Woo hoo!

My good friend Karin came with this beautiful flower for me when she heard I had gotten A. Such a nice gesture!

Saturday, and I am waiting for the semi finales in the Euro Championship. Norway is playing France, and that’s gonna be a very difficult match. I have belief in the Norwegian team, as they are very good. One of the most important players was injured in their first match in the championship. Her name is Katja Nyberg, and she is girlfriends with our captain, whose name is Gro Hammerseng. They are both fantabulous handball players! I think it is so cool to have a couple on the team, especially as that means they are lesbian!! Great shout-out for the gay community I think. Here they are; Gro to the left, and then Katja.

I am going to Hege today, as it is her birthday. She’s gonna have a smallish party. I am glad the match starts and ends in time for me to see it all before having to go the party. Maybe I sound mad in head, but I would have chosen the match first, and then I would have gone to the party afterwards. It is not that often there’s a Euro championship… Only every second year actually. Hope the party will turn out to be good!

I have finally put up the rest of the Christmas decorations, and to try to get some of that jolly feeling into my body I played Christmas songs while doing it. It helped, until I realized most of the songs were sooo sad sounding. And then I also remembered that yesterday was the day my ex and I started to live together. Yuk! But that took a turn in a different direction last year all right. Here I am single, and she is busy planning her wedding with her new girl Vanja. “All” just because I was so fucking stupid to fall in love with a married man. Oh holy crap! (Of course we had other problems, prior, but me liking him was the triggering factor) But I guess it was all good in the end. When I was able to fall so hard and so deep both emotionally and physically for someone else, it kind of said a few things about the relationship I was in. It probably wasn’t right after all. I know that now…

I just have to nag about that A again, just a little bit. When I got it the first person I felt like telling was Bob. Huge surprise! As I always felt that he believed in me, and I am certain that he would have been proud of me. Well, certain was maybe a strong word; I’ll say I think so instead…

Almost done Christmas shopping too. Yea!

Monsoon - in a good mood -

BOB

School's out for now...

Last day at Uni, so now it’s Christmas Holiday. Yea! I start again on January 10th, so that’s close to one whole month of holiday. Though; I can’t stay on the lazy side at all. I have tons of pages to read in law and sociology, and social psychology too.

In the handball championship Norway is doing Ok. They’ve won their first four games, by at least 10 goals. Yesterday they played Austria, and Norway played really bad at times. But we managed to win in the end, 39-24, which was great on a bad day I guess. We “won” the last 20 minutes with 13 goals. Austria used to be one of the top teams in Europe, but unfortunately they aren’t that good anymore. One of their players, Sorina Teodorovic played in Norway at Bækkelaget for many years. I used to work-out at the same studio as her, and so it was nice to “see” her again. Tonight Norway is meeting Macedonia. Hope we win this too. Heck, let’s win the whole damn thing!

Listening to Neil Young, and I have to say that though I love his voice, it kinda kills me at the same time. It is so incredibly sore and melancholic sounding, a lot of the time. It grabs your soul, and you can’t help it. It just happens, every time, unnoticeable… It’s all good. I like it this way. I couldn’t bare, even the thought of, not truly living and being influenced by the music I listen to. Of course, from time to time, I too listen to music just to get me dancing and stuff like that. Music is medicine, and it’s like the fabulous Pete Townshend says; “Rock won’t eliminate your problems, but it will sort of let you dance all over them”. How true!

I have written so many poems lately, plus pouring my heart, soul and mind out, in all sorts of writings. It does me good, but it cures not all wounds. Hopefully time will take care of that for me.

