Yesss!!! I’ve lost another kilo (2,2 pounds)
Unfortunately that is about the only thing which is good news. Well I did exercise
today as well, which is also good news… So it’s not all dark and gloomy. :-)
I had a horrible incident yesterday. Was so dumbfounded by the whole thing that I wasn't even able to speak up and defend myself. I called my mum right away, and tears just started running down my cheeks. I hate it! Why am I so bloody weak? Can’t I just be strong and not care? Sensitive bloody idiot! Why the fuck do I still like him? There is absolutely no point to it. I am utterly distressed and embarrassed, and I just want to bury myself somewhere. I don't want to go back there, ever again, having to face him will be torture!
He is only a guy, so why the heck should I bother thinking about him? And it’s not like he is the last insanely sexy guy I will meet. OK, he is the sexiest being I have ever seen… but anyways… (I sound shallow… It’s not that he is just sexy, he is much more than that…)
My point to myself is that there will be others. Men/women who might even like me back. I think that losing additional weight will give me more comfort within myself, and then I will automatically come off as more desirable…
Stina and I didn’t fall asleep until half past 4 this night. We were over-tired, and talked about funny films, and laughed our heads off. Hilarious! I fell asleep first, and apparently I do talk in my sleep. I also snore. (Oh I feel so feminine… *laughing*, but to my defence my nose was blocked…) In the end Stina had to leave my bed, because my talking, moaning and snoring
were all making her laugh so she couldn’t sleep. The poor girl ended up on my sofa instead. I am such a good host!! Not!
It is snowing like crazy outside. It’s also windy, and the wind goes straight through you. Freeezzziiinnngggg... It’s exceptionally nice to be inside in a hot room when it’s “storming” outside.
My cat just came in. I heard the cat-flap make a noise. I will be expecting her to jump onto my lap in any moment, only to leave wet traces, mixed with sand, on my chest area. Honest to God; I feel I’m living in a sandbox from time to time. When getting up during the night to go to the loo, I hear the crunching under my feet. Vile! And it’s not that my flat is a pigsty. It’s just that I have a cat with paws that function as magnets to dirt of all types. Leaves are a classic! Also snails, bugs, gravel, sand, tiny boughs, and let’s not forget the finishing touch; her own long black hair. Aaaah… There’s nothing quite like it!
Another thing about my cat which is weird, is the way she is able to sense when I have work to do or not. When I sit at my computer just surfing, listening to music and just killing time, she tends to stay away. The minute the thought enters my brain that suggests writing, doing homework, or anything that involves writing of some sort; she immediately gets an urgent need to cuddle. Uncanny! She then lays herself down on my chest, only to block the whole view of the keyboard. Cats! Too cute to give out to though…
Watching “in the ether” on “Towser tv” again. Pete’s voice is amazing! Shivers down my spine! Passion!! Gotta love that!
I am now too tired to write any more. I can’t see the keyboard cause my eyes sting.
Slán abhaile!
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