There is a debate going on in Norway at the moment. Our Parliament is going to vote on making gay marriages equal to heterosexual marriages. Which means; we will get the same rights within our relationship as a heterosexual couple would get. To me this goes without saying. Why should someone have a better union than someone else, based on their sexual identity. Madness! We do have something called “partnerskap” in Norway now, where gay people can “marry”, but it only leaves us partly equal when it comes to rights. It isn’t on the same footing as a “normal” marriage.
Some over religious pastors are out with their thundering speeches and preaches about the society’s damnation, decadence and the general deterioration. How gay people are disgusting and unnatural. What gives them the right? Argh! How Christian is that? Not very! Where is the solidarity in that? It is nothing short of discriminating. They take out of the Bible the parts and passages that suit them and their ideas, and exclude the ones that they don’t like. (I’d say that would mean the ones on loving, understanding and respecting all humans) And not to mention; we are NOT here to judge!!! It is not our business to judge or condemn other people. That is up to God. Like the Bible says; let him without sin, cast the first stone”. Yeah, let’s see then!
So why should they be able to decide and judge whether two people who loves each other can’t marry and have the same basic rights as any other couple. I don’t see the problem with it. And don’t give me the thing about the Bible saying it is a sin. If we in 2007 were to follow everything the Bible says, well; we would have to change “everything” we believe in, plus all we do basically. The Bible wouldn’t approve of many of the things we do nowadays. Get real, it is the 21st century, people and societies change. Gay/bi people are here, deal with it, and get used to it. We have rights just as much as any other human being. And not to mention; we have the same dreams and hopes for our futures as you have. Gays too dream of kids, a nice place to live, a car, jobs that we like, a great family, a good marriage, nice friends, hobbies, yes, the “good life”. We’re not that different. Really. Only difference is that we share a bed with someone of the same sex, the rest is very similar. I do not see what all the fuss is about. Why should you judge? Why should you mind? Why should you hate?
Yes, that was my thundering speech. I haven’t talked a lot about this political issue, and I haven’t because being bisexual is not all that I am. It is merely a tiny part of the person Monsoon. And it is a part that I don’t ponder upon a lot, as it is just normal to me. After all; I’ve been bi all my life. (Though not fully understood and accepted it emotionally before I was 20)
Janne came over while I was making dinner, and we had a good talk. It was lovely to have her here. I needed it, needed something to make me smile. She is coming over tomorrow evening for the third Harry Potter film. Cool.
I’ve decided to buy myself an exercise machine thingy. One of those elliptical ones, as they aren’t as strenuous on my joints. I can’t wait to get hold of it. How much easier it will be, emotionally, to work out. I have to battle myself every time now, to dare to walk outside. I am embarrassed and scared when out like that. And that stresses me in ways you normal weight people can’t understand. One time I drove down to where I wanted to walk. Noticed a car, and thought “ah well”. But then I saw that it was a family, and they were playing right at where I would have to walk. I was petrified, and sat there for 10 minutes. In the end I drove off, tears running down my cheeks. Sad and mad at myself. Why must I care what others think or say about me? So now I won’t have that extra battle. Like loosing weight isn’t hard enough without an extra fight?
I think this is enough for today.
Monsoon - missing someone -
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Official bugger all whining day
I am having a very bad day, and so forgive me for what I am about to write. Bugger bugger bugger! I just want to cry. I am so drained, so excruciatingly wrecked that it isn’t even funny. I can feel the huge lump in my throat at all times. Due to a lot, but most of all because of the two major things of this last year, so it seems; Bob and EXAMS! I really don’t get these subjects, and I feel like I am failing on all accounts. Makes me sad, as I had such high hopes and expectations for it all. I just don’t understand it. My brain seems to be so not tuned into stuff like this. The concepts, the theories on how the state works. Fuck it all! And this even comes from a woman who actually is interested in politics and the world’s going on, and still… I feel sorry for those who aren’t interested in it at all. How do they cope? The exam is a fretting week and half away.
