Mmmmm… Got my new computer yesterday. (yippee-a-yea!!) Yes, I did. I did buy a new one. I just couldn’t live with the old one. It was insufferably slow and testing my patience for every bloody second of the day. Yikes. Wasn’t able to deal with multitasking at a satisfactory level. And if I did, it slowed down to prehistoric level/speed. This new one is brilliant, so far. I have an Intel core 2 duo E6400 CPU now, and it is much much faster than my old AMD athlon 2600+. Plus of course more memory, and better everything. I am going to sell my old one.
Enough computer talk. I am just thrilled with my new one. Can’t help myself.
We’ve had a presentation at Uni today. It went very well. My group had chosen to perform the whole thing as a role-play, where we pretended to be in a debate programme on TV. I was the mean one, being quite racialist. I had to point out afterwards that these weren’t my views, attitudes or meanings. People came up to my in the break telling me I was very convincing. I am pleased about that! But then; I do adore acting… (my secret dream you know, to become an actress) I won’t even tell you all the weird things I do. I can say it involves talking to myself. Hehe…
(God my computer rules!)
Wow, soon 6000 people have popped in here. That is a lot. I never expected that. It is a bit scary actually. Especially since my writing has been appalling lately. So I guess my words are the most scary part here, eh!?! *lol*
One step further has been taken in the Bob business. I have deleted all my documents and stuff that involves him. And by that I mean saved on a CD and external device, for future references. I can’t delete all these poems, written deep sighs, diary inputs etc etc etc. I can’t erase my life you know. But I have at least removed it from my computer. It is symbolic to me. A burial in a way, and in that case I shed some tears. Definitely. Life is fucking unfair sometimes. Dangling in front of me, this ”perfection”; to let me have a sip of what I could get, only to reveal the truth, and to take it away. Cruel. Is this a message from above to tell me I am not good enough for people that great? That I have to become a different person in order to be happy? Ah well. I guess I can’t expect anything that remarkable when I am what I am, and look like I do. Trying to have a positive spin on things, nevertheless.
I have a horrible headache, so I am going to bed. And it is only soon 11. Can’t remember last time I was in bed that early.
Love and all that.
Monsoon
1 comment:
Congrats on your computer, dear! I know how it feels to buy a new machine after having faught over a dinosaure for years!
Good move with that Bob affair. You did everything right, at least so I think. You're right - you don't have and should NOT erase as much as one day from your life, as much as one word you've written. Everything you put down is part of you, your feelings, your life. But putting this part of your life aside, even is symbolically, is an important move and I salute your courage.
P.S. I talk to myself too :)
Love,
Lilie
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