My feet have still not hit the ground after getting my A. I am flying first class at the moment! And boy is that lovely. I talked to the teacher who had the main job to mark my exam today. (10 people have been involved in marking the exams though.) She said it was the best A they had seen in a long time, and that she only had one comment on it which was: crystal clear A. I blushed while she said this and she commented on that and added; “I guess you’ll blush even more if I say that I wish to copy this to everyone else for them to see how it should be solved?” Yes, I said, and I don’t want it copied! I don’t! I feel embarrassed! But oh so happy! I am afraid my feet won’t ever touch the ground again. No, I am kidding, but I am just so un-fucking-believably happy and fulfilled by this. I am sorry if I sound totally haughty now, I don’t mean too, I just feel like sharing how exalted and proud I am. So again; excuse me if I sound like one gigantic ego… I am not, really…

*LOL*

Well, I am off to watch some telly I am…

Tiny update: Norway won 28-13, and tomorrow awaits Hungary. Difficult match, as they are very good!

Monsoon

Long time

Wind and rain, heavy horizontal rain, as usual here. But I love it. I like weather that almost goes through your body. Really rough and fabulous weather.

Anyway. I haven’t been writing for many days. I think it is the longest gap between two blog entries, since I started a little over a year ago. Don’t know why, no I do know. I think my writing is insanely boring. I only write about what I’ve been doing and about my fucked up emotional life and so on. It’s like; why would that be interesting to anyone? God! I don’t know where I am going with this blog anymore. I think it’s gone somewhere I never planned for it to go. Should I stop writing? But then; I haven’t a clue as to what I should be writing about instead. I don’t want a political blog, only fractions of it. I don’t want it to be a complete journey of my extremely complex mind, like in the form of poems, short-stories and “blabber”. I don’t want it to be a reeling off of someone else’s words, definitions and opinions in all forms. I want it to be me. The true me. But I can’t reveal all the truth. The written language is much more powerful than the spoken. You can’t see the person, the expressions, body-language or eyes. Therefore the written word is easily misunderstood in the way that people tend to exaggerate the words, and give them other meanings than they were intended.

I remember I wrote a poem about how I waned to sleep for a long time. To me that just meant for a while; until the storm was ridden… But to most of my friends that “meant” that I wanted to die. So there you go! Perhaps it’s just meeee…? In addition; the one thing constantly on my mind I can’t talk about all the time. Most of you feel revulsion by the name Bob by now, and you might even experience puking. To be honest; he is on my mind 24-7, no doubt. In by bloodstream, floating around like the only truth I will ever find. But I can’t just go on, and on, and on about him. So to get some of the steam out, I might just end an entry with BOB… nothing more. It says it all. “My head is saying "fool, forget him". (From some lyrics…)

I sit here and look at my beautiful and sweet pussycat. So glad I have her. When I feel lonely,”talking” to her and cuddling up with her helps me. At least she is a living creature…
A social person like me isn’t made for living alone. It sucks.

Looking forward to going to school tomorrow. Then I am going to tell one of the teachers I got an A. She old me she was keeping her fingers crossed for me, so I know she will be so happy to hear about my grade. Of course it won’t be painful to tell people how I did either. Woo hoo! *lol*

I am dead tired and so I am going to bed, big time!

Monsoon

*BOB*

I AM THE HAPPIEST WOMAN RIGHT NOW.

I GOT AN A ON MY EXAM!!! (which is the best...)

There were 5 of us who got an A, out of 100 persons.

*crying in pure exalted joy*

Life is sunshine right now... Took this picture as the sun honoured us with its presence earlier today. It's been ages, as the last weeks have been nothing but rain and rain.

To add to the joy of today, there’s a rumour that THE WHO might be playing a festival in Norway next year. I will chew off my left foot for that to happen! (tad exaggerated, I admit)

Now I am waiting for my dad to come down. We're going to watch Norway versus Slovenia in the European Championship in handball for women, which starts today.

Monsoon - so proud I could die -

tiny note

Having a crappy crappy day, but one good thing: Finally an Inter match on TV, so that's what I am going to be doing now. I am going to watch Inter versus Bayern Munich. *must win this game*

Only annoying thing is that the football players all look like ants running around. Why? Well, because my old, but totally adorable, TV, is only 20". 

I have vowed not to buy a new one before this is broken. A tiny 
protest against the "use and throw away" society we live in... 