In addition; I keep finding life at University, as a whole, very disagreeable. I never look forward to going there, quite the contrary. I know what it will be like; sit alone, eat alone, sit and be alone in the breaks, and go home sometimes without having talked to anyone. And it isn’t that I don’t try. Believe me. I like to chat. Heck I love it!! I do small talk to a few people, and some of them even smile and say hi, unsolicited… Wow. But most of the time they are all too busy with their cliques and gangs to notice the fat girl eating her slices of bread alone on the bench. Some are filled with prejudice and have avoided me like I was one of those horrendous plagues that spread like the wildfire since they found out I was bisexual. I certainly do not feel like part of any class at all. God, I feel like such a deviant looser. This isn’t what I had wanted or hoped for. Also; there’s a paucity of people my age there. They’re either 19-20 or 47-52, and I think that makes matters worse. I do try to keep a positive mind about it though, but on days like this that is impossible. I won’t let it keep me down, I promise! I will get up and shine!
Eva was at my place yesterday evening, and we had a good time. She is lovely. It is all so relaxing with her. After all we’ve known each other for 30 years. I am glad I have real honest and fantastic friends, when times are bollix.
I just talked to Irene on the phone, and we talked for 1, 5 hours. It left me feeling a bit better, at the moment. She is great. Talked history, men, school, work, incomes and lots more. She and her hubby Arne were in London just now. They had visited “The imperial war museum”, which is one of my top 5 on my “to do list”. That visit would probably stand out as one long orgasm to me. Irene agreed… They had enjoyed it a great deal too.
However I am off to watch a documentary on the Nürnberg/Nuremberg trial, which started in 1945.
Take care you lot!
Monsoon
I love him still, bugger!
*lol* Some windchime, eh!? Found in Pompeii, where a lot of other erotic related things were found. Imagine this in a living room.
In addition; I keep finding life at University, as a whole, very disagreeable. I never look forward to going there, quite the contrary. I know what it will be like; sit alone, eat alone, sit and be alone in the breaks, and go home sometimes without having talked to anyone. And it isn’t that I don’t try. Believe me. I like to chat. Heck I love it!! I do small talk to a few people, and some of them even smile and say hi, unsolicited… Wow. But most of the time they are all too busy with their cliques and gangs to notice the fat girl eating her slices of bread alone on the bench. Some are filled with prejudice and have avoided me like I was one of those horrendous plagues that spread like the wildfire since they found out I was bisexual. I certainly do not feel like part of any class at all. God, I feel like such a deviant looser. This isn’t what I had wanted or hoped for. Also; there’s a paucity of people my age there. They’re either 19-20 or 47-52, and I think that makes matters worse. I do try to keep a positive mind about it though, but on days like this that is impossible. I won’t let it keep me down, I promise! I will get up and shine!
Eva was at my place yesterday evening, and we had a good time. She is lovely. It is all so relaxing with her. After all we’ve known each other for 30 years. I am glad I have real honest and fantastic friends, when times are bollix.
I just talked to Irene on the phone, and we talked for 1, 5 hours. It left me feeling a bit better, at the moment. She is great. Talked history, men, school, work, incomes and lots more. She and her hubby Arne were in London just now. They had visited “The imperial war museum”, which is one of my top 5 on my “to do list”. That visit would probably stand out as one long orgasm to me. Irene agreed… They had enjoyed it a great deal too.
However I am off to watch a documentary on the Nürnberg/Nuremberg trial, which started in 1945.
Take care you lot!
Monsoon
I love him still, bugger!
*lol* Some windchime, eh!? Found in Pompeii, where a lot of other erotic related things were found. Imagine this in a living room.
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Art and friends
Such a quiet evening. I walked home from my parents (yes the whole 250 metres!) after delivering the car back. I had to as they were using it to transport some rubbish from redecorating and fixing the basement. It has turned out beautiful. Well, as I said I walked home, and it was just lovely. The leaves on the trees were completely still. How extraordinary that is around here. No sound or movement in the trees. Not even a car was heard. Such weather always leaves me in a peculiar kinda mood.
Yesterday my brother painted three paintings, and they are just gorgeous. Abstract, and I get totally lost in them. Well especially one of them. Is there something arty that boy can’t do? He writes poems and short stories like a God. He makes art on the computer, and he paints. Yet he thinks nothing of himself, how wrong of him!! He won’t hear of it when mum and me, plus other people tell him he has talent. God knows what could come of him if he really tried to develop his skills further. I was messing with him, saying that he could become one of those “insane and mad painters”, and cut off limbs, like Van Gogh. *lol* Some of the great ones needed their insanity and depressions to create art. He makes me proud my brother. One of the most intense, profound and honest poems I have ever read he wrote to his girlfriend. Made me cry, made my ex cry, because he conveys his feelings in such a remarkable way. You can totally experience what he feels.
