War thoughts

I remember many years ago I watched a film about how the world, and especially Europe, would have looked like, had the Nazis won the war. It was a scary sight, but also a very interesting and eye-opening film to watch. I would really like to see it again, as I think it is important with such films. To show the world how horrible our everyday life could be; how mad, “perfected” (into their standards that is!), how brainwashed and how unreal society would be. Not to mention hateful, militaristic, totalitarian frightful, cold and with no room for failure, opinions, or diversity. It was a horror scenario of what could have been… If anyone knows what the film is called, please give me a buzz…

What got me into thinking about this film was a documentary I bought a while ago, but only saw last night. It is a documentary, with both real and fictional footage from the D-Day on June 6th 1944. Such a massive invasion! Seeing it and seeing men who had been there and smelled death and fear tell you their story, oh it made me cry. And it made me so appreciative as well. I thought to myself; what would the world be like had the allies not won this war… And that is how I thought about that “what could have been” film…

I think this is a horrible picture to see; Nazis raising their flag in MY country. Oh, it gives me the chills.

And here you can see all the flags with the swastika on it. This is at the University on Karl Johan's street, in Oslo. Gives me the creeps to see this, and it feels horrible to see that our capitol was heavily decorated with this. I actually feel like I am watching a film or some staged photo, that is how unreal it is to me. But, sadly it was the truth back then. Apparently they were celebrating some sort of thanksgiving.

I know that Norway, as a country, didn’t suffer as much damage or killings as most other countries, but it was terrible for those that lived it nevertheless. We were under occupation, we weren't free. But, even here, there was a NS party, lead by Vidkun Quisling. He tried to do a coup d'état on the day of the German invasion- He had to withdraw after german pressure, but was made Minister-President after being appointed by the German authorities. He was killed after the war, for high treason. We also had both a boy and a girl “hird”. So yes, there were Nazi sympathizer here too, but luckily not many. The resistance and sabotage was great too during the war.

In the area in which I live the Germans built a lot of things. In Sirevåg (10 minutes from me)they dug holes in the skerries alongside the coast, and built watch towers, bunkers, and all such things. Then, to try to hide them form allied air forces, they tried to disguise them as “part of the skerries” by moulding the cement to look like skerries. These bunkers are still here, and you can walk in them and all. Really cool to be in them! Look:

In addition the Germans forced Norwegians to build, what we call here; The Hitler teeth, which is at Brusand, 5 minutes from me. They’re big sharpish stones put on land to prevent any possible allied tanks driving in form the North Sea. These are pictures I took a few weeks ago; as you can see, they’re still here too. (Though sinking and being swallowed by nature... ) And they stretch over kilometres... Story tells that the locals putting the stones up did it as slowly as they could, and with as much soft sand under them as they could, without being suspected for sabotage.

Enough history stuff, I am off!

See you!

L.O.V.E

Love… love… Tasting the word. What does it really mean? I think it means different things for different people. I mean like how you understand it, what you make of it. What does the word L O V E hold for you?! There are many types of love, and I think that to be mostly content, you need some of all the different types. Love from friends, peers, colleagues, parents, siblings, community, school/work, family, that one special person and also some sort of spiritual love as well. And perhaps to top it off; the intimate and sexual form of love too. Some people are lucky to be covered with love from all these, while some are not. Some live hermit lives where the only love they have is the sexual kind they get from the odd hooker. While some live typically A4 perfect lives, with kids, parents, pets, husbands and wives, where love seems to flow like cheap champagne on New Year’s Eve. Then there’s me, and all the other singles out there. Who graciously pretends that the love from family, peers, from friends, pets, from solo sex until batteries wear out, and hands get cramped, or from the occasional fuck-and-run after a wet night out, are enough. This doesn’t mean that I am not insanely glad that I have family and friends, one pet, and my own two hands and a fantasy to please myself, but, and this is a big but; it just isn’t enough. My life is deficient in romantic love. I miss it so much it kills me to look at romantic films, and I am not ashamed to admit it. Does it make me a bad person to admit that the love I am surrouned by isn't enough? I miss the whole concept of love between two people who are committed to each other. I just love being in love, and being in a relationship. Solitude is only great in small portions. Then comes the question; am I ready to put myself out there, to find myself a man/woman? Am I emotionally ready? Sadly the answer is a resounding no! Not by far. I can’t even begin to explain how little I am ready, and that makes me very upset. I want to be ready! I kinda feel ready inside, but then I stop myself because I know that I couldn’t have anyone touch me the way I look. It would feel revolting to me. It just would.