Monsoon

Words, don’t come easy to me, how can I find a way, to make you see I love you?

Words, don’t come easy to me… No, that’s truly true sometimes. That song really reminds me of being a child. It is called Words. Do you remember it? Awwwh so cute. My aunt and I sang it together in her car while out driving. Talking about “old times”; there’s this programme on TV here. It is called “golden times” and the concept is this: Three men, who all were young in the 80’s, go around the world to talk to the heroes of the 80’s. Some of whom they’ve talked to are: “Krystle” and “Fallon” in Dynasty, Sabrina, Bo Derek, The Bangles, Samantha Fox, Glenn Medeiros (sang Nothing’s gonna change my love for you) Limahl (sang the never-ending story) and of course more. I enjoy that show, because I think it is cool to meet the stars of then and see what they’re up to now.

I will, somewhat unwillingly, admit that Samantha Fox was my big idol of that time. It wasn’t her music that I liked the most about her. No, in fact I was like the guys who drooled over her two important frontal assets and the rest of her body as well. (little "pervee") I had about 300 posters of her, and they covered the walls in my HUGE room in the basement. I also had scrapbooks of her, and I still have them today. While other girls had posters of Jon Bon Jovi and other male singers whom they found sexy, I had Sam Fox. Even more unwillingly I will admit that I had both posters and pictures of her topless. (yup, that’s not deviant, nooo…) I was ardently taken with her, and watched videos of her “all day long”. Weird. I have mentioned her in my diary even, and I have written about how sexy and beautiful I thought she was. God, give me a break!! How my bisexuality could pass me by until I was 20 is way way beyond me. More importantly; how come my parents weren’t a bit startled over the amount of posters of women in my room? (It is all coming back to me now; I had pics of Catherine Oxenberg from Dynasty too… Oh God!) In denial perhaps!? *lol* No, I don’t think it was that. I had boyfriends all the time, so I don’t think anyone, me included, thought that I was anything but straight as log.

Lucikly after this periode I developed both a better taste in men/women and music! *lol*

Though I must say, right now I do feel more on the straighter side. I suppose it has to do with the fact that I have met my “dream partner”, and he is male. (oh boy is he male… sigh and a little bit of drool too…) While with Inger Marie I felt more on the gay side. So I guess it all depends… I will stress this though: I don’t need both at the same time. I am monogamous! I just had to say that because, unfortunately, many people think that bisexuals are these horn dogs that need to have sex 24-7. Also that we never can be faithful and that we need both sexes at all times. One big sexorama I suppose. That’s not true, not for me it isn’t.


Yes, yet another childhood picture of me...

I am so tired, that I think I need a little nap. So I’ll see you all.

Monsoon

B.O.B

Wuthering heights

My kitchen, living room and hall are spotless. I doubt it’s been this clean since we moved in here in May 2004. Hihi… The kitchen presses even got a good scrub, and I’ve done a thorough cleaning job all round. I was supposed to do the rest today, but somehow I never got around to it. Wonder why? I will do it Thursday after shopping for Christmas presents. My dad was kind enough to tick off in a, Clas Ohlson, catalogue what he would like. Makes it easier, as it is so hard to know what to buy. Like, he really does have everything...

The weather has been very wet the past few weeks, with very strong winds and rain. So in this nice weather I found out that going for walk sounded like a good idea. And so I did. I drove down to the sea, and walked down to the beach. The sea roared and I am glad I had a cap and scarf on. When I got down to the “top of the beach”, I actually sat down on the wet ground. It was beautiful to sit there and feel the hard strong wind on my face, and the rain almost whipping my cheeks. I feel alive at moments like that. All alone, receiving whatever the nature has to offer in its entire wrath. That is true magnificence! Have promised myself to try to do that at least once per weekend, when I have the car. I love the sea; it is so powerful and intimidating. I feel a complete awe and calmness being beside it. Took some photos, but while trying to avoid rain on my mobile/camera, the pictures didn’t turns out so good. You’ll get a picture of w hat it was like. I wish I could have taken a picture of the roaring sound, which would be cool!