On Thursday Janne was here, and we watched Harry Potter and the chamber of secrets. She hadn’t seen any of the films, so we started with number one and will work our way through them all. Oh what a sacrifice for me… Not! I love those films. Janne is a fantastic friend. She brought all this tasty fruit with her, and we ate it all, except, for some reason, one strawberry. *lol* Great evening indeed.
This morning I got a text message from Rønnaug asking could she and Andreas, her baby; come for visit. Of course they could. Another good excuse for not studying eh!? I am baaad.
It was lovely, and I got to kiss some baby toes. Too cute and too soft! Yet, I still don’t want kids of my own. Some people can’t respect that, which annoys me like crazy! In Norway we ask each other; “is your uterus screaming/roaring now?”, when encountering extremely cute and edible babies/kids. Mine isn’t, and probably never will…
Was at the dentist’s this morning. EARLY! I had had some severe pain in my jaw (bone) and some soreness in my gum. Was afraid it was gingivitis or worse. I don’t have the strongest teeth namely… tons of fillings. Yuk. But there was nothing wrong. Well, did have one itsy bitsy cavity, my first since 1997. The fucking great thing about the visit was however the removal of the tartar, and some sort of polishing he did. Made my teeth so much whiter. Why haven’t I had that done years ago? Jaysis, I’m telling you, you won’t believe how much whiter they are. I kept smiling and winking at myself in the car mirror, all the way back home. *long live vanity* Uhm… *lol* My mum and brother noticed it immediately. Cool. I am so happy. I have never been this thrilled after dentist’s appointment before.
Soon one o’clock. Go to bed!
Monsoon
BOB, argh!
Yesterday my brother painted three paintings, and they are just gorgeous. Abstract, and I get totally lost in them. Well especially one of them. Is there something arty that boy can’t do? He writes poems and short stories like a God. He makes art on the computer, and he paints. Yet he thinks nothing of himself, how wrong of him!! He won’t hear of it when mum and me, plus other people tell him he has talent. God knows what could come of him if he really tried to develop his skills further. I was messing with him, saying that he could become one of those “insane and mad painters”, and cut off limbs, like Van Gogh. *lol* Some of the great ones needed their insanity and depressions to create art. He makes me proud my brother. One of the most intense, profound and honest poems I have ever read he wrote to his girlfriend. Made me cry, made my ex cry, because he conveys his feelings in such a remarkable way. You can totally experience what he feels.
On Thursday Janne was here, and we watched Harry Potter and the chamber of secrets. She hadn’t seen any of the films, so we started with number one and will work our way through them all. Oh what a sacrifice for me… Not! I love those films. Janne is a fantastic friend. She brought all this tasty fruit with her, and we ate it all, except, for some reason, one strawberry. *lol* Great evening indeed.
This morning I got a text message from Rønnaug asking could she and Andreas, her baby; come for visit. Of course they could. Another good excuse for not studying eh!? I am baaad.
It was lovely, and I got to kiss some baby toes. Too cute and too soft! Yet, I still don’t want kids of my own. Some people can’t respect that, which annoys me like crazy! In Norway we ask each other; “is your uterus screaming/roaring now?”, when encountering extremely cute and edible babies/kids. Mine isn’t, and probably never will…
Was at the dentist’s this morning. EARLY! I had had some severe pain in my jaw (bone) and some soreness in my gum. Was afraid it was gingivitis or worse. I don’t have the strongest teeth namely… tons of fillings. Yuk. But there was nothing wrong. Well, did have one itsy bitsy cavity, my first since 1997. The fucking great thing about the visit was however the removal of the tartar, and some sort of polishing he did. Made my teeth so much whiter. Why haven’t I had that done years ago? Jaysis, I’m telling you, you won’t believe how much whiter they are. I kept smiling and winking at myself in the car mirror, all the way back home. *long live vanity* Uhm… *lol* My mum and brother noticed it immediately. Cool. I am so happy. I have never been this thrilled after dentist’s appointment before.
Soon one o’clock. Go to bed!
Monsoon
BOB, argh!
Monday, May 21, 2007
Oh blogger all!
