After waking up today it took me about five seconds before I had myself in tears. I just can't deal with this. It is killing me, on all levels. I don't want more painful stress in my life. I am so embarrassed, like I have never been before. I CAN'T GO BACK THERE! I just can't...
On the other hand. I'm not a quitter... I'm no looser... I am a winner! So I guess the fact is that I will have to face up to it in January. With my head held high, and a strong belief in myself. I can do this! I am going to find my strength, and not give a shite about what they all might think aobut me. I know the truth, and the truth will "save" me. So; never mind the bullocks!
But what can I do? Well, I am me, and I can't change that. I am a good person, with lots of wonderful qualities, with great sense of humour, who cares for other people, who is patient with her friends, who is hard-working, and who, unfortunately has fallen for a man who is married ++. That's my mistake. Kill me! Like I'm the first person on earth to do just that? It's not my fault that he is as wonderful as he is. I can't help that his face is the first thing that comes to mind in the morning, and the last thing on my mind before falling asleep.
That was some sadness, then followed by a little pep-talk...
I am now going to have a shower, to wipe the tears away. I don't want my parents to see the tears. They just feel terrible on my behalf. I am going to them today, to eat my favorite dinner called "komle". Yummy! My parents live only 200 metres up the road here. I can't see the house form here, but it's not the longest walk...
Take care!
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