Here I am trying to take a pic of myself, but virtually impossible as the rain and wind "took" me

No kids in sight here...

Due to the insane amounts of note taking at Uni I have managed to get a tendonitis in my wrist. It hurts like hell. I am very much used to it, because when I was a goalkeeper in handball I had tendonitis all the time. Still annoying though. Dad said that he has a laptop I could borrow, but I am not sure that would be better. Don’t particularly like the laptop keyboard. It is so flat somehow. I find it difficult to write. So I think I’ll just stick to the old pen and paper. The 13th of December is the last day before Christmas, and then I am off for nearly a month. Hope that will “fix” the wrist.

I think I will play some worms, and then I'll watch some TV.

Monsoon :-) - Feeling quite happy today -

B..

I have no idea what to call this post

I’ve been off school today, but I had to get up early nevertheless. Drove my grandda, who will be 86 on January 30th, to the hospital for a check up on his tongue. (He had cancer). Luckily everything seemed fine, so I agree to what grandda said on the way home: “It is the best Christmas present I could get”. He gave me 400 NOK for driving him. I said that that was so not necessary. But he replied: “that is the least your services are worth”. I gave him a long hug in the hospital hall, and the nurse smiled at us. I have always been very special to grandda, because I speak my mind, and I am always myself. I never pretend, or try, to be this “picture perfect” for them, and he appreciates that so much. Also he says he likes me so much because I am honest, and if I think he behaves like an idiot, I will give out to him. Weird the things people are grateful for, eh!?

Well, back to today; when we came home to Varhaug, grandma had pancakes and some home baked cookies for us. That was my breakfast, to my grandma’s horror. This was at 12 o’clock and I hadn’t eaten. I then had to tell her that there is no immediate emergency connected to me not eating. Besides; I detest breakfast. I just can’t seem to swallow food right after getting up. If I am not insanely hungry, which I rarely am at the crack of dawn, I usually don’t eat before two hours of getting up.

I think congratulations are in order!! About a week ago my (first) cousin Ole Morten, 26 years, gave out his first examples of his gourmet ice-cream. He makes the ice-cream on his farm right here at Vigrestad, using only the finest ingredients from the farm and other places. He has been to Italy to learn the trade. He had to go back to the country where it all started you know. I come from a long line of ice-cream lovers, and boy have I tried a lot of ice-cream around the world. Nothing compares to “Iskremgården”’s one. Wow! Last weekend my brother came with four samples for me to try. While eating all I could do was moan, sigh, moan, and it sounded like I was up to something completely different. And I am telling you; for every spoon I ate I had a tiny orgasm. *lol* The flavour exploded in my mouth, it was the best I have ever tried. I don’t particularly like strawberry taste, but this one was like a taste of heaven. Fresh strawberries… One big yum! I am so proud of my first cousin. He and his wife have worked so hard to be able to do this. And not only that, the logo is made by family too. In fact my brother designed it. What you can’t see from this picture is that behind the name there is a vague air photo of the farm. Too cool!

Tomorrow is cleaning day, and by that I mean really clean!! Even move the sofas and vacuum behind them. Heavy bastards! *lol* Then I have to get out some of my Christmas decorations. I will post pictures later. I even have special curtains for the kitchen. Gotta love this season. Wish me luck because; yuk!

I do wish there could be some way I could be in charge of my own dreams at night, as it seems that my subconscious is living a life of its own. I have one dream category, and have for the past few months. Pray what ever could it be? I won’t keep you in the dark for long. The category is Bob. One would think that by now I must have dreamt every dream there is about him. But ooooh nooo… Every night something new. At this point I find this to be hysterical! Last night I dreamt that we were slowdancing, really close, and well let’s just leave it with saying; it was kinda sexy. *pulling three billion wish bones at the same time*

Monsoon ;-)