I sound bitter, but I am not. I am writing this with a small smile on my lips, because I do know that there is hope. I do believe that I will find someone who is ideal for me, with both flaws and perfections. With whom I am going to bicker with, over the dishes, economy, toilet seats, computer usage, etc etc… And honestly; I can’t wait to have a good old-fashioned passionate fight. I am a hot-blooded person, and I can get really mad, fast, but then the storm lasts for around 5 minutes, and all is forgotten. I don’t dwell.

Sometimes I think there is one type of love that many people, if not most, forget about in the rush that is our lives. It is the kind that comes second, third or even forth in the line; it is the real profound, and grand love for yourself. How many of us haven’t found ourself thinking; as long as everyone around me is happy, I am happy. I don’t think that that is the whole truth, not if we dare to listen to the voice within… I think it is extremely important to also love and care about oneself. That way we love others better too…

Saturday ramble… I wrote it just as a note-to-self really, but then I thought; hey why not post it in here… so I did… *lol*

I finished my home exam two hours before deadline, and sent it by mail yesterday. Let us hope I’ll pass… One month till next exam. Phew!

And just to clearify, I LOVE my friends so much, and I I wouldn't be who I am without them!

EV ;-)

Stolen form Martha-Anne

I think: that I need to get a grip and study harder

I know: there are many different species of disgusting spiders in the world

I want: to make out with someone (like for instance Chris Garver from "Miami Ink". *drool*)

I have: a lot of things, and probably many I don’t need

I dislike: stress at Uni

I miss: a “lost friend”, Ciara, Cathal, Celbridge, Laura, being thin, Bob, friends who don't live here

I fear: drowning

I love: Blech, what’s the point of it anyway!?

I feel: bloated, fat, distressed and sad

I hear: An Italian song Laura sent me, the rain and terrible wind against the window

I smell: “crispers” crisps

I crave: sweets and sex

I cry: a lot, as I am easily touched and affected by things I hear and see

I usually: tend to make “easy dinners”

I search: the net a lot for information and bargains

I wonder: if I ever will finish my spiritual journey

I regret: not kissing Bob when I gave him his goodbye present

I wish: I was better at being who I want to be, and that I knew a medium/clairvoyant or similar

I care: for my friends, Shira and my family

I always: drink too much Tab X-tra

I worry: I am not the worrying type, but I do worry about exams and results

I am not: in good shape at all!

I remember: better days, my teenage years were FAB!

I believe: in God, paranormal phenomena and spirituality

I sing: every day

I don't always: watch the news

I argue: with myself

I write: a lot (of crap)

I win: when I get good marks at Uni, and when I kick ass at “Worms”

I lose: my eating battle every day

I listen: to music a lot

I can usually be found: at home

I need: friends and family, and sex, yes I do, but I am not having any... *sulking*

I forget: not a lot actually. I remember too much!

I am off to get my parents form their holiday. Well, I am picking them up a the airport. A 45 minute drive, in a MADLY strong wind and lashing hard rain. Love it! Not! It isn't very nice to drive when you can feel how the car is being "pushed off the road" by the wind. But I am looking forward to seeing my parents. I miss them when I don't see them for two weeks, I do.

See you! New exam next Friday. Yikes. Let's hope it'll go well.

Miaow

CONGRATULATIONS to LAURA who graduated on October 1st with honours. Full pot, 110 out of 110. So so proud of you my dear!


Then CONGRATULATIONS to Helene and Halvor who had their first baby, Peder, on October 6th!

Hello!

My angsty exam went quite well after all. I got a C, which was a lot more than I expected. I had literally not read one single line about subject number two. I kinda took a chance, and gambled that we wouldn’t get organization theory, but we did! So, to get a C then is something I am very happy with.

