In between feeling mentally ill, I am again seeking comfort in my beloved computer. Yeah the love between us is unreal. I am still offline at home. However, as I am typing this, I am actually awaiting the PC doctor, Mr. S himself, a.k.a. my dad. He has promised to come down to help me. He thinks it’s some sort of network error, perhaps my network card has said bye bye… Luckily, he has one at home to replace it with, in that case. My dad fixes computers, he builds them, installs software and much more, just as a hobby, and he is very good!
Had a very good workout today. Felt great, and groase, afterwards. Groase cause I looked terrible. My face is so red that it’s beyond red! “Spot wisely red” that is… Soaking wet all over the place, swollen, and basically wonderful. *lol* But who cares? It’s good for me
Wrote this yesterday, and I am now back online!!! Thanks be to God! I won't go into what was wrong, because it was a silly little thing... I am just glad I didn't have to format my computer, cause that's just such a hassle! Last time I formatted, I did it myself, and I was well able to, but it takes a long time...
I am listening to The Who, although it actually makes my tummy go all weird on me. Just because it reminds me of someone in particular. Oh, who might that be I wonder. Only the most handsome, sexy and incredible man I have ever met.
I have bought myself a webcast ticket for "The Who" and "In the attic" too?!?, I hope, for July 2nd. They're "doing" Hyde Park. I am looking forward to it, and it will be the second best thing, as I can't be there in person. I am grateful that I am able to see it this way at least!
Friday it's football again. Italy versus Ukraine, and Argentina (yea!) versus Germany. I am rooting for Italy and Argentina. I have to say I was sooo relieved when Totti managed to score on overtime, and by that sending Italy to a quarter final. When Materazzi got a red card around 5 minutes into the second period, I thought all hope was lost. But as it turned out; it wasn't!
Awaited my grades in the mail today, but oooh nooo! I have to send a copy of them to the University within July 1st, so I hope I will get it tomorrow at least. If not, I will have to give out to someone... I certainly hope for a 5 in math.
I miss him. I miss him so much, and it makes me sad, and mad too... Why do I have to love someone who is married? Why do I care so much for him? Why do I long for him, sexually and emotionally? Why do I find him so hot that thinking about him makes me smile the widest I have ever smiled? Why can't I seem to accept the fact that HE CAN NEVER BE MINE?
For fuck's sake; I just want to remove my feelings, be a robot, be a cold person, and never waste love on someone who doesn't want it, ever again! I have been heartbroken before, but those sorrows disappear and feel totally insignificant to the way this makes me feel. I am tired...
I am not in a very good mood today, so I think I will try to work out to see if that helps. Sometimes it does.
Monsoon
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