Holy crap. Every day, in a gazillion adds on the web, and everywhere I look, there are adds for increasing your sex drive. If people weren't feeling stressed about having to feel horny all the time, and being ready to go all the time, these adds surely don't help. I mean, you see it all over, and so you feel that if you don't feel up to it at least 5 times a week, there must be something wrong with you. Or maybe you just don't get turned on by your partner any more? Because apparently it is normal to be horny 100 % of the time. What, do they want men to walk around with enormous erections at all times? That sounds a bit impractical if you ask me. Can you imagine all the male teachers going around like that? (although for me, that would probably be cool, as I am well-known for my weakness for teachers... ;-)) Or priests, or your dentist? *lol* Do they want women to be constantly erected, slightly less visible than the men I might add, as well? Like that is a good thing!? It doesn't fucking help to pop pills like there's no tomorrow, if you want your sex drive to be hardy. It's all in one's head, most of the times. I know that some people have rare conditions that might impact the sex drive, and also that anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medicine can reduce the sex drive, but I am not talking about people affected by this, as that is a whole other discussion. Mind you, I think that just because it says on the side-effects that change in the sex drive might occur, "everyone" who takes those pills, experiences it. I shall not hide the fact that after the almost-rape and verbal abuse 10 years ago, I took anti-depressant for 10 months. However, I did not experience a decrease in my sexual lust. The one time I had "problems" with reaching an orgasm during sex, throughout these 10 months, it was more due to the fact that some memories of the abuse became a little too familiar. Luckily, I got over that fairly quickly!
Anyway, back to the urge to make us feel weird if we aren't over-horny wankers the lot of us. I think it sends a very wrong picture. Can't people just be as horny as they are in their own, and want to be? Must we all be super humans? I feel they want us women to be the best nurturing mums, the compassionate friend and daughter, taking care of everyone, being a true lady, but then as night falls, suddenly we must transform ourselves into these sexual beasts that want only one thing, and wanting it several times. Lady in the street, tramp in the sack... For many women this transition is a really hard one to make. The nurturing mum, feeding your child breast milk, and then 10 minutes later your husband wants to suck on that same nipple, and suddenly it's supposed to feel sexy?! It can't be easy, not at all. Now, I don't have children, and as I am 36 and have eyes only for one, hot-damn guy who's 55, I am foreseeing with my psychic abilities that the probability for me having a child is quite on the low end of the scale. So, I don't know how I would react to that transformation from soft mum to vixen within ten minutes, but something tells me I could do it. I am a bit on the odd side of things when it comes to the sexual matters, as I have addressed before in this very blog. Of course many women can do it as well, but I am just feeling for all those women, and men, who feel pressured to measure up and can't quite make it to where they feel they must be... It must be so annoying to see such adds all the bleedin' time!
I, on the other hand, sometimes think to myself when I read stuff like: " have no sex drive? Try these pills, they will increase your drive with 25%", that could you possibly find pills that do the opposite? Because I am one horny woman of 36 who haven't had sex in over 5 years, and I am telling you; I'd love to go one day without being insanely wanton, and "having" to ride the one armed bandit a LOT! Seeing Bob didn't exactly help this particular matter. Could I want him more!?! On any level!? NOOOOO!!! The way he moves, oh dear God, just kill me now. He is insanely sensual and his hands move in the most enticing ways. I think I'd pass out if he just brushed his hand against my thigh, even for one second... Haha!
I say let people decide for themselves what is normal for them. Some couples are at it a lot, others aren't. What is normal to one person, is normal, even if the next person isn't the same. The trick is to find one who is horny approximately as much as you are. From past experiences I know that that is really important, to me at least. I wish these were things one could ask on the first date, without being looked at as a mental person just waiting for the men in white frocks:
- when are you the most horny, like during the day?
- are you willing to play, learn and explore your sex life?
- do you find that you trust you penis to do all the work, and that's it?
- are you aware of the fact that you have fingers and a tongue?
- will you accept the fact that your woman masturbates, in addition to having sex with you?
- do you frown upon erotic/porn films?
I am sure I could add more questions, but that's all for now. I have written a lot of thoughts and yet probably not concluded with anything, but that's just it; there aren't any real solutions. I just wish the media and advertising industry would let us be, and let us have the sex drive we have, unless it bothers us, then we'll get help. This way we just feel pressured to be constantly horny and ready, and that isn't right...
Love and light - Monsoon -
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