My great great grandfather was a billy goat

"Get to know each other day" number one, is history. Got up at 6 again. And I am telling you; today was even worse than Monday. My body felt extremely heavy, yes heavier than it is, and it was just painful to shift. I am not built for living and moving around this early. Really I am not!

Today we were divided into groups and they made us do different tasks and “tests”. These tests have been worked out by a Danish psychologist. We were no allowed to be with anyone we knew, and we also had to switch groups several times. I enjoyed myself… Quite shocking! But, one thing was great. While in class, I felt confident, I felt secure, and I didn’t give a shite about what others might think of me. Woo hoo! It was such a breathtaking feeling, and I’ve never felt it like that before. Thank you Bob, for giving me back my confidence and believe in who I want to be. Forever grateful!

I think some of this strength stems from the fact that I am 32, and I know that I have experienced a lot of stuff in my time. My life hasn’t exactly been a straight road to perfection. At least for the past 10 years. I even stepped up and took on the tasks no one dared to. God, I am just so proud of myself. But the thing I am mostly grateful for is that of me not caring if I am fat. So what? This is me now, and if someone has a problem with it, and find me disgusting; well that’s their problem, right?

I’ve watched a few episodes of “Ellen” today. I love that show. She is so funny! She is in this sports shop and trying out the climbing wall. Her cousin points out how fast she is at climbing, to which she replies: “Yes, my great great grand father on my mother’s side was a billy goat...” *roaring laughing*

Sooo… Nest week I am probably going to meet my ex. Can’t say that I am looking forward to it. It will be weird. Insanely weird, to be exact. I mean, here is this person that you’ve been VERY intimate with for 6 years, both physically and emotionally. Nobody knows me better than her, and vice versa. Suddenly in November we stop meeting each other. And so now 9 months later I am supposed to meet her at the University, presumably around lots of other people. How awkward is that on a scale from one to ten? What do I know about how I will react when I see her? What if I feel like crying? I still care for her, and I miss her a lot. Not as a lover, but as a friend. I will have to put on a stone face…Yeah, because everybody knows that that’s something I am excellent at doing. One consolation is that I am pretty darn sure she feels the same… Good luck to the both of us.

Enough blabber. By the way; I’ve started another blog. It is called “fra mitt gale hode”, which means “from my crazy head”. (www.framittgalehode.blogspot.com) It will mainly be in Norwegian, but some of the writings, poems and stuff, will be in English as well. I just needed a space to write some in Norwegian, and also somewhere to put my poems, songs and other crappy writing. A lot will most probably be about Bob. But some might be old ones about my ex. It depends. And as some of you puke at the name Bob, because I’ve written a lot about him here, I thought it best to just get a new blog “to do him in” (I wish *lol*)

Pray tomorrow will be just as fun!

Monsoon :-)