think. At least Eva said so, when I visited her afterwards. *lol*

Then I drove home, only to find Helene had left me a message on my mobile, which I for some reason had left at home. Helene is the girl that I shared the flat with for 4 years in Oslo. She was home visiting her parents, and also to do some opera singing. She is very talented. We were just talking about how amazing it is every time we meet; we connect instantly and we can talk for hours and hours. It’s like we only saw each other yesterday. (No wonder I like “him” so much, they share birthday) And yes, dare I speak his name, Bob was mentioned more than twice this evening, I will admit that. Had to let some emotions out…

Have the presentation tomorrow. I am not dreading it as much as I thought I would. I think what my coacher did to me yesterday helped. Cool…

Friday is the day I will start changing my eating habits, again. I can’t give up now can I? I can never stop believing that this time is different, that this time will be IT. I have lost about 57 pounds, so I do have the ability to do it, don’t I? I’ve set a day, so that I can focus on that and prepare myself emotionally. I have found things in my diet that I need to lose, and things I need to add, to make it more nutritious. I feel confident that I will stick to it.

A friend is changing too, so we will support each other. I think being two will do us both good. Otherwise; it does get a bit lonely. I don’t think anyone who isn’t severely overweight like me, can comprehend what the mere thought of having to lose 140 pounds will do to ones brain. It is depressive, it seems virtually impossible, and it scares the living daylights out of me. Such a HUGE task to take on, it drains your mind and body of all energy. But I will give myself this treat, because that’s what it is…

Going to bed now, it’s past midnight, again. So now it’s not Wednesday anymore…

Monsoon – love him - *pretending I never noticed what I just wrote*

Entry number 300!

Hi there!

Congrats to me; this is my 300th blogentry. I guess we have established that I have a need to ramble. *lol*

Just thought I’d do some writing. I am sitting here listening to music, and of what I am feeling and who I am thinking of; I will shut my mouth.

Have been to my thing for the third time today, and I think it is doing me good. It is called coaching actually, and it is a very solution oriented form of “therapy”. I write “therapy” because I do not see it as therapy as such. He is mainly helping me to focus on thoughts and sentences that are good for me. In addition he is trying to rid me of my way too negative and untrue, view of my own being. When I mentioned that I went to Sonans, he told me that he knows the principal I had there. She was great, but unfortunately she was only substituting.

In many ways I totally miss that school. “The real world” at University is way scary for someone who thinks they are too fat to be worthy of any kindness… Because of that I tend to stay away from people, and telling everyone with my body language; “I do not want to get to know you, so bugger off!” When the fact of the matter is that I would LOVE to talk to them, and to make new friends. Why do I to these extremely stupid things? One has to start wondering if I have any brains at all…

Yesterday I was at Blue Cross at Sandnes, kinda like a field trip to go see one of the many places a “sosionom” works. (“Sosionom” is somewhat a social worker in English. I am short of a good translation.) They work with drug and alcohol abusers, together with people addicted to slot and gambling machines. We asked a bunch of questions and then today we met up at school to write a report. Then coming Thursday or Friday we are going to present it to the rest of the class. Guess who is dreading that? Could it be meeeee? Oh no, because I am little Miss Security, who simply loves standing in front of people and speak. I never used to mind, but after getting fat I do. I am so sick of stopping myself in living just because I have a lot of fat stored on my body. Who the fuck gives a shite anyway? If anyone should care and find me disgusting; so what? What does that have to do with me? Do I have to befriend these persons? No.

Enough.

Ok, this post ended up a bit depressive, and I didn’t mean for that to happen. I am feeling somewhat ok, though I do struggle with the obvious.

I am hoping to meet Vegar soon. It’s been a while, and I miss him.

I am now going to play “Worms world party”, a hilarious game of killer worms. Highly addictive I might add.

Monsoon