My mum and dad are in Spain, and so while they are there I borrow their dvd/vcr recorder. I am going to copy my 20 years old videos onto DVD, as the poor old videos are quite worn. Especially the one with a Samantha Fox show from 1987 on it, as that has been watched approx. one billion times. She had a Christmas special on Super Channel that year. And as her biggest fan, I recorded it. I remember I was totally obsessed with her. I mean, like almost to the point of craziness. Every fucking day when I came home from school, I’d put the videos of her on, and sit and sing along, plus also mimicking her every facial expression. (Obsessed much!?!?) I am appalled to tell you that when watching it yesterday, I still knew every move her face makes in the video with her song “true devotion”. Oh my! I must admit though, that I still see what I saw in her back then. She was really beautiful and charming actually. One thing that is weirder than me liking her is the mere fact that I didn’t understand I was a bit queer. I can’t comprehend that on any level, looking back... The picture of her below, is one that I had as a gigantic poster. Remember I thought she was so sexy here, in that outfit. I was a dirty little 14 year old, wasn't I!?! *LOL*

I had every wall in my huge room plastered with posters of her, some even topless ones. What heterosexual girl would want that, and find her soooo sexy!? Jesus, Mary and Joseph, what an idiot I was. I still have the posters, and the four scrap books I made in her honour. Those books have comments made by me that read; oh look how hot she is, sexy girl…, beautiful, moan she is hot… *LOL* Save me form such ignorance and “oh-look-at-me-I am-so-bi –that-it-hurts-and-I-have-no-idea-who-I-am -yet”. I actually dreamt about kissing her. How could I think that that was normal? Maybe I didn’t!? I didn’t tell that to my friends, so perhaps I felt that it was odd, deep inside. Here is the “True devotion video” I know by heart. It is a sad and beautiful song!

I was out walking yesterday (hold the front page, call CNN, BBC news and Reuters, for she has once again moved) and I took some beautiful pictures form the forest, or so I thought. Turned out I had been messing with my mobile camera, and set it to take the crappiest pictures ever. Like really bad quality, and so m y pictures didn’t turn out so nice. I was irate when I found out. The lighting was spectacular through the trees, and I so wanted to capture that. Today the weather has been lashing rain, so dull light as well. No point in taking pictures either.

I want to share some old pictures today. I must have been a mental head in my teens. Every second picture of me has me sticking my tongue out or making a face. Weird girl.









And I also want to share a picture of me and two of my friends; Agnete and Helene. It is a nice one actually. We were in “Holmenkollen” in Oslo, awaiting a “which Witch” concert to start. I have never forgotten the shoes I am wearing here. The most comfortable pair ever, and so cool too. I wish I still had them. From left; Agnete, me and Helene (who just had a baby).


Other than that, I am quite well. Stomach is acting out, and I have a virus in my eyes. I guess that is the two most exciting things that have happened in my life. Weee!! But, that's ok. I hope this post finds you all well, my dear blogger friends!

Love EV :-)

Yeah it is me

Oh Lordy, for some odd reason I searched for Cadbury sweets online. I wanted to see if I could buy Cadburys there, and guess what I COULD! I nearly choked with happiness. Not only did I find Cadbury’s crème egg (excuse me while I jump up and down in joy all whilst drooling like a fucking eejit) but I also found “turkish delight” (YUMMMMMMMY!!) and toffee bonbons covered in icing. These all remind me of living in Ireland you see, so this is quite a happy occasion for me... I placed an order for Turkish delight, as the crème eggs weren’t in. I can’t wait to stick my teeth into a rose “turkish delight”. It is sooo good, and darn impossible to find here. Ever since I saw “the lion the witch and the wardrobe”, for the first time, and watching Edmund eating the delights he got from the wicked witch, I have dreamt about trying it. And then when I lived in Ireland, Brendan, my “dad” there, bought some for me after being away on bird watching. I ate them in an almost holy state of mind... Yes, I am a bit strange...

Jaysis, yesterday the new government budget was presented. I am appalled at many things, but some were ok too. In Norway we have a custom toll rule that says we can’t import anything, except books, that is valued to more than £ 18.50 / 32.60 $, without having to pay 24 % tax and some other costs as well. I think this is a load of shite! And extremely vexing!!! When I order online, from say amazon.co.uk, I always have to make sure my orders don’t exceed that amount, or I will have to pay hefty for it! And I order online a lot! Now the government, who promised to raise this level of import toll on all merchandise if they were voted into government, have decided that one line of garment will become duty free. Guess what; knickers! Oh my, excuse me while I party to that decision... Is that supposed to make up for their lack of promise keeping!?! Duty free underwear me arse! Bollix to them! In addition, the price on soft drinks like coca cola is increased with a whopping 61 %. I mean, is that even legal!? Did I say I LOATHE a lot of the things this particular government has done... And by that not implying that I hate the parties “on call”. I intend not to be political in here, as I have my face on this blog, so that is all I want to say. Or actually, let’s mention one more thing; please God let Barack Obama become the next president of the USA! I will not embroider on what I think about the other one... Gives me the chills that one, as does the wise president. (Even more) There, I’ve expressed a tiny bit of political standpoint.

