So...changing my life, that's what it is all about really. And furthermore, it is about staying alive. I am not particularly fond of the idea of dying in a few years time. I actually want to live. I want to have a good life, and I want to have a healthy and steady mind. And now I am working the works actually, and I am so pleased with myself. After battling this eating disorder for over ten years, I am on the verge of re-discovering my identity and soul. It's a terrifying journey, and I am doing it all alone.
The things that are different this time, compared to other times I have tried to change myself, is that I now believe it. I truly believe that I can do this. That I can kill the binger in me, and to go back to being the extroverted, happy, active and smiley girl that I once was. To find my assests once again, and not be afraid to use them.
How did this transformation happen? Well, it all began earlier this year. I started at this school called Sonans here in Norway. I go there to improve my grades to be able to get into university next fall. At this school I met a teacher that has changed me for ever. He believes in me, and he tells me to believe in myself and my intelligence. I have never really recognized myself as an intelligent being before. Not as such anyway... Also he has revolutionized my mind, my ways of thinking and reasoning.
The change in me has been immense. People close to me tell me that they finally see signs of the old me, and nothing makes me happier than to hear that. Overnight I stopped getting urges to over-eat, and I felt like taking care of myself. Doing this as made me lose 20 kilos, and for you non-metrics out there, that means approx. 44 pounds. So I am on my way. On my way to life, and all its glory really! God I am so glad that he came into my life. I will never be able to thank him. What a human being he is...
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