New song of the day: Vanessa Carlton with Rinse. God, it entirely takes me. With lyrics, voice and composition. I’ve downloaded her today. I first heard her three days ago when I found her on a soundtrack from the TV-series Charmed. As I am talking about downloading; I can recommend a very good and cheap legal site to download songs from. One album costs approx. $1, 20, which is the equivalent of nothing basically. You get less than one song for that amount in Norway. This is the site: http://www.legalsounds.com
Wow, I can’t believe I am writing again today. Gee, I must be suffering from a head injury or something. I’ve got a good deal of studying done, and I even got time to sunbathe a bit on my balcony. Got some freckles and all yeah…
I really like the history channels we receive here. Yesterday I watched a documentary on the “Kinder transport” (Refugee Children Movement) that took place prior to the outbreak of WW II. United Kingdom took in 10 000 children, predominantly Jewish, to help them escape the Nazi regime’s atrocities. Even children down to 2 years of age were sent away to an uncertain future in a new scary country with a foreign language. They were terrified! One girl told us that as the train was about to leave someone threw in a weave basket in the compartment she was in. As she was the oldest she had to go look what was in. She found two infants. Luckily the German searching the train at the border to Holland didn’t report the infants. They had no legal papers, so they would probably have been “dealt with” had he reported…
Can you imagine being 9 years old, standing on a platform with angry soldiers, weeping children, and parents, not knowing what you’re about to embark on. Tummy hurts; you have butterflies, heart pounding, sweaty hands, brave smile, and uncertainty. You enter the train, with slow steps, not really wanting to. You glance out the window and see your beloved parents, waving them good bye with the biggest lump in your throat. Who knew it would be your last time seeing your parents. That last embrace really became the final one for the majority of these kids, as most parents died in the hands of the Germans.
In the documentary when they talked to a man, an elder man, he started to cry. He said that most people think it gets better as time goes by. But it doesn’t he says, with tears running down his cheeks. I still wake up at night in cold sweat, anxiety, and miss them. See their smiling faces as they waved me goodbye. Then I “see” them again, being shot the minute they stepped out of the train in Auschwitz. (He knew what happened to them…) As you can imagine tears were totally running down my cheeks while watching. I whispered to him; “Just wait; when you go to heaven you will see them again, they will greet you there”.
When the war finally ended, it wasn’t even over then. As I said earlier; most parents had perished. The kids then found out about the terrors of their families. It was like I died myself, one woman said. Though, still to this very day, some of the children find relatives, lost ones. Many of them, thanks to the internet. So no matter what the critics say; internet isn’t all bad!
I talked to Stina a good while on the phone today. Love her. It is always so good to talk to her. It leaves me more content than before. She is in a good mood lately, and things go her way. So happy for her, as she really deserves a break.
Gosh, am I miss popular right now. *lol* 4 pending Msn and Skype friends talking to me. I can’t chat with 4 at the same time! I am not that multitask orientated
"how she'd be soothed, how she'd be saved if he could see
she needs to be held in his arms to be free
but everything happens for reasons that she will never understand
'til she knows that the heart of a woman will never be found in the arms of a man"
Monsoon - wanting to turn off the love within -
Wow, I can’t believe I am writing again today. Gee, I must be suffering from a head injury or something. I’ve got a good deal of studying done, and I even got time to sunbathe a bit on my balcony. Got some freckles and all yeah…
I really like the history channels we receive here. Yesterday I watched a documentary on the “Kinder transport” (Refugee Children Movement) that took place prior to the outbreak of WW II. United Kingdom took in 10 000 children, predominantly Jewish, to help them escape the Nazi regime’s atrocities. Even children down to 2 years of age were sent away to an uncertain future in a new scary country with a foreign language. They were terrified! One girl told us that as the train was about to leave someone threw in a weave basket in the compartment she was in. As she was the oldest she had to go look what was in. She found two infants. Luckily the German searching the train at the border to Holland didn’t report the infants. They had no legal papers, so they would probably have been “dealt with” had he reported…
Can you imagine being 9 years old, standing on a platform with angry soldiers, weeping children, and parents, not knowing what you’re about to embark on. Tummy hurts; you have butterflies, heart pounding, sweaty hands, brave smile, and uncertainty. You enter the train, with slow steps, not really wanting to. You glance out the window and see your beloved parents, waving them good bye with the biggest lump in your throat. Who knew it would be your last time seeing your parents. That last embrace really became the final one for the majority of these kids, as most parents died in the hands of the Germans.
