Well well well. Just got back from Hege's. Nice evening. I have been very social today. Got up at 11, put my computer on, got dressed (yes in that order), sat by the computer surfing and checking stuff, and then Rønnaug rang to ask if she could call to my house. She came, and later on that day Eva came down as well. Great day! They went on the 7 train to Varhaug and Ganddal. I fixed myself and went to Hege, and here I am now.
I have had a very mixed week. Some days have been brilliant, others have been directly "shitey". Yesterday I was at school trying to do maths, but I found out after a few hours that I might as well go home. Could not concentrate... I am dreading this exam so much that my stomach hurts. In addition I am totally and utterly stressed out because of it. I have never been like this over an exam before. The math exam course I went to Tuesday and Wednesday were very helpful though, glad I went. Please God, let me be able to manage coming Wednesday.
Thursday I woke up needing to go to the loo. Just outside my bedroom door I nearly stepped in vomit. Shira had left me a huge pile of "good morning to ya" on the carpet. Aaahh, how lovely. How thoughtful of her to start my day off in that particular way. How did she know that that was just what I needed? Uncanny. So there I was, down on all four in the nude (yeah, no time to get dressed you know... *lol*) rubbing the spot, and swearing at the cat. It must have been quite a sight. Glad no one could see me.
On top of this I am feeling bloated, fat and ugly as hell these days. Every day is bad hair day. Every day is bad skin day. Spots are popping out like I'm a teenager, and everything feels "yukky". Dissatisfied much? Feeling useless, unintelligent, silly, lazy and boring. As usual when I am darkened out like this it's that time of the month. PMS city, big time.
Also; I have lost every ability to speak whenever Bob is nearby. Every word I say in his presence comes out sounding so stupid that I should get paid for the usage of incomprehensibly brainless words and sentences. I just have to laugh at myself, cause if there's something I am never out of it's words. But somehow I turn almost silent, and if I speak only dim-witted words come out of my mouth.
Oh, I am listening to the song "such a rush" by Coldplay. It is soooo fabulous.... Especially the part where there is desperation in the music, at the end of the song. It's kinda like you feel like closing your eyes, lifting your arms and dancing, letting the music carry you high high high!!!! I LOVE THAT!
I guess I should go to bed. My lovely bed. Somtimes going to bed is the best thing in the whole world. Getting undressed and slipping in between the covers. It's soft and warm and cuddly, and I want to bury my head in my pillow. I guess that is why my hair looks disastrous every morning. The back of my head looks like it's been back-combed for ages, frizzy and funny looking. I am such a hilarious sight in the morning. Also, according to my ex I talk a different language in the morning, or after having a nap during the day. I am always half awake, half asleep then. To me the words were perfectly fine sounding, but to her it was like hearing some sort of African tribe language. After 5 years she was able to understand some of it, don't ask me how. I talk in my sleep as well. A great deal. My ex has interviewed me several times, trying to dig out some dark secrets. (I am glad she didn't do that to me last year when I first got the crush on Bob...) She never found out anything interesting. Is that a bit sad actually? If you're boring in your sleep , how boring are you then in real life, eh?!? *lol*
Going to bed, not being interrogated by anyone...
Monsoon :-)
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