The horror...

And my tears came ”wandering” again. Eva text messaged me that Oprah was in Auschwitz with Elie Wiesel. I immediately turned on the TV to watch, as I have always been extremely preoccupied by WW2. I was in Auschwitz in October 2001, and that was a very disturbing visit. Though while being there I felt numb and my mind felt blank. It was an awful lot like an out of body experience… I think ones body goes into a certain special mode, so that you don’t go insane by everything the air holds in Auschwitz. Because the air, oh yes, the air holds a lot of things there, and if you’re sensitive enough, you can see and hear it all.

It was just like “being there” again today… I could almost smell how it smelled, hear the silence again, the feeling of utter despair, grief, loneliness, anxiety, the silent screams of millions, the feeling of walking those streets knowing who had walked them before you, the faces on the pictures staring at you, seeing tons of hair, glasses, shoes, suitcases, the darkness of the cells in Auschwitz I, the ashes in the stoves, the candles remembering, the utter feeling of chills when entering under the sign “Arbeit macht frei”. However, I agree with Oprah; it is indescribable.

I remember as we sat down on the train going back to Beata (my Polish friend in Ornontowice) I said to Inger Marie (ex) “The sky is sad here, the people of the town, the buildings are too, the trees have stories to tell, and the trains station is the most dull and depressing place I have ever laid eyes on”… It really was.
I can’t understand how anyone can even bear living in Oświęcim, which is the Polish name, knowing what truth lies there. But I guess for them it is home, just like any other village. We only see the horror, they most probably don’t. I’ve heard that there are “no” birds in Auschwitz /Oświęcim, and while being there neither of us spotted one bird. So maybe there is some truth to it!?

During the show they quoted Wiesel's book "Night"... I was horrified to find out I hadn't read it. So I went straight into amazon.co.uk and ordered a hardback copy. Can't wait to start reading!

So this had me crying, unabashedly crying to be precise. It was just such a strong experience emotionally. Wonder what it must be like for Wiesel to be back there. There is no way, ever, that anyone can begin to comprehend the piercing pain it must bring out in a human being.

It's at times like this you can lose faith in humanity, but then again; the complexity of being human, holds even the most terrible truths, doesn't it!?

Ok, just had to get that out. I am quite happy today in fact. Had Malin down here, and then we both went home to my parents and ate a most divine salmon dinner. Double yum!!


Monsoon