A little regret

For those of you who have read, and understood as it was in Norwegian, my poem from yesterday's blogentry: I have now deleted it due to the fact that I regretted putting it in.
First of all it was way too personal, and second of all; my friends have showed concern for me after reading it. They all think I am suicidal, or at least severely depressed. And truth be told; I am neither!
The poem showed very strong emotions, sadness, grief and sorrow, and also frustration over the whole thing. As you all know by now, *lol*, I am totally into this man. And I am really so incredibly saddened by the fact that he can never be mine. On Sunday, while writing the poem, I was very darkened out. That way my feelings, put into writing, became very dramatic, intense and strong sounding. It's just like that when I write...

So dear friends: Do not worry. I am not depressed, nor suicidal. I am quite content and happy, with almost all aspects of my life. Ok!?!

Have worked out twice this week, and I will do so tomorrow as well. Very pleased! But as I love to dance, it's no bother what so ever. Ok then... honestly, sometimes it is. Some days when I wake up, working out isn't the first thing that springs to mind. My body feels really drowsy, heavy, fat, lazy, stiff, and "unbendable". *hihi* But then I tell myself to feck off, and to get my arse moving. Moving towards the wardrobe to find my work-out-clothes. And as obedient as I am, I do. Then I sigh, look in the mirror at my horror face with matching terror-like hairstyle, and yawn at my own boring self, before filling the water bottle and putting on loud kick ass music. Then I am all set to dance the fat off my body. Woohoo!!

If I am in the "paranoid" mood, I sometimes get a bit worried that someone is watching as I dance. Is there a camera behind that mirror? And that antique rocking chair there, is it as innocent as it looks? Is my own webcamera on, and I am broadcasting live and uncensored?!? I am a sight for eyes and minds that need a good laugh; red sweat pants, knickers and a bra, that's all. What if anyone can see me? Oh jaysis, I'd bleedin kill myself! Fear not; I utterly promise NOT to put a picture of myself in here. I don't want to scare you the hell out of here. *lol*

After my math thing today my friend Stina and I got talking, and we talked about sex for almost two hours. We are very good at such things. She just gets me when it comes to sex. And I don't feel like a "deviant horn-dog" while talking to her about it. God! Where is the fun in being single? Especially when you're not interested in flings of any sort... Which I am not! Life is dull, so dull it hurts, in that department. *lol*

I am off school. We're having a mock exam week at school, so the days that you don't have mock exams you're off. Well, I guess we're meant to study of course. I was supposed to have my math yesterday, but for personal reasons I took it today instead. I haven't a clue how I've done. But I am already thinking about some stuff I'm sure I have solved incorrectly. Bollix!! I tend to lose my head, just because it is a more serious test... So annoying! But I have to say that if I score lower than 4 I think all hope is lost for me to get a 5 on the final exam. So let's keep fingers crossed that I end up on at least 4.

I have most likely managed to drain myself from all the crappy writing I am good for, for one day, so I'll stop now.

I am in a good mood, uplifted and giddy. Tomorrow I will practice for my Spanish test on Friday.

Monsoooooooon :-)