HURRAH!!

Only a short post, as I am expecting a visit, but I got a beautiful B on my Bachelor thesis. It is a very good grade in Norway. I am over-thrilled and happy about it. Also I am very proud of myself!! 

Weeeee... 

Finally!

First of all; HAPPY BIRTHDAY to a wonderful friend Laura (Italy) on her 23rd today!! This is one girl that is truly special to me. She is smart, compassionate, honest, real, funny, vulnerable, and beautiful both inside and out, brilliant, creative and yes, just fabulous in every sense of the word.

Second of all: HAPPY 4th OF JULY to all of USA!!

Yeah, it’s definitely been a while. Over a month. No posts in all of June. Frankly I have to say I don’t remember much of that month. It is all a blur. I think mostly I’ve played The Sims and watched “Charmed” on my computer. The last weeks has been totally warm and roasting, and as we all know; I don’t do well with heat as of now. So to me the last weeks have been a living hell basically. So even another reason to just sit still in front of the computer. I don’t know what I’d do without my beloved PC. *lol*

I’ve had hard times with chest pains lately. And for some time, and still a little tiny bit, I have been sure it is a heart attack waiting to happen. Even though I do know it is muscular. Being so obese it wouldn’t be that weird if I had an attack. This has given be a bit of a scare and fright; let us just leave it at that.

Now I just have to vent about something else... Since I was very very young I’ve felt somewhat different, and also slightly deviant. I have found it immensely hard to find someone or somewhere where I didn’t feel this. To this day I have only found it two places, and with two different people. Though some of my newer acquaintances might be such “safe” places too, but I yet have to meet them in real life to see if it is true. I know I’ve talked about in here before. It is something that comes from deep within, and it lives in the very core that is me. Other than that it is insanely hard to explain why this is very true to me. It just is. I just want to point out that this doesn’t mean that I have a need to be different because it sounds cool or anything of that sort, believe me! Neither does it mean that I can’t love, care and have a great time with my friends. It doesn’t. All of my friends are like family to me, and they are priceless in all their ways!! I just don’t want to hurt anyone by saying these things... Sometimes it gets to me, but most times it is just ok, as it is who I am. One of the differences, quite huge one, is something I’ve been going through, over and over in my mind and life lately. I’ve come to terms with this side of myself and embraced it with all my heart. It has always been there, but I have been subduing it ever since I was little. Now was the time to break out. I am not going to talk about it in here though, even if it leaves me a tad annoying. It is just too incomprehensible for most. I have told one friend of it, and boy was I nervous!! My heart was popping out of my body! She took it well, and I love her for it. She is amazing! I am not saying I won’t tell anyone else, ever, but time will tell. It felt good just to say that...

Still haven’t learned the result for my Bachelor thesis. Yaaawn, I am getting fucking tired of waiting, seriously! I hope we will learn it by this coming week. Please let it be a great grade!

Now, at least this was a wee update from my part of the world. I do read your blogs guys, but I haven’t been in a writer’s mood, not even commenting, so I am sorry! I’ll try to be a better friend!

I love you though...

Monsoon :-)

Bachelor

Boy it is roasting here today. I am practically melting. Heat doesn’t do well with me, not now. Hopefully next year it will have improved at least some!

However, didn’t write to talk about the weather. I wanted to share with you that my Bachelor thesis is done. I sent it off to Uni on Thursday, and it was a fantastic feeling. I went home to my parents with a copy, and you know to just share they joy with someone. I ended crying a little in mum’s kitchen, just because of all the feelings, the frenzied, the stress that had built up, the living in a cocoon’s nest for several weeks, was over now. It was almost anti-climatic feeling too. My final thesis statement ended up like this: (though I must say that it is highly difficult to translate it properly. I can’t find the right word for one Norwegian word you see...)

"The significance of different views on man, and the importance of consciousness and reflection in the implementation of social work“

I honestly have to say that I feel content about it, and I don’t think I could have done it much better. I am proud of it, and also of what I’ve achieved. After three really hard and challenging years at University I am soon a certified social worker. There’s definitely been some trial and tribulations, but I have overcome them. As students we’ve been put on the spot, having to defend our views, both personally and professionally, in front of all the other students. I’ve dramatized pretend social work cases many times during class and had presentations in front of the whole class, and teachers. I’ve survived 6 months of the “pressure cooker” that is work practise, and I’ve managed to get good grades too. I have been scared stiff many a time, of all the challenging things we’ve done, but initially I has taught be loads. I have really been forced to come out of my, (newly made that is!!) shell and “comfort” zone, and it has been good for me.

