Tedious, sooo tedious....

I have been ages at school today. Wow! Did a lot of math, and still I am freaking out. Less than a week until my final exam in maths. God help me! I don't want to. I am so afraid of disappointing myself and a whole bunch of people I know, who have high expectations of me. What if I just "forget" the whole thing? I am so scared of it that I will probably just sit there knowing fuck all, having left my brain at the train station at Vigrestad. Or maybe the taxi driver stole it? Yes, he saw what brilliant brain I had, practically a professor's, og maybe a member of Mensa's, so he had to have it. Buggery bollix to me, being childish and silly.

I have written back and forth a little bit with my ex today, on e-mail. As it turns out she and her new girlfriend are purchasing a flat. Such a rush... Have been together for 5 months only. Ah well. At least I don't choke at the thought of her anymore. I can see pictures of her and not care. Glad she has found someone, I really am.

My feelings are pretty pre-occupied by a certain someone anyway. No room for anyone else. Nooo, really? Gee I haven't noticed!!

I am wrecked, and I cried today. A bit sad, but what can I do? There is nothing to do, so I will just have to wait for it to pass. I just yearn so much for him. I want to hold him against me, just to be near him for maybe 5 seconds. I am dying to!! I like his hands. They are nice, very nice indeed. And his smile... Oh for fuck's sake, kill me. If there ever was a sexy smile, he has it. But he isn't just good looking, there is so much more... Sadly.

I have 15 GB with music on my computer. Not a lot actually, but more than I had a couple of months ago. I will have to get more. Music is the most important thing in my life, except people that is. Enough about that. I write about music all the time, so I won't today.

I am exceedingly tedious. So to be a bit on the silly side again I am posting a picture of me and a friend. We were a little bit under the influence, and were just "showing off" for the photographer by making out. This was two years before I had any idea I liked girls...



I am the one on the left, whose face is barely visible.


I have to say, daft as it might sound, that I like this picture. I always have. There's just something about it. to me...




Leaving you with a sentence of wisdom from a film called "Now and then":
Things will happen to you in life that you can't stop. But that is no reason to shut out the world.

Monsoon ; -)