In the documentary when they talked to a man, an elder man, he started to cry. He said that most people think it gets better as time goes by. But it doesn’t he says, with tears running down his cheeks. I still wake up at night in cold sweat, anxiety, and miss them. See their smiling faces as they waved me goodbye. Then I “see” them again, being shot the minute they stepped out of the train in Auschwitz. (He knew what happened to them…) As you can imagine tears were totally running down my cheeks while watching. I whispered to him; “Just wait; when you go to heaven you will see them again, they will greet you there”.
When the war finally ended, it wasn’t even over then. As I said earlier; most parents had perished. The kids then found out about the terrors of their families. It was like I died myself, one woman said. Though, still to this very day, some of the children find relatives, lost ones. Many of them, thanks to the internet. So no matter what the critics say; internet isn’t all bad!
I talked to Stina a good while on the phone today. Love her. It is always so good to talk to her. It leaves me more content than before. She is in a good mood lately, and things go her way. So happy for her, as she really deserves a break.
Gosh, am I miss popular right now. *lol* 4 pending Msn and Skype friends talking to me. I can’t chat with 4 at the same time! I am not that multitask orientated
"how she'd be soothed, how she'd be saved if he could see
she needs to be held in his arms to be free
but everything happens for reasons that she will never understand
'til she knows that the heart of a woman will never be found in the arms of a man"
Monsoon - wanting to turn off the love within -
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Kingdom come
I deserve a good old spanking (no, not that kind of spanking… *sigh* you guys and your filthy minds) I have been a very bad girl indeed. I mean, gees, I haven’t updated my blog since the Cuba-crises in 1962, or something like that. So that’s why I need a spank or two.
I can dream can’t I!?
Tji hi…
I have no idea why I haven’t written anything in ages. Guess it has to do with the fact that I hardly have time for it. I can’t really sit down and ponder upon stuff, and then I can’t write, simple as that.
Rachael Yamagata and the song “worn me down” is the song of this week-end. It is just fucking brilliant, and I love her voice in it. It is sad though, and it makes me a bit teary. Nevertheless; I recommend it big time.
My dear Momiji asked could I write about our National Day. We celebrated it on May 17th you see. Well, since I am such a history freak I could have written about ten trillion pages on the subject, but I will keep it short. Though I will go back a bit in history…
In 1380 we became part of Denmark. Norway, who had many years of greatness behind them as a “nation” was reduced to a Danish province. We were under their rule until 1814, when Norway was given to Sweden as a war indemnity. There were tons of reasons why this happened, but I won’t go into that here. It had to do with Sweden loosing Finland to Russia, and being promised Norway by Napoleons opponents if they entered the war. But due to the war no one was here to “claim us, and the Norwegians sought to take advantage of that. So on May 17th 1814, we formed a Norwegian independent Kingdom, with our own constitution and a Danish King to rule. It was a constitution filled with thoughts and ideas that sprung out from “the principle of separation powers” (from French Montesquieu) and “the principal of the sovereignty of the people”. Norway had democratic traditions way back (from the Viking times, when farmers were the ones handling laws and stuff), so it was also a very democratic constitution of its time. In the end Carl Johan from Sweden came and claimed us, and we entered a union with Sweden. May 17th still became very important to us. Why? Well, because of this we dared to work towards a complete freedom, even from Sweden. This eventually came in 1905. Yea! I must say I am sure my old history teacher would cringe if he read this, as it gives no justice to those magnificent men who fought for our freedom, for that I apologize. It is merely a little note to give some idea as to what happened. For you Momiji; I urge you to go see my blog from May 2006, where I have written a little bit about the celebration itself and a picture too in fact…
Eva and I visited Rønnaug and her baby Andreas today. It was great to see them both. It was way too long since the last time. He is just darn cute and a half!
Meanwhile I am studying whilst being scared stiff of the exam itself, and longing for something good. Being obsessive by weight, so my scale has gone into hiding in my parents house. I can’t let the weight of every day control my mood. It isn’t good for me.
I was at the gynaecologists this week. Went well. Got another type of tablets to try. It is supposed to help for several things. Let’s hope it works. Took some, ok a lot of, pictures while driving home from the hospital, and here they are. They are taken from inside the car (I drove the BMW and enjoyed every second of it) so excuse the poor quality.
So, then I am off to watch another episode of my beloved "A touch of Frost", British crime. He is so cute, I can't help it. I didn't buy season 1, 2 and 3 on DVD, no I didn't... *coughing*
Love in heaps
I can dream can’t I!?