Meanwhile I am really looking forward to getting “The Sims 3”. It will be released on June 4th, and I can hardly wait, like seriously. I’ve waited for years. I will probably die of anticipation while installing the game. Ha ha! It is all sooo exciting! I am like a child on Christmas Eve. I like that about myself actually; the ability to be a bit childlike and playful. I hope I never lose the lust for life that way, the lust to play and have fun that way. I don’t think I will cause I luuurve it...

Well, a tiny update, but must go now. Things to do.

Love to all!

A trip

I thought I’d write a little update.

Yesterday I went to the hospital in which I will be having surgery later this year. My dear friend Karin was so insanely kind as to accompany me, and even drive me. She swapped days at work, so she could go with me, as moral support. I had to go because they were having an information meeting for around 20-25 people. All having the same surgery... The meeting went fine. We had info from our surgeon (there is only one surgeon who does this procedure there) the OR nurse, a food and nutritionist expert and a general nurse. I have to go 3 more times to that hospital for checkups and amongst them is a gastroscopy. I did one like 6 years ago, so I know how uncomfortable that is. But I’ll do anything at this stage; just give me the operation already! It was a long drive, which also included a ferry trip and two trips under the sea... Hehe, the trips under the sea were in fact taken via Subsea tunnels. We were 233 metres under at the bottom, and from there waited a steep climb!! Not easy getting around all these fjords and stuff in Norway. *lol*We left at 8 am, and came back around 8 pm. Phew! I was wrecked, my body ached from head to toe, but I was very glad that this part now is over. We had a fun trip all together. Had great laughs; I almost peed my knickers. Tjihi. Here are some photos from the trip, taken from inside the car, so they aren’t all great.

The first one shows the dodgy place we bought some food. Luuverly look, but the food was really tasty so...

The weather is gorgeous at the moment, and it is still not dark outside, even though it is eleven. The odd shower, but mostly sunny and blue skies. I like it.

I am still giddy and bubbly and content, and that is a good thing. It is a really good thing actually. Man, it is good to be alive. I am also happy for some dear friends who are having terribly exciting things happening in their lives at the moment. I hope it all goes well.

I am not very inspired today, so excuse the little post. I just wanted to say hi. Hopefully a new post will come soon.

Love in heaps :-)

Last day of April

Last day of yet another month. Could time possibly fly any faster? I think not. I've started writing my Bachelor's assignment at least. So far I've 2500 words. And I sent it to my counsellor. She wrote back that it wasn’t difficult to see that I had complete control over what I was doing. So that was a nice compliment. At least then I know that what I’ve written so far is good. I really do want to get an excellent grade on this assignment, and I will literally be very upset if I don’t! It is the most important thing of all the exams and stuff. As you are in complete control of it yourself. I chose the subject and I chose the problem to be addressed. My thesis statement is this: "The significance of different views on humanity” In short I want to explore and show that it is of importance how we view other people. Especially as a social worker. It can have a profound influence on how we carry out a case, how we meet and greet someone who is “different” from us, how we might pre-judge people, and so on, and thus the outcome of a case. So be alert, be conscious about your views, don’t categorize, truly see the person in front of you, know your “weak spots”, and then you can do the best work...

Just wanted to show you guys how the mirror, I talked about in an earlier post, ended up looking on my wall.
I like it. Actually I love it. It makes me happy just looking at it, and every time I leave my PC-room I stop and look at the whole “display” of things I adore. It sounds materialistic perhaps, but they aren’t expensive designer things. Pretty, cute and creative things make me feel good inside. It really does. Can’t help it. This is another thing that I lately bought. After seeing it for the first time in 1995 I’ve wanted it ever since, but never found it. Then one day on E-bay... I say no more. The total cost of this huge picture and fame came to 200 Nok, which isn’t bad. (£20/$ 30) When it came up on the wall, tears ran down my cheeks. I am a sissy, yes I am. What bliss I felt then. I can sit for like 15 minutes and just look at it. It is so adorable! Does anyone recognise it?
And just to torment you even more with stuff form this place; I like a bit of humour in my everyday life, and so a sign on my laundry room door felt right. Isn’t the sign cute? *lol*
Next time I blog I will introduce you to the two sign on my bathroom door. Enough for today...

