Some more...

The breaking of the spell

















Fragments to dominate silence













I just have to show you two more from Norma Bessouet.

I am having quite a crappy day. Think it is the reality that’s creeping upon me. The reality I dread is the one where University starts in a little over two weeks. I am dreading it so much I can’t even begin to explain. I hate the way I am sometimes. Insecurity is going to kill me. I vision in my head the worst scenarios. Like me being friendless at Uni, not being smart enough to make the demands of the study, people avoiding me because I am fat, hurtful remarks, giggles and slander behind my back. Yes, just every thing I fear will happen. My negative and insecure self see these things. However, I do know that the real reality isn’t like I make it up to be. It’s much better. You see, there is actually one part of me who is confident, who does believe in herself, and who does think that she is worth knowing. Funny how your mind can mess you up.

I promise that I will not oppress myself that way. What good does it do?
And for feck’s sake; I did make a lot of very nice friends at the school I attended for the last 1,5 year. So why would it be different where I am going now? It probably isn’t…

Just watched the film “Matilda”. It is a most delightful film. Funny, heart-warming and cool. Of course, I am a big fan of Roald Dahl’s books. He writes in a clever way, and his books are nothing like anyone else’s. I never read any of his books before I was 20. Two kids I got to know in Ireland, showed me Dahl’s books. I remember reading Tiarnán and Tara their bedtime stories, every time I babysat them. It was always Dahl, and one of the stories was “Revolting rhymes”. It was hilarious! So they got me started on him, and I am grateful for that.

Yesterday evening Vegar and I chatted for almost two hours on Msn messenger. Lovely. He is so great! Oh, did we talk about sex? Nooo… How can you think such a thing? *lol* Well we did. It’s fabulous to have a boy/man to talk to about these things. He appreciates that I am soooo open, easy to talk to, and straight forward. So is he. I like him a lot, as a friend that is. However, I will admit that he is good-looking, very much so. But by God; he is 11 years younger than me. Hehe, and I do tend to like 50 year olds…

I was disgusted by something I read on a gay/bi/lesbian web page here in Norway. A young man, 19, had been beaten on a tram in Oslo, for being gay. Several men had approached him and called him the worst things. Like a..-fucker, mother fucker, and more. He tried to get past them, but then they started to hit and kick him. None of the the people on the tram tried to stop it, not even the driver. It is a disgrace! The tram driver should have called the police instantly. I am just outraged that things like this happen. People like them disgust me big time. I so want to say something else, but I fear I will provoke too much... So I'll shut my hole. But there have been three incidents like this lately, which shows that we as queers still have a long way to go before being completely accepted as equivalent humans.

See you, and be good now, right...

Monsoon