Tji hi…I have no idea why I haven’t written anything in ages. Guess it has to do with the fact that I hardly have time for it. I can’t really sit down and ponder upon stuff, and then I can’t write, simple as that.
Rachael Yamagata and the song “worn me down” is the song of this week-end. It is just fucking brilliant, and I love her voice in it. It is sad though, and it makes me a bit teary. Nevertheless; I recommend it big time.
My dear Momiji asked could I write about our National Day. We celebrated it on May 17th you see. Well, since I am such a history freak I could have written about ten trillion pages on the subject, but I will keep it short. Though I will go back a bit in history…
In 1380 we became part of Denmark. Norway, who had many years of greatness behind them as a “nation” was reduced to a Danish province. We were under their rule until 1814, when Norway was given to Sweden as a war indemnity. There were tons of reasons why this happened, but I won’t go into that here. It had to do with Sweden loosing Finland to Russia, and being promised Norway by Napoleons opponents if they entered the war. But due to the war no one was here to “claim us, and the Norwegians sought to take advantage of that. So on May 17th 1814, we formed a Norwegian independent Kingdom, with our own constitution and a Danish King to rule. It was a constitution filled with thoughts and ideas that sprung out from “the principle of separation powers” (from French Montesquieu) and “the principal of the sovereignty of the people”. Norway had democratic traditions way back (from the Viking times, when farmers were the ones handling laws and stuff), so it was also a very democratic constitution of its time. In the end Carl Johan from Sweden came and claimed us, and we entered a union with Sweden. May 17th still became very important to us. Why? Well, because of this we dared to work towards a complete freedom, even from Sweden. This eventually came in 1905. Yea! I must say I am sure my old history teacher would cringe if he read this, as it gives no justice to those magnificent men who fought for our freedom, for that I apologize. It is merely a little note to give some idea as to what happened. For you Momiji; I urge you to go see my blog from May 2006, where I have written a little bit about the celebration itself and a picture too in fact…
Eva and I visited Rønnaug and her baby Andreas today. It was great to see them both. It was way too long since the last time. He is just darn cute and a half!
Meanwhile I am studying whilst being scared stiff of the exam itself, and longing for something good. Being obsessive by weight, so my scale has gone into hiding in my parents house. I can’t let the weight of every day control my mood. It isn’t good for me.
I was at the gynaecologists this week. Went well. Got another type of tablets to try. It is supposed to help for several things. Let’s hope it works. Took some, ok a lot of, pictures while driving home from the hospital, and here they are. They are taken from inside the car (I drove the BMW and enjoyed every second of it) so excuse the poor quality.
So, then I am off to watch another episode of my beloved "A touch of Frost", British crime. He is so cute, I can't help it. I didn't buy season 1, 2 and 3 on DVD, no I didn't... *coughing*
Love in heaps
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Sand in the brand
Why did I just find grains of sand in my bra? One would think I had rolled around in the sand like a lunatic, but I didn’t. So how then? Haven’t a clue to be honest! It’s just one of those things. Mind you; sand isn’t the worst thing I’ve found in there. That is definitely one of the disadvantages of having huge boobs. It serves like a hideout haven for stuff that shouldn’t be there… Every night when I undress in my bedroom, (in a slow sensual and seductive way, needless to say) and the bra comes off, there’s a commotion. No, it isn’t the neighbours howling from the balcony in pure angst, it is in fact the sound of all the stuff from my bra falling to the ground. A slice of bread, a fork, a pencil, a brush, a book… No, I am of course joking, but I kid you not; there’s definitely stuff there sometimes that shouldn’t be there. For instance; once I pulled out my brother’s long hair from there. I can assure you his head had not even been close to that area!!! *lol* Can you imagine me and a loved one, going into the bedroom for that special first time perhaps. For the sake of dreaming, let’s call him Bob. (aaaaahhhhh….) We kiss, cuddle + +, and we start undressing each other. It is all really romantic and lovely, until he takes off my bra and finds leftovers from the nice dinner we had a couple of hours ago. I guess that would be a good way of saying; “down boy!” Gawd! I know I am not alone in this, as I have friends who suffer from the same problem. I hope this will change a bit when I loose more weight. Only thing; I’ve always had big tits, so… Perhaps it is too much to ask for a well behaved bra who doesn’t allow food, or any other unwanted objects in there.
