I sinned today

This was my lunch today, and as tempting as it looked, I have to admit that I actually went out and bought myself lunch today. So after a few bites this went straight in the bin. I couldn't swallow, it just didn't taste good. Since starting school in September I've done this four times, counting today, so it's not like I've spent tons of money on lunch. So I had a chicken sandwich thingy instead, and it tasted yummy! But today my mum gave me a nice boxed ham, so I'll put that on my bread for tomorrow. Hopefully I will be able to swallow... *lol*

Once this week Bob has said hi to me, and that certainly made my day. It takes so little to make me smile, all the way home... I find it odd how one person can make my whole body tremble, even after liking him for over a year. When I see him I can feel my hands shaking, heart pounding like there's no tomorrow, I start smiling and I can't seem to stop, plus my cheeks go red, really boiling hot red. One would think that these "bodily reactions" would calm the feck down, but nooo!

It is sad. I am a sad case. I know. And I have no problems what so ever to admit it. But, the human brain, heart and soul are strange and difficult to understand at times. I've just found something in him that speaks to me, and I know in my heart that I have never felt like this. Anyhow... In a little over a week I will probably never see him again. I can't think about it. And I keep looking for a reason for this happening to me. What am I supposed to learn? It'll take me ages to get over him, I certainly need a closure!

Have been at Eva's tonight. Great seeing her. I love her. She is going to Trond again tomorrow, cause Monday is a Bank Holiday here.

I have had severe headaches this last week, and I had to go home from school early today cause it was so so bad. Went to mum, and she gave me a sorely needed, and PAINFUL massage. I screamed and wanted to run out of there, as it felt like she was stabbing me or something. No pain, no gain I guess. Head is better now, luckily. It's not your normal headache, it's my sinuses. Got trouble with them you see...
So no workout today. Just couldn't, the pain was too much.

I need sleep, so I'll pack up and go to bed now. I am just sooo.... you know.... I can't get myself to write it... But I really am that thing. *lol* I am weird.

Monsoon - dreading Spanish exam next Thursday and Friday. "Take me away from here"