Have I told you that I love spring? How can I not? The weather is fantastic and the trees and grass are turning green. To sit in my kitchen and look at the view when I eat breakfast, what joy! Despite the fact that a beautiful birch is blocking the sea view where I sit, I can still see glimpses of the sea. Plus, the birch isn’t bad to look at either. Another thing I like, and which I know I will appreciate even more after surgery and weight loss, is the fact that people go outside more. Norway is a cold country, and so we are used to spending a lot of time inside our homes. But then in spring it changes. People just hang outside, doing little things and work around the house, and then they meet neighbours and talk to them. We actually become more sociable, more open, and happier even. It is all good. And not to mention; we become more wanton it seems. At least I do. (How I can be more wanton is beyond me, but nevertheless it is true!) A woman in her 30’s, combined with spring, it can’t be healthy! *lol*

Off to watch a film I think.

Be good or be naughty... ;-)

Our Earth

I’ve found out that there are HUGE differences in the world, when it comes to recycling and stuff like that, and a lot depends on where you live. How and what we recycle depends on where we live, and it differs a lot. Here's a funny-ish story to show how different it can be even in the smallest of things.

At 20 I went to Ireland, and to be specific I went to a town 12, 5 miles west of Dublin, called Celbridge. I loved it there. But, back to the story; I have always drunk a lot of diet cola or Tab X-tra, which is its own black drink. Living in Ireland made no exception, and after a few weeks I had bags and bags full of empty bottles. I had kept them under my bed, as there was storage under it. (The bed was built for the room especially...) Then one Saturday I came downstairs with a gazillion bags in my hands, all ready to go and “pawn” the bottles for money at the local supermarket. Or so I thought... My “family” all stopped what they were doing and looked at me as if I was insane, and asked what I was doing with all the bottles. “Pawning them” I replied. Still no understanding to gain from my bystanders, and as it turned out; handing in your used bottles, be it glass or plastic, was never heard of in Ireland. I don't know what the situation is now though.

In Norway on the other hand, this has been normal practise for as long as I have lived. It actually started in 1902. For the small bottles you get 1 krone, and for the bigger 2, 5 kroner, which is approx £ 0, 10- 0, 26 and $ 0, 15 -0, 38. We also return aluminium beverage cans and bottle crates for moeny. And it works well. 93 % of all bottles are returned into the recycling system. So, that helps mother earth a little! Plus, if you drink quite a lot, returning the bottles add up to quite a few bucks too. Almost every supermarket has reverse vending machines that look kinda like this:
In addition to this, we also recycle a lot. In my municipality each household has four large bins outside. One is for paper, one for plastic, one for food waste and then one for “the rest” of the garbage. Not including glass or canned goods though. There are collective bins for this sort, close to your local supermarket. Here are my bins: Sorry for the bad image quality, and also; this picture was taken before we painted the house beige.

I am not implying that I am the Goddess of Green, and that Norway is the King of this, as it clearly isn’t, due to oil and gas drilling for instance. But at least I try my best to my abilities, as do many of my fellow Norwegians.

It was "Earth day" this week. I spent the day trying to educate myself on the whole topic of global warming and all that. I found this cool site where you can test your own impact on the earth. Please check it out, be honest, and tell me what your footprint was. I urge you to do the more thorough of the two... You’ll see what I mean... Find it here.

Apparently it takes 3, 1 planet Earths to deal with my use. Yikes! Despite the fact that I am so cautious!

So here I am

Hi all!

First of all; Happy 59th Birthday daddy!

Well, it’s been a while, again. And not that there is anything extraordinary about that. It rather seems to be the common rule these days. Gosh, I wish I could blog like I did the first two years of blogging. I had so much to say and mean about things, and my fingers wouldn’t keep still, even for a minute. 2006 was the magic year. 314 posts. I am sure many of them were crappy, but who cares. At least I blogged... 2007 got 98 posts, and 2008 a sad 36. That is really insanely gloomy. Yikes. Let us hope 2009 will be a better year. The problem is that I think my posts are so boring, uninteresting, uninspiring and just plain yuk! However, perhaps if I just keep writing it will get better; my mind will once again be able to write funny and cool, or even great posts. Let us all join together in anticipation, eh!? Haha!