I’ve skipped a lecture today, in order to stay at home and study. I have to prioritize reading above the few lectures left. We only have lectures today and tomorrow this week so. I have such an insane amount of pages to read, and not to mention; learn, until June 6th, that I am just soon willingly giving up. Political science, social policy, law, sociology, social economics… Hard!!! But I did get a lot of reading done today, so hurrah for me.
I had a terrible sleepless and restless night, so that was partly the reason why I chose to stay home today. I just couldn’t get up early, as I had hardly slept at all. What was causing this? As usual one thing… It is so typical that I can‘t even be bothered to comment.
I have so many things I want to do in the garden and around the house in general. It looks crappy. That is partly due to the people downstairs, as they aren’t very tidy. Neither am I, but I do try to keep it nice outside at least, as it looks so shabby otherwise. When I am done with this school year, I can do all of those things. Weed here I come. Plus we are going to paint the house, in a light colour. We’re gonna hire someone to paint, as I can’t picture this fat body on top of a ladder painting waaay up there. This house is very high you see. The ladder would probably sink little by little into the grass, as I climbed it. Hehe… Plus, both the mother downstairs and I, are not to keen on heights.
Late, again. How bizarre.
Huggies to all
Monsoon
Ps ... I lost another kilo actually! Just had to say... Which means 2 kilos in 8 days (4,4 pounds)Yea!
Pss. I just looove Engrish.com
I’ve skipped a lecture today, in order to stay at home and study. I have to prioritize reading above the few lectures left. We only have lectures today and tomorrow this week so. I have such an insane amount of pages to read, and not to mention; learn, until June 6th, that I am just soon willingly giving up. Political science, social policy, law, sociology, social economics… Hard!!! But I did get a lot of reading done today, so hurrah for me.
I had a terrible sleepless and restless night, so that was partly the reason why I chose to stay home today. I just couldn’t get up early, as I had hardly slept at all. What was causing this? As usual one thing… It is so typical that I can‘t even be bothered to comment.
I have so many things I want to do in the garden and around the house in general. It looks crappy. That is partly due to the people downstairs, as they aren’t very tidy. Neither am I, but I do try to keep it nice outside at least, as it looks so shabby otherwise. When I am done with this school year, I can do all of those things. Weed here I come. Plus we are going to paint the house, in a light colour. We’re gonna hire someone to paint, as I can’t picture this fat body on top of a ladder painting waaay up there. This house is very high you see. The ladder would probably sink little by little into the grass, as I climbed it. Hehe… Plus, both the mother downstairs and I, are not to keen on heights.
Late, again. How bizarre.
Huggies to all
Monsoon
Ps ... I lost another kilo actually! Just had to say... Which means 2 kilos in 8 days (4,4 pounds)Yea!
Pss. I just looove Engrish.com
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Say it right
Almost one week since my last entry. Wow! I felt like it was two days ago or something. I’ve just had one of my best friends on a visit; Irene. We’ve had a great evening. Love you! We don’t get so see each other that often, as she lives in Bergen. She is pregnant, and I can’t wait to meet their baby in September. (Well I won’t see him/her before December when they come home to celebrate Christmas, but anyway…)
Had a good week actually. I more or less reached my goal study wise. Not quite though, as I rather felt like chewing off my left pinkie toe, as I thought that would be less excruciating than reading “health and social politics”. That book will undoubtedly have a few lives on its conscious in a few years time. Jaysis it is horrible! Pages up and down on percentages of this and that... statistics all over the place! How to separate the important information from the less important? Kill me!
As you know I’ve come under the magic number once again. Moreover; in the last week I’ve lost yet another kilo (2, 2 pounds) and I am so glad, not to mention relieved. But I will admit that my devilish “other me” is trying to get me to start eating again. Like a lot. So far I have “yelled” at that voice when it sneaks inside. I am not going to give in, not a chance! I am however going to grant myself some ice-cream and a good dinner on May 17th, which is our national day. It is compulsory to eat ice-cream on that day you see… *lol*
But I think that in order to be able to stand the whole course, it is important to have certain days where I can eat what I want.
Thank you all for your encouragement. You have no idea how much that helps me! It is amazing how much one little sentence can do of good!!
I am tired so I think I’ll be off to bed.
I will try to be better at updating. I’ve just been totally in the glorious
"Studyland" the last week. Sorry!
Hope you all are well and happy!
