Upset

I am really upset today. And from where stems this anger? Well, a blogger at VG (Norwegian “newspaper”) had the headline” is it the prettiest that are the best in bed?” I had to go in, to see what people said. I regret that now. *remember to never enter those debates on sex and appearance ever again* When did good looks suddenly mean that you are automatically better in bed? What does looks have to do with sexual “skills” at all? It is the silliest thing I’ve heard in a long time. Why even start such a debate? I read some of the answers, but had to stop as I just wanted to write a long and moralising answer to some of those fucking ignorant and hurtful persons. One man had written: Oh sex is better with the more ordinary ones, as they are just so over-thrilled that they’re getting any at all, so they do anything for you”.

Oh, kill me now! I don’t like this. I loathe it! Talking down to girls and women like that, makes me sick. I actually just want to cry! I am not very pretty, nor have I a perfect body, not by far. So things like this affect me. It affects my hopes and dreams, especially for future boyfriends. Where will I find the love and respect I deserve? It seems hard to find these days. And when I find someone who really saw me, he’s taken. Life’s irony.

The nightlife at pubs clubs etc. or the “meat market”, as I like to call it, is not a lot friendlier, not always at least. I hear so many stories, both from friends and acquaintances that even slightly overweight girls get asked to go home on a nachspiel. (in Norway this pretty much means that you ask for sex…) There might not seem to be anything wrong with it. But there is. It’s the way they are viewed that’s wrong. Men assume that these girls don’t have boyfriends, and that they never get any sex cause they’re “fat and ugly”, and so they are all of course desperate for some d***. I have many friends who have told me about countless episodes like this, and it saddens me. They overhear guys talking, saying stuff like. “Yeah she’s single, of course, look at her, she is fat/ugly, but hey if you want some, I am sure she’d be up for it. Just sweet-talk them the right way and they melt like butter in your hand.” YUK! I might be fat, but hey I don’t hate myself and I am certainly not going to fuck just about anything that walks. So not! I need love and attraction. For the record, I am not a man hater. (on the contrary… *giggle*) I am just stating the sad truth of many men’s behaviour. But I am sure there are women who are like this too.

Why must the society be like this. Wish I could snap my fingers, and wops it would be different. Why can’t a big/overweight/fat and even obese girl be sexy? I don’t get it. Sexy is in the eyes of the beholder, and inside of the person. I know I can radiate “sexyness” despite my figure. The figure that probably is repulsive to most people. So, I am not for you then. How can I think that I can be sexy and hot? I am not being arrogant, I am merely stating the truth, because that’s the way “true sexy” works. (to me) It is a state of mind, a feeling in my head and in my body. If we allow ourselves to relax, to show who we really are, dare to find those sensuous feelings, to be flirtatious and playful, then we can be sexy, whenever we want to.

And pretty. What is pretty anyway? Taste, taste taste, it differs. I think the man I like is the most attractive and handsome man I have ever laid my eyes on. Talk about your magnet! He is so sexy that I can hardly breathe beside him. But is he pretty, in the sense of model pretty? No, thank God! Yet he has beautiful expressive brown eyes, a teasing and lovely mouth, a smile that hypnotize me completely, hands that move totally sensual, and a normal tall gorgeous and slender body, that I’d like to see some more of. Hehe… (well hello, of course I do!) None of the men I have liked have been pretty that way. If I was to have what the “world” calls a typically pretty man, like Brad Pitt in my bed, I’d rather eat ice-cream, if you know what I mean. I am not attracted to pretty, well of course Bob to me is pretty because I love him, and because of what he is.

Enough. I feel I’ve used the word pretty so many times it will never get its true meaning back. *lol*

Writing this, which will probably be like non-sense to you all, helped me. I am in a better mood now. Woo-hoo.

Hugs

Monsoon