Exam of the 26th of September went kinda ok, or so I hope. The part about law went fine, but the second part not so much. I just hope and pray I won’t fail. Even an E will make me smile this time, and I am not joking you! (for those who don’t know, is the last grade on which you pass) I think by next Friday the result will be in, as it takes a while to correct 60 something students’ papers, as we write about 15-20 A4 pages each. Cross fingers!

My friend Helene and her husband Halvor got a little baby boy, Peder, on October 6th. Congratulations to them!!! So happy for you guys! Can’t wait to meet him.

I have to vent one thing... It has had me worried lately. It is my mum’s health. To tell a short story; my mum was born without both hip sockets, and with a limp. As an infant she got both new sockets put in, without any sort anaesthesia and was in plaster up to under her arms for most of her first 3 years. In addition she hardly ever saw her parents during that time. She has been maltreated by the health services a lot, and when she finally was heard in 1991 the orthopaedist was appalled when he saw her x-rays, and said; “you shouldn’t be able to walk, damn woman!” instead of resting/using her hips sockets to keep herself up, she had used her pelvic bone and other nearby bones... They were all almost worn down. Lately her health has become worse and worse, yet she keeps on trucking. Mum never gives up, despite having lived all her life with A LOT of pain. She is amazing, and the most selfless person ever and I love and admire her more than anyone. Then this week she suddenly got a horrible pain in her foot, on top of all other pain, and could hardly move. And of course that happens when they are supposed to go to Spain for two weeks on Saturday. She deserves two weeks of holiday and relaxation. Growing up I got used to her illness and disability, and I didn’t always notice it. She had better periods too, and she doesn’t really have a limp any more. But lately it’s become such a sorrow for me. It is like it is finally sinking in. I’ve always known, and wished there was something I could do... but yesterday I just cried for ages and ages, I screamed to God to give her some peace (pain free days like...) and I just felt so incredibly helpless, and SO IRATE! There is nothing I can do, except help her practically. But then my back is bad, and so it isn’t easy for me either. Oh it bloody sucks! After my surgery next year hopefully I will lose weight and be able to help her out more. Hasn’t she had enough by now?

EV

Oooh exciting post

In the absence of something better to say I turn to this; a questionnaire Nina had on her MySpace. I hope perhaps I will be able to write something tomorrow. I can say that I am really freaked out and stressed, so much so that it actually paralyses me. Exam is scaring the bejaysus out of me! Energy come to me!

Do you have someone who you can be your complete self around?
Yes, most people. I am always myself, but perhaps my ex Inger Marie stands out as she knows me in ways that no one else does…


When you think about your last kiss, how does it make you feel?
Sad(ish), as it was with my ex, and it was a tearful and sore moment/kiss as we kinda knew that “this was it”.

Who was the last person to call you?
Rønnaug

What's irritating you right now?
Oh, do we have space for me to make a list!? But my exam is probably THE most irritating.

What is your nickname? I have none, but when I was small ma called me Mossi.

Is this year the best year of your life?
No I think only 2007 stands out as a worse year than this.

Have you given up on anyone?
Yes one “friend”.

Your ex is driving next to you, what do you do?
Either nothing, if it doesn’t feel right to wave, or wave… My last ex, Inger Marie is in the same class as me at Uni, we sometimes sit together so…

When was the last time you wanted to punch someone in their face?
Every time I hear that people have tortured kittens and other animals.

Where’s the person you miss most, and who is it?
He lives in Sandnes and he is the most spectacular creature ever!

Looking back, did you ever waste too much time on a certain boy or girl? Yeah probably, but I mean things like that have made us what we are today, so.

Do you have a best friend?
Several

Do you talk to the person you fell the hardest for?
No, I haven’t spoken to him since 2006.

Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?
No

Can you recall the last time you sincerely liked someone a lot?
Yes, I sincerely like someone now

Have you ever written anything on a bathroom wall or door?
Yes, once in a nightclub called Mc Grath's in O’Connell Street in Dublin

Who was the last person you held hands with?
Inger Marie I guess

Ever kissed any of your friends on facebook/Myspace?
Yes

Are you happy with the relationship status you're in right now?
Nah!