Love Monsoon ;-)
Had a good week actually. I more or less reached my goal study wise. Not quite though, as I rather felt like chewing off my left pinkie toe, as I thought that would be less excruciating than reading “health and social politics”. That book will undoubtedly have a few lives on its conscious in a few years time. Jaysis it is horrible! Pages up and down on percentages of this and that... statistics all over the place! How to separate the important information from the less important? Kill me!
As you know I’ve come under the magic number once again. Moreover; in the last week I’ve lost yet another kilo (2, 2 pounds) and I am so glad, not to mention relieved. But I will admit that my devilish “other me” is trying to get me to start eating again. Like a lot. So far I have “yelled” at that voice when it sneaks inside. I am not going to give in, not a chance! I am however going to grant myself some ice-cream and a good dinner on May 17th, which is our national day. It is compulsory to eat ice-cream on that day you see… *lol*
But I think that in order to be able to stand the whole course, it is important to have certain days where I can eat what I want.
Thank you all for your encouragement. You have no idea how much that helps me! It is amazing how much one little sentence can do of good!!
I am tired so I think I’ll be off to bed.
I will try to be better at updating. I’ve just been totally in the glorious
"Studyland" the last week. Sorry!
Hope you all are well and happy!
Love Monsoon ;-)
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Waiting for a star to fall
I want to zzzzleeep! Me tired… I’ve been studying intense the last two days, and my eyes are sore. There’s 22 degrees Celsius outside, and bright blue sky. My flat has huge windows facing, eeeh is it south-east or south-west perhaps!? I am no good with that. Hmm, but the sun stays in my kitchen and living room until like 6 in the afternoon. So I guess you could say; living room is seriously suffering from heat wave conditions. Luckily being fat going out in this gorgeous weather doesn’t tempt me, as I would melt. And to be honest; I do not love moving at all without my coat on. It is my safety blanket in a (sad, sad) way. Meanwhile; it would look quite odd and insane to walk around with a long black coat (or like I call it; my tent). So in my reading breaks I sit out on my balcony enjoying the ray of the sun on my face and body. No one can see me up there, which is good. I can’t fucking wait to not have to “hide” during summer anymore! Here I am, looking all happy in the sun, with my round cheeks and all.
I’ve started a list for myself. It is a list of things I am physically not able to do, due to my fatness, and also things I “can’t” do, for emotional reasons. This is for me to always remember how horrendously painful, in all aspects of life, it is to be fat. I don’t want myself to ever forget it. Healthy life is still going great, really great in fact. I am flabbergasted.
I can’t believe that in a month’s time I am done with my first year of my bachelor’s degree. It is truly mind-boggling. The time has flown away at an insane pace. Somehow I still feel like I always do; stuck in time. How so? Namely the way that I am stuck, standing somewhere in September/October saying; huh? Gee! What just happened, where am I? I can’t keep up with the time. I’d like to have some sort of a time traveller. How cool would that be? Awfully.
Eva and I’ve been out walking together, both this Sunday and today as well. Great with company. We’ve walked at one of my favourite sites around here; the old and tiny chapel by the sea. Took some photos, some came out great. When I came home today I strectcehd and then I looked at CSI. Good episode! SO now I guess I am off to bed, or...
Plus; special thanks to Lynne who helped me with stuff for the blog. Appreciated it a lot!
Monsoon ;-)
bob... yeah I know... *blushing*
I’ve started a list for myself. It is a list of things I am physically not able to do, due to my fatness, and also things I “can’t” do, for emotional reasons. This is for me to always remember how horrendously painful, in all aspects of life, it is to be fat. I don’t want myself to ever forget it. Healthy life is still going great, really great in fact. I am flabbergasted.
I can’t believe that in a month’s time I am done with my first year of my bachelor’s degree. It is truly mind-boggling. The time has flown away at an insane pace. Somehow I still feel like I always do; stuck in time. How so? Namely the way that I am stuck, standing somewhere in September/October saying; huh? Gee! What just happened, where am I? I can’t keep up with the time. I’d like to have some sort of a time traveller. How cool would that be? Awfully.
Eva and I’ve been out walking together, both this Sunday and today as well. Great with company. We’ve walked at one of my favourite sites around here; the old and tiny chapel by the sea. Took some photos, some came out great. When I came home today I strectcehd and then I looked at CSI. Good episode! SO now I guess I am off to bed, or...
Plus; special thanks to Lynne who helped me with stuff for the blog. Appreciated it a lot!
Monsoon ;-)
bob... yeah I know... *blushing*
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