I think this is cruel!

I've had a good week, but due to my bleeding annoying strong PMS the weekend has been quite crappy. I cry too easily when suffering from PMS, and I hate it. Makes me so vulnerable and weak in a way. Yuk! So an incident today had me shocked, saddened and yes, pondering upon the fact why some poeple are cruel...

I drove up to the local kiosk, where I actually worked for 3,5 years when I was younger, whilst going to school. I had to renew my monthly pre-paid ticket for the train. When I came out of the kiosk, I noticed 5 young men outside, and as I walked by them one of them said: "oooh groase, look at that disgusting and ugly fat chick there, she gives me the chills". I was totally flabbergasted and replied: Shut the f... up, and got into the car. I drove away, and I honestly could not hold the tears back. They just kept coming, unwanted as they were. I was going home to deliver the car to my parents, and I went into my brother. He held me and consoled me. I know it's very silly of me to react this way, but it's never nice to hear that you're ugly. Not when you're so hung up on the way you look, and totally aware of that you're not looking your best, being fat and all. But most of the time I am able to forget that I am fat, and just focus on the fact that I am a nice and charming girl. (well, that's what people who are nice say at least...)

Sometimes I really detest other people. What makes them think that anything in this world gives them the right to be cruel, in their ways and comments, to others? I never get this.

So here I am, tired, sick and tired of being fat. I HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why the fuck have I done this to myself? No use in asking the question. There are too many answers, uncountables!

But I am different now, and I am doing something about it. I should be happy for that at least.

Sorry, I have only complained today... just one of those days, right?! But I am not all darkened out. I am happy too, and thankful for many things.

Bob. What more is there to say? Nothing it's all been said at some point I guess.

I am going to brush my teeth, take my vitamins, and go to bed. And I will do so with a smile, not caring about the young man/boy with the foul mouth.

Hugs Monsoon