Does the last person you held hands with mean anything to you?
Yes, she is someone whom I will always love and care for.

Do you regret dating anyone you dated?
Yes

Could you go a day without eating?
I did live solely on “milkshakes” for 6 weeks in 1996. (Cambridge diet)

Who was the last person in your bedroom?
Won’t say…

Were you happy when you woke up today?
No

What do you currently hear?
Abba with “Andante andante”

Ever talked to someone that was drunk?
Yeah, like a gazillion times. Not really fond of it though, if the person is totally wasted that is. And if I am drunk I talk a lot to myself too

Where were you at 3:02 AM this morning?
Fast asleep in my bed having sweet dreams!

Any plans for tonight?
Studying and watching “Will and Grace” on DVD

Ever turned a girl/boy down you shouldn't have?
No

What's the background on your cell phone?
It is a painting by Gustav Klimt

What do you want in your life right now?
Bob, healthy mind, self-love, great brain, energy and strength

How late did you stay up last night and why?
Can’t remember, but it wasn’t late, because I needed to get up at a reasonable hour to study

Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with a T?
Yes, a Tommy and a Torbjørn, can’t remember any more at the moment.

What's your hair look like today?
Normal

What did you do today?
Went shopping for baby clothes for Grete, my friend who had a baby girl a month ago, then went to her to say hi, as she is home visiting her parents. (she lives quite far away) then I have studied, visited my parents, had Karin for a visit, and driven Rønnaug to a party.

What does your last text message say and who's it from?
Will you come over, or do you want me to come? From Grete

Are you interested in a certain person right now?
Yes

What are you wearing?
Nothing, I always sit nude in front of the computer. It is a hobby I have.
No, kidding, obviously, I wear a green t-shirt, black pants, black bra etc.

I left my brain in a street in Hampshire

One of my favourite places in Dublin; Ha' Penny bridge... 

I am stressed. Not that there is anything new about that. I mean, that is SO 2006! Right now I feel I was born stressed. I am sure as came out 34 years ago (Eeeek!) I was all sweating, heart palpitating, nervous looks, and unable to sleep for days… needless to say, the word is exam. On September 26th, which means it is around two weeks from now. The subjects are so so hard, and I am really finding it hard to learn it. As I was reading today I could read a sentence like 5 times, and still it would make no sense. I am seriously beginning to question my own IQ at this moment. The book I am reading now is called:”The democratic laboratory”… Oooh, the title just screams excitement! I can tell you this though; I’d rather eat my own fried eyeballs than having to read this shite one more time. That is how painful it is. The authors have written in the beginning of it: We hope with this book to be able to inspire students… To do what? Cry? Leap through a window? Tear off ones hair? Commit suicide?
I have to nag about one more thing; almost every word of the damn thing is a foreign word, and I would have to look almost all of them up in a thesaurus to be able to comprehend even the slightest thing. Big words come to me!! I am fucking desperate! The worst thing is that they write it like these are words everybody should know, well newsflash; we don’t! Right now I wish I had chosen the more mathematical career, like engineer. I did think about it, but thought that since I was as old as I was, I would be better off getting an education that can be used in many ways and fields… Hear hear, the stupidity! 


So, that was today’s little vent. Or was it big? Yeah, I think I would land on that. I am actually going out tonight. Going to Karin to meet up with two other girls we went to High school with. I hope for a nice evening. In fact, I am going to be there at 19.30, so I better start getting ready soon. Have to put some make-up on, which means mascara… Hehe, I am not exactly a make-up crazed woman. I do wear eye shadow sometimes, I do, but not on a daily basis. Usually it is just mascara. 

Well, I think I might have to go. I didn’t realize the time when I started writing. 

Please pray that my brain suddenly becomes brilliant!
 
Me, left, and one of the girls coming tonight; Hildegunn. We were "Russ", which is what we can become after 12 years of school in Norway, like after High School. It can probably be compared to graduation in USA. 

EV :-) 

Ooops, there she blogs again...

Yeah, can you imagine! Gosh!! 

I have felt it in my fingers the last days… the restlessness, the longing, the urge to speak… My fingers wanted to run over the keyboard again. Jumping lightly form letter to letter, expressing themselves, so after making sure it wasn’t just a phase, I sat down in front of the computer today, to do what I haven’t done in almost two months; write a post for my soon 3 years running blog. 

