What a great song that is. Yes, I know I probably have said that like a million times before, but it's just that I totally love it. The lyrics, Pete's voice and the music too.
I've had a very musical day. Danced like crazy, doing my happy dancing, to a song called lala. Of all people it's a Ashlee Simpson song, but it's great, and it gets me in a great mood. Although feeling happy, I have felt very deep, thoughtful, melancholic and philosophic. I have found myself questioning everything around me. I have discussed history, my sad love life, the middle east conflict, astrology, occultism, ghosts and haunting, the afterlife, space and that whole question of "are we alone here", to which I don't think so.., and also the "unanswerable" questions: Why am I here, does my life have a purpose, is there something I am destined for, and will I find my path eventually?
Also I have thought about why I was to fall in love with Bob? Am I supposed to learn from this experience, and in that case; what the fuck is the learning? Why did life have to show me this person, and all his greatness, only to tell me that you can't have it? Am I not worthy of feeling and receiving such love for anyone. Such care, such strong feelings that makes me just want to scream! He makes me want to take him home and just be good to him, you know...
This Friday I was asking him about something, and I was leaning towards his desk. I nearly put my arm around him standing there... It feels so natural to me that I should be doing such a thing. I can't understand it. I have never been near him, I haven't even given him a hug.
It all very weird, indeed it is!
It's good to know though; time heals everything, and in the future he will be a memory, but a very memorable one I might add...
Forgot to say that I also got myself a new coat for outer wear yesterday. I have worn the same one for 4,5 years now, every bloody day, so it was about time I got a new one. It looks a bit similar, only not as worn out. Woohoo! It is two sizes smaller than the old one, and if it wasn't for my boobs I could have bought an even smaller size. They are great, I am not complaining, but they are a bit annoying sometimes... *lol*
I should go to bed. Long day ahead of me, doing tons of maths for my mock exam this week.
Love from Monsoon
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