I am still feeling bloody great. I smile so much, and it still comes from within. Spring is definitely in the air. Grass getting greener, trees getting their leaves and the pink cherry blossomed tree in the garden is starting to bloom too. People are acting “more alive”. They are much more outside, and thus being more social with each other. Usually it is too cold to be outside for longer periods of time in Norway, like during fall and winter. I can’t say I am social with my neighbours. I won’t elaborate, but they are neither nowhere near my age, nor my interests. One of them though, is cute. He looks, and is, your typical nerdy type. I am allowed the odd gaze, aren’t I? I’ve talked to him a lot actually, and he seems like a nice guy. He is married, so there is nothing more there, just to clarify before you all start wanting me to get to know him better. I have no such interest in him, I just think it is nice that I find someone, besides Bob, kind of cute, you know!?

I have a confession to make. I beg of you to not judge me... Hehehe.... I love the Harry Potter series. Like seriously. I have seen those films so many times I don’t want to talk about it. Also the books. It is just the whole world of wizardry that fascinates me no end. And the way that that whole world is soooo thought through, like the way there is a Department of Mysteries for instance... I want to be a part of that world. I want to shop in Diagonal Alley, fly my broom stick, play Quidditch, do spells, have a stroll in Hogsmead and not to mention; go to school at Hogwarts. Oh how exciting!! I also adore the f act that there is room for so many weird, different and sometimes corny characters. Yes, I am 34 years of age, but this is the truth, the whole truth... I bet you are smiling and shaking your head in disbelief right about now. Because you can’t believe that a grown woman can be like this. I will tell you why. Because I love imagining, I love magic, I love dreaming, I love being in touch with the child in me, I love playing, I love pretending and I love the thought of a magical world. So as you can imagine, I am counting down to the sixth film. Weeeee!!! 

So there you go.

I will leave you go now, and so lots of love and hugs to you!!

Life is good, and then you...

SMILE!

Lately I’ve found myself much more content with myself and my life, and that is a sensation I haven’t, candidly, had for many years. I might have felt happy at times, smiled and laughed, but I have to say that the kind I am experiencing right now comes from the deep. It comes from way inside of me. It begins in the toes, and swaddles and runs in every cell and pore in my body, and then it comes out in my eyes and smile. My face radiates happiness these days, and it feels so good. My mum told me the other day that there was a clarity to my eyes and face that she hadn’t seen since I was much younger. It is true. The best thing is that I know now that no one can take it away from me. It is up to me how I respond to life’s downs. I will pretend to hold problems in my hand, look at them, experience them, and then pretend to put them somewhere where they can be part of me. The biggest difference is that I won’t let them wholly consume me anymore. That doesn’t mean I can’t have pantsy days and bitch about it of course. I am still going to need that sometimes…

May-Bente is my first cousin, and she is two years older than me. She also grew up here, and our mums are siblings. She is a teacher, but is currently training to be a life coach, and I have been one of her “experiments”. I am gloriously happy that I signed up for it. She and I have gotten so much closer, plus we have managed to “save” me. To get me out of my humongous black hole… I’ve done the homework we’ve agreed on, and I am still doing them. Man is helps to be positive. I can’t understand I ever forgot that fact. I used to be much more positive, but too much negatives, bundles of it in a short time, took it away, and I never noticed it before it was “too late”.

I feel like a woman. It might sound weird, because needless to say I am a woman. (Just to clarify; I have never wanted to be a man, it has nothing to do with that) However, I have never really felt that inside. That whole woman-process started with Bob. Never in my whole life had I ever felt like a real woman, but he made me feel that. On a grand scale! I wanted to be his woman. To me the word woman holds a lot of things I’ve never been able to relate to, but thanks to Bob, my cousin May-Bente and my own journey, this is now a word I feel related to. It is all good. (Talking about Bob; I keep dreaming about him in my sleep, almost every night. Gosh! He is yum!)

Enough about that, but I just had to share as I am so exceedingly happy about it.

When I was a toddler I had white curly hair. Then when I was about 3, 5 my mum cut my hair, and my curls vanished never to be seen again. Sadly. However, lately my hair is getting more of its curls back. That is so weird. Yet very welcome. I adore wavy hair. Every time I wash my hair more curls show up. This picture was taken a month ago, and since then my hair has become curlier, especially in the front.

In Norway we call some of them “korketrekker” which translates to corkscrew. I don’t know if that is a word used in English for curls that look like a corkscrew, but that is how some of my curls look like. I do welcome the change though…

I read in the newspaper that masturbation can prevent hay-fever. It is the Iranian scientist Sina Zarrintan who claims so. No wonder I never have hay-fever… ;-) So needless to say I am definitely continuing down that path of prevention … Wee!

Take care!!