Hey! How are you all!? Hope you are all fine and dandy! Some of you beloved fellow bloggers have had contact privately with me too; Leila, Laura, Moxie, Martha-Anne, Nina, Nora, Lynne, well you know who you are, and you are all people I treasure! Thanks for being in my life, and for being there for me. 

I have actually managed to turn 34 since I last wrote. That happened on August 2nd. Had no big celebration, didn't feel like it.

Then, I am ready to do some writing.I just read the newspaper and I was seriously gob smacked and thrilled to read about Bishop Tutu’s address to the Anglican Church. He thought they were obsessed with homosexuality and sexuality, and that that shifted their focus away from the real problems of this world. Sexuality is irrelevant and there are more important things to worry about; like fighting poverty. He was ashamed by his fellow Christians who’d rather discuss homosexuality than discussing the 30 000 people dying every day from hunger! Also he thought that these Christians go against the teachings of Jesus Christ in their treating of gays, as they did what he called “persecuting those that already are persecuted”. Such a good and true sentence! Kick those already lying down… Finally someone who matters has spoken the words I’ve been saying and thinking for a good while! I am overjoyed! And it served them judgemental ones right!!! 

We do get a lot of American TV-shows in Norway. One thing stands out, after watching a lot of different shows over the years, and that is the "fact" that ALL American girls apparently dream of getting married from a very young age. They picture their man, the cake, the dress, the bridesmaids, how many guests, etc etc. and then when the day comes they get insane if things don’t go perfectly… Like one fecking day is more important than the marriage itself. What is this!?! I do not get it, not on any level. I think I never ever thought about those things, let alone what bloody cake I would have. Who cares, as long as it doesn’t taste crap, and looks like something your neighbour threw up… I know that this doesn’t account for all American women, but I swear; jaysis I’ve seen a lot of mad, in my opinion, women on TV. I remember seeing some couples who had saved tons of money for buying a house after they got married. But instead they used it all, hundreds of thousands of dollars, on the wedding. They spent it all on one measly day. What about the investments in the marriage itself? Do they really think that if the wedding is great, that that somehow automatically makes the rest of their relationship perfect as well!? Who are these people? I wonder if this is a typical American type of thing. What do you say fellow bloggers, is this the case in your respective countries as well!? I know it isn’t around here. One of my friends got married, and their wedding wasn’t expensive, (well, as inexpensive as a gathering of quite a few people can be), nevertheless it was without a doubt the best party/wedding I have ever attended! I enjoyed myself immensely. So it isn’t all about the money, it is about being able to put your own heart and soul into it, daring to be yourself, so that people can feel that when they arrive… I’d say it’s just like decorating your own house. If you do it just by looking at pictures in trendy magazines, you haven’t decorated according to your own soul and personality, and that will show… it will be felt too. It will feel colder, more uninviting, and unloved. If you rather look at what is modern, but still use yourself, and family if you have one, in the process, I think you will end up with a modern, inviting, personal and cosy home. My home is inspired by outwardly factors, to a certain extent, but mostly by what I feel inside when I picture and think about what I want to express and sensel in the different rooms. The result, I think, is a great place to spend time, where friends and family can feel at home. (I hope you don't think I am saying this to boast and be cocky, as it is not what I am trying to convey...) Some people even tell me this, every time they walk into my flat. That makes me happy. I want people to feel welcome in my home. And my point to this was that it is possible to achieve something fantastic and loved, without spending an entire fortune. My flat is made up by non-expensive furniture and decorations, so... 

It feels good to write a little bit again, just had to say. I can’t promise posts several times a week like before though, as I have a horribly busy autumn ahead of me, with three big exams! First one on the 26th of this month. 

I won’t elaborate on my insane lack of lust for writing. Let us just say it’s been a hard eight months, with work practice, Bob, weird people, eating, sobbing, no exercise, and self-hatred. I am not completely where I want to be yet, and I think it will be some time before that happens. I am however on my way to more positive thoughts and ways of living. I won’t tolerate complaining, as I have no fecking thing to complain about. Jaysis, I am lucky! I was awoken actually, from watching an episode of “extreme makeover, home edition”. Well, it doesn’t matter what the means are, as long as the awakening happens. 

I will leave you now, play some Worms, and then do some studying… 

I am back! Yay! *giggle* 

EV ;-)